


Crimson Lies

by Ashbear



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Angst, Dark, Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-28
Updated: 2010-05-28
Packaged: 2017-10-09 18:24:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 180,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/90243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashbear/pseuds/Ashbear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Given the chance to have your dreams fulfilled with a simple yes or no question, could one always make the right choice? A lie that would forever change a nation, a week that would forever change history.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Conflict, Dissension, Contention, Engagement, and Divergence

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally written between the years of 2001 to 2004. On ffnet and other sites there are 42 chapters but, for sake of posting here, I'm going to do it in ten longer installments. As far as warnings, there are some dark themes throughout, minor character death (supporting cast), and violence – both descriptive and implied. There are also some 'relationships' not mentioned, but the main two pairings are the ones listed.
> 
> The story takes place over a one-week period and shows how seven days can make a difference in our lives, shaping one's destiny.

**_Fate will bring together those a thousand miles apart;  
without fate they will miss each other,  
though they come face to face. _  
_-_Chinese Proverb **

**Crimson Lies **

_Politics…if there ever was a second coming of Hyne, I'm sure the only creatures to survive would be cockroaches and politicians. Unfortunately, that means I'd live. I do not want to._

_Squall, Squall Leonhart, Commander Leonhart, I cannot even stand the sound of my own name. Before I became a SeeD, I never even felt this bitter toward life; things change over time. It's been five years since we defeated that bitch Ultimecia. That was truly the beginning of my downfall. Sometimes I wish I had died quickly. I don't think it would hurt as much as living. _

* * *

He stood on the balcony, alone. It was always easier alone. The crimson sunset seemed to reflect the anger in his heart, if not the hatred in his soul. Throwing the butt of his cigarette into the wind, he watched the hot embers as they made contact with the metallic side of Garden. "_There goes another day off my worthless life_," he mused to himself. That alone kept him smoking…it was a gradual, hopefully painful, death. He deserved it.

The sliding glass door slowly creaked open. Squall knew who it was, who it always was.

"What?" he asked, not turning around. Not with spite his voice, just emotionless.

The figure slowly walked up to him, with hesitation she spoke softly, "There was a supposed sighting of the sorceress in Deling. A couple of SeeD..."

He interrupted coldly, "I don't need details. I'm sure the fucking council has already ordered the change of course on Garden. As usual, I'll be the last to officially know. Glad I'm the Commander, if in title only. What a wonderful democratic society I run."

Squall lit another cigarette without turning toward her, as he put his free hand on the balcony rail. The sky now had turned charcoal gray, almost mimicking his mood. She could not stand to see him like this. She tried to put her hand on his; he just moved it away quickly.

"Squall, please. I know it's hard, but we made a commitment to each other, don't let it be in vain. The day we exchanged vows..."

He only shook his head and interrupted her again, "I remember the day. There are things that no GF would ever make me forget."

A few moments of silence stood between them before he spoke again. "It's getting cold, go inside before you get sick. I need to go to my office and make some calls. We don't know if the information is to mislead us, it's not out of _her_ power."

"Are you coming back tonight?"

"No."

"Fine," she answered irritably. Again, moments of awkward silence passed. "It will be two years tomorrow."

"I know," he continued inhaling the cigarette and staring into the vast horizon.

"Squall, do you miss her?"

"Who?" he spat back, almost bitterly.

"Ellone, who else would...?" She didn't even finish the statement, she knew.

"Of course I do."

"Zell, Irvine, Selphie and I are planning a small service in the chapel tomorrow. Please find the time to come. I know it still hurts. It hurts all of us."

She tried to take a step closer.

"I'll try." Squall threw the second cigarette over the side. He turned and brushed by his spouse, like a stranger. Without saying another word, he picked up his uniform jacket and walked out the door.

She was his wife, for almost a year now, and yet he avoided her. The anguish inside was growing; the guilt was starting to eat away at her soul. Every day she found herself crying, alone. He sure as hell wasn't there. Incredible how little time Squall actually spent with her; it was an art he had mastered. If this was what she always wanted, why was she so goddamned miserable?

Quistis could not fight as the tears fell from her eyes.

* * *

**** 

* * *

**Chapter Two: Dissension **

Garden remained quiet as Squall reached his office and opened the large mahogany door. It was chilly inside, and he left it that way. He found the colder he kept the temperature, the less time people would stay. Call it a lesson in human behavior, or just an unspoken way of saying, "_get the hell out_." Psychology was not his major, but it was a learned trait in military strategy.

The room was dark, and he had no desire to turn on the lights. Walking over to the computer, he grabbed the ashtray that lay on a small entrance table. It was, by all means, going to be a long night. For a moment, the only sound in the room was his footsteps walking across the carpet to his desk. He sighed inwardly, and then turned on the main computer. The low hum of the machine gave him a certain type of comfort, one not given by humans.

Yes indeed, the council had already changed course. Astonishing how a bunch of corrupt politicians could run things from so far away in Deling City. Currently they were almost 200 kilometers southwest of Trabia, now headed due south. So much for checking in on Trabia Garden.

"Damn them." Squall slammed his fist on the wooden desk. He had to play their little games, and over the last two years, he had become good at _games_. He didn't like them. Politics wasn't something he preferred to deal with, but now he was a sitting member of the World Council. This remarkably, was made up of ninety percent Galbadian officials, five percent Estharian officials, and five percent 'world'.

He noticed the red light blinking on his phone. An incoming call at this hour was a rarity, and he debated letting it go into voice-mail. However, figuring it had to be an important message this time of night, and thanks to the emergency answering and paging systems, it would be rerouted to him within five minutes. Delaying answering would be just putting off the inevitable.

"Commander Leonhart speaking."

A voice came from the other end of the receiver. No introduction was necessary; it was Jefferson Mitchell, President of Deling and head of the World Council. Surprise.

"_Commander, good to hear you're still working this late, it is greatly appreciated. Your work ethic is to be commended_."

"Thank you, sir. I have been notified of the recent events, Garden is now on its way to Deling. At present speed, we shall arrive in two days' time. A brief stop tomorrow in Balamb for provisions is unavoidable."

"_I know, Mr. Leonhart. Your prompt return is what the council requests. We received reports, from a reliable source, that the sorceress was spotted in downtown Deling. We cannot be too careful, she is considered a war criminal and will be treated accordingly_."

"With all due respect President Mitchell, I know that. It has been two years since she initiated the attack on Garden. I know she is to face trial on murder, and my previous personal relationship with her will not affect my judgment on the situation."

"_Yes, Commander…tomorrow is the anniversary of your sister's tragic death. Time is fast becoming the issue at hand_."

"Ellone was no true blood relation, but a sister still the same." Even after two years, the next words cut like a knife every time they were spoken, "Sorceress Rinoa Heartilly should be held responsible for the death of Ellone Loire. I will find her for immediate trial."

"_I know. You have proven yourself on this matter in the past. Be careful_."

"Yes sir, always." Squall hung up the phone hastily, not even sure if the conversation was truly over, nor truly caring.

He sat staring at the hypnotic light of computer monitor for a few minutes, lost in an endless world of doubt. Picking up the phone again, he dialed an all too familiar number.

"It's Leonhart, we have received news _she's_ in Deling. Garden won't arrive until Tuesday, I want our man there tomorrow to investigate, and I'll triple his pay if he finds her first. The council is getting concerned about the time it's taking SeeD…I have no idea how much longer I can stall. If you find anything, call me on my private line, don't go through the Garden switchboard."

Squall hung up the phone, without saying another word, or allowing any type of reply from the other end. This was going to rip him apart yet.

"Sounds like someone isn't playing fair," a voice spoke from the dark abyss of the room.

Squall immediately grabbed his gunblade and raised it, ready for the confrontation. Something about the voice was familiar, yet he knew it couldn't be anyone presently at Garden.

"Who is there?" Squall shouted, "You are trespassing, and will be treated as a threat to SeeD."

"Come on _Puberty Boy_, I'm already a threat to SeeD." Seifer Almasy quipped as he flipped on the lights, blinding Squall momentarily.

The commander quickly jumped over the desk and pointed the blade of Lionheart to Seifer's neck, "One move you bastard, and you're dead."

"You know, this isn't the welcome I was hoping for. Where are the roses and wine?"

Squall was in no mood for mind games, "What the hell do you want?"

It had been five years since last they met, when Seifer decided to sacrifice _the sorceress_, to Adel. The blonde ex-knight looked almost the same, maybe a little worse for wear. It was obvious he had been through a few scuffles, but that was to be expected. He had all but fallen off the face of the planet, and for Squall's sake, that was a good thing. The last distraction he needed right now in his life was Seifer. The commander was a bit taken back at the emotion he felt, for although it was pure hate, it was the only true emotion he had experienced in ages.

"What do I want? I want you to stop pointing your little toy sword at my jugular for one."

"How do I know you're not going to try to kill me? You are still wanted by Garden for acts of betrayal five years ago. There is no statute of limitation on treason, Mr. Almasy"

"Make no mistake…there would be no '_try'_. I'm not going to kill you Leonhart, what fun would that be? We just were reacquainted. Then again, it was upsetting that I wasn't best man at the wedding. I didn't even get an invitation, suppose it was lost in the mail Commander Puberty."

"Shut up, Seifer."

For some unknown reason, the commander believed the man did not want to kill him. Visually confirming that Seifer wasn't carrying his weapon, Squall took the risk that he wouldn't pull a smaller, concealed one. Slowly, without breaking eye contact, he lowered his gunblade, keeping it out to silently emphasize his lingering distrust. That begged only the question, _why was he there_?

"So, married Quistis…never saw that one coming. How is dear _Instructor Leonhart_?"

"Fine. Now answer my question. Why the hell are you here?"

Seifer was the first to look away from their locked glare. Turning his back to Squall, he took a few steps and nonchalantly sat on the couch. The commander was growing more impatient by the second, mentally considering whether to raise arms and get this over with…once and for all.

"You're not going to believe me, even if I decide to tell you… Tomorrow's the anniversary of the invasion, that fact should be obvious to even you," Seifer paused waiting for a response, yet he didn't receive one, only one that was nonverbal. Squall continued his intent watch, never once taking his eyes off his life-long adversary, never once trusting him for a moment.

The cold, almost heartless stare, made Seifer surprisingly uncomfortable…before there had always been a hidden passion within his eyes, but now they just held an empty gaze. He decided to continue before Squall's patience gave way. "Information…I've been spending a few years underground in Deling, hanging out in places not listed with the visitor's bureau. Mitchell is stepping up the hunt for Rinoa, going on his own outside the council. But then again, from the phone call, so are you."

"I don't know what you're getting at, Mr. Almasy. Garden is the military force leading the hunt for _the sorceress_. That is my official and _only_ position."

"Right...you're Mitchell's _lapdog_. No offense."

"Is that what you came to do? Inform me of my job?"

Seifer stood up from the leather sofa and dared to take a step closer to Squall. "I'm here to help you find her before they do. Did you know Galbadian forces have been secretly ordered to shoot to kill first, and ask questions later?"

Seifer took yet another step closer, almost tauntingly, towards Squall. "You're running your own little investigation, I have my sources. In fact, there are currently four separate investigations I'm aware of for our little princess…the 'official' World Council's, President Mitchell's, and yours."

"You said four."

"Glad to see you can still count…I haven't figured out the fourth yet, or at least who is running the show. My first thoughts were Caraway or even Esthar… I have no concrete evidence on either, so thought maybe I'd ask the 'world savior' Leonhart…get it straight from the horse's mouth."

"Sorceress Heartilly is an enemy of all Gardens and the world, held responsible for the death of Ellone Loire. She is to be considered dangerous. If she shows any sign of resistance, shoot to kill," Squall recited verbatim as if reading a script, with no emotion.

"Shoot to kill? Listen to yourself, commander. Shit. Look me in the eyes and tell me that's what you believe, that she murdered Ellone in cold blood?"

Squall remained silent. For the first time since the unwanted encounter, he turned his back, breaking the eye contact. "Leave now," he stated vehemently. He put Lionheart back into the sheath and reached for the remaining cigarette of the pack. Before he had a chance to ignite, Seifer walked up behind him and grabbed it from his fingers. Squall quickly turned, as Seifer crushed it in his right hand. As he opened his fist, bits of smashed tobacco leaves trickled to the ground like brown snow.

"Don't you know _those_ things will kill you?"

Seifer turned and headed toward the door; Squall still stood motionless in front of his desk. Before the wanted man reached the doorknob, Squall only spoke one word.

"Why?"

Without facing the commander, Seifer replied, "Because I'm a Sorceress' Knight, because I've already made mistakes, because I must know the truth, and because I still care about what happens to _her_." He abruptly spun and reinitiated eye contact with Squall.

"Do you?"

After a moment of silence, a small smirk appeared on Seifer's face. "I thought so. By the way, put Fujin in a long dark wig, sunglasses, and then yell _sorceress_ in front of two SeeDs…amazing how reliable sources are born. I needed time."

Squall inhaled deeply, it was almost a relief. Walking around to the chair, he sat down and picked up a pile of papers. Tossing them to the side, he spoke without looking up, "Garden is docking at Balamb tomorrow for supplies. I might take an evening walk on the pier around six."

Seifer said nothing else, nor did Squall acknowledge his existence any further.

The commander sat at the oversized desk for what had to have been hours, without accomplishing any real tasks. All he had managed to do was shuffle documents from pile to pile, pretending to read memos. He was actually just skimming through the paperwork, and signing his name to hell knows what. The events of the evening kept replaying in his head. The only person he had to trust now…was the person he trusted least. _Irony was a fickle creature_. He paused to look at a picture of Ellone, realizing it was after midnight. It was the anniversary of her death and, in a way, also his.

* * *

Quistis lay alone in bed; she was always alone. When Squall did sleep with her, he always managed to turn away. She again found herself silently crying. Long blonde hair was sticking to her face, yet she didn't care. He was slowly pulling her down and she was starting to drown. Would he even notice? So much had happened in the last two years. Sometimes, she lay there trying to fit together pieces of the giant puzzle that was Squall Leonhart into place, but nothing ever fit. Only one thing seemed evident, she didn't seem to be part of it.

The day he asked for her hand in marriage should have been the happiest day of her life. Don't get it wrong, she was happy, but most of the emotion manufactured for the benefit of those around. Why did he even ask…if he never wanted her? Maybe she was just a second-rate substitute for what he really desired. She knew, who the hell around there didn't?

Being the ever-patient optimist, she accepted the proposal. Proposal? That term was truly stretching the happy event. Squall walked into the classroom with a sullen, even for him, expression covering his face. They had talked before that evening several times. Well she did, he only pretended to listen. At least she was not told to talk to a wall; although looking back now, there didn't seem to be much difference. No official dating before the offer, only one kiss, she initiated that. Maybe that's why the puzzle never fit. All Squall did was set a diamond ring on the desk. No words. In her heart, she knew he really didn't want this, but over time... Yes, time would solve everything. He would grow to show her the same passion, the same respect, as her.

Thinking of her, bile began to rise to her mouth. Guilt. Guilt sometimes consumed Quistis Trepe-Leonhart. Now on this second anniversary of her disappearance, the emotions were eating away at the instructor. Their problems weren't all Squall's fault, she admitted that to no one but herself. What would he mourn more today, the loss of Ellone or the loss of Rinoa? It was now his job, his duty to find her and carry out the execution. The World Council, even she knew, decided this fate long ago and there would be no trial of guilt or innocence. The torment Squall must go through every day, hunting her down like common prey, had to be slowly eating away at his soul. He too was drowning, she realized.

But, he would not accept the life preserver.

* * *

**** 

* * *

**Note:** For the sake of the story, I have made Trabia not only a Garden but also a city. It's about fifty kilometers from Trabia Garden, equal in size to Dollet. I know it wasn't in the game, but I needed a more secluded setting for later events.

**Chapter Three: Contention **

**__**The snow whipped around her face, bobbed hair not wanting to stay tucked behind almost frozen ears. It was the kind of cold that could kill you in minutes, if not properly dressed. Every breath felt like daggers in her lungs. Who ever said hell was hot? If one place on this planet came close, it was a snow-filled night in Trabia. Time passed slowly in the frigid temperatures. Judging by the wait, it had to be way past midnight now. Sneaking around in the unforgiving night could get her killed, or worse. The thought quickly slipped out of her mind as someone called out.

"Mrs. Bennett? Is that you?" A soft voice tried to whisper over the pounding wind.

"Alex. Stables. Now."

It was a small reply, but it was the only one her mind could muster as pellets of ice hit her face. The two figures wordlessly slipped into the stables. The building was dark, except for the reflection of the outside lights on the snow that shined through the window. It was warmer, if only by a little, yet the old structure offered an unfound feeling of security.

She took down the hood that did its best to protect her head from the elements. Short dark hair fell into her face. She quickly placed it behind her ears again.

"He's coming home tonight. This is all I have managed to get."

Alex took the tiny black pouch full of Gil and nodded her head in understanding.

"Mrs. Bennett, Renee…please…are you sure about _this_?"

"Yes, if you don't leave tonight, it might never be possible."

Renee undid the warm robe that covered her body. She had to be strong for both of them, yet her hands trembled in unspoken fear. Alex could slip into the world unnoticed, _safe_…hopefully. It had to be this way.

"He will kill you when he finds out. Richard Bennett is the worst son-of-a-bitch I've ever met. Wife or not, you're dead."

Renee closed her eyes and felt the cold take hold, "I know. This way she may live."

The shadowy figure finally lifted up the dark robe. There, a sleeping baby was beginning to stir.

"Alex, he is never going to rest until he finds his daughter and I'm sure the World Council will be at his disposal. You'll have to stay one-step ahead of them. Hyne be with you two."

Renee carefully handed the little girl over to Alex. With a loving kiss to the sleeping child, she disappeared into the stormy night.

Alex carefully covered the baby and headed out into the dark, into the unknown.

* * *

Morning came to Garden as any other day. Time somehow had little meaning anymore. He woke up at his desk, after falling asleep in his chair again. Squall figured that he spent more nights here than in his bed. Suddenly, a knock woke him from what lingering sleep may have remained.

"Squall?" He knew the voice, and was not in the mood for any type of lecture.

"Yes Quistis, it's open."

She appeared in the room wearing her formal SeeD uniform.

"We're going to the chapel at half past the hour, please come." She walked over to the desk and sat quietly on the corner. "Laguna is joining us for dinner this evening. He would really like to see you again."

"Yes, I'm sure _he_ would. Tell him I already have plans."

"Squall, what could be more important than trying to work things out with your only remaining relative?"

He looked coldly in her eyes. "Quistis, this is not the time. I have a prior engagement that cannot be changed. Send him my regards."

"Sure…I'll tell him."

She slid off the desk and walked quickly toward the exit. Turning around after reaching the door, she looked at Squall wishing he would at least think about the words that had been spoken. He didn't notice her, his attention engrossed in the computer. Quistis slammed the heavy door to the best of her ability.

* * *

The chapel was modest. Selphie had originally planned on large, beautiful roses filling the room. Then, after thinking of Ellone, she decided to make it simple. Ellone was never much for material possessions, simple yet elegant. Instead of vases everywhere, there was only a single red rose on the altar. Later in the day, they would be planting a tree in the Quad, dedicating it in her honor. It would be something that lived on and brought joy to others, that's what Ellone would want.

Selphie stood next to Irvine, his long hair now giving way to a short, trimmed look. It was one of the regulations Squall imposed as commander…stricter codes and guidelines: no long hair, no earrings, and no street-clothes in class. He truly had turned Garden into a military institution. Irvine was somewhat comforted by the fact Squall had cut his hair, and abstained from wearing his earring. Although he guessed, the commander couldn't have cared less about anything but war…fighting was all he lived for anymore. Thankfully, Irvine had passed the SeeD exam before _the incident_. That was when most of the requirements had changed, and the sharpshooter doubted he could make it under Squall's newer, stricter rules.

Irvine put his arm around Selphie, knowing very well that it broke one of the commander's cardinal rules about contact with the opposite sex. Rules made, in his opinion, to keep Squall from seeing people being happy. That was one thing that changed _that day_.

Selphie, herself, tried to keep the mood upbeat. She noticed Zell in the corner, lost within the beauty of the rose. Smiling, she remembered the first day they met. Times had changed, not for the better. She patted Irvine on the shoulder and then walked toward the lone figure. She had aged well, in fact almost too well. Little had changed with Selphie - a slight bit older, but still a youthful look well below her twenty-two years.

"Zell, want to come over and join us?" she asked as perky as possible.

"Selphie, why...Rinoa...why did…?" Zell questioned still staring at the flower.

"I don't know. But when we find her, maybe she can tell us."

"Why don't I _hate_ her like I should?"

"Maybe because she was one of us, nobody knew what her powers would be capable of making her do."

"I suppose. Something just bothers me about this. I don't know what."

"It's been two years. Why are you questioning things now, Zell?"

"I don't know. I've been having these dreams about Rinoa..."

"The Sorceress," everyone turned around to see Squall standing at the chapel door. "Zell, she is to be referred to as _the Sorceress_. The other person you spoke of is dead to Garden." He walked to the altar and looked at the rose.

"I'm here to show my respect for Ellone, not to talk about anything or _anyone_ else, understood?"

The martial artist stood straight up and acknowledged his superior. Heels clicked on the tile floor as the group, save for Squall, turned to watch Quistis enter the room. Irvine strolled over to the commander's wife, offering his arm. Together, they walked down the aisle to the front pews.

The service, if called that, was very short and very informal. The four just talked, or listened to stories of Ellone. Reliving tales each had heard before, yet never seeming to get tired of. Squall sat lost in his own world, until a younger SeeD interrupted Zell's story.

"Commander, I apologize for bothering you in this personal time. I have President Mitchell on the phone. He states that it's urgent."

"Understood." Squall stood up and excused himself from the memorial.

* * *

Arriving in his office, he quickly grabbed the phone. The idea that these fools might actually find the sorceress was unsettling. "Commander Leonhart speaking."

_"Squall, I am sorry for bothering you during the service, but the council has urgent need for qualified SeeDs." _

"The Sorceress?"

_"No, not this time._ _ One of the council members, a Trabian delegate, had his daughter kidnapped last night. Normally, I really wouldn't worry too much about such a trivial thing, but we need his support. You see commander, the exporting of petroleum from his country is very important to the upper-members of Galbadia. It could mean millions of Gil for the exclusive rights." _

"_What a fucking bastard,_" Squall thought while trying to mask his anger. This guy was worried about oil when a child had just been abducted. This is slowly what he was turning into, one of _them_.

"Mr. President, what information do you have on the girl?"

_"I guess that when Bennett and his wife woke up this morning the baby was missing. Suspiciously enough, his personal assistant didn't show up for work today. She had been employed by him for just over two years, and never missed a day." _

"Why don't you notify the Trabian Garden? They could get SeeDs there much quicker than Balamb."

_"I have. They are doing the initial investigation until your SeeDs are deployed. We want to show Mr. Bennett that his daughter deserves the best…everyone knows that is Balamb." _

Squall sighed inwardly. First, dealing with the sorceress, and now sending his SeeD personnel to look for a baby, when Trabia was more than capable.

"What further information do you have on this case?"

_"The assistant's name is Alexandra Williams, twenty-six, no children. Only known family member lives in Fisherman's Horizon, an aunt I believe." _

"Fine, I will have two of my top SeeDs start searching FH. We will be nearing Balamb in approximately an hour. I will send them on from there. What information do you have on the child?"

_"Just that she is fourteen months old, her name is Allison - goes by Ally." _

"Allison...Sir?"

_"Yes Squall. Are you all right?" _

"Sorry, just lost my train of thought reading a memo. Allison."

* * *

Renee stood looking out of her window to the frozen trees, watching as hunks of snow fell from the weight on the limbs, never doubting her decision. Allison would have a better chance with Alexandra and the cold, rather than with the wolves in here. How she continued living with this _animal_ for years she couldn't imagine… Richard Bennett was possibly the most evil person she had ever met, and she knew quite a few.

What was so criminal about him was the way he took control. When she first met him outside a restaurant, he seemed to be the answer to her prayers: kind, sweet, and almost a loving someone who would make a good father. He was a sly one If it hadn't been for Ally, she would have given up on life way before now, but now…Ally was gone. Before long, she would be too. Richard would find out of her involvement, one way or another…she was dead. It was just a matter of time.

It had_ always _been a matter of time.

She looked into the mirror as tears started rolling down her pale face. She tried not to hate the world around her, but it was so damn hard. A few years ago, nobody would have controlled her as Richard had. She let him, if only for basic survival. If he knew the truth…Ally would just be a pawn, dispensable to him, a device for keeping her under control. Now she would be in control again. Who the hell was Renee Bennett anyhow? She vowed to herself never to be weak again...even if it meant being strong enough to die.

* * *

Garden had reached Balamb on schedule. Squall excused himself from the building, giving some false excuse about personally checking on supplies. The idea of meeting with the old rival still seemed unsettling, and yet now the notion had become a reality. Trusting the one that had thrown _her_ to Adel was surreal, but in his mind, he had been just as guilty as Seifer. He had been the one who allowed her to tag along, when all better judgment was telling him not to. Looking back, it was all for selfish reasons, as he had been attracted to her from the start, even if he wouldn't admit it at the time. So attracted in fact that he had allowed her to get in harms way, and that was only part of the torment he lived with. If he had just had the strength to say _no,_ she would be living a happy, normal life right now and not fearing the world or trying to take it over - Squall didn't know which was happening. Tortured by memories, he continued down to the path to the Balamb coast.

"Yo, _Commander Puberty, _over here!" Squall recognized the voice this time.

"Cut the shit, what do you know?" spat the commander, obviously aggravated. Seifer motioned to a building in the distance. The two walked to a small, abandoned fishing shack.

"I know that if you don't want Rinoa's head on a stick, _you_ better find her first."

"You're not helping," he growled.

"Sorry… Look, I have to know exactly what happened that day. Tell me your side of the story, it may be important," Seifer replied with seeming sympathy.

Squall shook his head. He had tried so long to forget everything that had happened two years ago... This would be the first time he had actually spoken of it since giving his official report. He knew it was time. He found a corner wall and leaned against it, closing his eyes.

"Two years ago today..."

* * *

* * *

**Chapter Four: Engagement **

Squall stared at his old nemesis, with a look Seifer could not construe. The expression, the best the former knight could decipher, was a mix of disgust, contempt, and betrayal. The commander took out his cigarettes, retrieved one from the pack, slowly lit the tip and inhaled deeply.

"The day started normally, that morning the _sorceress_ and I had been arguing. She had been in a god-awful mood since the prior week, and we had fought the evening before. She was bitching about the amount of time I spent at work, and I told her that my job was vital to the interests of the world, and I couldn't shop all day spending daddy's money. Hyne was she pissed, the little princess didn't say one damn word to my face…just stormed away. The last words I ever heard her express were '_go to hell Squall_'. Her wish came true."

"Around nine that morning, Quistis came storming in…slamming her hand on my desk and complaining about Rinoa. It seems that the two had an argument just before she arrived in my office. From what I heard later, they were pretty close to making it physical. Rinoa backed down, ending up saying a few 'choice' words to the instructor, warning her to stay away from me. Quistis wanted her brought up on charges by the disciplinary committee. I dismissed the complaints, although, at that moment, there would've been nothing better than to put Rinoa in her place."

Seifer found a rusty chair and moved it closer, as Squall continued to lean on the rotting wall. Never interrupting the commander's train of thought, he listened to every syllable that his companion uttered, like an eager child.

"Believe it or not, that was the last _normal_ conversation I remember having. As Quistis left the office, I head screams echo throughout the hallways. I reached for my gunblade, ready for anything. When I neared the emergency stairs, there was a large flash of red…grenades. Several detonated at once, causing massive structural damage. The explosion knocked me down half a flight of stairs, rendering me unconscious. I estimate being out for around two minutes. _Two minutes_ I wish were never stolen from my life."

"I regained consciousness, and continued down the stairwell until I reached the bottom. As I opened the fire door, I was greeted by Galbadian soldiers far as the eye could see. The blue and silver armor was blinding from the sun reflecting off the metal uniforms. They were good – _damn good_, and not the inexperienced ones from Vinzer Deling's reign. These men were trained under General Mitchell, a true military man who studied war techniques in his sleep. After a long battle with one of the soldiers, I noticed several people gathered off to the side. There was Quistis, kneeling beside a limp figure. I barely recognized her through the blood…it covered her entire body. When I got closer, I could tell the body on the ground was Ellone."

Squall eyes glazed over as he spoke of the incident, refusing to cry or show any undue emotion. He spoke in an informative, monotone voice. Pausing for a moment, he tossed the cigarette butt to the grime-covered floor. He then balled his right hand into a tight fist, as he continued reliving the horrible day that he had spent so long trying to forget.

"A SeeD, a cadet I believe, was the first to speak aloud."

"_Commander we will avenge her death in the name of SeeD, Sorceress Heartilly shall pay with her life._"

"_Her life_, the words just echoed through my head with the force of a hurricane. He saw the confusion on my face and continued his explanation."

"_Ellone was murdered in cold blood by the sorceress, these soldiers are her men. Galbadia and the sorceress joined forces, like in years past._"

"I watched Quistis as she sat gently rocking Elle's lifeless corpse. The tears were rolling down her face, mixing with the dark hues of blood that covered the person we knew as our 'Sis'. So much blood from Ellone...so much fucking blood."

"I had to get confirmation, I looked at Quistis again…she nodded slightly, returning her gaze to Ellone. For the first time in minutes, surroundings made their presence known to me. SeeDs continued fighting for their lives, for the survival of Balamb Garden. I assessed the situation, and knew I had to continue to fight. I didn't want to…_I had to_. Details would be sorted out later, I just had to live to hear them."

"Fifty-four SeeDs perished that day. The Galbadian troops withdrew for an unknown reason, leaving us to fully see the damage to Garden. One fourth of the building had to be rebuilt after the battle, millions of Gil in damage. But Gil will never replace those who died. _She_ planned it, waited for the perfect moment to strike. Absolute power corrupts…even the most innocent can't ignore its call for long."

Squall paused, noticing his fists. His palms were bloody from the tips of his nails piercing his flesh, not realizing the harm he was causing his own body. Over the years, he learned to thrive on pain.

Seifer tried to hold back the wetness forming in the folds of his eyes. "How Squall? How was Ellone killed?"

"_Stabbed_…stabbed through the chest with a dagger. The sorceress needed the power that Ellone possessed. It had been an obsession with the others before her. How one not a descendent of Hyne could posses such abilities. _They_ feared her."

Seifer was barely audible, his voice unsure and hoarse, "Why? Why would Rinoa wait three years then attack? What time did she have to train armies while attending classes at Garden?"

"She stayed here and relayed messages via computer or other means, we're not sure. She knew Garden's routines and learned our weaknesses, what better way of studying your enemy – live among them. General Mitchell was later able to break the spell _Sorceress Heartilly_ had put him under. He was the first knight able to do that without _his_ sorceress being slain."

Seifer questioned the last statements, now they were getting into a territory in which he had experience. "Mitchell was her knight? What did that make you?"

"A fool," Squall riposted without hesitation. "A damned fool. Mitchell was able to break the enchantment and rally troops against _her._ It came out later she had a prior relationship with him, though she was twenty years his junior. Guess her weekend trips to Galbadia weren't all to see dear-old daddy," Squall spat with more than a trace of bitterness.

"Jefferson Mitchell? Squall, you want me to believe that Rinoa and Mitchell were sexually involved? The same man who is now President, leader of the World Council? Is this what you truly believe? She used you for no more than a pawn to rule with your so-called absolute power?"

Squall closed his eyes, and in a voice unlike anything Seifer had heard before from his rival, he pleadingly answered.

"I don't want to believe it… Quistis, herself, witnessed the sorceress stab Ellone. I would have never believed her capable…Rinoa was supposed to be the innocent one I was sworn to protect her. I should have been there to protect people from her. She had all but warned me with her recent actions, I didn't get the connection until after the attack. We haven't seen or heard from her since that day; she vanished without a trace. Mitchell has personally sworn to kill her, for all she tricked him into doing, and the lives she is responsible for taking."

Seifer was silently taking in all the information. No matter how he tried to calculate it in his head, some unknown factor didn't add up.

"So, Squall if you 'do' side with the all-knowing President, why are you searching her out on your own?"

"Answers, I want answers. Did she act alone or was someone controlling her mind? Was it her will that brought devastation to Garden? They will kill her without so much as a single question. For what insignificant peace of mind it may offer: _I_ _need to know why_."

Seifer pulled out a manila folder from his filth-covered trench coat. He opened up the dossier and shuffled through the paperwork that lay inside.

"Here, I have a present for you. These are both the _official_ and _unofficial_ reports that I located in Mitchell's office."

Squall raised an eyebrow, reaching for the folder.

"In his office?"

The flaxen haired man tilted two legs of the chair off the floorboards, leaned back, and smirked.

"Covert operations are my specialty, thanks to Garden and the teaching of your lovely wife. By the way, will you ever tell me how that one worked out? I'm sure there is an _enthralling_ story in there somewhere."

Squall appeared displeased by the arrogance, but still answered his rival's inquiry, "I married her, what else is there to tell?"

"Oh just the fact that you couldn't have cared less for Quistis romantically for the last twenty-two years. Then conveniently, Rinoa vanishes and you marry the instructor. Did you ever notice her beauty or were you just trying to find a decent substitute to conquer? Remarkable how fast the callous, heartless Mr. Leonhart falls in love. You do _love_ her, don't you Squall?"

"Seifer that is none of your concern, you're crossing the line now." Squall countered with a tone increasing in volume.

"I know we have had our differences in the past. Hell, I would've sold your soul for a measly couple of Gil. Believe me, five years is a long time to think about one's mistakes, events, emotions playing repeatedly in your mind… The last thing you feel at night and the first thing you feel at dawn, but I don't have to tell you that Commander Leonhart, do I? You live with the same pain and anguish I suffer everyday. _I know you_. We are the same, just taken different paths to reach the same destination. You're no better than I am, you hide behind titles and politics, but I feel pain the same as you, Squall. We don't allow ourselves to be happy; it's not our nature. Unfortunately, on our way down the self-destructive path we walked upon, we decided to drag innocents along. Quistis and Rinoa are casualties of this war we waged in our minds; they are, in fact, our collateral damage. The best we can do…is to not totally obliterate them in the process, which we have failed to prevent on both accounts. Again Mr. Leonhart, I'm asking the question, do you or have you ever loved your wife?"

Squall said nothing. Seifer was getting too close on a touchy subject, and no matter the answer he said aloud, his rival already knew the answer that materialized in Squall's heart. The commander decided that silence would be his best option.

"Squall, you haven't answered Seifer's question?" A troubled voice inquired.

Both men turned to face the door rapidly, as Quistis' silhouette was visible through the broken doorframe.

* * *

Renee sat on her bed, knees to her chest. She was anxiously awaiting any word from Alexandra, although she knew that none would ever come. Contact would be excessively risky, especially with all the police and officials snooping around the house. She held a picture of Ally in her lap; memories would be all she had from then on. Fragments of memories were already the only thing she had left on so many different accounts.

Richard had been no less the bastard today. She tried to cry but the pain was too intense for her newly bruised ribs – Richard was nobody's fool. Members of his staff had seen her leaving the house last night, and he could add two plus two. The only thing she couldn't figure out is 'why' he hadn't turned her in already. No mention of this was made to police, only the fact that Alex absconded with his daughter. In private, however, it was a different story. He, in fact, went out of the way to keep her from the authorities, flatly refusing to let her be questioned.

She held her knees tighter, rocking back and forth on the bed. Thoughts of the first day she met him circled in her head. He seemed so pleasant, but that façade soon fell apart. It wasn't like her to sleep with a man on the first night, but desperate times called for desperate measures. She needed him, if only for survival. It wasn't impossible to get pregnant after one encounter, right? She could tell by his demeanor that he would take care of his responsibility – she betted on it. It truly was the worst day of her life, as she sold everything she had…including her dignity. Now, two years later, everything would end. The ironic thing was…she wasn't sure if she was pleased or sad with the outcome.

Time was the only factor now. Suddenly, a loud car door slammed causing her to get off the bed. Walking over to the frosted window, she looked down to confirm her worst fear. _SeeD_. The council had brought them into the investigation. Trabia was no more than a working class oil town, consisting of only two classes of residents - the thousands of blue-collar workers who labored hard everyday for their money, and the few that profited off them. Her husband was the latter.

World affairs were almost non-existent here. That was the first thing that drew her to this frozen wasteland. The second was the ship she boarded, hiding within the cargo bay. Now the world would be catching up with them, or more precisely, _her_. She peered out the window, noticing the vehicle had the markings of Trabia Garden.

That was a comfort; at least it was not Balamb.

* * *

* * *

**Chapter Five: Divergence **

The commander and the instructor stared at one another, not as husband and wife, not as friends, not even as casual acquaintances, but as adversaries thrown upon the battlefield of life. Neither Squall nor Quistis was willing to acknowledge the company of another intruding on a far too personal of moment, even if the intruder was Seifer.

Seifer, for his part, was a little more than uncomfortable in his role as third-wheel in the marital problems. Though his former rival, Squall still had gained enough respect to have his personal life remain _personal_. On the other hand, curiosity always seemed to kill the cat, and Seifer was purring internally. The idea of exiting the shack was fleeting; the show would be far too entertaining.

Quistis entered the room by a few steps, "Squall can you hear me or have you mysteriously lost your comprehension for the English language? _Do you love me_? Seems like a simple enough question, doesn't it? Or would you like to go consult your 'cold-blooded friend' slithering there in the corner, on what the correct answer may be?"

She started involuntarily twisting long hair around her fingers, a habit she had picked up when nervous. Nervous, was that really the correct word? No, she wasn't _nervous_ about the answer, she subconsciously knew it, she was more _nervous_ that he wouldn't admit the truth. Lying had become second nature to him.

"Quistis don't do this here, now. It's not the time," Squall calmly replied to his wife.

"Oh yeah, _sorry_," she spat back. "I see how busy you are right now. Let's see can I pencil you in for next week, let's say Tuesday…is that good for you? I wouldn't want to interrupt your little reunion here. Hyne Squall, you do realize that is Seifer don't you? Remember the guy who tried to kill us, destroy Garden, and end all known life with time-compression. Asshole of the world, that Seifer?"

"You're looking, _and sounding_, as well as ever Mrs. Instructor. Glad to see you too," Seifer stood, nodding his head toward her.

"Go to hell Seifer, this is between me and my husband."

Seifer took the moment to study Quistis for the first time in almost five years. Older, yes, but somehow she carried the age well. No longer with awkward teenage mannerisms, she seemed more beautiful than he remembered. Her golden blonde hair had grown in length, no longer pulled up, as wispy strands would cover her face in the light breeze. She looked more the angel than human, the sun behind her giving her a heavenly light. Seifer shook himself from whatever thoughts he was currently having. Noticing the instructor was something he hadn't expected, and just as quickly, tried to put it out of his mind. Unsure of his sudden realizations, he felt the need to quickly get away from the situation.

"I'm leaving." He stood up and walked passed the commander, handing him a small yellow piece of paper.

Squall eyed the man as he left the building, and then returned his gaze to the person standing in front of him.

"Quistis, I…I don't know what you want to hear right now."

"How about the_ truth_ Squall, you do remember that?"

"You're asking if I love you. Sure, I love you." He looked at her hoping that answer would satisfy.

"Damn you Squall. This is just some big game to you, isn't it?"

Quistis could no longer hold back the tears she was trying desperately to restrain. They slowly trailed down her ivory skin.

"Tell me the fucking truth for once in your pathetic life."

Squall turned his back. Somehow, it would be less personal if he didn't have to look her in the eyes. He knew this conversation would be coming, honestly from the day he gave her the ring. Quite frankly, he was surprised it had lasted this long, maybe it was easier living the lie that was his life. Now too much might be said, not only to Quistis, but also to himself. The parts of his memories and feelings he tried greatly to repress, to forget, for so long would resurface causing deeper wounds. He walked over to a small window and peered out. Hoping for some clarity on the situation, but like the window, the current state of affairs was just as hazy.

"Quistis, I do love you."

Squall paused trying his best not to make the moment worse.

"No, I'm not _in love_ with you now, nor have I ever been. I'm sorry."

"Well since you're sorry everything is okay then. The almighty, god-like Squall Leonhart is sorry and that makes everything right. _Quistis, I don't love you. I'm sorry to marry you and everything. It was just a few big misunderstandings - that love, honor, and cherish thing just slipped right over my big head. Guess I was too busy saving the world and playing god to realize what I was saying. Hope you didn't take your vows seriously or anything, I sure as hell didn't._"

Quistis couldn't stand, falling to her knees. She watched shed tears mix with the years of dust on the floor.

Squall still stood looking out the window. Human nature was telling him to go to his wife. Learned instinct was telling him to give her this time to digest the information. He finally turned and saw her kneeling on the ground. He had to try to explain, Quistis deserved that at the very least.

"Quistis I know you're not going to understand, hell if I even do, but I have to try. Please let me try."

Squall walked over to the distressed figure, setting the folder on the floor. He went down to his knees, trying to look his wife directly in the eyes.

"Why Squall? Why if you didn't love me…did you marry me, why didn't you ever love me?" Quistis was pleading with him for hopes of any understanding.

He attentively placed one hand on her shoulder, in aspirations of calming her down.

"If there is only one thing you get from this conversation, let it be that I never _wanted_ to hurt you. Things were out of control after Ellone died, I didn't even know what or where I was half of the time. I needed to get married and…" The next words would seem so cruel, yet they were the truth and that is exactly what Quistis had wanted. "I needed a wife quickly. I knew you were in love with me. I used those feelings against you. I'm sorry you were just the easiest person to…"

He never had the opportunity to finish the sentence before he felt the sting of her hand across his face.

Quistis stood up and looked down at him, as he held his hand to his now inflamed face. "Go find the bitch, you two _deserve_ each other. Just don't ever get near me again, you bastard!"

* * *

Selphie entered the cafeteria searching for Quistis. Getting frustrated on a quest that so far turned up nothing, she decided to rest, and took a lemonade break. At the cash register paying for her drink, she noticed Zell sitting in a lone corner of the sparsely populated cafeteria. Miraculously without any food, a very un-Zell like move. As she quietly approached his table, she glanced to notice several library books scattered about the surface. Extraordinary she mused…she had never actually _seen_ Zell with a book, much less _reading _a book. Combat King Magazines were the closet he came to the actual art of understanding the written word.

She grabbed the metal frame of a chair occupying the same table. As it scuffed the linoleum tile, Zell recognized he was no longer alone. He realized she might have the ability to help, where the research books failed. Selphie actually might be capable of giving him new insight on his dilemma.

"Zell…um you look so stressed. Are you all right? I've just never seen you actually studying books, yet alone so intensely. Something about Elle bothering you from earlier?"

"Well, kind of… Hey is Laguna here yet?" He shut the book and laid it face down on his lap.

"No, he got held up in Esthar. Squall didn't want to see him anyhow, don't think he'll be hurrying to arrive. A helicopter should be dropping him off sometime later tonight. He's just going to stay until we arrive in Deling for the World Council meeting tomorrow."

"Ah yeah…can I talk to you for a few minutes? Please don't say anything to anybody else."

"Sure Zell anything, is there something wrong? Are you sick?"

"No, no nothing like that. Remember before when I talked about the strange dreams." He lowered his voice to a whisper saying the words like breaking a sacred law, "_About Rinoa._" Selphie nodded her head, acknowledging her comrade. "I've had this dream more than once. I'm just trying to interpret the meaning." He held up his reference book on understanding dreams.

Selphie took a sip of her pink lemonade, "Do you want to tell me about it? Maybe there is something that book wouldn't relate to our particular situation. I know pretty much everything about your background, maybe I can help."

"Okay Selphie, but it's upsetting to talk about."

Zell lowered his head not looking at her as he began _describing_ the _indescribable_.

"It starts with a gorgeous…er…view of Balamb Plains, only there is a translucent blue lake in the middle. I find myself walking up to the lake and notice what looks like bones of human fingers sticking out. I want to run from it, yet some unknown force keeps pulling me closer. My eyes are still on the slender fingers, transparent water gives an outline of bones, a now human form. Before I can make out anything else, I feel small raindrops on my skin. My focus turns from the tranquil water to my arm. I see the raindrops as they hit my skin, except there is a slight tint of red to them. I continue watching my arm as the red goes from a faint hue to a darker burgundy. All of a sudden, it starts pouring down blood from the sky."

Selphie sat mesmerized at Zell's ability to reiterate the nightmare, including the emotion he was undoubtedly reenacting. He continued slowly, "Suddenly the cerulean sky turns to a deep scarlet, giving the plains a kind of surreal feel. I redirect my eyes to the lake. The figure slowly starts rising out of the now bloody water. First, it is only the hand. When it materializes, I notice the ring finger. On it is a smaller, more delicate version of the Griever ring this one of pure gold. Slowly the rest of her body emerges from the thick liquid. Layers of muscles start forming over the bones, followed by layers of skin. It is Rinoa, older by a couple years. She wears a pure white robe that has not one drop of blood on it. She has shorter, darker hair apparent grief and misery shown clearly on her face. She then looks into my eyes and says…_help_. Not as a demand, but said as a desperate plea. I take a step closer to her and suddenly a bright flash blinds me temporarily. I regain my focus and she is holding what appears to be a baby. Again, I dare to venture closer and then another light flashes, but this one not nearly as bright." Zell closed his eyes trying to fight back the tears.

"What? Zell, what happened?" Selphie couldn't help but be drawn into the horrifying events.

"The infant, the infant is dead. It has a knife through its heart, blood dripping into the lake."

"Rinoa, Rinoa killed the baby?" she demanded.

"No, I never saw who put the dagger through the baby. But, I can tell you it wasn't Rinoa…the expression of horror on her face as she looks towards me. Her brown eyes plead with me to help, without a word. I then step into the bloody lake; as I get closer, she drops the infant into the dark water. At first, I can't figure out why and then I see the silver sword exit through her stomach. She looks down to the blade, then back to my eyes. We both realize at that moment, it was a gunblade that pierced her frame. For the first time, with all the blood flying around, her white robes become stained with blood, _her blood_. Rinoa then falls forward into the lake. I race to grab her body, but only manage to capture a hand. I can't hold on for some unknown reason, the wind starts picking up. The thick bloody-rain stings my eyes. Finally, I lose my grasp on her boney white fingers, as they fall through my hand. Yet, I still feel something in my palm. I look down and see a small golden Griever ring. With all my might, I make a fist around it…refusing to lose the one piece I have left. I wade back to the shoreline and sit on the wet grass. Again, another brilliant light appears and I look back at the lake, still blood red but with no rain. This time there is another figure standing in the water…_it is Ellone_."

Selphie snapped her mind back to her environs, aware that Zell had stopped relaying the gruesome nightmare. "Sis…what happened to her?" She demanded in a tone heard by many around.

Zell inhaled for a moment, then again hesitantly continued, "Actually, she is _covered_ in blood, and at first I don't recognize her, until she _smiles_."

"Smiles?"

"Yeah, that is almost the most disturbing part of the dream, she smiles. I couldn't hear what she says, nor do I believe she actually has the ability to speak. But I can read her lips as she mouths the word - she says the word _goodbye_. Then a final blinding ashen light and everything returns to normal, it's peaceful. The green fields and crystal blue lake return…not one cloud in the sapphire sky. Yet…I still hold on to the small golden ring."

"Zell, how many times have you had this dream, _nightmare_?"

"Well, over the last two months it has been numerous times, it gets more vivid with every encounter. I wake up feeling scared and anxious right after it ends, amazingly the clock always reads the same time…4:27am."

"Zell, I think you might know this, but nothing you discover in those books is going to help. What about talking to Matron concerning the visions?"

"Visions? No, it is a _dream_, a nightmare at most. Anything but a vision," he stated defensively.

Selphie moved closer, putting her arm around his shoulder. "Zell we both know this is something more. Maybe, just maybe, it can benefit us if we can fully understand."

He nodded in agreement, moving away from Selphie's caring touch. He gathered the books and notes, giving her a wry smile, "You win Selphie. I'll talk to Edea when we reach Deling."

* * *

Vivid dreams are a lesser-known curse for any sorceress, yet one that could have explained the fall of those who came before; dreams so real it is hard to distinguish fantasy from reality. Emotions, feelings, and sensations so definite it could drive one to the brink of sanity, which in fact, it almost had.

Times like these one could understand the dissolutions of Ultimecia or Adel, dream worlds where perfection could only survive and seem to be the perfect Eden. Sometime the lines of day or night, asleep or awake, and real or imaginary are completely blurred. Forgetting ones self, ones beliefs…reality is easily twisted and shaped by those around. Dreams always show perfection. More than ever she could understand the need for a knight, not only to protect her spirit, but also soul and mind.

When she dreamed she could still feel his touch, his skin upon hers, his lips softly caressing all parts of her body, the love that they had shared in so many ways. The dreams felt real, if only in her head. The way that he was holding her _now_, the closeness she felt when she listened to his heartbeat. The way he was looking at her now, the unbridled passion in his eyes. His beautiful steel blue…wait…his brown eyes looking at her? The way he was holding her…no, hitting her? She grabbed her ribs as the pain started to register, waking her out of the magnificent daydream.

"Where is she you damn bitch, where is my daughter?"


	2. Contradiction, Encounter, Tension, Variance, and Quarrel

**Chapter Six: Contradiction **

"Richard?" she gasped in confusion, still holding her tender side.

"Who the hell else would I be, _Renee_?" Grabbing her arm, he spat back, "Let me put it this way, I don't care. I don't honestly care what happens to _you_. Personally, I don't even care what happens to Allison, but I need her. I can't look like the _good_ family man without my dear, sweet little girl. The people of this town, and of course the council, are going to feel sorry for the poor single father after his wife dies. Oh, that's right, you've had your little _illness_ for too long now, seems like it's going to take a turn for the worse."

"Illness…dies?" she questioned.

"Do you honestly think that I could have made it this far without some kind of cover story? What you want me to tell the public that my wife is a psychotic murderer? You don't think you can just seduce me one night, get pregnant, and take me for a fool, do you? I'm not like the others living in this god-forsaken town. I actually can read the newspaper. I had to tell those people some reason they never saw you. So you mysteriously became very ill after the wedding. Now they all pity my situation and will do anything I ask. That's the irony of this little situation, my dear wife…you thought you were playing me, when I was the one playing you."

She said nothing, just watched the man in front of her. Man, this was no man. He was just a beast like the rest of them. If ever she had wanted to kill someone in cold-blood, this would be it.

"Cute Renee, very cute – then again you always have been, right _Renee_? As I see it, after I find Ally I'll have all the power I could possibly want. Because you'll do anything to keep her from harm…even if that means using your power."

He grabbed her free arm and threw her down onto the bed.

"You turned yourself into a little whore that first night, one more fuck for old time sake," Richard Bennett spat. He managed to grab her, holding both arms in one hand, while the other ripped at the buttons on her shirt.

For some time the will to fight within her was gone, before it was the safety of Ally in the next room. She remembered that first night with Richard way too well, and the guilt that still tormented her soul to this day. Yes, she had indeed been calculating that night. The one thing she hadn't thought in all her planning was a name. Of course that was the first thing Richard asked the '_shy girl'_ outside the restaurant. She had started speaking, "Rin…Renee, Renee Davidson." Sad, the last name she came up with was actually from the billboard advertising the nightly news anchors. She had been running for almost a week at that time, needed food, and shelter badly…badly enough to sell her soul and her body.

Allison, her little Ally, she had to find her before Richard or his men did. Even if that meant risking herself out there, in a world, she hadn't been a part of for two years, but anything would be better than in here. Everything, every emotion was coming back to her now. She for the first time in so long, remembered _who_ _she really was_. The cloudiness in her mind was slowly clearing. Richard's attention had now turned, attempting to undo her jeans. Looking at him, she smiled almost callously. He stopped at her sudden change of attitude, fearing the look on her face, and his now sudden loss of control of the situation.

A blinding white light filled the room. Richard felt a sudden tightening in his chest. Releasing the tight grip he held her, he rolled to his back, holding his hand over his heart. She got up and started buttoning her shirt. Looking over the man on the bed, she reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet, stuffing the contents into her pants.

She looked him straight in the eye, "I don't think we have been properly introduced…my name is Rinoa Heartilly. Guess what, _I'm a sorceress, _but don't worry I'm not going to kill you. You'll just be out of commission for a few days. But if you ever think of touching Allison or me again, you won't be so lucky. Nice meeting you, thanks for the room and board for the past two years."

Rinoa took a deep breath and walked to the door. SeeD was still downstairs, and being caught really wouldn't help the situation right now…

* * *

Four hours had past since his return, Squall sat leaning back in his desk chair. For the first time in ages, even work could not keep him out of his secluded world. His mind kept racing with events, circumstances, and individuals. Some of which he had tried desperately to forget. Earlier actions from the day still plagued his mind; he had never wanted to hurt Quistis, but it was a decision made long ago and one he tried not to reflect upon. Hell, if he had it his way, he would have never been married, or touched another woman again. But some decisions were not his to make. Other lives were at stake.

It had happened modestly enough, working in his office one afternoon. Cid had been staying in Deling helping with the establishment of the World Council. Something in Squall's personal opinion only created to destroy Rinoa. Cid ventured to Garden one day and told of Mitchell's run for president, and his unfounded desire to chair the council. According to polls, there would no way Mitchell could lose. People loved how he had risen past the control of a sorceress and his intense commitment to locate her. His only other competition would have been General Caraway, and circumstances had taken Caraway quickly out of the race.

One of Mitchell's greatest concerns, according to Cid, was Squall being commander of the strongest and most well trained Garden. Squall had a personal stake in finding the sorceress, as it was public knowledge they had been involved. Cid suggested, more like _ordered_, Squall to find _someone_ to ease the conscious of the community, mainly Mitchell. Doing so would imply that he had moved on, leaving his commission intact. Thus, it allowed him to oversee any or all attempts made to find the sorceress.

Looking back on the situation, Squall came to the realization he would have done about anything to ensure his position as commander, moreover, to ensure the locating of the sorceress. Even after two years, Rinoa still lay first on his mind, her safety and her well-being. Even though he knew, that she may _never_ have returned those feelings.

Quistis was entirely different situation. He used her love to his advantage, and for that, he felt remorse. Ever since Rinoa moved to Garden, the two girls had their differences. They were, in Squall's opinion, still acquaintances, but only when the issue didn't include him. Most of the time he believed Rinoa was very protective of their relationship, sometime to a point of aggravation to him and those nearest to them.

Now questions of her _true_ intent entered his mind, dancing like flames on his soul. If the possessiveness of the relationship was not love, what in fact was it? Even after all the information, intelligence, and reports he had received about _the sorceress_ and Mitchell, something didn't _feel_ right. He had to find the truth. He needed answers. The only person with that ability, to put his conscience at ease, was Rinoa. Even if the answers she gave were not the ones he wanted to hear.

Squall again stared at the reports Seifer had given him earlier that day. The official copy to the World Council and that the Garden had received seemed identical to the human eye. Although the reports themselves were over twenty-five pages, Squall could not see any noticeable difference between the accounts.

There was also a first draft contained in the folder from Seifer, it too seemed no different from the others. Squall reached for the scanner and started to put both copies into the computer. Word for word comparisons would take only a few seconds after the data had been entered. He sat memorized at the flicker of the monitor, for a brief second his thoughts turned back to Quistis and her welfare at this moment. His feelings were interpreted by a knock on the door.

"Commander, may I come in a minute?" The tone sounded hesitant.

Squall knew the voice immediately as that of Zell, this was probably going to be one of those 'Quistis-related-issues' he couldn't even think about facing right now. Against his better judgment, he instructed the martial artist to enter. The commander sincerely hoped that whatever he had to say would be quickly over, although with Zell that would be a miracle.

The young man entered the room holding what appeared to be, at one time, a meatball sub. Zell walked over to the desk as he was finishing the remains of the sandwich, followed by the traditional wiping-of-the-hands on pants. He took a seat in the chair opposite Squall's desk and half-heartily started looking at the mess of paperwork that was sprawled over the surface.

"Do you actually want something?" Squall asked his gruff voice augmented with irritation.

Zell picked up a piece of paper from the commander's desk and started skimming it, "Yeah, I was just here to inform you that Laguna arrived by helicopter. He's being escorted to his room, but of course, he asked to see his son."

Squall glared at the paper in the young operates hand. "You do realize that is confidential, don't you? I could dismiss you from Garden for even glancing at it." Squall stood up and quickly yanked the dissertation away from Zell. "If that is all you have to say, dismissed."

Zell gave the commander an annoyed look and stood to leave. At that moment, Squall's computer sounded. It had done the cross-comparison between the original document and the second draft. Only three words were different in the entire report.

"Covered with blood?" Zell turned around and quickly faced the commander, as he had already started walking out the door.

Squall stared at him for a moment, "What the hell did you just say?"

Zell took a small step toward the commander. "Well, yeah I was technically '_reading'_ that piece of paper that I wasn't supposed to see. It stated Rinoa ran from Garden, _covered in blood._"

Squall glared at him briefly, and then turned his attention back to the computer screen, which was at an angle impossible for Zell to read. It also displayed the same three words Zell just said, _covered with blood. _He could only look at the younger man, unable to form a thought at how bizarre this coincidence was.

Zell started speaking when his commander didn't seem to understand the sudden outburst.

"Squall, it's just that I actually saw Rinoa as she was leaving Garden, when the Galbadian troops started chasing after her. She had this look of… Well I don't know exactly, she looked scared, horrified at the situation. I was on my way to help, when I was cut off by another group of soldiers. I wasn't that far from her, maybe three meters at best. One thing that I can tell you, she had no blood on her at all. I was looking to verify she hadn't been injured."

Squall still looked at the computer finally affirming, "That was added on the final copy. It's not on the original draft."

"Why would anyone add that on the second draft, if it wasn't true? It almost seems like that would make it look like she was hurt or had hurt somebody at close…" Zell stopped at his own comment. "Ah…sorry about that Squall, sure it's no big deal."

"Zell, I'm asking you as Commander and as a friend…are you positive Rinoa had _no_ blood on her?" Squall demanded intently searching Zell's eyes for a response.

"Yes, Squall. I would bet my life on it. As my word as a SeeD, Rinoa had no blood on her. Why is this so important anyhow?"

Squall leaned back in his chair trying to figure it out himself, "Because it is a direct quote from a SeeD, which was apparently added later on."

Zell nodded with understanding, not pushing the subject any further. He started to leave the office yet again, and then a flash of lightening struck outside. Zell was hypnotically pulled back to his dream, which had so often plagued him. The vivid image of Rinoa standing on the lake of blood, yet mysteriously without any on her, entered his mind. The words of the report etched into his mind, _covered with blood_. He seemed to understand something within himself, within the confines of his dream. Before he closed the door to Squall's office, he turned back to the commander.

"Squall, don't ask me how I know anything. I'm not even sure. I feel that statement is very important, _whoever said that is lying._"

Squall didn't reply as Zell closed the door. He gathered up the papers in the folder and began the process to shut down the computer.

* * *

Quistis had been walking for what had seemed hours, finally ending up on the shores of Balamb. Taking her shoes off, the lonely instructor let the sand play between her naked toes. Irrevocably when she felt she could walk no longer, she collapsed to the sand below. Waves would come and hit her legs, each time seeming to rise. The foam of the water was mesmerizing, little whirlpools would form around her. She wished they were just large enough to drag her under the treacherous surf. Occasionally, she would attempt to pull her salt-covered hair out of her eyes; mostly she just let it cling to her pale face, feeling the stinging from the salty water, made the pain in her heart not as great. The tears were almost gone now, there does come a point when crying becomes impossible.

"You know, if you stay in the water like that you could catch pneumonia," a low voice declared from behind her.

She knew the voice. She had known it most of her life, although the pitch had changed over many a year.

"Seifer, not now, please."

Ignoring the request, he sat beside her, drenching himself in the ocean surf.

"I don't know why I'm here or how I got to this point, _either._ The last few years have been no more than a blur."

"You don't understand what I'm going through, Mr. Almasy," she acknowledged, although not telling him to leave this time.

"I bet you would be amazed at how similar our situations are, instructor. Right now, you're looking out to the endless ocean contemplating your entire existence. Although, taking your own life is not even crossing your mind. It is a scary thought to be alone, in life and in death. You are wishing right now that you could take the last two years back. I, myself, wish I could take back the last five and half."

"Least you didn't fall in love with someone who never could love you," she quietly said, never taking her eyes of the impending sunset.

"Didn't I? Seems to me that I fell in love with a concept, an idea so mind-boggling to this day…I can't believe I fell for it. I fell in love with a sorceress, or her power more like it, not even of this time. How well do you think that relationship could work out?" Seifer replied still looking at the soaking wet instructor.

"I married him. The ironic part of the situation is I knew he didn't love me. I figured if he was _with_ me…that would be good enough."

"We always want what we can't have, it's human nature. You saw a chance to make your dreams come true, then when you got what you wanted…it was not what you had dreamed. I know."

"I just pictured us living a happy life. He would eventually forget about _her_ and I would be there when he did."

"Quistis, I'm sorry, but he is _never_ going to forget Rinoa. There is a bond there that cannot be broken, no matter how much time has past. Hell, it will last beyond this lifetime into the next. The best you can do is count the losses now, and show him that you are stronger than he could ever imagine."

She looked toward Seifer for the first time. "Do you think she killed Ellone?"

Seifer curved his gaze from her as if searching for answers from the vista. "No, I don't. I loved her once and don't believe she is capable. I also speak as a former knight…the power of a sorceress can only be corrupted if that was her desire. Rinoa would have nothing to gain by killing Ellone, only everything to lose."

"Where do you think she is right now, Seifer?" Quistis asked with almost a tinge of sorrow in her voice.

"I think she is scared, hiding probably. I mean even I watched Squall…on the podium as he announced the hunt for Rinoa. He showed no emotion toward her. He basically gave anyone the right to shoot on sight. She thinks there is nothing here for her."

Quistis looked down and attempted to trace circles in the sand with her index finger, only to have the surf wash all attempts away. "How do you live with what you have done, how do you face the consequences?"

Seifer returned his gaze to her, attempting to figure out exactly what she had meant by the statement. It almost seemed out of context. "I haven't yet. I believe I'm trying to redeem myself now. I just hope it is not too late. Frankly, I don't trust President Mitchell. I honestly believe Squall Leonhart might be my last hope for redemption."

Neither said another word and just continued to watch the sun set below the threatening, foreboding waves.

* * *

Quistis walked down the halls of Balamb Garden, it was well past midnight now. Hours had passed since she left Seifer sitting along the beach; without a word, she walked away from him. Not once had she actually thought of arresting him, he essentially had been a strange form of comfort. After she left the waterfront, she continued walking for some time realizing she had actually missed Garden's departure. For a fleeting moment, she wondered if Squall would wait for her, or if he even showed any concern on her disappearance. When she returned to the dock, it was empty. She had no money on her and tried calling Selphie, collect at that, to wire funds to hire transportation. After all attempts had failed, she noticed by chance an Estharian helicopter and quickly raced toward it.

At that point, she wasn't sure if it was a blessing or an omen that the helicopter was that of her father-in-law. Her transportation problems would be solved for the moment. It was an awkward trip, Laguna constantly asking about the condition of his son. Quistis just wanted the older man to be quiet. In the end, Laguna took the hint and the rest of the trip was made in silence.

Now she found herself back at her room, her and Squall's room. When she opened the door, the only light present emitted from the moonlight filtering through the curtains. Taking her jacket off, Quistis walked the span of the living room over to the light switch and flipped it on. She jumped at the sight of a man sitting serenely in a lone chair. Squall looked almost infuriated, a look she was trying to interpret given their current situation.

"Squall, I thought I told you to stay away from me," Quistis spoke not really in resentment.

He got up out of the chair, throwing a thick folder down on the table. His eyes met hers, staring intensely into her soul.

"You lied," was all he could say…

* * *

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Encounter **

Squall rose from the wooden chair, tossing the bulky folder down to the dining room table. His eyes met those of Quistis, burning directly through azure eyes into her actual soul.

"You lied," he mumbled with sheer detest surrounding his statement.

Quistis looked at this man, _her husband_, in absolute bewilderment. His expression was one of genuine disgust; a look she had never seen before in all her twenty-three years. Subconsciously she knew her whole illusion was nearing the end. She took several small steps away from him, evading his pending advances as she continued entering the small apartment.

"Squall, what in the hell are you doing here?"

The instructor found herself slowly backing onto the entryway wall. Squall continued, gradually edging closer. Something about the cold obscurity of his eyes scared her, colder than his normal disdainful glare. Contempt, hate, something worse was present. Years of training taught her to look into enemy eyes for a sign of weakness. Right now, Squall Leonhart had none. Nothing had ever set him off like this before, _except her_... Quistis whispered the word aloud. Not for him to hear the faintly audible plea, just verbalizing her inner thoughts, fearing she was correct about the source of his odd behavior, "Rinoa?"

He said nothing, only stood millimeters from her shaking body. The enraged commander did not have to answer with words…his actions spoke clearly.

The momentary flashbacks of events two years prior danced within her minds eye. _He knew, Squall knew. _Too many years of living with the guilt was slowly drowning her, now she deep under water. Hyne only knew Squall was not going to jump in to save her. The life of Quistis Trepe-Leonhart would change from this day forth; mistakes of the past would be revealed. More innocents would die because of her failures. The scar on Squall's forehead was nothing compared to the scar in her heart, in her soul.

Pictures, images, and sounds came back flooding the instructors mind…too many pictures, too many deaths. He wanted to know the truth; that would cost them all. Quistis folded her arms, grabbed her elbows, and collapsed against the wall. He had to drop this line of questioning…_he just had to_…

"Please no, no…" She slid her back down the hard surface, tears streaming down an already pasty face. "Squall you don't understand. God please…no, just drop it."

He squatted down to her level, knees cracking as he neared the floor. With lightning fast reflexes, the commander grabbed her wrist and spat, "You will tell me the whole story right now my _darling wife_ or gods help me, it will be your blood that is shed this time."

"Squall it's not like you think…I had no fucking choice."

"Everyone has a choice! Look me in the eyes and tell me point blank you _saw_ Rinoa kill Ellone," he demanded with more intensity, his eyes silently pleading for the answer he so longed to hear.

Quistis could not look directly at him. The pain in her wrist was increasing as his gripped tightened around the thin bones. That action alone answered his question.

"You lying bitch, go to hell. You…you..."

Letting go of her, he turned away from the morose form against the wall. The commander walked to the table placing both arms on the cherry-wood furniture for support. Words escaped him for the moment, what could he say?

"Squall listen, you have to know what really happened that week…it is not what you think. I have never asked anything of you during this entire charade of a marriage. All I will ever ask is that you listen now."

With great vehemence, the commander hit his tight fists onto the table, still not looking in her direction. "I will listen only if you answer me one simple question: _did Sorceress Rinoa Heartilly kill Ellone Loire?_"

"No…" she stammered, her word was barely audible through winded breath.

With sheer ferocity, Squall Leonhart extended his right arm knocking off the folder from the tabletop. Individual sheets of paper soared up to the air as Squall made contact with the thick folder he had placed on the table. The white paper leafs filled the room like bitter snow reflecting the coldness in Squall's heart.

"How could you,_ how could I? _Damn it!" he bellowed trying to vocalize his anger. "_I ordered _her capture and subsequent execution for the crime! Rinoa…oh Hyne, Rinoa what have I done to you?"

The emotionally battered woman stood, not with certainty, but only with sheer will power to explain the treachery. "You must listen to me Squall. Too many…too many more lives will be shattered."

"Shattered!" he screamed back to her. "I think it's a little too late for that. You tell me where in the hell she is and maybe you will be out of prison in time to enjoy retirement. Making false accusations is a punishable crime in this country. You help me and I will ask the judge for leniency on my _poor, foolish_ wife. Lie to me again…I personally will sentence you to death"

"You don't understand Squall…I'm dead either way."

This statement distracted his line of thinking. "What do you mean you're _dead?"_

She walked silently to their glass veranda doors, gazing to the chasm of the night sky. Squall said nothing. Quistis could feel the eyes of her husband piercing the heart beating inside her chest. She heard his heavy breathing, not for one instance daring to glance in his direction.

"You must listen to the _whole_ story Squall. Lives were lost, innocents that I, that we, fought to protect."

"You have five minutes before I call security," he vowed malevolently.

Quistis knew nothing she could say that would ease his hatred. The only hope was making him understand why the deception, the treachery, and the fraud demonstrated toward him, Garden…and Rinoa.

* * *

Glacial winds were chilling down to her very bone. Life was easily lost in temperatures, circumstances such as these. Rinoa would become a statistic, a forgotten memory to all who had ever known her. Would that be the worst thing in her pathetic existence in this world? Not really, but _no one_ was going to hurt Allison, especially not that beast, _that man_, who had mentally, and physically abused her.

She stayed, yes. She stayed in Richard Bennett's residence of her own free will. _Free will_, that was a laugh, nothing was free in her life; everything had its price. Two years ago, if somebody told her she would live with such an abusive tyrant Rinoa would have laughed, all but calling him or her a_ meanie. _She _had_ changed, not for the better. Protecting the little girl was all she endeavored the last couple of years. Richard never once hurt Allison. In a strange twist of irony, he was an affectionate father just a wretched excuse for a husband, or for that matter, a human.

It had been long since she had ventured outside her dwelling in Trabia. A prisoner trapped within confines of four walls. Now the fresh Trabian air seemed highly overrated by local papers and news stations alike. The dark night seemed endless. She had been traveling for almost four hours and had no idea of her current location, nor could recall how most of the events had transpired.

The packed snow grew deeper with every passing minute; shelter was now the only priority. A small clearing through the crowded woodland appeared, and with it, so did hope. She could make out the silhouette of a building. It appeared to be a hunting cabin in the middle of the forest. The idea of a person vacationing in this snow-filled purgatory astonished her. With newfound energy, she quickly headed toward the shelter.

* * *

Night was the best time to make an effort to tell him, as blackness cloaked the terror concealed deep within her heart. The Garden continued its route to Deling City, gentle warm breezes played with the few scattered plants placed on the balcony. It was Quistis futile attempt to make the place feel more the home than a meaningless apartment. She examined one of the foliage, a small olive-colored shrub planted precisely a year ago…on the first anniversary of Ellone's death. It was now or never. Time was now her enemy.

"Squall, that morning…_that_ morning Rinoa and I had the worst fight between us yet. That's why I had visited your office. She had been such a complete bitch the last two weeks. I personally wondered what the problem really was. In fact, I wasn't alone, both Selphie and Zell noticed the dramatic change in her behavior. Almost immediately after I exited your office, she was standing there. Rinoa's dark hair reflected her expression…it didn't even look like her."

"Rinoa stepped toward me, glaring directly to my eyes, spitefulness contained within her words…'_Run to Squall when poor, feeble Quistis gets her feelings hurt. That seems to be your answer to everything instructor. Run to him, maybe he'll realize it was actually you he loved, not me. Why don't you just throw your pitiful self onto his desk and fuck his brains out? Hyne knows he and I have done just that many times before, oh that's right he doesn't want you._' I only could stare at her."

Quistis continued after a brief pause, "Unsure of how to respond to Rinoa's outburst, I couldn't make a civilized response. Actually, the opportunity never arose, at that moment, Galbadian forces rushed in attacking. Both of us turned to the entrance, she looked just as surprised as I had been. Again we faced each other, this time the look was one of mutual understanding…_defend Garden_. Personal differences would be solved later. We ran down the stairs toward the main gate. At one point a grenade was heaved in our direction, she pulled me behind a support beam to protect me from the blast."

Squall walked behind her, almost spitting in her ear, "So Rinoa might have saved your life, which is a very good reason to frame her for murder. With friends like you, my enemies are starting to look pretty damn virtuous. This better get more informative real quick…three minutes until I call security."

Squall's words did not faze her as she continued, "That's when part of the second floor overhang collapsed…we'd been protected by the support column. Then we saw her, we saw Ellone. Sis was out of the immediate area of the initial collapse, but she lay motionless on the ground. Rinoa had been unarmed and unjunctioned before the attack, my guess is she was going to rely on her slight internal magic ability… I just don't know. We ran over to her, when I got closer I saw something – a large piece of metal was going through Elle's chest. Sis was killed with shrapnel caused by the grenade explosion, although at that point, she had not passed away."

Squall did not move. "Killed by shrapnel from a grenade explosion? How fucking hard is that to say to everybody? I can see how you can get that confused with _Rinoa stabbed Ellone with a knife._ Yes, I'm sure the distinction between the two events was very difficult in that little head of yours."

"Squall, listen to the rest of the story please!" begged Quistis. "What I did wasn't right, but I tried. I tried so damn hard to rectify it!"

"Continue then my beautiful wife, please enlighten me."

"We were still under part of the overhang, Galbadian troops were making their way closer to our position. Ellone looked at both of us and smiled. '_It's all right'_…she gasped, obviously in pain. I looked at her remembering all that transpired in her life, her past…and visible lack of a future. I wanted to comfort her. I wanted to be there holding her hand through this… I reached for it, but before I could get there, Ellone grabbed Rinoa's hand."

Quistis took a deep breath, looking at Squall for the first time since she had started the horrible recount of events. "Squall, Hyne knows it was petty, but she was _my Sis_. Rinoa barely knew her. First, I lost my chance for you, and then I lost the chance to comfort Ellone in her final minutes…to _her_, both to Rinoa. A quick intense light flashed, my first thought was that Rinoa was attempting to use magic, and then I noticed the aura was emanating from Ellone. Rinoa collapsed on the ground still holding Elle's hand. It was only for around thirty seconds that Rinoa stayed unconscious… She woke up startled, looking directly at Ellone. Sis opened her eyes for the last time and glanced toward Rinoa. '_He loves you and always will,'_ she whispered to the confused girl. Then Sis peacefully closed her eyes and took her final breath. Rinoa said not one word, to me or to Ellone. She dropped Elle's hand, got up, and ran. Not one word of explanation. I watched as the Galbadian troops followed her…at first it looked like they were going to attack her, and then they suddenly retreated. She managed to make it to the main gate and run."

The mystified commander looked at Quistis, "She ran, out the door? That would coincide with Zell's account, but not one word of _why _she didn't stay and help fight?"

"No Squall," Quistis continued, "nothing…at least nothing from her. That's when I heard a member of the Galbadian army announcing the attack on behalf of the sorceress. In my mind, that explained why the troops didn't follow her. I didn't have much time to think, the creaking of the overhang was getting louder. I had to move from under the unstable structure…the collapse would have killed me too. I grabbed Ellone's lifeless body dragging it a safe distance. Somewhere in the shuffle, the metal displaced itself from her chest. Crimson blood ran freely down from her open wound. Remarkably, it was the first blood I had seen, the metal had blocked the rush until it dislodged. I found myself covered in it…covered with Elle's blood."

"I held her in my arms rocking back and forth when a cadet came running toward me, followed by two Galbadian soldiers that appeared from around the corner. I thought for sure I was dead… Events rushed through my mind. I was making peace with the idea of death. It almost seemed welcomed. Yet the attack never came, instead the soldiers looked at me. One of them asked if the sorceress was responsible… I was either half-lost in my daydreams or half-lost in the resentment toward Rinoa for not staying to defend the Garden…the place sworn to protect her. I don't know why…to this day I wish I'd have that moment back. I looked directly into the soldier's eyes and said **_yes_**. '_Yes, __the sorceress killed Ellone'_. A minute later, you came rushing up, I could never speak the words to you directly…the cadet did that for me, I just nodded. Even years later, I never told you she_ did_, I just never told you she _didn't_. Reports where taken from both my accounts and others, facts and incorrect conclusions were drawn."

Squall looked her directly in the eyes, "It was a simple question Quistis, a yes or no answer. How hard is it to say NO? Why in the hell didn't you retract your statement? After the battle, there was plenty of time to do the honorable thing."

Quistis attempted to explain, "Yes, there was. Believe me I tried."

"You didn't try hard enough," the commander scolded, interrupting the testimony.

"Damn it, I tried! The newly formed World Council was to handle the investigation. I was explicitly instructed not to talk to anyone about the incident. I had gone to General Mitchell trying to rectify the misunderstanding…I was warned _clearly_ not to change the story. No, I was outright threatened. My life was not the issue. Instead, he threatened the safety of the Deling citizens. His last words to me before I left that day: _think about what you really want. **Think**. _The next day was far more tragic than the day Ellone died. There was an explosion…there was…" Quistis moved to the couch, sitting down she hid her face attempting to regain composure.

"What Quistis? What explosion?"

"The next day there was an explosion on an elementary school bus. Two children and the bus driver were killed. General Mitchell announced his candidacy for president that very evening. When making his public speech…" She found it increasingly difficult to continue, "In the speech, he said whoever was responsible for the atrocity better _think. _We will be watching his or _her_ back, until the time of trial and execution for this horrible deed. Around midnight, someone slipped an envelope under my door. In it was the newspaper article about the bus explosion…in thick red ink, it contained only one word…_think._ I got the message loud and clear. I knew the kind of man Galbadia was dealing with. President Jefferson Mitchell had innocent children killed to keep the truth from coming out. A man who could overcome a sorceress' spell was a very powerful man, one to the citizens of Deling, would be the clear cut choice for president."

"And like good little infidels they elected him," Squall reproached. "And like the brain-washed commander, I fell right into the same trap. Why Quistis? Why didn't you just say _no_? How hard could have that been? It was a simple yes or no question. How many more lives will be lost to this?"

Quistis not acknowledging the last statement kept reliving the events. "After I agreed not to tell, the World Council mysteriously found a homeless man who was tried and executed for the bombing. The citizens were satisfied the real killer had been brought to justice. _I know better_. He is out there every day daring me to come forward, watching my every move. That is why you must never tell anybody… Squall no one else can die. Please, I beg of you."

"Quistis…I'm not you. I won't go yelling to the council that Rinoa didn't murder Ellone, but I'm not going to sit around and let her suffer alone anymore."

"I know, Squall. I'm sorry."

"It was a simple question, how hard was it to answer truthfully? Yet you got what you always wanted, didn't you? I am your husband. You got me. Congratulations _Quistis Leonhart._"

"I'm so sorry. Please if I could change this, I would. I don't have _anything_ I wanted. I may have you in a physical sense, but never a mental one. Did you ever once look at me as your wife? Did you ever once not picture _her_ when we were making love? Did you ever kiss me or was it always _her_ in your head?"

"_No_ Quistis, it was never you I looked at as my wife. _No_, it was not you when I felt strained to kiss you. _No_, it was never you I saw when I forced myself to make love, have sex, or whatever the hell that was with you. _No, _Quistis it was never you. See how easy saying _no_ is?" Squall roared as he slammed the door behind him.

She knew this was the end. Everything she attempted to build with Squall, based on a lie. He would probably never speak to her again. Yet telling the truth lifted a huge weight from her being. Maybe he could find Rinoa, that is, if she was still alive. Maybe Squall could right her mistakes, much like Seifer, her hopes for redemption laid squarely on Squall's shoulders.

She picked herself off the couch and wandered like a ghost over to the balcony. Sliding the doors open, the instructor took off her golden wedding band. For just a moment, she watched the beautiful reflection in the full moonlight. Quistis looked at the symbol for the last time, and then effortlessly tossed the wedding ring out to the churning waves below.

* * *

* * *

**Chapter Eight: Tension **

As dawn's light crept across the office floor, Squall slowly awoke from his tentative slumber. The office had become more a home to him than his apartment; many memories remained within these four walls. He reached out to caress the smooth mahogany of his desk. Like a silent colleague, the furniture had always been there, in both the best and worst of times.

For an ephemeral moment, he was mentally transported back to a more tranquil time. Remembering Rinoa sitting at the edge of his desk smiling at him, and Rinoa_ on_ his desk, the thought of that almost wanted to make him smile, _almost_. They spent many hours there together, several of which he probably would have lost his job over.

Rinoa had never seen his new quarters, those added after the reconstruction. The memories there were only with Quistis. He closed his eyes in pain at the sheer thought of _that name_. What a position they had both been forced into. Maybe he had been too hard on her last night or maybe he had not been hard enough. Time was running out. After two years of this living hell, he could feel the conclusion drawing near.

Why now, why after these years did he feel the extraordinary urgency again? It was a renewed passion to seek the truth. Yes, that was the reason, _truth_. Squall now _knew the truth_. Maybe he could not save the sorceress this time, but playing these political games wasn't working. In addition there was Seifer, why after two years to the day Ellone dies, does he show up claiming he wants to help Rinoa? The commanding officer tried to search for clandestine motives for the former knight's sudden reappearance. Squall could think of several individual and political motivations, yet on instinct alone, he believed his request for deliverance. Squall also sought after salvation.

They were equals once again.

A light knock on the door interrupted his line of contemplation. Squall sighed as he smoothed his chestnut hair back, attempting to hide the fact that he had spent the night sleeping in his oversized chair. Hiding from whom he did not know, everyone in Garden knew of his sleeping habits. Somehow, now that his travesty of a marriage was officially going to be over, he felt the need to conceal his actions from students and instructors alike.

"Come in," he replied, sleep able to disguise itself within his husky voice.

The commander's administrative assistant stuck her head in the office, "Sir, we will be arriving in Deling within the hour. The staff you requested is waiting in the small conference room. Also, President Loire has been by twice this morning looking for you."

Great, top the last twenty-four hours off with Laguna and call his wretched existence complete. Somebody up there really did have it out for him. "Lauren, please tell President Loire that I will be attending meetings this morning. If opportunity allows before we go ashore, I will meet with him briefly."

The young SeeD promptly saluted, turning to leave the door. Lauren had been with him thirteen months, and truth be told, he could not even recall her last name. Nor did he care. What disturbed him most was her striking resemblance to Rinoa, particularly the dark flowing hair. More than once he caught sight of her with his peripheral vision, momentary believing it was the sorceress, hoping it was. When Lauren first started her employment with him, he began the process of transfer to Trabia Garden, but then decided the constant reminder would be a deserving anguish in his life.

As an after thought, he called for the junior SeeD to return to the room, "Lauren, when was the last time you were on a field mission?"

She stared at the commander with slight apprehension. It was unlike him to say anymore then essential. "Sir, I was on my quarterly assessment about a month ago."

"No, I mean an operation not requiring evaluation," he replied evading direct eye contact.

"Since becoming a SeeD, I've been doing primarily administrative work. I only go on assignments when guidelines regulate. My instructor decided that I was more qualified in my organizational skills than my fighting abilities."

"Well, who is your instructor? I will talk to them. You will be joining us on this mission," he acknowledged standing from behind his desk.

"Sir…it's your wife, Instructor Leonhart," Lauren answered faintly surprised the commander was not aware.

"Quistis assigned _you_ tome?" Squall's voice escalating in slight anger.

"Yes sir," she replied not understanding where this conversation was going.

Squall pushed in the chair to his desk, finally looking at Lauren. He wore a stern face, one the SeeD knew better than attempt to question.

"Lauren, I will be in charge of your missions from now on, Quistis Tre…Leonhart is no longer an instructor at Garden. As of today, she is on indefinite teaching suspension and on a four-week leave from all SeeD related duties. Until I can find suitable replacement, all her SeeD and cadets may report to me as their mission counselor. Please join the others in the small meeting room, I will be there momentarily."

* * *

Quistis sat staring at the official communication in hand. This had been the second time reading the contents within the short document. It should not have surprised her, she was well aware that it was coming. Lying under oath was perjury, immediate termination from SeeD. When the Garden Faculty had revoked her teaching license before, it hurt. However, nothing prepared her from the sting that seeing Squall Leonhart's signature would cause. Originally, she was supposed to be in a meeting right now. Yet presently, she had no idea of what to do…today or with her life in general. The normal demeanor of the instructor was gone, and in its place was more the scared little girl than the valiant SeeD. This had been her life from such an early age, what else was she capable of doing?

The slight trembling of Garden announced the arrival in Deling. As the breaks applied, the motor's churning sound echoed within the silent apartment. Reaching the city would give the instructor a much needed break from _this _place, yet her uneasiness grew because of the growing proximity to President Mitchell. Quistis sat motionless on the couch studying each word on the letter, committing it to memory. A slight rattling at the door startled her. The only person, besides herself, with keys was Squall. Would he really come back to this place? Experience on his actions taught that Squall would want to stay as far away as humanly possible. Quistis continued to watch as the door opened.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She found herself blaring at the man.

"Actually, I was checking on you Instructor," he smirked.

"You are like a maggot that thrives on the carcass of road kill," she answered while her body trembled.

"Wow, I believe that is a compliment coming from you," he smugly countered.

Tossing the letter to the side table, she stood up backing the man into a corner. "How in Diablo did you get in here Seifer?"

"We maggots have our trade secrets." He ducked to the side, avoiding her reach as he sauntered into the living area. "So this is where you and Squall live? My guess is he didn't have anything to do with decorating. I don't see the heads of his victims stuffed and mounted on the wall or the shrine to Rinoa anywhere around."

Quistis turned to the man, "Seriously, how do you get in walking freely through Garden? What happened to our security, to keep people like you out?"

"Or people like you in?" he retorted. "I was worried about you and the dear commander. So thought I would just drop by and check in on my favorite couple."

No longer wishing to argue, in an odd way glad for someone removed from the situation to talk with, she answered him.

"It's over."

Seifer tensed at that statement that would explain her lackluster appearance. Had she been crying all night?

"Quistis, sorry I didn't know. Are you okay?"

"What do you mean _am I okay_? I just lost my husband, my job, and my place to live all in one day!"

"You lost your job? That bastard, he can't fire you because your marriage is over." Seifer had a tinge of concern within his voice.

"No, Seifer he can't. But he is well within his rights to fire me for lying, filing false reports, and in general being a weak person."

"Instructor, you are not a weak person, not on any account. No matter what you did," Seifer rebuked, surprised at his own compliment to the woman.

"Don't call me _instructor_ anymore. It's just Quistis Trepe."

"No matter what you did, I'm sure you have some form of recourse. Squall is just being a fucking bastard. Some things never change. Do you want to talk about it? I know you can't stand the sight of me, but I can still listen."

A surprised look crossed the woman's face, "Yes, Seifer…for some reason I would like to talk to somebody. Hyne knows why I'm telling you this, but I don't know who else would _or could_ understand…beside someone who has been through it themselves."

Walking toward her he motioned to the couch, "I'm not sure whether to be flattered or hurt by that, Instr…Quistis." They both sat on the sofa. Seifer turned facing her while she chose to look forward, ignoring his gesture. "Please…I do want to listen, maybe I can help."

The strange thing is Quistis really did believe his desire to help. This is not how she would have envisioned the start of a new day…

* * *

The meeting room was barely big enough for six people. In fact, Squall actually considered it a large storage closet more than a functional room. When he arrived, Lauren, Selphie, Zell, and Irvine sat around the table. They turned their full attention toward their leader, as he entered the room and each stood in acknowledgement. After saluting in customary SeeD fashion, they returned to their seats.

Squall did not recognize them, just started handing each case folders.

"We have been asked to take over the investigation of a kidnapping in Trabia."

"Trabia?" Irvine questioned. "Seems to me that we spent a couple years working on their Garden so they could handle things like this."

"Yes Irvine, Trabia is handling the preliminary investigation on this. Unfortunately for me, it was the daughter of a World Council member so my assistance has been requested."

"You mean demanded," stated Zell.

"Whatever," Squall chastised the martial artist. "Now if everyone would shut up and act like SeeDs I could give you the details." Nobody spoke back to him, as each knew that would be pushing his or her luck. "Two nights ago, Richard and Renee Bennett had their fourteen-month-old daughter kidnapped sometime during the night. Richard is a top council member from Trabia, and the council leader will personally over see this case. We currently believe that Mr. Bennett's assistant is responsible for the abduction. Her name is Alexandra Williams. She had not only served as a work assistant, but also a part-time nanny to the child. Renee Bennett is very ill, and not expected to survive much longer. The council fears that the concern for her child's welfare might be too much on her health. When we docked at Balamb, I sent two SeeDs to Fisherman's Horizon where Ms. Williams is believed to have an aunt. After reporting that to the council, they were not pleased with my selections and wish me to send two "A" rank SeeDs. Zell and Irvine, you will be leaving for FH this afternoon to replace the others. Selphie and Lauren, you will be going to Trabia to aid in the investigation from that end, any questions?"

Zell looked through the case folder, noticing that any photographs were missing.

"Yes Commander Leonhart, do we have any pictures of Ms. Williams or the child…_Allison Elizabeth_?"

Lauren grabbed a nearby file. "Sir, this came for you. I made copies for everyone."

She handed some papers to Squall. Quickly he glanced at them before handing them to the others. Zell sat looking at the picture with a strange sense of déjà vu, yet he could not place the little girl's face.

"Oh! She is so cute!" cried Selphie. "How could anyone want to hurt such a sweet looking child?"

Zell sat memorized at the picture, "Guys, I have a strange question for you. Does this baby look familiar to you in any way?"

Irvine looked at the photograph of the child. "Zell, let's face it, all babies look the same…but the nanny carries herself v_ery well_."

Squall held the picture of the two in his hand. Something about Zell's statement seemed correct, but impossible knowing that none of them had ever seen the child in question.

"Zell, Irvine is right. Most children look the same at this age. This child is no different from anyone else. The key is going to be finding Alexandra Williams. I now have to go to a council meeting and report what progress we do not have in either this or the search for the sorceress. Dismissed."

Selphie looked around the room, proclaiming to nobody in particular, "Where is Quistis, wasn't she supposed to be on this mission?"

Squall did not even bother turning around, "She is no longer an instructor and is currently on suspension from all duties."

Nobody moved as they all sat confused, which was evident in their individual expressions.

* * *

As Quistis finished recalling the last detail of events to Seifer, from two years ago to last night, a sigh of relief escaped her lips. He had actually _listened to her_, how many nights had she dreamt Squall doing the same? Now they were just faded hopes of a life slipped by. The two remained seated silently; Seifer didn't jump up and condemn Squall's action. Ironically, he almost agreed with them, yet with a much higher degree of compassion.

Reaching over he looked at the officially stamped letter. "Quistis he didn't fire you from SeeD. According to this letter, you are on a month suspension. I believe he technically had the right to dismiss you permanently."

"So what? He might as well have kicked me out. What am I going to do around here afterwards? The two of us can never work together again," she replied spitefully.

"Actually, I think this is his way of understanding or asking for forgiveness for his betrayals," Seifer tried to explain. As Quistis turned her head glaring directly into the former knight's eyes, he could sense her uneasiness about the statements.

"Now just hear me out. Had he wanted never to speak to you again, you would be gone…this is one of the better courses he could've taken. I think that you two should try to talk, maybe not today, but soon. I know you've come to the realization that the marriage has ended. For both of your sakes, that is the best decision. Quistis, you're twenty-three-years-old, and you're acting as if life is over. The best thing you can do now is show him that you're not weak, pick up the pieces and be the best SeeD you can be. Some of us will never have that opportunity."

She thought for a moment, Seifer essentially had made a valid point. Outlandish and as earth shaking as it may be, Seifer actually made sense. Suddenly she tensed, feeling a hand on her cheek, wiping away the tears. Quistis wasn't sure if the surprise came from the fact that the sensation of reassurance was foreign, or the fact she actually took comfort in it. Many nights she wished for some form of human contact, now he was there, where another should have been. No, that wasn't right. Squall should not have been there…he should have been comforting someone else, someone who needed him more. For a moment, she looked into Seifer's eyes attempting to read his motivation. Sympathy, concern, and something else were present…this was not the man she remembered from five years ago.

"Seifer," she spoke softly. "There is another reason I need to talk to Squall." Walking over to the dresser, she opened the drawer and lifted some tablecloths, clasping something tight in her hands.

He took a step closer to her; curious of what else Quistis could be upset about. When he saw what she held in her hands all he could say was, "Oh my God."

* * *

_At times life goes the way we plan, most of the time, fate has another design for us. When I was five, I lost my mother. When I was fourteen, I lost my father…not in a physical sense, just emotional, sometimes that can be more devastating. When I was seventeen, I helped saved the world, and when I was twenty I lost the very world I helped save only years before. Yes, fate can be spiteful creature. A few fragments of that celebrated world remain…some good, some bad. Most are daydreams and memories, but one very special piece of it survived. She does not know how lucky she is and according to fates wicked plan, she never will. However, I do. I would have given up long before had it not been for the one part of sanity from an otherwise insane life. Allison Raine Elizabeth survived, and Hyne willing, she will live to see tomorrow. _

_We are not fortunate enough to choose our enemies, especially if they are the ones we hold dear. They will never know the impact they had on my life. In fact, fate has determined they were not meant to know. We hold our faith in others hands, and want to believe all they tell us. Is this the lie, the deceit that has caused great nations to go to war? No, this is humanity at its best and at its worst. Faith is a wonderful thing to have, one never knows how important it is until the day it is lost. I remember that day. I remember watching him. His eyes were all I ever needed to watch. _

Two years earlier, the hunt for the sorceress begins…

In the congested capital of Deling, Rinoa Heartilly sat within the recess of an abandoned alleyway, clothes torn and tattered. It had been three days since the attack on Garden, three days that lasted an eternity. Yes, like a frightened child, she ran. But then again, Ellone told her to do so. It was decided by fate that she would have died in battle that day, ironic how she truly died either way. Now the dominant world powers had gathered politicians and SeeD alike, to announce the search for the sorceress. Had they ever once turned around to look within their own city streets, the sorceress lay broken within their reach. Watching, attempting to understand the charges against her.

Then it happened, like a surreal dream one desires to wake up from, Squall Leonhart declared her guilty of the murder of Ellone Loire. Rinoa witnessed Ellone die. Yes, by all rights, she was present. However, so was another that could have cleared her, should have cleared her. Fate was all too apparent now. The very people she loved turned against her. Moreover, the very person she would sacrifice her life for, just slaughtered her name and reputation in front of millions.

She watched as the Garden Commander solemnly took the podium, his words echoed the suffering and anguish upon his face. "The Sorceress Rinoa Heartilly has been found guilty of the murder of Ellone Loire. She is to be considered an enemy of the state, for such crimes are punishable by death. When located, if she shows any sign of resistance, you have authority to shoot on sight."

His eyes, if nothing else about that day, would be engraved within her mind for eternity…the detached glassy stare and most of all, the absence of faith. His faith in her had been taken away three days ago, now hers in the knight, also vanished. Rinoa had come to Deling City in an attempt to make contact with him; she now saw this was not possible. If she knew one thing, Squall Leonhart honestly believed her guilty. She was dead to him.

Normally, she might have risked the chance of contact, but it was not just her safety anymore. Ellone warned of this…had warned to leave Garden without a word to anyone. Above all, she warned if Rinoa did not listen, the life of her unborn baby would be lost. Fate had been vicious today.

Citizens gathered outside their shops and restaurants, watching the events unfolding on the streets. Rinoa knew this would be her last chance to escape from Deling and the Commander of SeeD. The sorceress accepted this would be the last time she would see him. Her brown eyes now filled with tears yet to fall, as she memorized his features for the last time. From the dark alley, she whispered her goodbyes to a man surrounded by thousands of soldiers, presidential hopefuls, and ironically General Caraway. Those two men had never gotten along during Rinoa's three years at Garden. It was a paradox onto itself how the one thing that would unite them, would be the demise of her life.

The older woman who ran the corner pharmacy was outside taking in the awe of the troops, paying little attention to her shop. Rinoa held her breath as she walked out from the veiled alley, hoping not to draw much attention from pedestrians. Whether it was fate, or some unknown sorceress ability, she managed to make it into the small store without detection. Hastily proceeding toward the back aisle, Rinoa found the hair care products. Her highlighted hairstreaks made her easily recognizable; those would have to be covered. Finding a dark shade of brown, she tore open a box of coloring, stuffing the small tube into her overcoat pockets.

On the way out, she also grabbed a large pair of scissors from the stationary aisle. Not only to cut her hair, but they were the closest item in the store, resembling a weapon. If need be, they could be used in self-defense. Before departing, she stuffed the rest of her pockets with granola bars and grabbed a few juice bottles she carried visibly in her hands. Rinoa had never stolen before and even in the present circumstances, the guilt was eating away at her conscious. Nevertheless, she escaped without incident, taking it as a sign that fate held the slightest bit of compassion. Silently she assured herself that one day she would repay the debts to the store if circumstances allowed.

Just as covertly as she slipped in, she managed to elude all eyes on the way out. Immediately she returned to the alley, grateful for the stealth cover of night. Using the hair color would not be wise right now, but cutting her hair might throw people off, if even for a moment. Inhaling deeply, she took the shears and watched as long strands of brunette hair fell onto the shadows of the alley. When it was over, her hair was short and bobbed, strangely almost the same style as Ellone, maybe a tad shorter. She gathered up all the clumps on the ground and buried them deeply in a trash container nearby.

Rinoa Heartilly took one last breath, glancing back over her shoulder to the crowds still chanting for her death. Reaching up, she embraced the two hanging rings around her filth-covered neck. She then started to move away from the enormous crowd. The sorceress walked deeper into the passageway, taking the back streets to reach the Deling trucking yards. Many shipping vehicles gathered there daily exporting and importing items from far off lands. Her strategy was simple, make it to a truck, hide inside the cargo hold until it reached its destination, and then continue making it as far away from the Galbadian and Estharian territories as possible.

When Rinoa vanished into the darkness, a lone shadowy outline walked to where she had stood. Bending down he reached for something on the dirty pavement. Standing up, he held a stray clump of long brown hair - the top contained a small lighter streak. Walking over to the waste container, he carefully placed the hair deep within the trash. Evidence can be damning, especially on charges such as murder. He closed the lid and sauntered out into the crowd. His eyes stopped when he saw the SeeD Commander. Even he could read the pain and betrayal on his face; he did not feel the least bit of remorse toward the man seated on the platform. The only person he felt repentance for, just vanished into the shadows, and out of everyone's life.

_And so it began, two years and a lifetime ago. Sometimes I look in the mirror and try to pretend I cut my former life, when I cut my hair. That day I stopped believing in other people and only started believing in me. Survival has its price. Hyne knows I paid it. When I find myself upset or worried, I reach up to grasp the metallic rings, but like the sinister phantoms that haunt me in this world, they are now figments of my imagination. Material possessions I gave up long ago in the name of survival. I can still feel them though…feel them when I move, when I sleep. The comfort they gave me shall be with me for eternity. I can feel the cold platinum upon my bare chest, in one's dreams you can feel anything. _

_Now I sit and watch the dancing flames as the cabin offers me more than required shelter. As the nightfall breaks and gives way to another winter's day, I feel a strange sense of serenity. For the first time in two years, I am alone. It offers me the solitude and peace that I forgot existed in this universe._

_Ironic now how I am depending on another again, especially with the one thing I treasure most, my daughter. I trust in Alexandra, she was there with me from the beginning, never questioning, always offering assistance. She would have left her job long ago had it not been for the compassion she felt toward me. Working for Richard could almost be as appalling as being married to him. I do not know what she had to endure being an 'assistant' for that bastard, I never asked. I know what he did to me; I pray she had better fortune. Alex is out there, I know. She is the guardian angel I wished for and Hyne help her, she knows the truth…well most of it._

_Aiding the sorceress is also a crime punishable by death, yet Alex decided to help...risk her own life for that of a child, not of her own flesh and blood. I find myself questioning if Squall would have helped, had he known about Ally. I knew him more than anyone should know another living soul. Strangely, it was through actions more than words. His eyes always spoke louder than his voice ever could. I talk about faith and of losing it, yet something deep down inside still holds out hope for him. Maybe my faith in him is not completely gone, just buried beneath the layers of lies. Therefore, if I truthfully had to answer my own question, yes, I do believe Squall would have helped, if not for me…for his daughter._

* * *

* * *

**Chapter Nine: Variance **

_I cannot stand this place, everything I see reminds me of you. It always has. For two years, I have lived with the guilt that I would ultimately end your life. I thought that would be the greatest agony in my wretched existence. I never knew I could be so mistaken... The greatest torture shall always be that I doubted you; I doubted your integrity. For too many seasons, I have lain awake in bed struggling to figure how you could betray me, and now I discover it was I who betrayed you. _

_I listened to the sound of another breathe; allowing myself to imagine it was you lying peacefully next to me. At this moment, I find that I did not even deserve that right. I gave up my rights where you are concerned. You told me once that nobody could see the future. I sure as hell would not have envisioned this. I opened myself to you, and now have paid the ultimate price. I look back on the three years together with both love and hatred. Love for the time we spent as one, the sensations we shared, and for emotions I felt back then. Hatred for the feeling I am experiencing now. The sense of abandonment is overpowering, it fills oneself to the point of self-destruction._

_Someone said it was better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all. He was a fool. Maybe I was quiet back then, or maybe I was shy. Nevertheless, that was my world, my existence, the life that I had decided upon. Would I be worse now had I not met you? Maybe. Hyne knows had you never chanced upon me, your life would have been better. Rinoa, you never deserved someone pathetic like me. You should have had the fairytale life, the prince to sweep you off your feet. I am solely to blame for you not experiencing the life that should have been yours…the husband, the children you dreamed of, and the family you so desired._

_When I was a teenager, I did not believe in destiny. Now I cannot deny it, for its merciless plan has been cruel to us. Had we not met, I would have never known this inner pain, this anguish. We both would have been better off, had our lives never crossed paths. As I say those words to myself, even I do not believe them. I am nothing without you. For a few brief years I was complete, I cherish every one of them. I know you are out there somewhere. I have nothing left to give here. I know the truth now and I must find you. Forgive me Garden for leaving, deserting my post. Forgive me Quistis for the emotional abuse suffered by my hand. I was heartless. Forgive me Hyne for whatever I do next._

Squall sat at his desk, taking one last look around. Fate had led him to this moment, to this resolution. Garden would run smoothly with Xu in charge, it always had. Opening his desk drawer, he removed a washed out picture almost five years old. Petty items like photographs never seemed important before she left. After she vanished, it was his only physical proof of her existence…or at least the only one he could bear to look at. A single picture of them together, was all that remained. He had no personal possessions in his office, never felt the need. Such things seemed unprofessional and trivial at best.

The assembly in Deling City would be starting soon, as the World Council convened monthly. He vowed this to be his last public betrayal to Rinoa Heartilly. More importantly, his last betrayal to everyone he cared about. He finally could admit to himself, as much as he tried not to, he still cared about others…_and_ _about her_.

* * *

"Do you know what this implies? I will be charged for concealing evidence, for crimes that were never committed."

"How did you get this?" demanded Seifer. "This alone could get you killed, if not by the council, definitely by Squall."

She clasped the cloth napkin and its contents within her delicate hands, "I…I bought it."

"Bought it! What kind of answer is that? You'll have to come up with something more convincing than that! Squall will want a believable answer for this. Where could you have purchased this? Why in the hell didn't you tell anybody?"

"Seifer…" She fought back the tears forming in her eyes. "Would you believe I was trying to help her?"

* * *

Irvine entered Zell's dorm, the martial artist was busy packing his duffle bag. Being on a mission with Zell was a welcome relief. It was almost unheard of to assign top SeeDs as partners. Actually, SeeD _never_ sent two ranking officers together.

"Why do I have to go to Fisherman's Horizon," grumbled Zell. "That place is creepy, I don't think they like SeeD very much."

"You're very observant," countered Irvine. "I think the fact they don't like us, _and told us so_, gives it away."

"Yes, but I wanted to talk to Matron before I left about…well about some personal stuff. Now I'm going on some wild-goose chase for someone who probably won't be there in the first place. Don't get me wrong, I want to help find the kid, but I'm just more into fighting than investigating."

"…Investigating," repeated Irvine. "You're right, why would they send us to investigate? Why wouldn't local officials handle this? Why SeeD unless…"

"Unless their expecting a fight," Zell grasped after listening to the gunman. "They_ are_ expecting some sort of conflict over this child. This is more than a nanny running off with a kid, if they think it could end in some kind of battle."

Irvine sat down on the edge of the bed. "You wanted to talk to Edea about the visions?"

"Dreams!" Zell fired back. "They are dreams, nothing more."

"Sorry Zell, didn't mean to touch on a sore subject. Selphie told me what she could about it, said you would fill me in on the rest."

"Yeah, I guess we'll have plenty of time on the train to Timber."

* * *

The main chamber of the World Council was full of international delegates, men and women fictitiously putting on the pretense of aiding their nations. Each emissary wore attire native to their countries, formality required at meetings. The only common motive among the politicians was now, and ever shall be, _power_. Power was absolute. The Garden Commander had methodically become the right hand of Lucifer, himself. Squall Leonhart sat next to President Mitchell, the bastard was the mortal equivalent to the devil. Squall had never trusted the man. Instinct alone taught him to understand people's ulterior motives. The thought Rinoa knighted the deceptive leader, weighed heavily into his unadulterated hatred at the time.

This was the first time that the_ alleged_ indiscretion entered his mind. Hyne, he actually believed she had been intimate with that man. Even Seifer did not believe the accusations, yet Squall had. His mind remembered pictures he tried to forget. Believing the lie made it easier to hunt Rinoa, the betrayal gave him cause to hate. It is easier to kill persons we hate, than ones we are afraid to love, especially when we deny our emotions. Never had the old adage _keep your friends close, your enemies closer_ echoed so true. Jefferson Mitchell was an enemy; this man sacrificed many innocent victims, all in the quest for his goddamned absolute power.

As the council secretary recited the minutes from the previous meeting, Squall's attention drifted. He was the devil's right hand, a puppet from the first gruesome battle. In his dress uniform he looked the part of commander, in his mind he had resigned the position last night. The council could not know, if not for him or Rinoa, but for the sake of Quistis. She too was a marionette in this tragedy, nothing more than a pawn to both sides. Listening to bits and pieces of the summary, Squall paid careful attention to matters dealing with the sorceress. Last month he believed every word of their carefully orchestrated lies. Now his life had become the ultimate paradox, his purpose was different. He would give his life to protect her, willing to die for her, as he had promised a lifetime ago.

The floor was now open to new motions, as officials vied for the right to speak, only one was granted the privilege. President Mitchell spoke, "Council leader yields the floor to the prominent gentleman from the Galbadian delegation, General Caraway."

The Galbadian General had not changed much over the years. In fact, much as Squall, he withdrew from most society activities, attending a minimum number of events, required by the council. Squall noticed the visible stress on his face, mirrored the inner turmoil. If there were one person who could understand the madness, it would be him. Yet, they were different.

Caraway rose from his chair, walking toward the main podium.

"I wish to speak of the latest sighting of the sorceress. It seems to me, someone is purposely misleading us. I believe the individual knows the truth of my daughter's whereabouts and is outright lying."

Squall jumped to his feet in anger, "General Caraway, I don't like what you are implying. I suggest you actually ask a question or yield the floor."

"You are quick to assume that I speak of you, when in fact, I did not name anyone."

"Don't take me for a fool Caraway. Your intent was clear," retorted Squall.

"I'm not the one who took you for a fool; my daughter did a sufficient job of that. Am I correct _Knight Leonhart_?" Caraway smugly countered.

President Mitchell could feel the loss of control on the situation. He ordered both the general and the commander to take their seats. Unfortunately, for him only the latter fielded his request.

"Maybe she used me Caraway, but she learned from the best. I believe that your wife Julia only considered you a poor substitute for my father."

Squall believed the outburst to be over, relaxing slightly. Much to his surprise, Caraway walked toward him without a word. Unexpectedly, he punched Squall in the jaw, briefly disorientating him. Security apprehended Caraway, quickly escorting him out of the building.

Squall sat in shock, holding a tissue to his bloody lip. The last thing he expected was Caraway punching him in front of the council. For such actions, Caraway would be expelled and even disciplinary actions within the Galbadian Army could be taken.

The balance of the session remained uneventfully. Squall thought only of leaving Deling City, getting far away from bureaucrats. Honestly, he had no idea of where to start the impending search, nor if he would succeed. Yet, Squall had to try. Seifer may have the knowledge of where to start, a beginning was far better than an ending. Maybe the man had some detail overlooked before. Again, he winced at the concept of relying on his long-standing adversary.

* * *

Two hours had passed, the council meeting should have concluded. Caraway sat in his study painstakingly going over stacks of documents. When one was revered amid the armed forces, Galbadian security can be effortless. Many soldiers actually commended him on his actions today, as Squall Leonhart was not amongst the popular of Deling. Past actions were not easily forgotten among the enlisted men, the last Sorceress War was still fresh in their minds.

Now the general found himself carefully studying financial requests, remarkably unbothered by earlier events. The mansion was quiet which allowed him clearly to hear the intruder in the study.

"You hit me."

The man never took his eyes of the file he was evaluating. "Yes, I did. Thought I would add a little realism. Not expecting that were you? It is a known strategy for military counter-intelligence."

"Don't ever do that again Caraway," lectured Squall.

"I'll do whatever the hell I want commander. Last time I checked, I was the elder, and you needed me."

Squall reached in his jacket for a pack of cigarettes. As he was about to light one, the general reprimanded him, "Don't smoke in my house Leonhart."

He continued to ignite the cigarette, inhaling deeply. "I'll do whatever the hell I want general. Last time I checked, I was stronger and your daughter needs my help."

The general did not press the issue, "I don't appreciate when my calls are not answered, especially on your private line."

"I understand Caraway. Personal issues…it was unavoidable. I apologize for sending your man back to Deling on erroneous information. Did he uncover anything new?"

"No, just there are four different investigations that continue. He's not worth the Gil we're paying him, only duplicated the encrypted telegram that you sent. Although, I find it peculiar that a new informant shows up, after two years. Do enlighten me on the matter. I'm not one who likes to be kept in the dark. Is this guy trustworthy?"

"For some reason, I believe his intentions are honorable. The man needs redemption as much as I do."

"When am I going to be introduced, if I have to front the cash?"

"There will be no money needed. He is doing it for Rinoa. As far as meeting him, he informed me yesterday in Balamb that he would be here."

"Who the hell would do this for Rinoa? Nobody she knew would be capable of gathering information without capture or having a major stomach aliment."

"Nice to see you too General Caraway," Seifer smirked. The former knight stood leaning smugly against the entranceway door.

The older man stood up in astonishment, "What in the fucking hell is he doing here?"

Squall made a corporeal attempt to stand between the men - a symbolic endeavor more than anything. Looking directly at the elder Squall tried to dispel the tension, "Caraway this is our new informant, listen to him. I understand how you feel. I'd like to beat the living shit out of him too." Squall looked away, almost ashamed of his defense of his dark counterpart. "But we are the same now. We both need salvation, at any cost."

Seifer walked into the room, shaking his head at the older man.

"I thought you might be happy to see me general. We did get close a few years ago, you could have been my father-in-law, had fate allowed."

"_Never_. Telling you to stay the hell away from my daughter does not count as _close_ Mr. Almasy. The closest I ever came to you was watching security heave your sorry ass out onto the street. Filling her head with dreams, illusions, and ideals never achievable by a proletarian fraction…she could have ended up dead because of your influence. Even worse, she could have ended up like you."

"I think I'm flattered," sarcastically retorted Seifer. "I suppose this means you don't want my help?"

The general stepped in front of the large picture window. The streets of Deling were full of residents freely going on with everyday lives. Happiness is an illusion for those too ignorant to see the truth. Fine…he would listen to this deplorable excuse for a human. Maybe he would have something valuable, before spending the rest of his life in Galbadian custody.

"I loathe you, but loathe Mitchell more. Talk now, but no promises."

"I wasn't asking for promises Caraway," Seifer snidely remarked. "But, I have information that will help."

Squall appeared puzzled. Something about the posture of the man was…confident, more than his usual self-righteous arrogance. Seifer might actually have substantial information. The man had given him a note in the boathouse, requesting the audience at Caraway's. Yet, the day before, he acted as if he didn't know that Squall and Caraway were working together.

"Seifer, do enlighten us."

"Sure Commander Puberty…man I miss our little heart-to-hearts." Seifer could feel the tension in the air. He wondered which one would physically assault him first, neither was the poster child of self-restraint. "Fine, we all knew there was someone else running a personal investigation on the sorceress' disappearance. I uncovered the source. More importantly, that person would like to consolidate our resources."

"Who else would have an interest in Rinoa?" challenged Squall. Seifer held his breath, as an individual appeared in the doorway.

"The person who feels responsible for her disappearance," a voice softly replied.

All three men looked toward the informant. Only Squall reacted visibly troubled, "Quistis what the hell are you doing here?"

She continued into the room, disregarding the looks from both Squall and Caraway.

"When I was young I believed that people were morally decent. After joining SeeD, I had a new outlook on humanity. I watched men kill, sometimes for pride, sometimes for sadistic pleasure. I have seen the worst of humanity. Somewhere along the line, I lost myself, no one particular moment, no one particular incident. Time takes away the caring, and leaves in its place an empty void. The challenge we face is the realization that humanity is flawed. Admitting past mistakes, and begging forgiveness from those we wronged. Squall, I know how you feel about me, I feel the same way about myself. I was weak…I was human."

He did not move, he did not breathe. This was his wife standing before him, yet she was the stranger she had always been. They both had sinned. They both carried the burden of guilt. Last night he felt as if he could have killed her with his bare hands. His calloused hands stained of blood too many times, what difference did one more insignificant life make? Today she seemed helpless, she seamed exhausted. Quistis was slowly dying before him, if not in body, then in spirit. They shared the culpability; they should share rectification.

"Quistis it was you?" his rough voice spoke with an element of sorrow. "You continued a search for…_the sorceress_?"

"Yes," she replied remorsefully. "I had diverted some personal funds, trying to gain any leads. A year and half ago I…I found somebody who had seen her, but she passed away before I could get more information. I had a creditable lead at one point."

"What kind of lead, where?" he asked. She didn't reply. If she could have cried she would have, but tears escaped her for too long. She held a delicate cloth napkin in her hand, trembling she walked to the man, once her husband. Placing the soft fabric within his rough hands, her fingers lingered over his…unsure.

"I'm so sorry Squall. Please forgive me. Keeping this from you was wrong," she quietly said. Regretfully she released her fingers from his, "Please."

He looked down and slowly undid the fabric. His heart stopped at what the implications of this could be. He could not look at Quistis; he could not breathe. Holding the metallic objects tightly he managed to choke out, "Is she dead?"

"No." Quistis charged firmly. "Not that I'm aware. I…I've had this for over a year. I just was afraid…"

"_A fucking year_!" he screamed. "You kept this from me? How in the hell could you, what gives you the right?"

Seifer stood glancing at Caraway. The ex-knight made a slight head gesture toward the door. The general eyed Squall and then Quistis. They did need time to talk, but he too wanted to know how _Instructor Leonhart_ acquired the memento, far too many memories to keep from emotional ties.

"We'll leave you two alone, but I also want to know how you ended up with Rinoa's… My daughter never removed that ring from her neck. She never parted with it since the presentation during Julia's memorial service."

Quistis did not acknowledge him, as nothing would break her commitment to the truth. Squall had to understand, she was only trying to help…at least in her mind. The two men left the room. Stillness filled the mansion, as an eerie heaviness weighed in the air.

"Squall, I don't have any right. I just wanted to help. I knew you wouldn't believe in my intentions."

"You're right. So how did you get these? It has…it has been too long."

Unclasping his fisted hand, he revealed the shiny platinum objects. Just as he remembered them from long ago, a time when he held the person who wore them, when they lay majestically upon her chest. The sight of Griever practically made him ill. Too many years he adorned the ring, for many years it gave him comfort that people never could. She would have easily parted with Griever after what he had done, yet what of the other? No amount of hate, or disgust would cause Rinoa to part with her mother's band. Something had happened…Rinoa was desperate or in danger. It was that simple.

"Remember when I spent a few months in Trabia?" Quistis started to explain, "It was about two months after the attack on Balamb Garden. I asked for a temporary transfer teaching up there. I…I could not face you or others yet. There was a small antique shop in the historic district, I used to window shop there often. The owner was an older woman, whom I spoke with quite often. Before I left, she passed away of a congestive heart failure. The day I was scheduled to leave, I received a phone call from her son, telling me to stop by the shop. I was genuinely surprised. I didn't even know this woman knew my name, or the slightest thing about me."

Squall did not speak, he did not move. The only visible motion was his forefingers encircling the sterling ring, the one worn by Julia.

"She would have never let this go, no matter how much she hated me. Her mothers ring was too sentimental, her mother never betrayed her as I did," he spoke firmly.

"I know Squall. The owner's son alleged he had found that while going through his mother's possessions. Along with the information about me, my employment, my name, and precise directions to give the necklace to me if something happened. The son didn't possess the same compassion as his mother. Let me have it at a hefty price…almost thirty thousand Gil. The son knew it must have significance. In order to raise the money, I needed to stay in Trabia. I was forced to stay, while I secured the funds."

"Did he know how the chain came into his mother's possession?" he hesitated, almost afraid to know. Sitting down in a nearby chair, his legs betrayed his mind's commitment to be strong.

"According to the message from his mother, a young girl had come into sell it a few months before. The woman tried to talk her out of parting with it, aware of the sentimental value that must have been attached. However, the girl insisted, she desperately needed the funds. The woman gave her five hundred Gil for the keepsake; it was all the cash in the register. Told the girl to come back the next day and she would pay more, but the girl never returned."

"Was it Rinoa?" a faint glimmer of optimism in his stormy eyes. She may have survived a few months at least on her own; it was more hope than he had in the past two years.

"From the description it sounds probable, just shorter hair. The woman left as much information as she could…based on the idea she would either pay her more, or return the chain to her."

"It was Rinoa."

Squall and Quistis turned to see Seifer standing partially in the study.

"I watched her cut her hair back in a Deling alley. The night _Commander Leonhart_ announced her guilt and ordered the pursuit against her."

Again, Squall found himself unable to verbalize his thoughts, so much, after so little. Rinoa had witnessed the horrific events of that unbearable evening. It was the night that Squall Leonhart sold his soul to the devil, in the form of President Mitchell. The knight abandoned the sorceress, physically and emotionally. He never could deserve absolution, as he could never be laudable. The one that she loved, the one that she trusted had betrayed her, as she was hiding amid shadows. Someone so full of life and love, forced to hide among wretched lowlifes. Seifer had watched her there in…

"What do you mean you saw her?"

"Look, I know how it sounds. I was in no position to help then, not that I'm better off now. Time…time has changed each of us. Over the last two years we have suffered, we have developed through the experience. I didn't know who I was back then, part of me deliberated turning her in for the bounty. I could have bartered her existence for my freedom. However, even I realized their intentions…they were never going to listen to her, they didn't choose to. Officials wanted her dead. Her blood would have been on my hands, if it isn't already."

"Don't say that Seifer," begged Quistis from across the room. Closing the gap, she walked to the wingback chair where Squall was still emerged deep in thought. This was a risk, as was everything she did. Kneeling to his level, she looked deep through his eyes into his bare soul. "Look, I don't know what President Mitchell will do if he finds out, but it's time we all stop running. I just cannot do this without help. I swear my life to Rinoa. I will do whatever needed. Squall we have to find her before Mitchell or the World Council does."

Seifer walked over to the couple, unconsciously resting a hand on Quistis' shoulder for nonverbal encouragement. She turned at the foreign feeling of physical contact. Staring directly into Seifer's eyes, she observed something. A look she'd never seen before, maybe it was determination, or maybe it was reverence. Nevertheless, something there made her smile slightly at her one time enemy. After an exchange between the two, Quistis returned her attention toward Squall.

"Well," she asked with a newfound confidence.

Squall continued to remain silent as Seifer spoke up, "Trabia right, commander?"

"Yes," he finally acknowledged the two people in the room. "Quistis, I can't give your teaching license back, but I can rescind the suspension from SeeD duties. Inform Selphie she won't be departing for Trabia tonight. I need someone at Garden that can be trusted. Irvine and Zell have already left for Fisherman's Horizon on this child abduction case. President Mitchell requested the 'best SeeDs Balamb had to offer' to investigate in Trabia. He will get the commander and his wife. I want Lauren along to do tangible work on the Bennett case, while we are examining other avenues. There is a SeeD transport vessel leaving from Deling to the harbor. Seifer, I don't care what means you use, just be on the ship to Trabia. We leave tonight"

* * *

* * *

**Chapter Ten: Quarrel **

"Yes commander, sir!" Seifer snapped at Squall's orders. "I need to get some equipment before we go."

Squall agreed as the former knight exited Caraway's study. He looked down at the silvery chain interlaced through his fingers. After careful securitization, he placed the chain on a side table, directing his attention toward the woman kneeling before him. Almost uncomfortable, he looked into her deep blue eyes, "Quistis, I was never fair to you."

The warrior was not one for neither apologizes, nor words. Slowly his right hand felt for the familiar pendant that was in his uniform's jacket pocket. Squall removed the thick silver chain from its locality, holding it up to his wife. The familiar large Griever charm swung methodically from his hands. Over the years, he had kept the medallion close. Close…just as he had promised another, although the sight of the lion only reminded him of his missing ring, of his missing life. Yet keeping it close, out of sight, gave him some security. Rinoa had its mate, the only other memento from his younger days. Somehow, the objects bonded them. Sometimes you have to let go, before you can be free. Now, it was Griever's turn to give security to another, to someone else who had endured much anguish.

Quistis Leonhart did not say a word, watching him remove his only other childhood possession from dress uniform. To her surprise, he leaned toward her, placing the chain around her neck. The proud lion now adorned her chest, his coarse fingers lingering on the animal's silhouette.

"Squall?" she questioned.

He did not speak, as he had done so many nights before in their marriage. Yet, this time it was different, they were different. There was an understanding that silently passed between, for the first time she felt his genuine emotion.

She smiled vaguely at the man, reaching for the chain containing the two special bands. Silently, she returned the gesture from only moments before, placing the platinum chain around his neck. Somehow, a weight was lifted from her shoulders, if only in part. They for the first time they had a common goal, a purpose. They had undertaken the first steps of forgiveness. She gazed into his azure eyes, placing her hand lightly on his chest over the rings.

"We'll find her," she whispered. "We'll find her."

* * *

The train to Timber had been uncharacteristically quiet…any trip with Zell, usually was not classified as tranquil. In this instance, he was deep in thought, putting together pieces of a puzzle that would not fit, could not fit. Chance had decided that he would not get the opportunity to speak with Matron, something he genuinely desired to do.

Whether daydreaming or on ignorance alone, Zell lead Irvine to the station platform. He had gone through the routine motions, never paying attention to what was actually transpiring around him. The trains, the tickets, everything was on autopilot.

Irvine, on the other hand, was lost deep inside himself. Studying every comprehensible detail of this case, the cowboy spent the last three hours going over files, checking computer records, and making general notes about the Allison Bennett abduction. Never in his life had Irvine put so much effort into a mission, somehow this felt different… No longer was he searching for armed enemies within a war-torn area, each troop ready to fight to the death. He found the concept of an innocent child captivating. He was determined to return the little girl to her rightful parents, a couple which must be nothing short of hysterical back in Trabia.

The two men sat silently in the SeeD compartment. Unknowingly, each was thinking of different events, in reality, trying to figure out the clues to the same enigma. The conductor announced the departure as the train slowly started moving out of the station, then gradually the wheels gaining speed. After going through the mandatory safety protocol, the conductor announced they would be arriving in Dollet's territory within three hours.

"Dollet?" The realization finally sinking in, "What the hell?"

Quickly he searched for the rumbled tickets in his jean pockets. Attempting to flatten them out, he looked down at the two train vouchers. "Damn it! I got the wrong tickets, I was supposed to get train #827 to Fisherman's Horizon, but I wrote the wrong train number down on the travel request. This is train #427 to Dollet!"

Irvine rolled his eyes. He was not angry, just perturbed at the normally energetic man. This mistake would cost them valuable time, as leads only stayed traceable for so long. They might miss the best opportunity for information. Now instead of rail transportation, it would be more time effective to hire a boat to take them to FH. This did give Irvine time to immerse himself deeper into the case file. Zell, on the other hand, decided to take his anger out in the form of a nap. Sleeping usually alleviated his stress… Right now, he was_ very _stressed.

* * *

The evening air covered the small boat that carried only four passengers and the hired navigator. The man was ingeniously dubbed '_Captain_.' Nonetheless, the boat easily could have accepted more, but inconspicuously was key. Squall procured fake credentials for Seifer, something not usually the commander's style. For all intents and purposes, Seifer was now _Nicolas Jackson_…a SeeD candidate originally from Esthar. With any luck, shaved and dressed in uniform, he could slip by the lax Trabian security. It was not a Galbadian occupied nation, and probably nobody there would know his real name…time had been kind on some accounts.

Squall watched as the small waves crashed into the boat. Darkness was fast approaching, its dragon breath covering everything in sight. Fog made visibility difficult, if not impossible. They would be in Trabia by late morning, and a sensation of foreboding filled his body. Had this not been the break he had longed for…so why the apprehension, the fear?

Squall closed his eyes allowing the cold breeze to sting his face, noticing subconsciously he was holding the pendant within his hands, _her pendant_. She had done this. It was one of Rinoa's little nervous habits, which frankly, drove him mad until they were gone. He would give his life now, just to watch her from across a room, fidgeting with the silver rings. Small sounds of metal colliding…it was a sound he wished to hear once again. Closing your eyes, one can hear anything. The ocean, the birds, or allow the mind to recall another noise, another sound, from a far more peaceful time.

"Did you ever hate me?" A gruff voice asked aloud.

Squall was startled out of his memories, not understanding the intention of the question. "Seifer, I hated you for what you did to _her_." He did not turn to face the man behind him.

"Yeah, well, I hated myself for that too. I was talking about before then, about the summer Rinoa and I spent together."

"I don't know. It was easier to hate her for the last two years. I just chalked it up to the person she really was, not the façade she put on for me, for Garden. It was easier to hate her."

"Don't lie to me. You never hated her, you never could."

Seifer walked next to Squall leaning on the wooden rail.

"No, I never could. I tried," Squall answered back, ashamed of his comment.

"You know, I hated you. I don't know if we would have gone out again, had the circumstances been different, but the idea of Rinoa being with you made me sick. From my earliest memories, it was always a war between us. I couldn't see you stand to win one battle, even if the battle was over her. I hoped she would see you for the loser you were and leave, I never fully comprehended your relationship until later."

"I never fully comprehended it at all," replied Squall in almost a whisper.

"My dreams led to my destruction. I lost sight of everything around, blinded by the power, by the pretense. I wanted desperately to be the revered knight, I didn't care who was hurt in the process." He paused for a moment, waiting for Squall to answer. When he didn't speak, Seifer turned toward his childhood rival. "You had everything I wanted. Sad thing is…you didn't know what you had."

Squall looked at the man, reading his eyes for truthfulness. They had never had a civilized conversation before, and neither truly knew how to react. After the brief contact, the commander turned back to the dark chasm of the ocean.

"Seifer, did she ever tell you that she was in love with you?"

"I knew you cared," Seifer had a hint of a chuckle in his voice. "She never talked about us much I'm guessing, as some memories are easier buried. She was special to me. You know she was my first…"

Squall turned angrily toward the man, "I don't want to hear about that. I am aware of what you two _did_. I just wanted to know…"

This time, Seifer cut him off. "No, okay…Squall you still don't get it, do you? Yes, I may have been with physically, but never mentally. She might have lost her virginity to me, but never once did she tell me that she loved me. I know she cared, but it was never love."

"How did I not know the truth then? If we are supposed to have this wonderful 'sorceress – knight' connection, how the fucking hell didn't I know?" Squall yelled, turning around against the railing.

"Squall, I can't give you all the answers you are looking for. Maybe you were scared, maybe confused, or maybe something in your perfect life wasn't handed to you on a silver platter. Yeah, we all had the same humble beginnings, but that is where the similarities end. Nobody else found out who their parents were and that their father was alive, wanting a relationship. Nobody else was given the responsibility of being Garden Commander at the age of seventeen…still _that one_ gets me. Nobody else was given the chance to be her knight, to be the one that she loved. Maybe you were scared, maybe you relied on people too much, their truths, or at least their versions of it."

Squall could not help but catch the irony of his comment, "I relied too much on others, and didn't think or believe for myself."

Seifer paused for a moment before stepping away from the wooden support, "Squall it is okay to rely on others, don't take it that way. Maybe you found yourself relying too much on Rinoa, yet never telling her. You couldn't commit to her publicly. I heard the rumors around Deling. She wanted to get married, didn't she?"

"Yes…I couldn't."

"Why?"

"I would be too dependent on the idea of her being there. I would be sharing my home with another. I didn't want to hurt her when something happened."

"_Something happened_," Seifer snapped. "Something bad…you always looked at the negative. You were expecting the tragic ending to the fairytale story. How do you think Rinoa feels about you being married to Quistis, to somebody you don't even love?"

"She hates me for it. I hate me for it. Both of them deserve a better life than I could ever provide."

"No Squall. Those two may have had their differences, but each would agree on one thing: you could have made them happy by just being there. I will never have that chance."

He did not answer for a long time, taking note of how much the person in front of him had matured in a five-year span. "Seifer you've changed. If we get out of this, I'll see what I can do. Likely, it will be nothing, as my position at the council will be revoked, as will my command of Garden. The best I can hope for is still having the title of knight. Actually…that is all I hope for."

"Good," Seifer replied smugly. "At least your priorities are straight Commander Puberty. She might want to kill you if we find her. Trust me, it's a natural reaction to everybody that meets you. Don't make the same mistakes again, as I won't save your sorry ass next time."

The commander nodded, turning back toward the railing. He listened as steps descended the stairs to the cabin below. Squall once again felt the salt air caress his face, now scarred more than with a physical wound. He thought of why he wanted to know about Seifer and Rinoa's relationship. She was never one to bring the subject up, yet looking back, it was always for his sake. Rinoa was aware of the deep-rooted hatred between the men, she protected her knight the only way she could, by avoidance.

Squall had taught her well.

He would not go below; he needed the solitude. It had become his faithful friend over the last years. Walking to a single bench on the deck, he rested his tired body. So little sleep the last two nights, so little time to work. He had never been one to convey emotions easily, as past wounds still haunted him. He shut his eyes, calling back a more peaceful time, a more naive time. The day he finally told her his true feelings; no matter how many memories they shared, that day would always be the foremost in his mind. So many nights he recreated the scene, just for a moment, to pretend that everything was still as it should have been…

_One year after the defeat of Ultimecia and the start of their lives together. Every detail, every fact, was still fresh never to be forgotten by either..._

Garden had been running low on essentials, as the onslaught of new cadets had far exceeded supplies and resources. Basic items for refinery were in high demand. The commander had considered several people to run and get stones required to produce certain magic, a prerequisite for every second year cadet. Originally, he was just going to delegate the assignment like everything else, but paperwork had been getting the better of him lately. He was desperate to engage in any sort of battle, even if the victims were merely bite bugs.

A chance alone, a chance to enjoy solitude…

"Do you like the name Allison for a girl and Aaron for a boy?" Rinoa calmly stated. She rested her head against the uncomfortable vehicle seat as the emerald lush countryside passed by.

Squall nearly slammed on the breaks. Rinoa had been chatting almost the entire trip. He had effectively learned to drown out most of her talking, a skill he had acquired over the last year…always listening, still never with his full attention on her. Sometimes Rinoa had a way of well…being Rinoa. He admired her for it, yet sometimes it even got to him.

"What?" Squall exclaimed, taking his eyes off the road to take a quick look in her direction.

"Um…well I was just thinking if we…if_ I_ ever had a child what a good name might be," she replied without ever looking toward him. She knew Squall, right now he was squirming uneasily in his seat. Some subjects terrified the commander, marriage and children would top the list.

"Rinoa, I don't think about having children, I'm nineteen," responded Squall mentally praying to Hyne that she would drop the subject. He knew better.

"Yes, I know Squall, but don't you ever think about the future?"

"Sure I do, I'm thinking right now: if I don't get enough wizard stones today that cadets won't have anything to practice refining magic on. I'm thinking this trip would have gone a lot faster had I just come alone, and I'm thinking that I don't trust anyone who is running for office in Galbadia."

"Oh…yes, we wouldn't want to contemplate anything but work now, would we? It would be a shocking thing if the commander didn't think about something _besides work_."

"Rinoa, even if I was going to think about something…_besides work_, kids definitely would not be it. You shouldn't consider having children." Squall knew that the last statement would be hard for Rinoa to take, but she had to learn to face facts eventually, thinking about a future that would never be.

"What? What do you mean don't _consider_ children, you're telling me that you never want to have kids?"

"Rinoa, I'm saying that you shouldn't think about it. There have only been four cases of a sorceress having a child over the last five-hundred years. The chances of you bearing a child are remote."

She said nothing, for he was right. The Balamb plains were as monotonous and void as ever, and now they even appeared more barren. Rinoa knew the chances of her having a child were faint, but she always held out hope - even if only a little. Tears started rolling down her cheeks as she watched the grasslands pass by. She shielded her face from Squall. Her crying only showed weakness. _Squall hated weakness_.

Trying to hide the sorrow in her voice, she responded, "I know Squall…I just try to think about things positively."

"Rinoa…I'm glad you do, but even if you could have children, I don't really want any." Squall struggled to reply as sensitively as possible.

"Fine, whatever. Sorry Squall, to ruin yet another of your precious days," she tried to conceal the anger in her voice.

They continued in silence until Squall reached the isolated area. The recent indications of a high bite bug ratio would make this go quickly. Now more than ever, he wanted to return to Garden and have this day over. She sat in the passenger seat as he went to the back of the Garden vehicle, unsheathing his gunblade from the case. Logic dictated for him just to leave her sit and pout, yet when it came to her, nothing he did was logical.

She had rolled her window down, allowing a gentle breeze into the vehicle. The arid temperatures could be described as unseasonably hot at best. Yet it was a dry heat, humidity was not a factor. "Look Rinoa, you are not ruining another one of my days. I knew this was going to happen, if you came along. That's why I mentioned it would be easier to go by myself."

She snapped her head, looking directly in his eyes. "Yes, 'Rinoa stay behind.' That always seems to be your answer for everything Squall."

"Whatever," he turned away from the vehicle starting to walk into the forest.

She finally moved out, slamming the door to emphasize her anger. "Oh…yes, you're right that is your answer for everything!"

He stopped. Deliberating what the correct course of action would be. Squall Leonhart was not in any mood to argue, yet if he continued, she would just pout the entire time. _Damned if I do, damned if I don'_t. He inhaled deeply, before turning to face her. "Rinoa, please don't do this now. I have work that has to be done. You're just going to get in the way if this continues."

"Get in the way?" Rinoa looked directly into his eyes, neither willing to back down from their territory. Finally, she squinted in defeat, as the afternoon sun was too much to cope with. "Hyne why do you have to be such a…"

"_Meanie_," he replied mockingly at her.

"Idiot," she yelled, turning around and heading toward the stationary vehicle.

"Wow…a new word, I'm impressed," he said, holding his ground firmly.

"Jerk," she spat, never turning around.

"Two in one day!" he yelled even louder.

She finally reached the rear doors and turned back to him. "Try this on for size, you're a bastard"

"I'm leaving," he announced, shaking his head at his infuriated girlfriend.

"Yes, your family has a great history for that, just ask your dad."

Soon as the words left her mouth, she immediately wished them back. That was low, even if she was furious at the man. Squall and Laguna's relationship was nothing she dared mention. His demeanor immediately changed. Walking quickly toward her, she could see the anger visible in his eyes.

Getting well within her personal space, he looked narrowing his eyes at her. "Don't you ever…_ever_ talk about that." Neither spoke, just glared. Finally he continued, "Our relationship is none of your concern. That's my life, _not yours_. You seem to forget the difference. There is more to my life than you."

Pain stung her. Yes, she did deserve the anger after mentioning Laguna. But she never realized that he didn't feel her part of his life; _his life_ was work, _his life_ was his duty. "_More to my life than you,_" hell when was she a part of his life? Choking back the tears she demanded, "Go get your precious wizard stones, so you can take them back to your precious Garden, and leave me behind as usual. I'm sorry if I'm in your life."

"Well, maybe if you wouldn't always get in the way," he replied.

She did not want to say anything else to hurt him. Childish games had their price and she did not want that to be him, although she never really had _him_ to lose. Gazing at the blades of grass under her feet, she whispered, "Leave Squall."

He did.

The intense heat of the sun was glaring directly upon her. Rinoa had moved into the shade of the vehicle, sitting on one of the metal steps to the cargo area. Checking her watch, he had only been gone twenty minutes, but it seemed an eternity. She played the argument out in her mind, as if watching a rerun of a movie. As usual, she felt to blame. Starting the day off talking about children was not the wisest of moves. Even she knew this.

Over the last year, she had gotten to know Squall better than anyone else did, and she hardly knew the man. He was as much a stranger as that evening at the dance, except now she needed him. It was abundantly clear…he did not need her. Today she stepped over a line drawn long ago, now she would have to accept the consequences. Sounds of something approaching drew her out of contemplation. She momentary tensed attempting to see if it was friend or foe. To her surprise it was Squall, she was not sure which he was right now.

She examined his face as he approached; he looked tired. Then she noticed the lack of wizard stones in his possession. Great. This means he had been thinking, not working. She tried to draw attention off her concern, "You're done already?"

He did not reply to that. Rinoa could feel his form standing beside her, still refusing to look up. For once, '_the mighty lion'_ would have to initiate this conversation. He did.

"Rinoa…_we need to talk_."

Words dreaded for generations. Past experience taught her that clichéd line could never be good. Somehow, a defensive barrier went up, she would not make this easy for him. "Let me guess, you're not ready for a relationship, you just want to be friends."

"Rinoa, please let me talk first."

"Stand back…Squall talks and the whole world goes silent, the oceans part, and small forest animals gather around."

"I don't need this."

"No Squall, you _do_ need this. If you're going to end this…this _supposed _relationship. I have plenty of things to say to you."

"Like what?" he questioned, expression not changing since he had arrived back at the temporary base.

"Like…" she knew this might be her only chance to say these things. He was a captive audience in the middle of the barren grasslands. "Like…I am _not_ part of your life. You never even showed you cared about my feelings. I might get in the way, but I am trying. That's more than I can say for you. I've been staying at Garden over a year waiting for you to come around, show any emotion! Don't get me wrong, you are a very passionate man…when it comes to anything but _me_."

"My work is important," he simply stated.

"Yes, it all comes back to work doesn't it? Trapped in a job you hate, becoming everything you fought all your life to avoid. You've been in that job for a year and you're becoming no better than the politicians I grew up despising. You're not out there on the front lines anymore. You sit behind your damn desk until all hours of the fucking night. When was the last time we even ate a meal together?"

"I don't have to answer to you, you're not my wife."

"No, I pity the person who does end up with you. You're right…I cannot have children, I know that…but I still can dream. It's not impossible. But see, I have hope for the future. What do you hope for _Commander Leonhart_?"

"That I could say a word in this conversation," he riposted with complete sarcasm.

"Fine, go for it. Tell me what you discovered on your almighty quest for the bite bugs, what earth shattering news you have quit your precious work to come back and tell me."

Rinoa turned away dreading to hear the words aloud.

"I love you," he replied calmly.


	3. Inconsistency , Clash, Disagreement , and Difference

**Chapter Eleven: Inconsistency **

"Fine, go for it. Tell me what you discovered on your almighty quest for the bite bugs, what earth shattering news you have quit your precious work to come back and tell me."

Rinoa turned away dreading to hear the words aloud.

"I love you," he replied calmly.

Rinoa could not speak, momentarily she could not move. After a few seconds, registration of the words hit her. She stood from the metal step, walking into the cargo hold of the vehicle. Tilting her head slightly to the side, she sat her body on the brown vinyl bench. Finally, her mind was able to form a word…a simple word.

"What?" she snapped, looking deeply into his eyes searching for answers.

She found them. Rinoa could not comprehend how she had gone from getting ready to tell him off to wanting to hold him, never letting go. He never answered her question, if it was really a question, with words. Squall leaned down close to her face, she was sure he was going to kiss her. Instead, he brushed his lips against her cheeks and starting slowly tracing kisses down her neck. It had been long since Rinoa experienced anything like this. It was something Squall Leonhart did not do. Squall Leonhart did not do a lot.

Rinoa rested her head against the cushion, seats where many a SeeD sat for transit to and from battles. She found herself closing her eyes and slightly arching her back at his feathery kisses. As suddenly as he started, he stopped. Rinoa flew open her eyes expecting him to be running away. Instead, he looked deep through her. They did not exchange one word; words would only ruin such a perfect moment. He took his right hand and pushed some lose strands of hair behind her ears, and then with the same fluid motion, he continued running the hand down her cheek. Slowly he made his way to her black tank top and started caressing her shoulder. The summer heat left them both sweaty, but nothing compared to the inner emotions, the feelings within their own bodies.

When he had been fighting, heat forced him to remove his shirt, tying it around his waist. She smiled back and looked at his bare chest, slowly running her fingers along his muscles. The sensation was one that was foreign to him, allowing someone truly this intimate. He knew one thing. _He needed her._ Cid once warned him that when a knight and a sorceress were to make love, it was a bond, a union so strong…it could never be broken. This fact always weighed heavily on him. For that would mean much more than a physical commitment, but also one of a complete spiritual nature. For over a year, he had held his sexual urges at bay, afraid of the end results. However, with the thought of losing her, _of truly losing her, _Squall thought of nothing more than desiring to strengthen their connection. Yes, he did do thinking on his trip, just not the way she envisioned. Most of it involved her not having clothes on; he was prepared for this. He wanted this.

He gingerly moved his hand off Rinoa's shoulder and sat down on the cushioned seat beside her. Taking both hands, he slid them gradually down her waist, never once breaking eye contact. Squall slowly grabbed the sweat-damped tank top and carefully lifted the garment above her head. She continued smiling at him, never abandoning his eyes. She lowered her mouth to his chest, trailing kisses along his right shoulder. He gently reached both hands around to her back, outlining her spine with the tips of his thumbs…from her neck down to where her bra tightly fastened. The feeling of the contact made her tremble; the emotions were dreamlike to her. He tentatively worked at the clasp, trying not to break their closeness.

After a second, she giggled looking up at him. Giving him a quick kiss on the lips, she pulled away and effortlessly undid the restraining bra. He sat fascinated with her every move, every one registering different effects on his body.

"You'll get used to it," she teased still not releasing the bra from her shoulders.

"I know," he quickly replied pulling her closer to him.

This time it was her turn to surprise him as she quickly sat on his lap, putting one leg on either side of his waist. He watched as she let the bra fall, exposing her breast. For a moment he sat mesmerized, never have experiencing anything like this before. She leaned forward to close the distance to his mouth; the bare feel of skin, almost too much for him. Never in his life had he thought about this _actually happening_, dreaming and fantasizing, yes. Honestly, not one of his fantasies ever included a dirty Garden vehicle. Ironically, the same one he'd taken on his SeeD exam. Right now, everything was perfect and truth be told, he would not have changed a thing.

Before Squall knew, her mouth was upon his. Not the exploratory little kisses she would return when he attempted any sort of awkward contact. This was full-passionate kissing and she wouldn't have altered a thing either. Squall held her tight, arms wrapped around the small of her back, and then he started trailing kisses down her neck once again. This time not stopping, continuing on to her breasts. She arched her back to allow him easier access to her chest, all the time trying to keep from moaning…the new sensations were miraculous. After a few minutes of teasing, she leaned back towards him, again finding his mouth. He slowly guided her back down onto the vinyl cushions.

He was slightly surprised that she again took initiative in the situation. Squall could feel her hands fumbling around his belts. She was struggling. He could identify the frustration. Part of him wanted to make her wait, but the other part knew he could not wait much longer. Finally, he reached down and undid them with ease.

In between kisses he stated, "You'll get used to it."

Rinoa drew him nearer, seductively whispering in his ear, "I know."

The phenomenon sent shivers through his spine. Never in his life had Squall Leonhart wanted anything more than he wanted Rinoa Heartilly.

For in that moment in time, in that instance of life, they became one - bonded further than mere mortals, a relationship understood by few. They entered into a commitment each would never genuinely understand until years later, until circumstances would test loyalty and love. Nevertheless, _in that moment_, they were one. Squall looked deep into her eyes, attempting to place clumps of matted hair behind her ears, gently kissing her cheek with every attempt. They stayed silent for what seemed all too short, neither wanting the peace to end, neither wanting the moment to end.

Time was not on their side. He was expected back…with wizard stones in hand. Right now, he had collected not one. Squall winced at the concept of moving, but made a mental note never to forget this moment. The feel, the sight, and the smell of strawberry shampoo in her dark hair, every detail was perfect.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I love you. I knew what you wanted earlier, and I didn't care how you felt. Rinoa, I don't need children, I just need you. If you want a child, there are always other options. You needed support and I couldn't provide it. Somehow, the talk of commitment…of family, it scares me. I don't know what the future holds, but the only thing I do know is that you will always be a part of it."

"You love me," she almost giggled at the foreign sound of the words.

"Yes…really you don't have to sound so surprised," he countered with a rare smile.

She pulled him gently into a deep passionate kiss, and then breaking it off as she ran her hand through his sweat-covered hair.

"I love you too," she replied looking deep into his soul.

He gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before sitting up, putting his legs back on to the floor.

"Come on, I don't want to leave you behind. Will you help me gather some wizard stones?"

She nodded in agreement, as they gathered up loose articles of clothing, strewn all around the vehicle, even _outside_ the vehicle. They continued to dress in silence, when fully clothed Rinoa walked over to him, taking her hand in his.

"Squall."

"Yes," he replied.

"I'm…sorry for what I said about your father. I didn't mean it."

"Look, what he did was wrong. I would never abandon my family…"

* * *

The flames roared in the small cabin on the Trabian content. The crackles of t logs falling off the fire made her jump out of the trance. The memories of that day would always play over and over, it was so right. _They were so right_. Standing up, Rinoa set the stray logs back into the fire with the poker. Remembering precisely the words that Squall promised to her on that day, "_I would never abandon my family._" The thought almost made her nauseous…he lied. The irony of the situation was almost humorous. Not only did the son become the father, but also son surpassed father. Laguna would have never turned on Raine. Rinoa was sure of that fact. Squall could have learned something from the loyalty his father possessed, but hoping was all in vain.

She checked the fire one last time before grabbing the small pillow and blanket from the dusty bed. The flames offered her warmth and comfort. Rinoa would sleep next to it for two more nights. She had to buy time until the next transport vehicle, and hiding in the woodlands was perfect cover. SeeD would be in Trabia, a risk she was not willing to take. Somehow, she had to make it to Dollet, to find Alexandra. She had to protect Ally at any cost…even her own life.

* * *

_When given the simple choice of yes or no, I made the wrong decision. Somehow, I truthfully thought that a 'yes' could transform my life into the fairytale I had dreamed. Squall learned to love…now he could learn to love me. For too many years I watched him grow, watched him mature. I fell in love with the boy, never the man. I saw him as the child who still desired protecting, who still yearned for nurturing. I was wrong. I saw him today for the first time. I saw him through the eyes of an adult, not that of an infatuated adolescent. _

_I failed, simply put. Rejection is the hardest part of life; it is human nature to avoid failure. We are taught as children to do our best and that will always be good enough. That is a lie, an illusion created by those around us to hide our shortcomings. Nobody aspires to fail, nobody attempts to fail, yet signs of failure are all around us. Every rejection, every denial drives us deeper into personal solitude. The secret is getting out before it buries you._

_Learn from it…move on. But to what do we move on to? That is the unsolvable question. When one has spent their entire life on what turns to be a fantasy, for Hyne's sake, search for the inner strength…and just move on. As much as it hurts, as much as it stings, and as much as you want nothing more than to breakdown, just move on._

The former instructor sat on the little bed, not fit for even a single occupant. The maritime way of life was foreign to her, as was any other form of existence outside Garden. These crafts were nothing but transport vehicles for military personal. Usually employed by the Galbadian government, the amenities, at best, were meager. It did not carry the luxury as many vessels did, small cabins barely capable to hold the quad bunks. There were still enough rooms on board to give each of the four travelers a separate room. Yes, she was sure that would be questioned later on, as rumors were presently a way of life.

The obscurity outside the window only mirrored the feelings in her heart, like a doppelganger staring back directly to her soul. The Griever pendant was heavy around her neck, but the weight was a welcome sensation. Occasionally she moved her fingers to where her golden band should be…a sign of past memories. Quistis pulled her long hair back into a rubber band, permitting an unobtrusive view of the files scattered around the single bed.

Something didn't feel right. Whether it was the events previous days, the overwhelming barrenness, the Bennett assignment, or a grotesque combination of the three she didn't know. What she did know, nonetheless, was that things would be different; her life would be different. Picking up the pieces would be hard, but she was strong. She still held the designation of SeeD, right now that her only comfort. Quistis lifted her head as she heard the sounds of footsteps on the grated metal passageway outside.

Not waiting for the formalities of knocking, Quistis yelled for the unknown shipmate to come in. Lauren opened the door apprehensively at first, before making eye contact with the cabin's occupant.

_"Well,"_ Quistis mused to herself, _"she is the lesser of three evils."_

"Instructor Leonhart," the girl began, before being hastily interrupted.

"Quistis," she corrected, she was no longer a teacher, nor would have the title of _Mrs. Leonhart_ a great deal longer.

"Oh…okay Quistis," Lauren stated slightly bewildered. "I just received a wire from Garden. We've been informed that Renee Bennett passed away this afternoon."

"Oh Hyne, poor woman. She never got to see her daughter again, before…before she passed away."

"Yes, I was thinking how hard that must have been, not to mention how her husband must be suffering. First, their daughter was abducted, and now his wife is no longer by his side. He must be miserable."

"Lauren, you're precisely right. I couldn't envision going through two such traumatic events. The files state his wife had been ill for sometime. I guess the anxiety was too much on her."

"The World Council wanted to notify us that they are stepping up the investigation. I wanted to give Commander Leonhart the communication."

Quistis turned back to the shadowy window, "If you're asking me where the commander is, I don't know. My guess would be out in the freezing cold, that's just a logical assumption knowing him." The brown-haired SeeD started to close the door. "Hey Lauren," Quistis asked as an afterthought. "Why are they stepping up the investigation now, after his wife passed away? Shouldn't they have had a full-scale investigation before?"

"I don't know Inst…_Quistis_. I just received the wire from Selphie. Maybe the council wants to make sure Richard Bennett has something to hope for."

"Yeah, I would presume you're right. Just seems that calling both Trabia and Balamb Gardens for an abduction case seems…well very nonstandard protocol. I guess it helps to be a sitting delegate on the World Council, those bastards have nothing better to do than intervene in others lives."

Lauren knew better than to ask details, respect taught her as much. However, she did question Quistis' meaning in the last statement. After the younger girl left the compartment, she returned to examining the files that lay on her bed. Now she had a renewed interest not only to find Rinoa, but also to solve the kidnapping case. Quistis could think of no greater loss than that of a child, even her situation seemed inconsequential in comparison. Again, she heard footsteps echoing on the metal walkway. Figuring that Lauren forgot something, she was assuming the door to open once again…it did. What she did not expect, was the man standing in the narrow hallway.

"Seifer…" she said animosity in her tongue. "Didn't anybody teach you to knock?"

"Yes, but now what fun would that be?"

"You're a jackass," she rejoined pulling papers back into the main file.

"It's always a pleasure to see you too, _Mrs. Commander_."

"Seifer…_don't_," she begged wordlessly with her eyes.

He walked over to the bed. It was too small for one individual to sleep comfortably upon, yet appropriately sized for two to be seated on, if one didn't want to sit up straight. He reached his right hand to her shoulder, looking genuinely into her eyes.

"I'm sorry Quistis that was uncalled for."

She smiled at him, though only for a slight instant. "Can I help you with something or did you just come by to make my life miserable?"

"Actually," he said smirking at her, "you didn't come up for dinner. Although, _dinner _would be an overstatement for this floating tin-can. More like rations given to military prisoners, bread and water would've been more appealing. But I…I didn't want you to go hungry so I brought you this."

He handed her a small red apple, avoiding eye contact.

Quistis giggled slightly, "Seifer, I didn't know you cared. Little old to be bringing an apple to the ex-teacher."

"Whatever."

"Oh not you too…I think one verbally challenged person in my life is all I can take."

"What about Fujin?" Seifer joked.

Quistis laughed. For the first time in god knows how long, she _actually_ laughed.

"I stand corrected Mr. Almasy…two verbally challenged people in my life are enough. Honestly, what brings you by, kinda out of the way to come down here? Figured you and Squall would catching up on all those lost years."

"Yeah right, I'm sure he has _so much_ he wants to share with me. Actually, I just left him to mope on the deck. I'm sure that will take up most of his evening unless he makes time for sulking, brooding or pouting."

"Why Seifer, why after five years did you come back?" she asked with complete seriousness on her face.

"I don't know. Sure wasn't for 'Mr. Personality' up there. Guess I wanted to help, I have a lot to make up for."

"So after Rinoa vanishes, two years later you show up out of the blue, just when the council is stepping up its investigation? Seems inconsistent to me, is there something else we should know about, another motivation bringing you here?"

"Nothing that you would understand….or in reality, believe," he trailed off diffidently.

"Try me Seifer. Think I would believe anything right now."

"Um…well," Seifer was uncomfortable. Even Quistis could tell his apprehension on the topic. Her first thought was one she fleetingly found herself getting distressed over - upset or jealous, truthfully didn't matter.

"You're still in love with Rinoa," Quistis said flatly. "Join the club."

"I'm not in love with Rinoa," he corrected with abrasiveness. "I might still _care_ for her, but I can undoubtedly tell you, I'm not _in love_ with her. Somehow, when you spend five years alone, or practically alone, you think back on the events in your life. Mistakes from years past, mistakes that hound your every waking moment and your every dream, it can be devastating."

"I understand," she spoke sympathetically. "I understand all too well."

"It's the dream part that always seems to get me in trouble." Seifer tried to make light of the situation, "If it wasn't for those damn dreams all the time. First, it was to be a sorceress' knight, at any cost. Now, the dreams are more vivid, more real, not really about any specific title or role, more concerning salvation and redemption. I can't give details. I just know that Squall, Rinoa, you, and I are part of these visions. I think we are working together, fighting some species of dragon. Don't ask me about the beast, I couldn't accurately describe it. It is nothing like we have ever encountered before, or anything known in the bestiary world. All I know is…it is unadulterated evil. The monster is bronze in color, yet the eyes are piercing black. A black so evil, that the orbs steal the very life force around them."

"Is it something from another dimension, another time, like Ultimecia?"

"No." The concern notable on his face, something that would upset such a man must truly be revolting. "I don't know what it is or what it represents. For some reason I feel that it more a chameleon amongst us; it thrives solely on the agony of others. I can't explain the sensation, even if I wanted to."

"Seifer, are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine. I just wish that the damn dreams would end, I find myself unable to sleep at night dreading the nightmares to begin. I just want the torture to end. Something has brought me here, of that I'm convinced."

"I'm sorry. I know what it's like to live with such nightmares, although mine are more manifested by the guilt eating away inside. I understand this now. I lay awake at night replaying all the events; figuring out what I could have done better. How I could've saved Ellone, how I could've saved Rinoa, and how I could've saved myself."

Seifer stood from the bed tracing his thumb across Quistis velvety skin, as if wiping away tears that did not come. He smiled vaguely. "Two days ago on the beach in Balamb you said that I didn't know what it felt like to be in love with somebody who could never love me back. Maybe I do."

"Rinoa?" she questioned aloud, although internal hoping for another answer. She didn't know why, rationalization was not part of emotion. Something inside her felt comfortable with this man, a sensation unlike any she felt before. Maybe circumstances brought them together, two lost souls trying to find deliverance. Two lost souls looking for the home they never had, in a world completely unique to each.

"You really are stuck on that subject, aren't you? Let me tell you now that not everybody is in love with her. There are other people out there. I guess it just takes everyone time."

For some unknown reason, even to her, Quistis rose slowly from the small cot. Seifer's hand still on her tender cheek, silently she raised her hand to his face. How long had it been since someone allowed her to touch them, to get close to them? How long had it been that she wanted to touch someone else in the same way? Before reason caught hold of her senses, she closed the gap between them, tenderly touching her lips against his. Finally, he could not wait any longer, passionately deepening the kiss. She remembered an ecstasy long lost and forgotten, a feeling so overwhelming that all practical judgment vanished. He too feverishly returned the emotion, pulling her body closer to his.

* * *

Lauren found Squall sitting on a bench, close to where Quistis had believed. He was lost in the stars, memorizing every bright fleck in the sky. Looking for signs of possibility, a long escaped sign of destiny, fate had lent him the gesture many years ago. The fog lifted several kilometers back, revealing a blanket of speckles on the dark cover of night. The air was chilling; the closer to Trabia they would get, the more dramatic the change of atmosphere.

"Commander Leonhart," Lauren spoke with conviction. "I have received a wire from Selphie."

"Go ahead."

"Renee Bennett passed away this afternoon. The council wants to step up the investigation. Many members will be attending the funeral on Friday. Currently, they want to double the number of all active SeeD on the case, they have asked for Balamb to send in further aid."

"Did she suffer?"

"Sir, _suffer_?" Lauren questioned before the context of the commander's statement was grasped. "Oh, Mrs. Bennett…I'm sure she was in pain from the illness, but they would've given her medication to alleviate the pain."

Squall nodded. "But not nearly as much as she suffered from the loss of the one she loved, no drug could counteract that." Squall stood from the bench, momentarily having to regain the sturdiness in his legs. An ephemeral thought crossed his mind, _"Why would they double the efforts upon her death? Why not before, insuring coverage?" _Just as quickly as the thought came, he placed it back into the recess of his mind. "Dismissed, Lauren, now go get some sleep."

The tiny stairway in the boat was both awkward and uncomfortable. Squall found himself having to turn sideways and duck to avoid hitting the overhang above. These ships absolutely were not designed for any other purpose than transportation for large number of troops…_short troops _at that. He found the cabin Quistis had been assigned, opening the door. For an instant, he was immobilized in shock. Words escaped him for the briefest of seconds as he stared at the two intertwined figures. Not being one of tact, or good at problematic situations Squall announced, "Seifer when you are done with my wife, I need to talk to her." He closed the door still trying to burn the image from his memory.

The two had broken the kiss somewhere during the interruption; neither noticed when the commander walked in, or how long he was actually present. Seifer looked at Quistis struggling to read the expression behind her eyes. The moment was one awkward and nerve retching. The blonde woman finally broke eye contact with the metal door, looking back at Seifer.

She laughed.

Seifer, unsure how to react, stood silent until Quistis reached forward drawing him into a hug. She placed her head on his chest, all the time still laughing. He finally gave in to the irony of the situation, as he too, started laughing returning the warm embrace.

* * *

The train gently rocked back and forth in a smooth rhythmic motion, lending itself to aid in the sleep of weary travelers. Although it was only eight o'clock in the evening, the long journey had worn them out. Irvine finally had drifted into a light sleep as Zell snored aloud. The martial artist's sleep that was like any other night. In an unconscious state, he began the terrifying chain of events that he learned to dread the last months.

The dream occurred in the same fashion as any other time, the Balamb plains, the crystal blue pond, and the blood, so much blood. Every detail chiseled in his mind, every fear recalled when he awoke. The dream, _the visions_, had merged into his waking moments. Zell could essentially picture the events with undocumented accuracy, even when he was awake. Finally, the last events of the tragic scene played out in his state of slumber. He welcomed the escape that allowed him to join the conscious world. Waking up with a jolt, the train hissed as compressed air was applied to activate the breaks.

However, this time _was_ different. Never had the nightmare been so early, the clock would always read 4:27 in the morning. The red neon numbers became a small comfort after the images. It was always the first sign of reality. This time, there was no digital numbers and no electric clock. He shook his head trying to get the traces of sleep out of his mind, as he felt a slight tickle on his foot. Somewhere during the trip, the two ticket stubs had fallen down, causing the slightest pressure on his sock. His first thought, leave the tickets, someone was paid to clean up these things…let them earn their wage. However, good manners prevailed as he reached down to properly throw away the trash.

If by destiny, as if by fate, he chanced to glance down at the stubs…something caught his attention. A numerical replacement for the digital clock, the tickets listed the train number as 427. Zell had been the one who had purchased the tickets for the wrong train. A sudden feeling ensnared his body, indescribable at best. No longer being controlled by his own thoughts, a force seemed to be guiding him as he shouted to Irvine.

"Oh shit, Irvine this is it! I found it!" Zell screamed wholeheartedly.

Irvine woke from his sleep, giving the martial artist a look of repugnance, "Found what?"

"I don't know, but I know it's here!"

"Great…really."

Zell jumped from his seat as the train parked at the station. He found himself pushing the hoards of train passengers out of the way, heading for what…_he didn't know_. Pedestrians were cussing at him, several even pushed back. Zell would not tire from his quest, whatever that may be. He reached the forward most compartment, scanning the car thoroughly. A woman was disembarking from the train, and the conductor was helping her to the station platform. He could not see her face, only the auburn hair. There was something familiar about her, something drawing him.

He opened the closest emergency exit, setting off alarms and bells throughout the passenger compartments. Running the direction the woman headed, suddenly he stopped as soldiers closed in. Galbadian troops were in Dollet now…during a time of supposed peace, guarding the train station at this time of night? Then it hit him, like a pursuit that abruptly ends after months, years of searching. He was _meant to be here_, fate decided this.

He continued on forward, taking note of the military positioning within the station. Turning his head around to scan for Irvine, he ran unexpectedly into someone. He started the ritual meaningless apology, and then he saw _her_, the same woman he had seen on the train. Then he saw _them_, the soldiers gaining on her position raising arms. Then he saw the _child_, the baby carefully cradled protectively in the woman's arms. _Allison_.

* * *

* * *

**Chapter Twelve: Clash **

What if everything you trained for, everything you spent your life achieving lead up to one defining second. A cumulative riddle of everything you have ever done…one significant instant, one opportunity for the correct decision. Pieces of a puzzle without a diagram, a road map drawn but not understood. Zell stood at a crossroad, would the answer be achieved in time? Bits and pieces of images, of events playing through his subconscious mind over the last few months…somehow, he was a key.

He saw the child sleeping soundly in Alexandra's arms. He felt the soldiers gaining on him and heard their yells to stand back; he heard their warnings and a surreal feeling enveloped his body. One of the Galbadian militia held his weapon in place as the other continued forward. They too were searching for Alexandra, and for the child, _for Allison_. He watched as the woman's brown eyes turned with a look of sorrow, of remorse. Zell was close to reuniting the child with his rightful parents, he could taste the bitterness in his mouth. How could any human steal a child? That was not the act of compassion.

Without hesitation, the martial artist grabbed the sleeping infant from the woman, as he vowed no more harm to the innocent baby. The abductor was not expecting the apprehension and with the current state, Alexandra was in no situation to run. She could not fight. She knew the risks and was more than willing to take the chance. She collapsed to the pavement in defeat, as Zell took several steps back. Irvine walked to his partner's side, watching the drama unfold. The advancing guard walked up kicking the woman, _hard_.

She looked toward the now awake child whispering, "I'm sorry Allison."

Looking at the little girl in his arms, Zell held her tight. The abductor did not show any signs of remorse, only of failure. If he had wanted this to turn out as it had, why did he feel such distress? Then he noticed the second soldier still pointing his gun, nodding to the first man. The man grabbed Alexandra by the hair, pulling her to a standing position. The second guard signaled back, an unspoken understanding passed between the two Galbadian men.

Wondering why the soldier was not lowering his weapon, the martial artist examined the female assailant already in custody. Then he saw it. Something not visible the first time he ran into her. Something amazing. A small golden chain had dislodged from her blouse, during her struggle from the station pavement. These men were not there to _retrieve_ the child…they were there to _kill _Alexandra. Zell quickly handed the baby to Irvine, who stood confused at the sudden movement by his unpredictable partner.

Zell watched in slow motion as the soldier cocked his gun, ready to execute her. He jumped across in front of Irvine, kicking the weapon out of the man's hand, and watched as the weapon sailed under the parked train. Managing to knock the soldier down, he ran to assist the woman, who was still in shock. Irvine felt helpless holding the child, trying to keep her protected from the drama.

The other soldier turned his weapon toward Zell as he leapt forward. Feeling the sting of the bullet in his shoulder, the adrenaline alone kept him on the attack. He knocked the second guard down dislodging his weapon. Alex quickly grabbed the gun pointing it at the soldier.

"We have to get out of here!" she screamed. "Get Allison!"

Irvine still held the child and grabbed a bag that the woman had been previously carrying. Zell continued to ignore the deadening pain in his appendage, grabbing Alexandra's hand with his good arm. They continued out of the train station, ending up in a small alleyway.

Irvine handed the child back to the woman as he checked his comrade's wound. Finally, he was able to question, "What the hell are you doing Zell? Don't you know what you just did? This woman kidnapped a child, and we just helped her."

"No Irvine," he gasped out of breath, "this woman saved a child and we helped her."

"What are you talking about?"

Zell smiled slightly through his agony, pointing to the chain on the woman, "Look."

Irvine turned to see the necklace, on the chain hung a small ring. He leaned closer in the dark passageway.

"Oh Hyne."

The only words he was capable of verbalizing aloud when, he too, saw the delicate golden copy of Griever.

* * *

"You wanted to see me?"

Squall tossed the cigarette overboard as he turned to her. "I wanted to let you know there are going to be several officials arriving in Trabia in the next few days. Renee Bennett's funeral will be this coming Friday. I thought that Seifer should be cautious, but I didn't know at the time he was under your _personal protection_."

"Squall don't," she implored.

"Quistis, I really don't care," he spoke back, ostensibly emotionless about the subject.

"Thanks, it just kinda happened."

"Yeah, that _kinda happened_ thing can get you in trouble sometimes."

"I'll be careful. I'm a big girl, I don't need protecting," she countered.

"Never said you did. I wanted you to be the first to know that I have made the decision to leave Garden. No matter how this turns out, no matter if she is alive or dead. I cannot be one of _them_ anymore. No more games, no more lies."

Quistis strolled over to the railing, chills running down her spine from the night air.

"I would tell you not to, but honestly I see no need for me to remain there either. Where are you going?"

"I guess that depends on how this plays out. I have to stay in command as long as possible. What little information I do get, could be fundamental."

"Squall, do you think she is dead?"

"No…I honestly believe that I'd know if she was. Seems outlandish, but actually, I feel that she is somehow close, closer than the last two years. Hope she knows I am looking for her. I hope she finds me."

"I'm sure she will Squall."

* * *

The night came and went…such was the cycle of life. The subsequent morning was clear, but a possible storm had arisen off the western coast. Trabia appeared like any other day, nothing special, and nothing unusually. The death of Renee Bennett, wife of the most powerful man in Trabia, had only been yesterday. Hopefully, they would have a full day of investigation before unwanted company arrived on the frozen continent.

Squall scanned the horizon as the boat slowed to dock. The internal gears vibrated the entire vessel as the engines halted operation. The city had its charm, if one could find it under the layers of bitter snow. He was not much one for the piercing cold, not much one for the isolated settlement.

The re-growth of Trabia Garden brought commerce to the small mining town. In addition, the accidental discovery of underlying petroleum weighed heavily in recent developments. In five years time, the small town had tripled its population tenfold, labor the main attraction to most, the prospect of wealth to others. Richard Bennett was the latter. Squall recognized him from the council meetings, but never had taken the time to know the man. That is if Squall ever took time to know anyone.

Actually, he was quite surprised that the dignitary had a wife and child, very little was spoken about that subject. The SeeD's first order of business would be going to his home, offering the required diplomatic condolences.

"How do I look? Always wondered what one of these things would feel like. Lemme tell you, I'm not impressed," Seifer chided walking up from below the wooden deck.

He made a gesture at the SeeD uniform he was presently adorning, blending in amongst the others.

"I never thought I'd live to see the day you would be wearing a SeeD uniform Seifer Almasy. I think this is truly a sign of the end of the world," Squall snarled back.

"Oh Commander Leonhart, I do believe that was a joke. A bad one at that, but I still give you credit for trying. Hello, let me introduce myself, according to my identification tag call me _Nicolas Jackson_. Not too much on the creative name side are you Squall?"

"What the hell do you want anyhow, _Nicolas_?"

"Well, here to tell you that Quistis and Lauren are ready to go ashore. Lauren will be heading the questioning on the kidnapping front, so that will leave us free for other research."

"Bennett lives close, not much more than a block."

"Squall, I'm not chancing the meeting with him. Lauren agreed to go with you. Quistis and I are going to check out that antique shop where she purchased the rings. Oh, for what it is worth, don't trust Bennett."

"Why do you say that? Seems to me that he is going through a grueling situation right now, my sympathies are with him."

"Your sympathies are ill placed then. I know snakes…I _slither_ among them. Just telling you that man isn't what he appears. I don't trust him."

"This coming from you? I didn't believe there would be anyone lower than you to look down on Mr. Almasy."

The four assembled at the Trabian waterfront, going over last minutes directives. Squall felt the inexplicable need to reach the home of Richard Bennett. He said scarcely a word to his partner, but the commander was not known for small talk.

The residence was considerable in size, equivalent to Caraway's mansion. The home was newly built, not more than two years old, which would coincide with his election to the council. For a humble town, such a home seemed out of place with its ornate rod-iron gates and security alarms. As Squall neared, he took notice of the stables on the east side of the property with a vast wooded area surrounding the buildings. Several thoroughbred Chocobos stood outside; no doubt, this man had dabbled in breeding.

One of the servants opened the large door, seeing their uniforms he immediately offered them entrance into the mansion.

"Commander Squall Leonhart of Balamb Garden here to see Richard Bennett," he spoke in the most dignified voice possible. The servant was about to announce the arrival, when a sudden boisterous voice roared from the stairway.

"What the hell are you doing here Commander Leonhart?"

Squall recognized Lord Bennett immediately, a title bequeathed upon his family by the last reigning royalty of Trabia - now an all but forgotten lineage. The councilman was easily ten years older than Squall, dark hair and threatening eyes. The man unquestionably did not seem pleased to see the commander, which was a conundrum onto itself, when his child was missing.

Squall recalled the statement Seifer had made earlier, it abruptly flashed through his mind. He concurred that there was something odd about the situation, about this man's attitude. The commander was surprised at how quickly he had changed to a defensive position after Bennett's question, instead of the offensive one that would have been the norm for interrogations.

"Delegate Bennett, I was sent by President Jefferson Mitchell to oversee the search for your daughter."

"My wife passed away yesterday. I have no time for your questions," the man countered.

"Sir, we are well aware of that. The World Council and the Republic of Galbadia offer their deepest sympathies. I will not keep you long. We just were here to inquire about your former employee Alexandra Williams."

The older man walked toward Squall, who was still bewildered at his actions.

"You want to hear about the bitch and _my_ daughter? Ask your fucking SeeDs."

"Excuse me sir, with all due respect…don't _ever_ talk to me like that. I don't understand where your hostility is coming from, but do not take the anger out on me or my men."

"Then tell me why your damn men were seen with her yesterday in the Dollet Dukedom? Not only did they _see_ her, they hindered the rescue of Allison, _my daughter_," he spat in Squall's face.

"Sir, I'm sure your information is inaccurate. None of my men are currently located in the Dollet region."

The older man opened a file, handing the baffled commander a photograph, visibly taken by a security camera. Squall found himself stunned. On the print, unmistakably as black and white, was his investigating team members Zell and Irvine, the latter holding what appeared to be a child. Zell was seemingly dragging a brown haired woman through the multitude of train depot patrons.

"Now get the hell out of my house Mr. Leonhart. You, or SeeD, are no longer welcome here," he threatened ferociously.

"Lauren," stated Squall diffidently. "We are leaving now."

Turning toward the door, the commander held the surveillance photograph within his hand. Nothing seemed logical. Zell and Irvine might have been reckless, but aiding and abiding a criminal was well beyond their means. If they were in fact protecting this woman, they had a damn good reason. That truth he knew. Opening the door, the servant motioned for him to leave the premises. Squall attempted to exit the mansion, but was caught off guard when Richard came up behind him, grabbing his arm forcefully.

"You touch my daughter and I will kill you personally. When I find your two men, let me ensure you, they are _already_ dead."

Squall Leonhart, no matter the situation, did not take kindly to intimidation, nor did he like being grabbed in such a manner. Particularly by a man in such a psychotic state, a man he thought SeeD had come to Trabia to assist. He instinctively seized Bennett's arm, spinning him around, and pinning it securely to his back.

With success, the man was being held captive, completely powerless. Richard Bennett was no match for the strength Squall possessed, especially when extremely infuriated.

"Touch me again and I will kill you where you stand. Touch my men and they will identify your corpse with only the aid of dental records." He released the man with such force, such vigor, that Richard Bennett lost his footing and crashed hard upon the marble floor.

Squall never felt such rage before, as he did at the present moment. This man, this_ monster,_ was pure evil, if ever a death was justified, this would be the instance. He had faced foes before, yet somehow this man was different. Something about him made his skin crawl, made his soul twist in agony. Why would such a simple encounter unleash such odious emotion? Squall never felt such hate before, not even towards himself…or from the loss of Rinoa. _Rinoa? _

Lauren quickly walked out behind Squall, never lifting her gaze from the fervent commander. She had worked for him over a year, and never had she witnessed such an outburst of emotion. As Bennett's servant slammed the door behind her, she called to Squall, determined to understand the reason for the sudden confrontation.

"Commander Leonhart, what was that explosion about?"

For a brief moment his mind played a malevolent trick upon him, he turned toward Lauren catching sight of her dark matted hair, sticking out from under the winter cap. Whether it was the state of mind, or unconscious foreboding, he answered her angrily, "Rinoa, please don't ask me questions right now, you know better!"

He froze.

What the hell did he just call her? He never made that mistake…**_ever_**.

The female SeeD stood faintly bewildered, yet not interpreting too much into the slip of tongue. More than one person had informed her of their similarities. She shrugged the mistake up to something said in anger, something misspoken while caught up in emotion. Yet, this man showed little emotion up until a few days ago. Ironically, it was on the two-year anniversary of the sorceress' disappearance.

His mind was racing.

"Lauren I…I…" He could not continue, he could not explain.

Shaking his head he looked at her…what a fucking mistake after two years. He closed his eyes tightly, attempting desperately to regain any semblance of order. It failed. Emotions, feelings, all resurfacing after so long…for the first time in years, he couldn't control his own thoughts. His heart was racing, his head spinning. What the hell was wrong? He couldn't think clearly, he had to get away from everybody right now, this girl who looked so much like…_NO!_

Lauren watched as the commander grabbed his head, a look of disorientation engulfing him. Against better reasoning, she reached for him trying to give him some reassurance. Even she knew it was the last thing he sought. He recoiled at the gentle touch, reacting as if it was poison liquefying his flesh.

"Don't," he demanded. "I have…I have to - goodbye." He spoke with bemused voice.

She watched as he started rushing toward the isolated wooded area. At first, she started after him, afraid for his volatile condition. Squall could easily out run her. The snow only decelerated her steps, each with more burden than the last. Lauren couldn't help him; she couldn't reach him. Even if she had, there was no logical course of action to help…only Squall Leonhart could help himself.

_"Goodbye commander,"_ she whispered into the bitter Trabian air. Not to anyone particular, just to the arctic wind that stung her face.

* * *

Two SeeDs walked the sparsely populated streets of Trabia, each with a mission, each with purpose. Neither spoke to the other, neither knew what to say. Tension filled the cold and heavy air as they kept their eyes focused straight ahead. For blocks this continued, the safe thing was to ignore what had happened, each was good at pretending, each was good at forgetting.

They walked until Quistis pointed to a small shop. It was not great in size or particularly appealing on the exterior. Yet, the small shop somehow had an aura of invitation, an allure not seen. Finally, the silence was broken when Quistis spoke in a business like fashion, "This is where I purchased the chain."

"Oh, you decided to speak to me? I'm so honored," he cautiously retorted.

"Who said I wasn't speaking to you? I just didn't have anything important to say."

"Alrighty then _Mrs. Puberty Boy_, sorry to mention it…thought maybe you felt a little uncomfortable about last night."

"Why would I feel uncomfortable?" she naively tried to ask, failing miserably at the attempt. "I'm not the least bit uncomfortable about it."

"Good," he replied with an arrogant smirk.

"_You_ should be the one who feels uncomfortable…for what you did."

"What I did! I'm pretty sure it was a mutual thing. I sure as hell didn't hear you complaining."

"I…I wasn't complaining. I just was confused at the moment, that's all."

"Oh so it was a mistake? Something you didn't _mean_ to do? So it would never happen again, right?"

"Yes," Quistis spoke firmly.

He smiled taking a small step toward her, and then tenderly pulled her close to his body. She tried to protest, she tried to fight. In her mind, she was yelling at him to stop; in her heart, she was hoping he would go through with it. Her heart won out, as she felt his warm lips brush against hers. The cold air was such a contrast to his hot breath, a strange, but beautiful sensation. Although this kiss, not as passionate as last night, was filled with more emotion, more meaning. The realization that she was kissing Seifer Almasy, in public, astonished her.

When they hesitantly parted, he grinned looking directly in her blue eyes, "I thought so."

Quistis remained wordless on the snowy street, endeavoring to catch her breath from the moments before. When reason returned to her mind, she looked at him questionably, almost fearful. She found the courage to ask the question that she was afraid of being answered.

"Seifer, I want you to tell me the truth. Please, don't lie to me. I can't take it. Who…who were you picturing when you kissed me? Whose face was it?"

He wanted to hold her. She looked so vulnerable. He knew what she was asking; he knew the soreness that scarred her very soul. He slowly raised his rough, cold fingers to her cheek. Her eyes meet his, a gaze so deep that he thought she could see right through him. She could.

His thumb traced the outline of her jawbone as he quietly spoke, "Quistis, I pictured you, it was _always_ you."

She wanted to weep, she wanted to hold him, but priorities prevailed. She smiled at him wearily, "Thank you, Seifer, thank you."

He returned the smile with genuine emotion, "Come on, let's go inside. I don't want you catching pneumonia out here."

* * *

Squall Leonhart no longer felt in control. For the first time in twenty-two years, he was lost, not only physically but also spiritually. He felt the overpowering need to get as far away as possible, yet he could not comprehend the reason. He had run as far as his legs could take him before the desire to breakdown in the drifting snow overwhelmed him. The standard issue SeeD coat was heavy, but nothing could protect him from the freezing wind-chill.

He managed to stagger to a tree before collapsing on the earth below him. There was a battle going on within his body. Did he want to live with the hurt or did he want to fall to the piercing snow below, slowly letting excruciating death overtake his body. How far had he wandered from civilization, estimating he had walked for an hour in the frigid weather?

The fallen man had to get up. He had to trudge on, if not for him, _for her_. She deserved it, what kind of damn knight dies by something as unceremonious as freezing? He had to get back to town, to shelter. The motion of standing was unbearable. He could scarcely keep his eyes open, exhaustion was starting to prevail.

"Hyne help me," he rasped as the artic air filled his lungs. "Hyne…help her."

His arms and fingers were going numb. He had to continue or face certain death. Feeling a slight tug at his coat, he first believed it nothing more than a figment of his imagination. Then the sensation was felt again. Stinging eyes turned toward the source and he was shocked to see a single chocobo staring at him.

The large bird nuzzled against the warrior, like a mother protecting its young from the grueling elements. In a sardonic sense, Squall felt relieved at the companionship, even in the form of an overgrown bird. He grasped his gloved hands to its feathers, returning the heartfelt gesture as he brushed bits of ice from its wing. Then with a renewed burst of force, he mounted the bird, appreciative for the method of transportation.

Chocobos had a known sense of direction, and one could stake their lives on the species reliability. In a way, Squall Leonhart was doing just that. The only known Chocobo Forest was approximately a kilometer from the Trabian borders. He could manage the remaining distance on his own.

"I'll name you Lucky," Squall ruminated to his feathered companion. "For one time in my wretched life, luck seems to be with me."

The bird carried him over snow-covered plains and dense forestland at speeds unmatched by all enemies. Somewhere along the journey, Squall had fallen asleep on the creature. He awoke with a sudden jolt as the bird stopped abruptly.

"What is it?" he questioned looking around the immediate vicinity.

He spotted a small cabin as flurries started falling heavily from the graying sky. He shook his head in utter disgust about not returning to the Chocobo Forest. "Come on," he implored as the bird blatantly refused to budge. "Ignore that comment about being _Lucky_," he spat to the immobile bird.

Deciding the bird would not move, he dismounted pulling his coat over him tightly avoiding the snow whipping around his frame. Squall looked back at the chocobo that for some unknown reason, decided to make nest in the snow.

* * *

She looked at her watch again, as time had a way of standing still, waiting was a painful game. Still it would be over twenty-four hours until she could return to town and board the cargo vessel. Rinoa grabbed the deck of cards again, shuffling for the hundredth time. It was the only form of entertainment in the cabin. Thank gods for small favors, as the cottage was well stocked with canned goods and bottled water. Whoever owned this place also was also obsessed with beef jerky, the cupboards contained a plethora of the preserved strips.

The fired roared, embracing her in a restful hug. There was no life threatening temperatures in here, only the comfort of warmth. She started placing the cards for another round of solitaire, which she would undoubtedly lose again. As she placed the last card on the table, she could hear a branch breaking outside. Immediately, being used to taking on the role as prey, she went on the defensive.

Quietly going over to the small frosted picture window, she observed the forest outside. The snow was forming circles in the wind, which resembled that of small dust devils. Through the crystallized pane, she could see a form emerging from the blanket of white. As it grew closer, her worst fears were confirmed, SeeD. She knew that standard coat anywhere…fashion was never a top priority at Garden.

How did they find her she wondered? Yet the answer painfully obvious: because they were looking. Unfortunately, they were good at their job. She ran to the small pantry, searching for any form of defense. Then she unsheathed a hunting knife, the blade was only three inches long, but that would do the trick. She never wanted to hurt anyone, ever. On no account would she have wished this situation upon her worst enemy… But she had to survive, _for Allison_, at any cost.

There was a loud knock at the door, maybe they would just give up and leave. However, she knew that was an unrealistic thought, as there were no buildings within miles. If one ventured this far into the woods, it was definitely for a reason. She would do her best to hinder the SeeD, but worse case scenario…she would be forced to kill. She never imagined herself possible of such a traitorous act…to kill the ones she once defended. Time had moved on, irony was spiteful…and now it was up to her.

Standing cautiously behind the door, Rinoa waited silently for what would come. If only she had a Guardian Force junctioned, if only her powers had not laid dormant for so long. She used most of her strength on that little stunt with Richard. Now desperate, she wished that energy had been conserved. The lock was being picked…again, standard SeeD protocol. They were still so predictable, even after two years. The door gradually opened as the hooded figure stepped in.

Rinoa stood, her back firmly against the wall, waiting for the door to shut. As soon as it closed, she took a slight step forward raising the blade. Somehow, the person sensed her presence, attempting to face her quickly. With what strength she could muster through her shaking grip, she plunged the knife downward as the man turned.

The attacker closed her eyes as she felt the blade stab through the coat, and then another sensation as the tip reached human flesh. She could hear the sound of knife entering the skin, tears formed within the corner of her eyes. She felt the assailant stumbling forward, as she stepped back toward the false security of the wall. With guilt clouding all logic, she regained the ability to open her eyes.

She died at that moment.

As Squall turned to close the door, he saw something move out of his peripheral vision. He saw the flash of silver…training had taught him to protect himself. On instinct alone, he turned so the blade would enter his upper arm, missing all vital organs. He felt the knife slice through his shoulder, wanting to shout in pain. However, he could not scream as he lost his footing, falling toward the attacker. Then he saw her, at that moment he could no longer feel pain, but felt _alive. _

He watched as she dropped the bloodied knife, pinning herself to the wall. He saw as the tears rolled along her beautiful cheeks, he saw when she opened her gorgeous eyes, and then he saw her eyes meet with his…for the first time in two years.

* * *

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen: Disagreement **

If ever a circumstance in history was so poignant, so complicated it was the one facing the two figures standing within the woodland cabin. Fear, hate, and love entangled in one solitary moment; one so significant, so essential it could never be described in mere words. Two years and a lifetime of pain, all leading up to this second; one insignificant grain of sand falling from the hourglass of time.

In a moment, _that moment_, his heart felt complete an emotion lost so long ago. She was alive…more than alive, she was beautiful. The pain of the open wound was far overshadowed by the feelings emerging from his inner being. So many mistakes, so many lies, and so much they both had lost. Searching her eyes, he realized that he never stopped loving her, no matter what she had been accused of, no matter what she really did. That love would never diminish.

In a moment, _that moment_, her heart felt the occasion bittersweet. For so long she dreamed of seeing him, touching him, and of making love to him again. Yet the realization that she could never truly be with him weighed heavy on her emotions. She would not let herself go through that again, and she would not be the weak child that needed saving. She was a mother now, and that simple fact took precedence over her own desires. As strong as they may be, she could not admit her needs.

For moments neither spoke, neither could. The motion of him falling forward disrupted the tense situation, as he covered his shoulder with his hand. The blood was flowing; it mixed with the white snow that covered the coat.

"Squall," she pleaded not with her voice, but in her eyes. "Oh Hyne, what have I done?"

"I'll be fine," he delicately whispered back, the words having more than the obvious relation to the lesion. He continued stumbling until she reached out her arms and gently helped him to the rug-covered floor. Rinoa started taking the coat off him without a word, never looking him in the eyes. Gently she applied pressure to stop the blood flow.

"Squall I…I really didn't know it was you."

He didn't answer her, all he could do was study every motion she made. The pain from the cut, the pain from seeing her was still numbing his senses. She looked slightly older, yet more elegant. Her hair was shorter now, no longer flowing freely. Instead, the look added maturity to her age. The golden streaks were gone, only solid brunette covered her head. She looked despondent, at the same time she looked frightened. There was something about her that he could not place, something different. Then it hit him…her innocence was lost, stolen by _him_ years ago.

"Do you have any magic on you?" she asked tranquilly, avoiding any eye contact.

"Yes…" he hesitated, "I have a few spells."

He put his hand to his right shoulder and closed his eyes. Silently he cast a cure spell on himself, as an amethyst ember glowed around the wound. Through his shirt, Rinoa could not make out the actual wound, but thankfully, it had avoided all major organs. She did not kill him. As the aura faded away, she turned her head…this was going rip her apart yet.

"Squall, if you're here to kill me, just get it over with. I can't do this any longer…but I must ask one thing of you before you do. Consider it my dying wish."

He found it hard to speak. She truly did believe him capable of murdering her. That is exactly what it would be murder…not justice.

"I am not here to kill you."

Slowly she regained her composure, pulling herself up into a standing position. She faced away from him, walking to the small picture window lined in ice-covered crystals. "Then why are you here? It's your job to kill me for what I did."

He stood up not attempting further physical contact, "What did you do?"

"I got lost Squall. Lost in a world that was not mine…that is all I ever did, lose myself in a world not meant for me. I never found my place in this world. Squall…I can't do this. Please just do what you have to."

"Fine, I _have _to get answers," he almost demanded. "I want answers."

* * *

"You're right Quistis that man was a complete jerk!" Seifer said stridently for the owner of the little shop to hear, as he slammed the door. The two colleagues walked down the streets as fresh snow concealed all indications of the pedestrians that walked before them.

"Unfortunately, some things haven't changed over the last two years. He is just as much of an asshole as he was back when I lived here."

"Yes, an uncooperative asshole at that. I speak from experience."

Some things could displease Quistis, even in their current situation. She stopped walking as delicate clusters of snow united with her uncovered face. She didn't care as the flakes melted upon contact with the warmth of her skin. Seifer had a lifelong ability to put himself down, an attribute drawn out at a very young age. Although with him, it was more the defense only those searching for could perceive. Those who only wished to rival him, look at him as the enemy, would never note such insignificant phrases. Yet she had. Over the course of her life, she had noticed his behavior…his little habits. Even if she cared not admit that, not even to herself. Now circumstances were different. Somehow, she found strength through him. Something that had been abandoned for so many seasons.

"Seifer, Please don't do that."

"Do what?" he inquired at the woman's suddenly change in demeanor. She looked more like the instructor he had remembered from his teenage years, ready to lecture or reprimand one of her students, _usually him_. It was a look that had not changed itself in the last several days.

"You always find a way of managing to put yourself down. You are not an asshole… You might have had some _issues_ in the past, okay some _major issues_, but people change…even you. I don't think of you as that, moreover, I don't like to hear you say it. For some reason it bothers me. We are in this together, and we are in this to help."

Someone cared. For one time in his atrocious existence someone truly showed affection toward him, genuine feeling. He could tell. He wanted to express his gratitude, yet the simple words escaped him. Ironic how similar he and Squall could be on the ability to show ones true self to others. Seifer reached out his gloved hand to her, and she looked up to him, confusion evident in her eyes. After a moment, she glanced back to his hand and hesitantly reached to meet his leather glove. As their hands contacted, she could feel a sudden rush capture her entire body. Seifer carefully laced their fingers and pulled her tenderly toward him. Encircling his other arm around her back, he pulled her into a complete embrace. Her warm check lay upon his chest and she could feel the dampness of the snowflakes mixing with the heat rising off his body. Even in the subzero temperatures, she felt warmer than in all her life.

"I'm sorry," Seifer murmured. She could hear the vibration of his chest when he spoke.

"It's okay."

"I guess I did have some major issues back then, but what about that guy in the shop?"

"No Seifer, _he is an asshole_."

Chuckling he continued to hold Quistis in his arms. "Tell me again what happened with his mother and how she knew of you two years ago?"

Closing her eyes, the snow turned to small ice pellets as she recalled the events mentally. "Mrs. McCay was the sweetest lady you could ever imagine, she would always be outside watering the flowers or just wishing people well…always willing to help. I remember stopping to talk with her about various things: weather, the growing volume of the city, trivial matters like that, nothing special."

"Did you ever have any conversations that would explain why her son would dislike you so much? Even after one of his mother's dying requests was to give you Rinoa's necklace."

"No really…I don't think we talked about anything or anybody."

Quistis opened her eyes as the sleet stopped in that precise moment of time. As her eyes regained focus, she glanced up at a small bulletin board affixed to the antique shop. She silently read the billboard and a memory immediately came back to her.

"Oh…once we talked about _him_."

She broke the security of his touch, raising her arm to point at the election propaganda hanging on the brick surface.

Seifer turned around. "_Re-Elect Richard Bennett for the World Council - A vote for Bennett is a vote for the future. _Well the guy sure is not very original. I guess Squall was his campaign manager in his spare time. That guy creeps me out anyhow, sorry about his wife and child, but he is a creep."

"Yeah, that is what Maude…I mean Mrs. McCay and I talked about. He had just married about a month before I got here. She said that nobody even knew he was dating. Thought the whole thing was very scandalous, but then it came out that his new bride was extremely ill. I guess the universal consensus was Bennett did it out of loyalty or something."

"Or something…" Seifer spoke bitterly, "That man never did an honorable deed in his insignificant life. All that power is wasted on such a fool. I'm sure that man only married someone who was dying to get his grubby little hands on her large trust fund, or for the publicity that would come from his 'unselfish' deeds."

"Well there never was a picture of Renee Bennett, so I'm sure it wasn't for the publicity. I'm guessing you're right about the trust fund…a boundless supply of money to subsidize his extensive campaigns. It's truthfully sad that she passed away before SeeD found her daughter."

Seifer stood motionless. He recalled the words spoken earlier in the debriefing on the Trabian dock. "The search has doubled in Trabia," he finally stated aloud.

Looking at the man who stood in front of her, his eyes were filled with what appeared to be the smallest of tears and a glimmer of optimism - almost a look of contentment. "What are you thinking Seifer?"

The light flurries continued to fall in his hair. Seifer smoothed it back with his hand and let out a veritable laugh. "It's too easy…_it's too damn easy._" Lowering himself to the ground the ex-knight may have found the path to redemption, holding his side as the laughter continued to fill his body. No the situation was not that of a humorous variety, but emotions manifest themselves differently among humans. Seifer was never mainstream and neither was his exhibiting of emotion.

Quistis moved toward him, bewildered at the events unfolding in her presence. "Seifer are you okay? Do you need um…need a doctor or something?" Bending down she placed a hand on his back, smoothing out imaginary wrinkles in his trench coat.

"For once in my life Instructor Trepe-Leonhart, I'm fine. Quistis this is it…you just found the missing piece to this entire horrific puzzle."

"Richard Bennett's dead wife?" she asked uncertainly.

"His _wife_ is no more dead than you or I. That's why Bennett doubled the search, not for the child…for his _missing_ wife. A secret that now may come to light. Something a deceased shop owner knew, _and hid_, from the unjust world until the timing was right, a clue that you held all along. The shop owner's son wasn't an asshole, he was scared…there is a difference. I understand now. The key was the woman married to Richard Bennett. A woman by your own admission _never had been photographed_ due to her illness…or supposed illness. A well-known politician suddenly marries without so much as public date, there wasn't a trust fund…it was always for power. Power in the eminent form known…"

As if being hit by a sword from iron giant, the realization dawned on her. Quistis fell to her knees, as if asking for forgiveness to the deities above, a voice decreased to that of a whisper left her lips, "a sorceress."

* * *

The cabin was deathly quiet, a sound that can be remarkably deafening. She stood troubled, allowing the gusting motions of the snow to hypnotize her into a false sense of strength. She found courage to confront the man who publicly swore to the world…her demise.

She hit the wall with her hand out of anger, before returning her gaze to him…the one now standing in front of her. "Answers, you want answers from…_from me_!"

Rinoa dared to take a few steps toward him. It was no longer the calm meeting they had encountered only minutes before; she was no longer the clichéd _deer stuck in the headlights_. Now years of emotions were conflicting in her very psyche, years of trying to repress memories now seemed in vain. This man, in five minutes time, had made every attempt of disregarding those passions futile.

Squall refused to show any sign of outer weakness, internal was another story. There was so much that needed to be rectified, so many answers to questions he had not dared to ask himself for the eternity she was gone. Squall Leonhart would not back down. He wanted answers, and by the gods, he would get answers.

"Yes, I want answers," he challenged, taking a step closer as a counter measure to her previous advance. "Why the hell did you ever leave Garden…_leave me_?"

"Leave you? Maybe because you were going to slaughter me, I can't think of anything better. Can you?"

"I was chosen to lead the hunt for the sorceress. You would have been taken back to Deling to sort out the details."

"_The Sorceress_? That's what I am to you, _the sorceress_. You cannot even utter my name…not once since you barged in on me have you even addressed me by name. Does it upset you that much to say? I already know why…stay detached so it does not hurt to execute your adversaries. Do not think of them as people, only as potential threats. Isn't that straight from the SeeD manual, Squall Leonhart?"

"Fine, _Rinoa_, we'll play it your way. I would have helped if you, _Rinoa_, had allowed it. We could have gone through this together, _Rinoa Heartilly_."

"Don't you say that…don't you fucking say that," she screamed at him. "I saw you in Deling. I saw your expression. Tell me that you didn't believe I killed your sister in cold blood. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you thought I was innocent."

She approached him, daring to get within a meter. For the first time since the initial meeting, she made the conscious decision to look at him directly. Their eyes locked, she refused to be made the fool of, not after all of this. It could have never been so simple, or goddamn it, she would have tried. His eyes looked exhausted, looked in anguish, she could read them so well, even after all this time.

No longer could he take the intense guilt, as he broke the contact...silently leaving her with the answer she already knew. "I thought so Squall." She walked over to look at the fire, feeling the sanctuary of its heat. "It was an accident," Rinoa confessed softly to the flames. "Why did nobody clear me? Others knew the truth."

Squall dreaded this question. How do you tell somebody that his decision was based on a falsehood of somebody they both had trusted? The hell Rinoa must have endured, but it needed to be asked, it needed to be answered. Squall slowly walked behind her. She could feel him, feel his presence growing stronger. God could she feel him, but nothing would be worth that torture…not even him. She tried wordlessly to convince herself of that fact.

"Others _should have_ cleared you, but they didn't. It isn't as simple as black and white…everyone made mistakes, everyone suffered."

"The only mistake I ever made was loving you." Rinoa could feel her body tighten at the sound as her heart betrayed her words. "Quistis was with me…" Turning to face him, a sudden look of horror covered her face, "Oh Hyne, something happened to Quistis…Squall is she still alive? Tell me she is all right!"

This was tearing his soul, how could he tell her the truth? It would kill her. However, for the first time in two years, he wasn't under anybody's control. He had the freewill to do what was right…even though it felt so wrong. "Quistis is alive. After you ran…after you ran some Galbadian soldiers approached her and asked if the sorceress had killed Ellone and she said…yes."

"_Yes! _Quistis said that? That bitch, why…she _knew_ the truth, she watched Ellone die with me. I held her hand as she died and Quistis…"

"Quistis tried to fix it later, it just wasn't possible. Rinoa, she was upset that you ran without an explanation."

"I…I was taken to the dream world. Ellone told me to leave, that the troops were at Garden to destroy me. Had I stayed, they would have murdered me. She begged me to leave, not say one word to anyone_. I couldn't._ I wanted to…I wanted to see you but…"

"But you ran. You didn't help us fight. Nobody knew why… Quistis just took it very personally. We all had so much to lose."

"I had much to lose too, you could never understand! So, Quistis lied? Why would she…" Memories of the argument between the two played in her mind. That day they had argued about Squall…with her out of the picture it would…it all became crystal-clear.

"_You_…she wanted _you_. With me out of the way…"

"After the attack she went up to Trabia Garden." The statement had not intended to sound that way, yet Rinoa read something else into it. He looked at the shaking figure in front of him, right now was not the time to divulge the marriage. Rinoa needed time to absorb this information, "I'm not defending her actions. Rinoa, Hyne knows the hardest thing I ever had to endure was losing you. I spent the last two years doing everything in my power to locate you."

Shaking her head, she walked away from him, collapsing in a rocking chair that paralleled the fireplace. Again, she found herself watching the flames as she had done so many times in the last couple of days. Not in anger, not in hate, just in a detached voice she asked, "How did you end up here?"

"Would you believe a stubborn chocobo? I ended up lost in the forest and stumbled upon a chocobo, who was supposed to take me back to Trabia. However, he decided to take a detour to this cabin. Then the bird just sat there and went to sleep outside. I needed shelter and this was the only place in sight."

"Remember to thank the chocobo for me," she replied sarcastically. "What were you doing in Trabia anyhow? I mean it's not like the tourist capital of the world, just on _important_ Garden business?"

"Well, technically business…but only as a cover to check up on a lead…on you. One of the members of the World Council had his child kidnapped, so four of us came up here. I was using it as a cover story to check out information, and then his wife died so they doubled the search efforts."

Rinoa gasped aloud, a mixture of emotions ran through her. Yet all she could do was try to contain laughter, but failed. No, again, the situation wasn't in the least bit comical, yet the irony itself was hysterical.

Squall was very mystified. "Excuse me Rinoa? You seem a little…insensitive."

"Pardon the expression Squall, but they sent you on a 'wild chocobo chase.' Please humor me and tell me more on your precious case."

"What in the hell are you doing? This isn't funny." Squall walked directly in front, crossing his arms with an expression that only made Rinoa laugh harder.

Standing up, her body was far closer to him now than any other moment. Gathering her composure she began speaking, "Okay Commander Leonhart, let's try to figure this out. It's all a game…a fucking game. It is three sides, all equal in immorality. First, we have SeeD, which includes you as commander and all your ostentatious personnel. Once a great force, now at the beck and call of only one organization; no longer hired mercenaries, but disposable soldiers for Deling's President. By all rights, Garden is a division of the Galbadian government…even if you dare not admit it."

"That leads us to the malicious World Council…who is lead by Deling's own dear President Jefferson Mitchell. A group that has so many hidden agendas nobody is even sure if they have a legitimate front anymore. Oh, that's right - _nobody cares_. As long as they show up every month, saying they are going to kill the sorceress and wear impressive dress uniforms while doing it. Much more official that way…men in uniforms never could lie to the public, right? Oh, don't you still sit there at the right hand of the council, _dear_? That's where you were two years ago, see how far sleeping with a sorceress gets you, which leads us to the last of this triad…"

Squall found himself not sure of where this was heading, so far he had understood her little outburst. Yet, he could not even think of a third player in the game.

"The man who actually had both the World Council and SeeD looking like fools for two years… Richard Bennett, a man sitting like a snake watching its prey on the World Council, and subsequently watching the almighty SeeD and their honored Commander Leonhart. A serpent that waits in the dark to make his move when the enemy is weak. An animal so heinous it doesn't care who it hurts in the process, we were just pawns to him. Unfortunately for the snake, even he has his foes. That damn snake was attacked by the mongoose and now he finds himself dependent upon the other two sides of the triangle."

"Yes Squall, sleeping with a sorceress could get you a seat at the council, but what could have Richard Bennett got by controlling one? By controlling me."

"You're right about one thing Squall, Renee Bennett died, not from an illness, but because I finally got the courage to leave. I would rather die than spend another day with that monster. They doubled the search not to look for Allison, but to look for me… Richard Bennett would have never called you in a million years. You scare him, you always have."

His mouth was dry. For two years, he sat at meetings with this man. The whole time they had spoke of attempts to find the sorceress, he held her for the entire duration. What a perfect cover…hide among them. Mr. Bennett had made the fools out of everyone, especially Squall. Then a realization hit him, looking into Rinoa's eyes he asked the question she had dreaded.

"Allison?"

* * *

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen: Difference **

The rain pounded against the small building as afternoon skies turned an angry gray. Being a coastal town surrounded by a mountain range offered Dollet some protection at times; far more common, the location served as a hindrance to calm. Western winds gathered force over vast open seas. When it was peaceful, the town equaled the picture that was portrayed in many a post card. However, when a storm came swiftly upon them, it could rival any finger of the gods. Many sailors had perished on the Dollet coast. Pounding waves, jagged rocks, and a natural coral reef compounded in a deadly recipe giving credence to local legends and ghost stories. _Even myths are rooted in reality. _

"What do you mean that this Corrine person jumped to her death below?" Zell stared at the cowboy with confusion, "You are telling me that someone would actually choose to jump off a cliff during a storm like this?"

Irvine shut the curtains, "That's why they are called _legends_ Zell. Nobody knows if it happened or not, but that is how the Galbadian fable goes. Even this region has their history with Hyne. Remember this once was all part of the Centrian Empire, the army of Centra expanded over many continents. However, as in every other culture of the world, all great empires must fall. Centra was no exception…they couldn't run from destiny. It's an endless cycle bound to repeat itself."

Zell continued starring at the clock ticking on the table in front of him. Scratching his head, he finally spoke, "So this chick thinks if she throws herself over a cliff that Hyne would grant her another life…somehow saving the entire settlement?"

"Well, Dollet _is_ still here, so I guess it worked and the pilgrims of the settlement were spared. But you weren't listening, were you? I said that Hyne never granted her another life. Instead, her spirit was contemned to stay trapped in the sea below. Two years and seven days she drifted among the crashing waves, forced to watch as the cruel waters claimed many of her loved ones." Irvine glanced over to the martial artist now staring at the front door.

"Yeah, I heard that story before…that's when Hyne took pity on her, because she had shown no weakness and never questioned the word of the gods. So since then, Hyne made every sorceress' spirit travel between the planes of reality for two years and seven days before accepting their place among the gods, to prove their worth."

"Right Zell…after they pass the powers on, their spirit stays between the living and dead as a trial to their being. Right here is where that started when Corrine threw herself over the cliff, landing on the rocks below. Her mortal body would never be found again."

"But what's up with this two years and a week thing? Sounds kinda corny to me."

Irvine sat on the hard floor leaning against the wall for support.

"Because Zell, that is when her son died in the ocean. He had never given up hope on finding his mother's remains and giving her the proper tribal burial. Corrine never pleaded for her son's life, never begged Hyne to spare him. She accepted whatever Hyne determined, but in doing so she saved them both as Hyne granted her soul freedom that day. For a few moments, she got to see her family upon the plane of the living before her spirit moved on…along with her son's."

"Thanks Irvine for the history lesson, but let's face it, that's all fiction. Never has there been an account of a sorceress having to wait two years and a week before moving on. I think it's just a story that they invented to make some girl jumping off a cliff not seem…well, so tragic. It's more romantic to think of it as a sacrifice for others, rather than what it really was."

"Gee Zell…I thought you would be more the romantic, but have it your way. Sometimes I don't think Squall was the only one who lost faith after Ellone died. What happened to that carefree spirit we all used to know?"

Zell watched the door as the thunder reverberated through the small building. "I'm currently waiting to see why I aided a known felon on nothing more than a hunch. Alexandra said she would be back by now…we should have never let her go. She probably skipped town."

Standing from the floor, Irvine walked over to a small adjacent room. Opening the door slightly, he could see a tiny figure covered in blankets lying quietly on the bed. Shaking his head at how any living creature could sleep through such a storm, he returned his eyes to Zell. "Because we have Allison, and nobody goes through everything she did just to leave now… I think you're right there is more to this. For some reason I trust Alex."

As Irvine finished his statement, the door opened. A gust of wind slammed the frame against the outside wall and the hooded figure quickly reached back, grabbing the metal handle. "It figures that we would be having the worst storm of the century now. Hyne has a sardonic humor that I grant her. I managed to get the supplies that were prearranged…just enough Gil to pay for it all."

Alex took off the soaking wet fleece looking like the preverbal drowned rat. Immediately setting the knapsack down, she marched over to the small bedroom door that remained ajar. A miniature sigh of relief escaped her mouth, observing the rise and fall of the blanket at the child's rhythmic breathing.

Zell felt a sudden relief now that Alex had returned. Getting off the couch, he approached her. "Okay, a deal's a deal. We held up our end of the bargain about waiting for the questioning until today. But I demand you start talking soon…or we are heading to the authorities."

Alex rolled her eyes. "You're just as wanted as I am. Please, don't try that on me. I worked for the biggest son-of-a-bitch for the last two years. Trust me, none of your scare tactics will work. Why do you think it is twelve hours later and you are still as in the dark as you were yesterday? Except today you have a lovely bullet wound to show for your concern."

"You only escaped because _we_ allowed it. Without us, you would be dead and that baby would be back with its parents. Where, by the way, _Allison should be_. Now start talking."

"It's always about control with SeeDs, isn't it? The poignant detail about this situation is that you have no idea who has the control right now. You're being hunted just like me and it petrifies you. Military life is about meticulous order, without it there is only chaos. Disarray terrifies you Zell, explanation and rationalization is essential to your survival. Lately that's been taken away from you. Right now, you are trying to hold on to your sanity with defiance."

Alex walked over and started going through the duffle bag of new supplies. She grabbed a rolled up newspaper, tossing it in the general direction of the martial artist, she never once looking up from the bag. Trained reflex allowed him to grab the paper without as much as a second thought. Irvine had watched the events of the last few minutes, still leaning against the wall. Something about this almost seemed _familiar_, but he had never seen this person standing in front of him. Feelings of uneasiness would not leave him, no matter how much he tried.

Sensing Irvine's eyes on her, Alex looked up from the bag. Standing up straight, she tilted her head to one side and smiled slightly

"You…you're different. You do not live by the same rules as your comrades, you may take arms against their enemies, but you're not of true military blood. You're not technically SeeD, nor can you ever be…maybe in title, but never in beliefs. Spirits are wondrous things, yours is no exception."

"Great," Zell replied sarcastically. "I get shot saving a psychology major, just my luck."

Alex chuckled outwardly, taking a seat on the old torn couch, "It was my minor, but close enough. I think you guys are ready for answers now."

Irvine tipped his hat to the lady as she smiled impishly. "Guess we know who has the control now."

* * *

Too many emotions, too many feelings flooded her mind. An emotional dam she refused to break, no matter how much pressure pressed upon it. How difficult would it be to tell him the truth? A few words that could, and would, change two…no three lives forever. She trusted him with her life once, she trusted him with her heart once. **_Trust._** That word and Squall Leonhart just didn't fit as of now, but she held out hope that someday they might.

Allison was her number one priority; she would protect her. As much as she wanted to believe Squall to be on her side, tinges of doubt clouded her mind. For two years, he sought to destroy her, now he shows up willing to believe in her innocence. If Squall even gave Bennett the slightest notion that Allison was not his, the heartless bastard would not be above murdering the child…out of spite for Rinoa's betrayal, or out of his desperate desire for power. She was a pawn, nothing more than a dispensable piece. There would be fatalities in this, by gods…and Allison would _not_ be among them.

Rinoa Heartilly had learned many things over the last two years. Most were life lessons not wished upon anyone. She dared to look him in the eyes…eyes that told a tale of loneliness, of pain. Now, she would only add to that anguish.

"I…Allison is my daughter. Richard doesn't care about us. I was nothing more than a prisoner there…and he used his daughter to… Squall he will kill her. You must believe me. Family means nothing to him."

In saying the words, no matter how incoherent they were. She knew that he would get the basic message: _his daughter_…_Richard Bennett's daughter_. Simple words that were not the truth, yet not a lie. Bennett had raised her for the last year, as a father would. Her reasoning was making her sick. She could feel herself grow nauseous, and could no longer look at him. For the first time since she left that bastard's house a few nights ago, she cried. Not for herself, not even for Allison, she cried for Squall. He turned away from her…and it broke her heart. She collapsed back in the rocking chair, closing her eyes as tears rolled down pale cheeks.

The blackness filled her thoughts, continuing in the solitary darkness. She could picture his face, his emotions. She heard the sounds of his boots stepping across the wooden planked floor, each giving a strange echo that chilled her to the bone. For the briefest of seconds, she flashed to him standing on the Deling stage as she watched from the dark alleyway. That night so much had changed. She had to live the lie, as she had done for two years. For all practical purposes, she _was_ guilty of murder, of herself, of Rinoa Heartilly.

His breathing deepened as he walked away from her. Two years later and he is still the one walking away. _Bennett's daughter…that fucking bastard's daughter._ Thousands of memories filled his mind, times with her, times without her, each more painful than the last. Rinoa was a prisoner trapped within her own life, and he realized that now. For a second he glanced back, she sat silently crying. He had done this to her. She would forever remain a prisoner; she could never be exonerated of the crimes.

"Rinoa," he spoke trying to show little emotion. "What…what did I do to you?"

Wiping away the tears from the eyes, she tried using the palms of her hands. The attempt futile, as more quickly took their place.

"Squall…I never knew it to possible to love someone, yet to be filled with so much contempt for the same person. For two years, I dreamed that you would find me, rescue me from the world I was forced into. Somehow, I would wake up from this horrible nightmare, you comforting me. However, when I woke up I only saw the moonlight filling your side of the bed. On some vile occasions, I saw Richard. It wasn't just you who did this…it was circumstances, events, things that neither of us controlled. It just came down to trust…in the end, you didn't trust me. Now, I can't trust you."

The words stung him harder than anything imaginable. He knew it. Yet, to hear it from her… Everything he had done since she left was wrong. Nobody was truly innocent in the game, no mortal can be. He hated it when she vanished that day without a goodbye, without a word. She did nothing to prove her innocence, but that alone did not show guilt. He had to know what she had gone through, as much as it would torment him to hear… Well, he deserved every detail. He deserved so much more pain than she did. Now it was clear to him, over the last years…it was she who had the suffered most.

Walking back toward her, he wanted nothing more than to grab her in his arms…easing her fears, easing her doubts. He lost that right; he lost the right to love her. Kneeling in front of her, he watched as she hid her eyes from him.

"Rinoa, I know I don't deserve this. Please, tell me what happened to you. Tell me what happened over the last few years," his voice pleaded.

* * *

The lighting flashed outside the window illuminating the house with an unnatural light. Darkness again filled the room, only signifying the incongruity of the situation. The hour couldn't have been later than that of three in the afternoon, yet the sky resembled one easily confused with midnight. It was truly a storm of satanic nature as unseen electricity filled the atmosphere.

Yet, the baby slept.

Alex reached for the knitted afghan that adorned the back of the couch. For a moment, she reminisced about her grandmother making the coverlet, but when the lighting sparked, she focused on the current task. These two men had risked their lives for her, for that matter, their potential freedom. She had so long planned to endure this battle alone. She knew the risks of accepting responsibility for the child. But she held a new awareness, almost spiritual connection, to this collection of friends…even if they did not know. So much had been revealed in the past four days, an unearthly connection bounded them.

Snapping out of her daydreams, she looked at the men sitting on two folding chairs staring at her. "Zell did you read the newspaper?"

He looked irritated as she covered up with the blanket.

"Gee, I read the front page with our pictures plastered nicely on it. I'm so glad you brought that to our attention. We had _no idea_ we were wanted by the authorities. Thank you for your valuable insight."

Irvine shook his head, "Do I have to put you two in different rooms? Alex we really would like to know why we're risking our careers and our lives. Why is Allison Bennett in your 'supposed' custody?" He spotted Alex playing with the chain. Visibly he could make out the silhouette of the golden Griever ring, "Also tell me how you ended up with that ring."

Closing her eyes, Alex felt the cool metal between her fingers, "Zell, read me the beginning of the bottom right news article."

Flipping the paper around, he found the story. Zell started reading aloud, "_Trabian Council Member's Wife Loses Fight for Life_: Renee Bennett passed away from complications of a long-standing illness yesterday afternoon. Only three days after her daughter, Allison Elizabeth Bennett - age fourteen months, was abducted from the couple's Trabian home. Richard Bennett has been a sitting World Council..."

"Stop," Alex ordered. "Now I know what you're thinking, but let me assure you that nothing you read is in the least bit factual. Allison Bennett was never kidnapped. I love her as if she is my own child…I would die for her."

Zell continued skimming the article before he looked up, "So you're telling me that Renee Bennett is not dead."

"Richard Bennett would kill for power, do you understand that?" Alex looked back at the martial artist, eyes serious as a ruby dragon.

Irvine watched as a bystander as the two locked in a competitive glare, each refusing to give a centimeter. Sitting forward in his chair, the gunman silently wondered what information this person had actual given them, so far it was nothing worth risking their lives over.

"You didn't answer my question _is she dead?_ If she isn't…why do you have her child?" countered Zell.

"For all practical purposes, _she is dead_. I can guarantee you that we will never hear from 'Renee' again. This media hype was a last ditch effort for public favor and support. Mr. Bennett is growing nervous."

Zell continued to become angrier at the intolerable riddles. "Okay so you are saying that we will never hear from her again…yet, she is not dead. But, why would Rinoa want you to take her child, especially to somewhere as far away as Dollet?"

Alex smiled slightly as she continued speaking, "Safety Zell, we must keep this child away from Richard Bennett at all costs."

"Excuse me," Irvine attempted to interrupt confused at the exchange. He was blatantly ignored as Zell continued the interrogation.

"Mr. Bennett is the child's father, he has rights! I don't care what kind of asshole he is, that doesn't mean you are entitled to steal Allison!"

Glancing over at Alex, who was sitting on the couch with a playful grin, Irvine stood. This time, he vehemently spoke out, "_Excuse Me_" Both turned their heads toward the gunman, "… great now that I have your attention. Zell I'm one hundred percent sure you just said _Rinoa_ instead of _Renee_. And Alex, I'm one hundred percent sure you were well aware of that fact."

Zell shot a look at Alex, who grinned slyly. "Yes Zell, Allison Bennett is Rinoa's child. Curious how dreams can be significant to one's past or future, if one knows how to interpret them. Sometimes dreams absorb into our life, bridging the difference between fiction and truth. Your mind figured out what your subconscious already knew."

She lifted the blanket off her legs, laying it next to her. Gradually she got of the couch walking to where Zell sat, bending down to reach his level.

"The dreams you have been experiencing are connected to our future, they were meant for both of us to discover truths. The visions are the voices of the dead wishing to communicate with the living…warning us of our own fate or the fate of those we hold dear. I promised Rinoa that I would never betray her identity…and I didn't betray her trust. The words did not come from my lips…they came from yours. I would not, and did not, break my promise. I apologize for the games…I just couldn't. It was your fate to discover that truth on your own."

* * *

For a moment, Rinoa wanted to scream at him, to yell of all the torture she had endured. Yet, she knew better ways of making him suffer. The truth. He wanted it; he would get every sorted detail of her life with that bastard.

"After I left Garden…well I ended up in Deling. Where I wanted to contact you, but when I saw you…I knew you were lost forever to me. The wounds were too deep…it was still too soon. I ended hiding on a cargo ship that took me to Trabia. I'll spare you some of the details of living on the street, but I ended up with a few Gil and rented a room. I made a decision one night, one that would haunt me forever… I waited outside a restaurant. Where I basically…oh God."

She buried her face in her hands ashamed at the memories. Squall knew what she was saying. She was desperate, so frightened. The idea of her turning herself into nothing more than a high-priced whore made him ill. He wanted to ask how many times she was forced to…but the answer may have been more than he could bear. Never had he wanted to die more; never had he felt this level a self-loathing. He didn't even deserve to be in the same fucking room with her.

She stopped crying long enough to continue, "The first man who came along…well who was alone happened to be Richard Bennett. Looking back now, I was naïve to think he didn't know who I was; he was running for the World Council at the time… I don't even know what I was thinking. I introduced myself as Renee, a name that popped in my mind after I started saying Rinoa… Hence the 'wonderful' Renee Bennett was born."

"I thought if I made it through that night _physically_ with him I could handle… Hyne…it was horrifying. I never felt so dirty or cheap in my life. I was stunned the next morning when he asked if I wanted to stay with him. The night before I had given some story about visiting a friend and we were arguing. I was starving…I had eaten so little. At that point, I didn't know where my next meal would come from. I had to accept the offer, but I would never have the opportunity to leave again."

"Rinoa, I'm sor-"

"Don't even say that! Don't you _ever_ tell me that you are sorry. Trust me, that does not cut it. You want to know what I lived through? You want to know how '_sorry'_ one person can be?"

Two words would never take away the pain. He knew that fact better than anyone else did. How many nights had he envisioned her, what she was doing? Too many times, he pictured her in elaborate clothing, commanding armies preparing for an invasion such as Edea. That image was easier to handle. The truth was a thousand times worse: she sold her body, sold her soul. No, two words would never take that horror away. However, one thing was correct, hearing the truth was the most hurtful thing she could do. Now every waking minute he would be replaying her words, remembering the sorrow in her voice, and the anguish within her eyes. No '_sorry_' could ever take that away.

"After the first night in his bed, I ended up making myself sick over what I had done. You know the worst fucking part about it? I still felt like I betrayed you! You were hunting me…and I made myself sick for _hurting you_. I hated myself for feeling that way. That was the day I met Alexandra…she had just started working for him. She had lived in Esthar before, and knew full well who I was. Instead of turning me in, she comforted me that night. She knew at that time…that somehow, I had become a prisoner of Richard Bennett and nothing could save me. She had friends in the government and managed to get me false documentations."

Rinoa bit her lip, as if afraid to say the rest. She was not afraid to say, rather to remember.

"I married him four weeks later, and then a month after that, I found out about the pregnancy. He was well…happy I guess. For a few months, it almost was bearable. Now I had another life to think about. After Ally was born, everything changed. He knew that he had the power over me, I just didn't know it."

Looking him straight in eyes she softly said, "Five."

Until now, he had been looking at the floor, or had his eyes closed at the ghastly images that plagued his mind. He didn't understand the last comment and looked up into her eyes. Now he searched her face, he found only terror and suffering. "I don't understand…_five_?"

"That's the number of times he broke my ribs, Squall. I can remember each one…I can still feel the pain when each rib cracked in my chest."

If that man had been anywhere around, he would be dead. That man _would_ be dead the next time Squall ever laid eyes on him. He could feel himself starting to tremble in anger, at himself and Richard Bennett. His Rinoa would have never stayed with such a vial beast; she was too strong. She was a fighter. Nobody could ever push her around, yet he knew she was right about one thing. They were no longer the same people. _This_ Rinoa had stayed…not because she was weak, but because she was strong.

Rinoa was not the codependent in the marriage. She was a prisoner of war…a war she lost within herself. She stayed because her spirit was broken, her faith gone. She stayed for her daughter, for the food and shelter, for her only reason for living. It was not some bad relationship she could run from, not as if she could seek shelter anywhere else. There wasn't _anywhere_ to run. A weaker person would have giving up on life, only a strong person could endure such torture and still come out with sanity.

"So invented a person, I became her. I tried to believe that Rinoa Heartilly was dead. In my mind, she died with Squall Leonhart that day at Garden. The life I once had, the person I once was…is gone. We are different people, too much has happened."

Her tears stopped, her voice grew from trembling to that with more certainty. "I'm not expecting to make it out of this situation alive. I once told Alexandra that I was dead either way. Allison was born an innocent in this war; she is the only one without sin. Richard Bennett will not harm her unless it's to get to me. I will be the one to shed his blood if he even tries. I will not be innocent this time; this time it will be worth it. I will give my life for her."

"Now Squall, look me in the eyes and tell me that _you're sorry_."

No apologies could undo the damage that had been done, not only to her physically, but also mentally. A knight's duty is to protect his sorceress, mind, body, and spirit. He had done none of those things. He was no more a knight than he was before he met her. Life can be cruel.

For the first time, Squall Leonhart did something that he had never done before. He fell to his knees and silently begged her forgiveness. He was not the type to plead; the remorse he felt toward her could not be spoken in any words…_he failed_.

* * *

The day was now turning to evening, and what little warmth the sun offered, was a fleeting memory. The melted snow on the pavement was now turning to a solid. As his boot hit a patch of black ice on the street, he stiffened up unable to regain his balance. Seifer despised everything this damn wasteland had to offer. No normal person could live in these conditions on a year round basis.

Picking himself off the pavement, he cursed aloud anyone in earshot could hear how upset the man was.

Quistis tried not to laugh, after all that would not be the wisest move.

"Seifer, _Nicolas_, whoever you are right now. Remember that you're supposedly a SeeD. When you are wearing that uniform you must act like an upstanding citizen."

He brushed the snow off his coat, "Yeah upstanding citizens around here seem to have a way of disappearing or dying suddenly."

"You think Squall knows yet? I mean he's been there a couple hours for questioning on the missing child."

Then it hit her, _child_.

"Seifer, does that mean it was Rinoa and Bennett's baby that was kidnapped?"

"I have a few ideas on the subject, but let's see what happens when we get there. As for if Squall knows…_he knows_."

She stopped turning around to him. "I don't get it. We don't see you for five years, now you're the authority on _everything_. Look, we can't pass judgment yet…he might not know."

He exhaled deeply as he watched his breath form crystals in the air, and then turned again to her, "Commander Puberty knows."

Before she could say another word, she saw a figure running toward her in the snow. By the standard issue SeeD coat, she could tell it was Lauren.

"Instructor…_Quistis,_ I have been trying to get hold of you and Nicolas all afternoon!" Seifer gave a slight smile and a fake wave at the sound of the forged name. The young lady continued, "Why haven't you answered your communication radio?"

Quistis looked at Seifer, "_Nicolas_ was in charge of the radio. SeeD do you still have it on you?"

Seifer fumbled around his coat pockets, and then remembered he had clipped it to his belt. Giving a slight grin, he tried to salvage any dignity out of the situation.

"Yeah, got it right here, never heard a single transmission."

He handed the pocketsize communicator to Quistis who examined the radio before handing it back.

"SeeD, it helps if you flip the indicator switch to _receive_," she said trying to keep back a chuckle.

Seifer grabbed the radio from her mumbling many adjectives under his breath.

"Never mind about that. This is an emergency…It's about Commander Leonhart. He went…well, how do I word this? _Crazy_."

An abrupt fear took over Quistis. This situation could not be good; she dreaded hearing the outcome.

"We questioned Richard Bennett for only a few minutes. Bennett showed the commander a photograph and then threatened the lives of other SeeD members. There was some yelling, and it ended up with him literally pushing Bennett to the ground. We left the building and Squall yelled at me…but called me _Rinoa_. That's when he lost it…just kinda had a breakdown and ran into the forest. I tried to catch him, but couldn't keep up in the elements."

Quistis and Seifer exchanged glances, each drawing conclusions to a story they hadn't heard the end of…an end neither of them expected.

"Instructor, that's not the worse part. Three hours ago Richard Bennett was found murdered in his study…right now the commander is the prime suspect."

Seifer tried comforting Quistis by gently placing a hand on her should, reassuring her she wasn't alone. He spoke, to nobody particular, re-entreated his previous statement, "_He knows…_"


	4. Argument, Inharmony, Friction, and Contravene

**Chapter Fifteen: Argument **

For the first time, Rinoa didn't know what to say. No longer did her body or mind feel upset, instead, an unnatural calm had taken over. She looked down at him, still at the foot of the chair. His chestnut brown hair was within her grasp. She wanted nothing more than to reach down and run her hands through it. Remembering how every strand felt in her fingers, and against her bare skin.

"Squall," her voice cracked with hesitation. "I melted some snow for water over there in the kettle. Also, they have some soap if you need to clean up."

Looking up at her, their eyes locked for a moment. She was the first to look away, closing them tightly.

"I…I can't talk anymore about this right now. I just need something to eat."

"Rinoa, I have other questions for…"

"Stop, okay? Please, right now just stop for a while. I need some time to think about things. This is happening so fast. Two years and nothing…now you show up in the middle of nowhere and I'm supposed to understand?"

"Rinoa, trust me, I don't understand either. But if you want to wait until later, I'll be here."

"Yeah, I kind of figured as much," she said not showing much emotion either way. "I'm going to find some dinner."

She stood up from the chair, brushing past him. Never once looking back, she started going through the cupboards, finding some cans, and setting them loudly on the counter. He watched her, _every move_. The way she opened the cabinet doors, the way her fingers wrapped around the metal handles. Everything was so familiar, a feeling he had long forgotten. It was always the simple things with her, like dinner.

Knees cracking, he stood up and walked to the kitchenette area. Squall started searching some drawers under the counter. Without a solitary word, she opened the drawer closest to her and handed him the can opener. He took it and opened the can as she set a bowl next to him. Again, without a word he held out a coffee can as she shut another set of cupboard doors. She was about to ask him to hand her the coffee that he had already set in front of her. She looked at the can for a moment, then back to him.

At that instant she realized what they had been doing, what they had always done. Neither needed to say anything, the other always one-step ahead. While technically she had not lived with him, it came close. They were doing a dance, a dance of timing and movement that only two people who knew each other better than they knew themselves could do.

He searched her eyes, knowing what she was thinking, "It's been along time."

"Yeah," she replied softly. "Yeah, a really long time. Not Again, Squall…I'm not going to do this. I can't go through this again. Please go over there and check the fireplace. It's a getting colder out, might want to put another log on the fire."

"Yeah, fine, whatever," he chided.

Sometimes one has a moment they wish they could take back. A turning point so drastic they would replay the moment repetitively in their mind. Squall Leonhart had many, now he would add another one to the long list of flaws…a list that ostensibly grew by the minute. Something simple, something he did every single day…never once thinking of the consequence, never once calculating the outcome.

Without a second thought, he took his gloves off.

She had been busy at first and had not paid attention to his actions. His coat had been taken off during the earlier incident of the accidentally stabbing. Now that Squall regained feeling in hands, he figured to warm them for a moment by the fire. Something so simple…something he forgot.

When he turned to ask her a question, she dropped the coffee mugs in her hand…not saying a word, just staring at him with resentment. He felt the daggers in his chest, but for the life of him could not figure out why. She slowly took a step away, never turning around, and never lifting her gaze from him. She continued the few steps back until she hit the partition wall.

The first thought that entered his mind was she had been injured. Her normal hues left her beautiful face, all color draining from her cheeks. He stepped over the broken shards of the ceramic mugs, cautiously avoiding the spilled liquid.

An expression of trepidation covered his face, and that carried into his voice. "Rinoa…are you okay? What's wrong?"

As he grew near, Squall attempted to offer his hand in support. That's when it hit him, as she followed his hand to her shoulder, acting as if it were toxic poison. Fuck. After all that had happened, after he attended the delegate meeting in Deling, outward appearances were _everything_. In protecting Quistis and their marital relationship, he forgot about one minor detail. His wedding ring. Her eyes now focused on the band that surrounded his ring finger.

"Oh Hyne Rinoa, it's not what you think. Please let me explain."

The words hurt to say, but she had to know the answer. She asked the most painful words ever uttered, "Are you…_married_?"

"Yes Rinoa, but it's…"

"No," she spat. "I think you have done enough, _thank you_. Get the hell away from me."

"I'm not leaving. Can we talk about this?"

"Shit Squall…what do you want to talk about? You're fucking married. What else is there to say? Just…leave."

"I had to Rinoa. I needed to stay at Garden."

"What? Since when did Garden require you to be married to live there?"

He tried again to reassure her. Attempting to close the barrier between them, he placed his hand delicately on her upper arm. Knocking it off with tremendous force, she glimpsed fleetingly at him. Eyes full of hurt, even he could see torment. Rinoa slid down the wall, until she ended up sitting on the floor, knees to her chest. A position she found herself in a lot, a position that showed her desperate need for comforting. Like a child from their mother, yet she had no mother in this world, no father who could hold her, and the person who gave her the most comfort, now gave her the most pain.

"Rinoa…damn it. It's not at all what you are thinking…I had to. I was going to lose my command. The council didn't trust me to find you. I had to try to show them I moved on, still competent of doing my job. If it wasn't me that found you…Rinoa, they would have slaughtered you on sight. I…I couldn't allow that to happen."

"As opposed to killing me gradually? Thank you for your concern Commander Leonhart. Why…why didn't you tell me the truth? _Ever_. If you didn't want to marry _me_ back then, just goddamn say it. If you didn't want me…I really thought you…" her voice wavered with doubt before continuing. "I…really thought you loved me."

Instead worrying about explaining the farce of a marriage, Squall found himself in a far graver situation… She not only didn't trust him, she doubted his feelings. Something he tried to deny, but never doubted. He wanted nothing more than to hold her, comfort her, and make the last two years evaporate from both their memories. Squall knew that could never happen, even the GFs couldn't erase such agony. This time, no matter how much he was pushed away, she was going to listen. He kneeled down, reassuringly reaching for her tender shoulders. She started to push him off; this time he maintained his ground.

"Damn you Rinoa…you can say a lot of things… I know how severely I wounded you. But don't you ever, _ever_, doubt how I felt about you. Your memory was the reason I continued living. Your face was the first I pictured as the dawn broke, the last image I held before the nightmares began. Do you remember your final words to me that day? You told me _'go to hell.'_ You got your wish, damn it. Rinoa Heartilly you can tell me repeatedly of the mistakes I made…the pain I caused you…caused _everyone_. But, don't you _ever_ tell me that I didn't love you. That's all I had…it's all I ever had…or ever wanted - you."

This time she did not cry, _would not cry_. Something deep inside her snapped…something she didn't even know existed. Something that could only come from two years of living hell, from repressing anger towards all whom wronged her, all whom betrayed her. A feeling so packed with deep-rooted resentment, _or jealousy_, that it filled her entire being and could not subside. For two years, she had been controlled by Richard Bennett, a feeling she loathed. The same control she once ran from, her father a military general. Now the tables were turned in her mind, she would no longer let Squall Leonhart control her…if only in her mind.

It was the same feeling that drove Ultimecia and Adel into the blackness of evil. It was, in fact, a sorceress whose spirit had been broken…from the knight who swore to protect it. No force in the world was more chaotic or treacherous, no force more deadly or malevolent than the power controlling her thoughts, her soul. For in that moment, she was no longer Rinoa Heartilly, but transformed back into distorted version of Renee Bennett. A form that was tired of being the victim, and in this instance in time…she was the one in control.

No force more manipulative.

The image of Squall married to someone else was enough to push her to the limits of sanity, the sanity that was stolen by time, by control…_by him_. The changes were not only in her mind, but also on the most insignificant of physical levels, albeit they were small changes. That is, if one was not looking for the metamorphous, it could be completely missed. Her eyes remained brown, not turning to amber hues, that sign would be too obvious. Instead, they clouded like her mind. In the fire lit room, it was impossible to tell, unless looking directly into the light. Her entire demeanor turned from a defensive position to that of offensive.

In this case, however, she would show her dominance the best way she could - power. Not by attacking, not by hitting, but by giving the one thing it would almost be impossible for him to resist. Her. Taking the control from his body and mind by showing that even if he was married, she still held the jurisdiction of his desires. It was a curse for a sorceress, when negative emotions controlled their actions. Lines between reality and fantasy blurred…as had they done with Richard Bennett.

It was a mixture of lust and passion, of control and power.

He never knew what hit him.

One minute he was explaining his reasoning behind the sham marriage, the next minute she was pulling him into her body. From the kneeling position he had been talking in, Squall was unable to maintain balance with the vigor of her motions. The feeling of her grabbing his neck and pulling him toward her until their lips met. He knew at that instant something was wrong, but the sensation was so astonishing, so longed for, he momentarily lost reasoning and returned the kiss equally as passionate.

* * *

Quistis stood in the boulevard unexpectedly losing all sense of reality. Her fingertips numb through the warm woolen gloves. Her mind racing, attempting to grasp the concept of Squall being suspected of murder…a murder in cold blood, a gruesome testament to human nature. It was a notion so horrendous that she wanted to quickly dismiss the thought, but given circumstances or at least what they suspected, the thought lingered.

Seifer being the less emotional of the two, at least as far as outward appearances were concerned, tried to rationalize the situation. Could Squall be capable of murder? Yes…given the right circumstances, the right emotions, and of course the thought of anyone hurting Rinoa…_yes_. It would be the duty of any knight to fight for their sorceress, a bond not governed by laws of man.

However, Seifer also knew one simple fact: Squall Leonhart did not murder Councilman Bennett. There is a price to honor, to defend the valor of the ones we love, and if the commander had been guilty, he would not have run. He was too proud. He had honor. No matter the situation or emotion, murder would be committed as a final, desperate resort…when conventional means failed. If Squall had committed the crime, it was self-defense and he simply would not have fled the scene. He was innocent.

"Lauren, please tell who ever is in charge of the investigation that Mrs. Leonhart has been notified of the circumstances and will be there shortly. Neither of us has had contact with her husband, and ergo, do not know his whereabouts," he tried to sound as professional as possible. Maintaining his cover just got a lot more complex.

Lauren saluted the two, only _Nicolas_ returned the gesture, Quistis still in a state of shock. Seifer watched as the female SeeD walked toward the mansion. For a moment he looked at his childhood friend, he could feel her torment. She wanted to believe Squall innocent; she wanted to have faith in him…more than that, a small part wanted him to have done an act with such passion for her. In her mind if Squall _had_ murdered Bennett, it was out of love. The deep love that he felt for Rinoa, the love men would die for. The love that was truly lost to her…at least from that man. Even if Quistis didn't know it, somebody did love her, even if that person didn't know it yet, or wouldn't admit it.

He pushed emotion back into the recesses of his mind; it was something he was good at doing. Resentment and hatred are easy to show, but expressing something as mundane as love, can be the hardest task one ever completes. Now was not the time to be mulling over such feelings, more pressing issues had to be dealt with. He reached his hand over to her back, and she jumped at the contact. He could feel her body tense initially, and then relax after a moment of being acquainted to the calming sensation.

"Quistis, I know what you're thinking…he didn't do it. So put those thoughts out of your mind. I know you're making a checklist in your head, weighing both options. Your heart doesn't want to believe it, but the logical mind of a trained SeeD is casting doubt. Don't doubt your heart, _ever_. If he is gone, it's because she needed him. I know it is hard to hear, I know that even if you tried to think it was over, the hope of time…was always in the back of your mind. Quistis, this is how it is supposed to be."

Now matter how much she understood that it was over, vows were something she had taken seriously, or as seriously as she could, knowing the circumstances. Yes, she was in shock. Shock that he was accused of the crime, shock that Rinoa had been here all this time, and most of all shock from the fact it didn't hurt nearly as much as she thought it would.

She spoke confidently, "I know Seifer. Thank you, thank you for everything. He wouldn't have left unless there was a reason. I guess now I'm worried about them, if they are together. What would cause them to leave, and more importantly, how do we get them back, safe? I owe that to her, _to him_."

"Well first of all you need to go the crime scene and see what you can find out. Make sure they believe you are open-minded about his guilt. They will use that against you, trying to distance you from the investigation. If it comes down to it, as against your principles as it may be, agree with their foolhardy theories."

"What do you mean…_me_? Where are you going…oh yeah," she realized the consequences of his walking straight into a murder investigation. "_Brilliant one Quistis…ask the wanted man why he doesn't want to talk to the authorities_," she thought to herself.

Reaching for the chain around her neck, she remembered the torment on Squall's face when he gave her the Griever pendant; both in from the misery he caused her and Rinoa. _Rinoa_…if she was around that would mean they might run into each other again. How does one apologize for changing the course of the universe, trying to stop the sun from setting…denying a love that was decided by fate?

"Do you think she is going to hate me?"

"Honestly, I don't think she is going to like you too much," he tried to say with a hint of playfulness in his voice, yet he was extremely serious.

She tried to smile wryly at him, yet her attempts failed. "Yeah," she spoke melodiously, "that won't rank right up there with the top moments in my life but…I have to face her. I guess I'm glad that I might have the opportunity."

Seifer, on the other hand, had no difficulty in smiling in awkward moments. He grinned as he spoke to her, "Now that's my girl…go get 'em." He leaned into her giving her a small peck on the cheek, when his warm lips met her tender skin she couldn't help but smile. When she didn't pull away, he tried his luck with giving her a quick kiss on the lips. This time her attempt at a smile was a success.

* * *

All his nights of dreaming, fantasying about her, all his daydreams for two years were now in his grasp. Two years of restraining his passion had built up; he was in emotional turmoil. His body wanted nothing more than to carry the moment out to the end, when he could feel her bare skin against his once again. However, his heart, his heart knew that it was not Rinoa… It was nothing more than an attempt to show supremacy. This would not be making love, it would be more vile, no emotion contained within the act. This would be no more than fucking a girl he met a bar. She was more than that, he was more than that, _and they_ were more than that.

Then why the hell couldn't he stop?

His heart was pleading for him to, as this was nothing short of emotional rape. Rinoa was not herself right now; she was not in control of her actions. He had seen this before, they all had. When she first gained her sorceress abilities, she could not control herself, randomly casting spells in anger. _That_ had put them into more than one sticky situation. This was no different. For the anger was not in battle, it was directed at him. The power was weakening the foe the best way it could, natural human desires. His desires, his needs…her.

Within the turmoil, he never stopped feverishly returning the kisses. She used her strength pushing him onto the floor. He was easy to manipulate right now. In her opinion, men could be so weak. He couldn't help giving in as she climbed on top of him, pressing her body tightly against his…applying more pressure to certain areas. In her mind, she was well aware of what her actions were doing. Moreover, in his, she was doing it _very_ well.

For an instant, he opened his eyes, trying frantically to push the pleasurable feelings away. Feelings he thought were long departed, feelings he thought would never be experienced again. His heart was losing the battle with his brain. She knew it.

Trailing kisses down his neck and collarbone she could hear his breathing rapidly increase, the power within her growing stronger with every breath, every moan. She reached down trying to rip his shirt off. Almost in an animal like fashion, she was attacking and he was the weakened prey. The tables were turned, the last two years now insignificant to the power she was wielding from her body.

She could hear the muffled moans as she kissed his chest, caressing him in ways he long forgot. This time he reached up to her grabbing her shirt and pulling it over her head, regretting any moment of lost contact between them. No longer was he the docile creature, he now was becoming the aggressor, and with that, her victory would be won. He sat up never breaking their lips and the hunger contained within. His heart tried to reason that after all the pain they deserved this moment together. They had done this hundreds of times before, each a memory that he longed to recreate. He rubbed her shoulders, feeling the electricity of each second. Running his hand along her back to undo the strap of the bra, he forcefully pulled her into his body…_then she screamed_.

No, not in pleasure, but in pain. He knew the difference. The sound brought him back into a reality that his body didn't want to be a part of…but his heart was stronger than his body right now. She was in pain. He broke the contact, although she tried desperately to maintain the momentum they had been building up. Squall fought her, and in a sense…he fought himself.

"Rinoa!" he demanded. She continued trying to fight him. "Stop it Rinoa. Just stop it. Rinoa, this isn't you. Please…please." His voice softened and he looked into her eyes, "Rinoa…please stop this, it's not what you want."

The pupils of her eyes faded from cloudy brown to the clear brown eyes he longed for…those were the ones he wanted to make love to. Slowly her expression changed from angry to bewildered…almost embarrassed.

"Squall…what? What happened?"

Rinoa looked like a scared child, and he wanted to be the one to comfort her. Right now, he would be the last thing she needed. That killed him. He lay on his back wishing she would get off his waist, that not helping the problem or his concentration.

"You um…well I… Rinoa, it wasn't you. It was like when you first learned Angel Wing, you were not controlling your actions. I'm sorry I should have never let it get this far."

She looked into his eyes, just as she remembered, blue with the smallest highlights of brown. Eyes that made her feel secure, made her feel love. Now looking back at her brown eyes with the same passion he once showed, if not more. Her surrounds became a little more known, as she realized exactly where she was sitting…knowing how she must have got there. Knowing what he had wanted…for that matter what she _really_ wanted.

Rinoa suddenly felt self-conscious about not having clothing covering her chest…she quickly tried to reach for her top, but he grabbed her wrist.

"My God Rinoa, did that bastard do this?" his voice filled with sympathy as he ever so lightly touched her ribs. The reason she screamed in pain, he had pulled her toward him with such forcefulness. The blue and violet hues mixed with colors that formed such a ghastly combination. She shuttered at the slight pressure, turning her face from him.

"Yeah, it's fine. I got through it. I always did," she said the last phrase under her breath.

"Please, I have another cure spell. Please…"

"No," she cut him off intensely. "I'm fine. Please don't show any concern now. I made it two years just fine. I don't need a knight in shining armor to come in after the dragon is slain, pardon the expression _Knight Leonhart_."

"I'll kill him."

It wasn't a statement. It was a promise. Part of her wanted to thank him, part of her wanted to tell him get as far away from her as possible… But right now, all she wanted to do was get off his waist. That wasn't helping anyone, especially her.

* * *

Quistis heard the accounts, heard their facts, and was now convinced more than ever that Squall was innocent. It was _too_ perfect. Who ever did this was professional, not only in manner, but also in leaving factious evidence. Crimes of passion are rarely neat, this no exception. However, the fact that nobody in authority even suspected the sorceress connection was comforting, if only in her mind.

This gave them time. They needed nothing less.

For her part, she listened and agreed. She also added a few points to aid with the investigating. All through the meeting, she feigned believing their ridiculous theories. All though everyone in the room believed she agreed with them, nobody asked her directly, thank Hyne. Lies like that had put her in worse situations…_lies like that put her_ _here_. It was well into the evening when she returned to the pier. The boat offered some relief from the reality she was in, although she could never escape it.

First things first…Lauren. Quistis had known her awhile, even acted as her faculty advisor. Now she faced the biggest decision of the night, could she be trusted with the truth, all of it? The fact that Quistis only had Seifer to confide in was little comfort, well at least on a professional level. Personal was another story.

"Hey there," a gruff voice spoke from the deck. "How was it? Did they have many bullshit theories?"

"More than Zell on the evolution of a hotdog. All of them just as believable as his."

He walked over to her hesitating at first, but then deciding to put his arm around her. She returned the gesture and leaned close, once again hearing the heartbeat of a man who tried to kill her. Now a man who she found more solace in than she ever thought possible.

Quistis inhaled deeply, watching the city lights reflect off the tiny icebergs forming within the harbor waters. The night seemed so bitter, so unearthly. Her mind raced to the questions she asked herself tonight at the mansion. How Rinoa got there, why she didn't leave, and the biggest one, what was the connection to Rinoa and the child that had been abducted?

"You said earlier you had theories," she inquired slowly. "Theories on what?"

"On just about everything…it's what I do. Dream and make theories. I found my calling in life."

"You're different than Squall…in a good way. I don't think he would be so easy to accept everything that you have."

"Squall only sees what he wants to see, what he is programmed to see. He is like a horse with blinders on and Rinoa is the carrot dangling in front of him."

She chuckled aloud, "Your analogies really need work. Not sure how much Rinoa would like to be compared to a carrot, nor Squall a horse."

"Did I mention it was a _big_ horse?"

"Implied, I think. Least you didn't say Jackass."

"Oh, I thought that was also implied," he retorted holding her closer.

They stayed in the night air, never once feeling the cold. Neither wanted to move, neither wanted to admit that fact either. Therefore, they just stood, in beautiful silence. The type of silence that could only be shared by two people who needed each other...who understood each other.

* * *

It was never meant to turn out this way, and Rinoa knew it. Lives, dreams all shattered because of her being the feared creature that Hyne decided upon. She wanted to look back at him, wanted to ask so many questions. Like how could he? More important…did he love his wife? Of course, she wanted to know her identity, but it didn't matter at this moment for it wasn't her…the one who still loved him, although she tried emphatically to deny any lingering feelings.

Rinoa had been looking out the window watching the snowfall gently to the ground. She also noticed the lazy chocobo that had made his bed for the night in the snow. She watched the iridescent reflection of his eyes looking right into her own, as if for some unknown reason the chocobo was _judging her_, daring her to question the value of her life. Damn bird. The hickory wood odor gave way to a less, unfamiliar smell…but she had know it. Cigarettes?

"What the hell are you doing?" she spat turning toward him. "There is no way that you're doing that disgusting habit in here. I have to be in here, remember? Since when did the ever health-conscious perfectionist start to smoke?"

This had been an argument that he had with Quistis many times…and Selphie, and Zell…and Irvine. It was simply _his choice_, and he decided to do this to his body. It was the one form of pleasure he allowed himself, albeit a twisted one, by imagining every cigarette adding pain to his pathetic life. Suicide was never an option, but killing himself gradually was.

"Rinoa, please you're not my wife."

Words so idiotic he wished he could turn back time - to reverse them. For a moment, her expression was a cross between shock and hurt…then it turned more toward anger. He knew that well, even after all the missed time, some things never changed.

"No Squall, thank Hyne. I don't think I could stand to live with you anymore."

Sometime one feels like they hit a plateau, no longer being angry, upset, or anything in between. _Just being_. That was the point Rinoa Heartilly had arrived at in that minute, nothing he could say would upset her. For in a sense, she was emotionless.

"Squall, I need some time alone…go get firewood for the night."

He looked between her and the cigarette that he just lit, tossing into the fire. Little trails of lighted embers followed the path into the flames.

"Whatever you want, Rinoa."

He subconsciously reached to the chain he was wearing, much in the same manner she used to. It was for support, comfort, and mainly for strength during a difficult situation.

For the first time today, her questioning eyes noticed her mother's ring…_and Griever_.

* * *

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen: Inharmony **

One represented her childhood, one her latter years. Together they intertwined as the story of her life, tragic as it may be. The rings meant so much to her, the mere sight of a past life brought memories flooding back. Dreams and hopes she had, the rings were gorgeous in her eyes. They represented everything to her, a life that could not be. Never had the bands looked better than they did right now. The way the two rings laid around Squall's neck, for a moment she felt breathless at the sight.

Pawning the rings had been a source of many a nightmare. She felt degraded as if pawning the memories attached to them, for what little money they could bring. Her mother would understand; worldly possessions are nothing compared to those we hold dear. In a brief second, her thought flashed to those of her daughter, and how much she wanted her to have the heirlooms, both of them, of her mother and of her father.

Rinoa was not aware she silently whispered her inner thought aloud, "Allison."

Squall watched her eyes as she reached for them, to feel the metal between her fingers as she had done so many times prior. In her eyes, he saw the world, _his world. _The fire reflected the perfection of her eyes, and the hope she still carried in them. For the first time tonight, he saw it. _Hope_.

He spoke softly as to not upset her; he had done enough of that already.

"Yes, Rinoa…Allison can have her Grandmother's ring. I was just holding them for you until you returned. You're back," he said in an optimistic undertone.

"How Squall? When did you find…I thought I'd never see them again. I didn't mean to, but I…" she couldn't finish. He understood, and she knew that.

"They were left to…" He stopped to rephrase his thoughts, "When the woman who owned the shop passed away, there were instructions to return the chain to Garden. She knew, I can't understand how the woman knew to return them, but she did. One of the SeeDs stationed in Trabia received the chain, and returned it to me…forgoing the authorities. Feeling the metal against my skin made me feel closer to you."

For once, she was at a loss for words.

He never thought of returning them so quickly after receiving the chain from Quistis, but was more than glad to have the chance. He reached around spinning the small clasp to the front. Struggling with the fastener, he finally was able to undo the chain. With that, the two rings slid off crashing to the ground. His expression was that of an apology and she understood it well.

Searching the floor Rinoa spotted both rings, her mother's platinum band being the closer of the two. The feel of the metal against her fingers brought back the sensations she recalled as a child. Griever landed closer to him as she started reaching for it, she abruptly stopped. This was going to kill her, but it had to be done. It wasn't hers anymore; she had no rights.

"Squall," she hesitated. "Your ring landed next to the rug. It's not mine anymore…it's yours again."

"I don't want it," he replied attempting to cover any sign of hurt. "I gave it to you. It's yours to do with as you please. I guess after everything…think of it as a small fraction of the payment I owe you, a debt that can never be repaid."

Swallowing hard she grabbed the ring, the slight touch sent shivers down her spin. How she wanted to keep it, Hyne it meant more to her than he could ever know. She ran her fingers along the smooth edges and over the raised emblem. _Griever_. Putting her hand in a tight fist, she mentally made an imprint on her palm and in her heart, Rinoa then reached her hand out to him.

He met it as she gently felt his fingers, and tried not to remember, tried not to forget.

"Squall…only one problem," she choked, "you never gave it to me."

On a technicality, she was correct. He didn't give it to her, but he didn't ask for it back either. For the first time this thought crossed his mind, he had even given Quistis something of himself, something of his childhood. But never h_er_. Rinoa scared him, and all she stood for. The commitment his heart made, but never his mind. She had the ring, but it was never truly _given_ to her.

"Rinoa, I will take it back for now. However, someday it will be yours again. This time I will give it you, as I should have done years ago. This ring is no longer mine. As I said earlier, I'm just going to continue holding it for you until you return…to me."

Stunned at his words she stood, holding her mothers band. No witty comebacks no enraged outbursts, nothing - just the sound of him putting on his coat registered, as did the sound of the cabin door closing. Now she was confused in so many ways. She sat on the floor listening to each crackle of the fire, trying dreadfully to remember why she was running from him.

* * *

The storm died down outside. It too shall pass. Zell sat on the couch holding the child, playing an intense game of 'peek-a-boo.' The baby would laugh as the older man hid under the quilt, and then mysteriously reappeared. Her wisps of dark brown hair pulled to the sides with barrettes, and a smile that could not be compared. When she laughed, it was a tiny giggle, but always from the heart. She was beautiful.

After what had to be a short eternity, Allison finally tired and fell asleep soundly in the martial artist's arms. Irvine sat over in the corner reading the newspaper, but somehow finding himself compelled to look at the youngster. He turned his gaze to the doorway as he heard footsteps approaching on the linoleum. Alex emerged from the bedroom door, holding a leather case under her arm.

"Alex," spoke Zell as she walked to sit next to him. "Hey what's up? What the hell ya been doing?"

"Research," she said pulling a laptop from her bag.

"You never said you had a computer," Zell gave her an unpleasant glare.

"You never asked."

"Touché," he countered. "Seriously what is the plan? I mean what are we going to do next and exactly where are we?"

She opened the computer sitting forward in the chair, and set the machine on the coffee table.

"Okay, first of all, we are in my grandparent's old cottage. It's not really a cottage per say, but my grandfather worked as lead technician when Esthar ordered the building of the Dollet communication tower. Later it served as the groundskeeper's residence. Eventually somebody might track it down, but right now it's the safest place I can…we can be."

"Second of all," she paused for a long time before saying the words, "we have a bigger problem."

"What can be a bigger problem than the situation we're in right now? The World Council can't decide what wine to serve with stuffed chocobo?" Zell figured the girl had a knack for being overdramatic, at least in his eyes.

"No, I wish. Richard Bennett was murdered this evening," she explained.

Irvine leaned forward, "So is Rinoa being blamed for this death too?"

"Damn it," Alex hastily replied. "Rinoa never killed _anyone,_ not Ellone, and certainly not Richard Bennett. However, they have a suspect and are currently trying to track down…Commander Squall Leonhart."

"Oh Hyne," Irvine sighed as he closed his eyes. "Squall couldn't kill someone like that, not unless there were extenuating circumstances."

"Oh trust me, there are circumstances, but I don't think he did this either. Rinoa will try to make it here. I think they'll be together, call it a feeling or intuition. She'll come here," Alex spoke with confidence. "If Rinoa is okay she will do everything in her power, and then some, to see her daughter again. It was always a back up plan, if something went wrong. I was supposed to give Allison a normal life…I promised."

Zell looked at the child in his arms, then back to the woman sitting next to him.

"Tell me about Rinoa…how is she?" he asked with true concern.

Alex smiled as she covered the little girl with a blanket. "Rinoa will be okay if Richard is dead. Zell she was lost and I did all I could…it just wasn't enough. I wasn't the one she needed, as some people can never be replaced. Allison was her only link to sanity, I'm afraid for her if that link is gone. Her spirit has been broken."

"So, if Richard is dead what does this mean? Can't Allison live with her grandparents or something? I mean the little girl should be with her family…trust me, I know."

"Her grandparents…ah… well_ that's_ a little more complicated than it sounds," she said softly. Alexandra reached up and felt the golden metallic ring around her neck.

"Forgive me, Rinoa…look you guys I need your help. Everything has gone wrong, _everything_. Irvine you asked me about the Griever ring earlier…well I said it was from a friend it was, Rinoa. One day I saw her sketching this design. I asked about it and she didn't say anything. Completely froze up. I figured it meant something to her, later she said it was a ring she once had…and missed more than anyone could possibly know. So, I took one of her drawings to jeweler and had them duplicate it, as close as possible. I gave it her on Allison's first birthday. All Rinoa could do was cry, she never had it on her person or anything, never talked about it. The night we met in the stables, before I left, she gave me a small satchel with some Gil in it. The ring was at the bottom, with a note attached…to give it to Allison.

Unexpectedly, to even him, Zell looked at the sleeping baby. A thought flashed through his mind as quickly as the lighting bolts in his visions. All this time he had seen so much of Rinoa in Allison that he never stopped to think…

"Alex, how old is Allison?"

The woman pulled her brown hair into a ponytail. She acted as if the question fell on deaf ears, not even acknowledging the statement. After a moment, she reached over and touched the sleeping little girl, wiping some cookie crumbs off her tiny face.

"The birth certificate says she is fourteen-months-old," she finally stated simply. It was more than a statement; it was a set up for a question that Zell quickly caught on to.

"The _birth certificate _says she is fourteen-months-old?" he questioned. "So is the birth certificate right?"

"Zell the birth certificate states her mother's name was Renee Bennett, which we both know isn't correct. I'm pretty sure the only thing right on there is her weight."

"Oh my God," he exclaimed looking down at the child. Touching her warm cheek, he knew immediately who the father was. It was staring him right in the face the entire time. Somehow he already knew, Hyne willing Squall would too.

"Zell, I don't care what you think. Rinoa d_id not_ kill Ellone, the accounts are wrong. SeeD left her to die in the unforgiving world, pregnant with the commander's child. She ran to save Allison, not to abandon you. Richard was a means to an end, survival, nothing more. Only he was the one in power, he held the control. She was no better off with him than living on the streets…but Allison kept her there. We had to take his control away, so I took Allison. Sixteen months…Allison is sixteen months."

"How?" Irvine questioned looking completely stumped at the turn of events. "How in the world would Richard Bennett not know how old his daughter was? Well, I guess not his daughter…Rinoa's daughter?"

"Fate…Bennett had been elected to council during the last trimester. He spent three months in Deling after the election. Keeping an apartment there, he would commute back and forth for the first month…then he just stopped coming by. So, when Renee…_Rinoa_ gave birth he wasn't around. I was the only one there, and we hide it from the other two house servants. They never were around Rinoa anyhow, Richard made sure of that."

"I had worked previously in Esthar and still had some connections…so we had the false certificate made. Honestly, there is not a real one. There are only two people who know the truth…now four. Richard Bennett never had claim to this child, to him she was a pawn. Had he never once believed Allison not to be his, he would have most likely killed her. His jealous side was not pretty, neither was his betrayal side. He was nothing short of a demon, a spawn from hell. Part of me wants to mourn his death, but a bigger part of me is rejoicing."

"The only reason I'm telling you is because he is dead, nobody could have known otherwise…not even you two. Not even Squall. She wouldn't ever tell him, for fear of Allison's safety. I have a feeling we are now facing an even bigger enemy than Bennett...someone who wants the power that he kept locked away in his bedroom. Rinoa and Allison are even more at risk now. Somebody knows…somebody wants them dead."

* * *

The blazing fire roared in the cabin. Rinoa scrutinized every flame watching its fluid motions doing almost a dance, the way fire entwined with the searing kindling. The pure motion of the flames started to hypnotize her. Anything was better than situation she currently found herself in. Well, at least mentally.

How the hell could the fucking bastard? To turn on her, initiate the hunt on her life, and then literally beg forgiveness at ever doubting her allegiance. Squall Leonhart had fallen to his knees and actually begged. She had gained the capability to move the _irresistible force_; she broke the mighty fucking lion. For what? Was this the will of sorceress' power or was the desire deep within her heart? The little game earlier initiated by her uncontrollable sorceress' side was only meant only to hurt him, show control over his body. This was the spiteful beast she had transformed into over the last two years. This was what Squall Leonhart, Richard Bennett, President Jefferson Mitchell, and Garden had turned her into: their _toy_, their _scapegoat_, their _whore_.

Now the bastard showed genuine concern for her welfare, wanted to know of the life she tried desperately to keep hiding from him and the entire world. _Ally_, should she even tell him the truth on _his_ daughter? How she turned herself into a common street-whore to protect their child, when he was the one hunting her down like common prey. Now he was married, not to her, someone else shared his bed. The man, _the lion_, who could never t_ruly_ commit to anything made a lifelong promise to somebody else. That's exactly what the incident was about earlier; to show she could still had the power to emotionally and physically dominate him. Rinoa Heartilly learned this form of sub servitude, no, _Renee Bennett_ had erudite to it.

Thinking the name of her former persona made bile rise within her throat. Allison would forever bare an emotional scar from Richard Bennett. Her daughter would never know her own mother's given name, only the lies that were engineered about the untimely death of Renee Bennett. Maybe it was for the best, Ally would never be safe knowing the unspeakable truth. It was better to continue living the lie for the little girls' sake. What of Squall Leonhart, the unknowing father? Did he give up his parental rights when he ordered the assassination of the _vile sorceress_ and his unborn child? Would the outcome have been different had he known of the pregnancy? No, it would not have. She was still put on trial and abruptly convicted for the murder of Ellone Loire; her physical condition played no factor in the guilty decree.

What was upsetting Rinoa now was that her own body was betraying her. She, whatever form of her was in control, honestly would have gone through with the seduction early had _he_ not stopped it. Power, it was all about the power of control. What Rinoa had to face now was that balance of power had shifted; there wasn't one damn thing she could do about it. _Time…_time was her biggest enemy. The longer she remained in _his_ presence the more her thoughts turned to that of obsession, derived from the love she still carried for this man. She wanted him now more than ever; she wanted him to imprison her mind, body, her soul and never let go.

Pulling her knees to her chest, Rinoa started to rock slowly back and forth. Wishing he wouldn't return, more afraid what would happen if he didn't. The harsh wind beat against the small glass windowpane. The curtains were enough to shield the brutal elements from sight, but never enough to keep them out of mind. Why would anybody choose to spend a winter in Trabia; she knew she sure as hell wouldn't if given the freedom of choice. But choice was not in her near future, nor may it ever be again. Her path was chosen not by her, but others of this world…each knowing how dangerous it would be allowing a sorceress to roam free.

* * *

Squall gathered enough wood to last them throughout the piercing night. It was viciously cold, as no feeling remained in any of his outer extremities. Although in the long run, that may be good thing. He did not deserve to feel emotions or physical sensations. He had given up those privileges two years ago. He had doubted her. Rinoa had never given him anything but unconditional love, and he took her selfless gift and turned into a cruel joke. No matter how hard, he would try to explain his actions to her. One fact shall always remain…he alone had ordered the capture and the assassination of the sorceress, of the only person he ever loved.

Every step became harder to take in the drifting snow. The cabin was in sight now, the warm glow of the fire illuminated the otherwise dark, wintry night. How could he face Rinoa after earlier this evening, after the raw passion that almost had transpired between them? Moreover, how he wished to Hyne he hadn't stopped her advances, not even for one second. The desire to feel her skin against his was overwhelming, even in the freezing temperatures. Desire alone kept him going tonight; most men would have given to the harsh elements long ago. He knew of her power, he knew of the situation, he didn't care. Although he was quite aware that he didn't deserve the physical pleasure, he would turn the tables on her tonight, even if it would be their last night together. Squall Leonhart never properly got to say goodbye.

* * *

The boat rocked back and forth in the gusty Trabian winds. Quistis lay on what the captain _claimed_ to be a bunk, staring at the copper pipes above her. Each in an endless maze, circling and going nowhere…she could empathize. The waves crashed into the hull. Otherwise, sound would be almost nonexistent. She had left Seifer only an hour ago, yet now it seemed more like infinity.

A strange echo resonated throughout the corridor. For a moment, she truly believed in ghost ships, as only something not of this earth could make such a horrendous sound. Quistis got off her bed and went to the small cabin door, as she opened it she could see Seifer propping himself against the wall. The minute the door opened, his expression tried to turn from _almost dead_, to only _partially dead_. A greenish hint covered his face. He did not hide it well.

"Seifer, are you okay?" she asked redundantly, the answer excruciatingly obvious.

"Yeah fine," he fought to say the words with a straight face. "I just wanted to check and see how you were doing…really."

Rolling her eyes, she stepped out into the narrow corridor and grabbed his arm. Never articulating a word, she dragged him in and ushered him onto one of the small beds. Removing one of the extra pillows from the upper birth, she handed it to him, and then took a seat directly across from him on the other lower bunk.

"Seifer, if you stay on this deck tonight it will help, we are closer to ocean level. The center of gravity is more stabilized, thereby cutting down the motional effects on your equilibrium," she informed instructor tone noticeable. Taking one look at his bewildered expression, she shook her head, "You won't feel the boat rocking as much, okay?"

That he understood.

"Thanks Quistis didn't think you would be inviting me to stay in your room so soon. It was inevitable…but I didn't think it would be _this_ soon."

"Don't flatter yourself," she replied, only half-teasing. "How come I never remember you being seasick before? At Garden you were in plenty of moving boats, and I was under the impression you and your posse fish often?"

He smiled weakly through his condition, "Moving…_moving_ being key. If it's going forward it doesn't bother me as much, but have you seen those waves? I can't handle the back and forth motion. As for the fishing, we were always at a dock…nice solid ground. I'll tell you something if you can keep a secret."

Now curiosity had the better of her. Moving from the bed she was currently occupying, she sat on the edge of his bunk. Never verbally responding to him, she didn't have to. They understood each other, on a deeper level than either could have imagined. Two people brought together under dire circumstances, two people who needed each other more than either thought possible.

"I can't go on playground swings either…they make me sick."

Covering her mouth, she tried to hide her chuckle, but failed miserably. The thought of someone as resilient and self-sufficient as Seifer Almasy unable to handle a simple swing was extremely entertaining. Quistis could tell he was irritated at her laughter, his face now a strange mixture of angry-red and baby-puke green. It was enough to make her overlook the worries, and forget the troubles. Somehow, this man had a way of easing her conscious, easing her soul. She felt an unexpected need to tend to him; the same she had spend her entire life yearning to do with Squall. As her laughter resided, she grabbed a gray-woolen throw and covered him.

"Sorry Seifer," she pleaded with tears of laughter trying not to escape her eyes. "Thank you. Thank you for making me laugh. It's been so long, I don't remember what it feels like to be happy, to be free anymore."

"Come here," he rejoined gently grabbing her arm and lowering her next to him. "I'm glad you can laugh again…just sorry it's at me. I really am sorry everything turned out this way. I promise we will make it through this…together."

She laid her head upon his chest as he carefully put his arm around her. "Seifer, what happens to you when this is over? What are you going to do now…are you going into hiding again?" she asked, truthfully afraid of the reply.

"I…um…I don't really know," wavering in his voice, revealed more emotion than he had aspired. "I guess there are only two choices…either I go back underground or I turn myself to Garden, facing the consequences. Maybe the redemption I seek can only be gained after I justly pay for my actions…even if that means death. It's not for me to decide."

Closing her eyes, she swallowed. Deep within her stomach, she suddenly felt as ill as Seifer, if not more. Five days ago she would have lead the execution, now it was not the case. Fate was cruel once again. She spent all her life in love with someone who didn't want her, now she was falling for someone she couldn't be with.

"Quistis, let's not think about that right now. Nothing we can do will take away the past, facing our future is inevitable. Right now, let's just live in the present. Don't think about tomorrow's press conference, what will become of me, or locating Squall and Rinoa. Those things will work themselves out, even if we don't like the outcome. We can't change our destiny."

"If we can't change destiny, how do you explain everything that has happened…the things with Ultimecia and Ellone? If we can't change our destiny why try to do any of this?"

He mustered a small laugh, "Quistis, if you can change it, then it was truly never your destiny. Your true destiny cannot be changed. But we can control our mistakes, face our crimes, and make _that_ our destiny…agrhhh…. This is giving me an aneurysm. Let's not talk about it anymore. I don't need to feel anymore stress."

She closed her eyes, impishly murmuring, "I see it's in your destiny to stay with me tonight. Like this, just us. Not the pressure of being whoever others want us to be, living up to a reputation or image that is not our true persona…just being us."

He memorized everything about her, not wanting the moment to end. Never in his life had he experienced this serge of emotion. Before he always felt the need to push away or hide behind masks. He had loved Rinoa, she was his first love, and he still cared for her genuinely. Nevertheless, even when they were together, he knew that she didn't truly love him. They were not soul mates.

The winds seemed to be dying down outside, as the boat slowed its rocking. On the other hand, maybe, it was just in his mind. For the first time in an hour he felt well, better than well, he felt complete.

* * *

She heard the sound of the door opening, yet Rinoa made no attempt to get off the soft rug to help. She just sat in front of the fire, not letting her eyes wander around the room. Every footstep made her more nervous, yet refusing to show the outward signs. The dark night transformed one of the forward windows into a makeshift mirror; she could watch every move Squall made. She tried not to, but that was asking the impossible.

He set the chopped wood down near the doorway. His face seemed red, chapped from the frigid winds. She tried like hell not to stare at him, everything about him seemed…so familiar yet so distant at the same time. His hair shorter now, his face matured by more stress than the two years. Still, every feature about him was so…_damn perfect_. The way she remembered, the way she fantasized. The nights she spent holding in the tears…over the man who now stood within arms reach.

The entire time she tried not to watch him, he tried not to stop watching her.

When Squall finished bringing in the last of the kindling, he caught sight of the northern window. It was a strange relief to know that she was studying him. It was the first real sign that old feelings still lingered. At least that is what he prayed it meant. But as earlier events proved, nothing was quite as it seemed with Rinoa Heartilly anymore. This small opportunity that presented itself, this might be his only chance to try to talk civilized with her.

He missed that.

"You know that your father punched me in front of the entire World Council the other day."

Squall didn't even know why he was attempting this conversation… Him initiating a conversation…this was a new one, even to him.

Over the last couple of years, she thought of her father and their relationship. Last time she had seen him too was that fateful night back in Deling. She had some information about him, Alexandra had told her bits and pieces. Rinoa often thought of what his reaction would be in learning he was a grandfather. Caraway never liked Squall, never thought anyone was good enough for his daughter. Maybe she should have listened to his complaints, his warnings about the young, emotionally immature commander.

Shaking the thought from her head…no he might have been right about the outcome. Nevertheless, admitting to only herself, she wouldn't ever want to forget the journey they took to get here.

"Well, I guess that's the first thing I can be proud of him for in the last ten years."

The words escaped her mouth before she could stop them. However they weren't in anger, more of a sarcastic nature. She was good at that. Sarcasm was a mask easily hid behind.

"Never knew the General had such the right hook, guess I know who taught you."

A diminutive smiled crept upon her face, although she tried in vain to restrain it. "You had that one coming too…"

"As I seem to recall, I specifically said _don't punch me yet_. I never tried teaching you self-defense again. Guess I wasn't much of an instructor…not much of a commander either."

From the reflection, she could see him sitting on the small bed. His coat and gloves still remained on. Whether it was a moment of weakness _or of strength_, she didn't know, but for some godforsaken reason she had a sense of pity for him. It hadn't been that long ago she had escaped the city in the freezing temperatures.

"Squall look, you went out and chopped the firewood…if you're cold… Look, I don't own this place or anything. If you want to sit by the fire, then I can't stop you."

He was cold. Yes. But Squall Leonhart, a SeeD, had been in much more grim a circumstance than this. The fire was only an excuse for him to get next to what he really needed…_her_.

Never turning her head to look at him as he sat only feet from her, Rinoa kept her eyes forward.

"Squall, how is he doing really? We fought before…but nothing like this. Does he think that I…"

"No," he cut her off before she could say the words. They still hurt. "Actually, he thought the whole thing never seemed right from the beginning. We had to act as if we were on different sides…but he misses you Rinoa. It's hard for him. His only daughter wanted by the very government that he spent his entire career working for. He might not have showed it to you…but you were everything to him."

She knew that he was no longer speaking of her father. A sound somewhere between a gasp and sigh escaped her lips as she tried to regain her self-control. Damn him, he was not going to make this night easy, he never made things easy.

"Caraway knows we are up here. He always believed in you Rin…even when I didn't. He's a good man, some day _please_ try to forgive him for his mistakes. We all carry them. Some more than others."

"Do you love her?"

Shit. Rinoa couldn't believe she said that. Thinking about something and blurting it aloud are two completely different things. Now Squall knew that she couldn't get past this, past his marriage. Tears rolled down her face as she pulled her knees tighter to her chest, placing her head on them. She turned her face as far away from him as possible.

"I'm sorry Squall, I didn't mean to ask. It's not any of my business…please just forget it."

"No Rinoa…. No, I don't love her now, nor did I ever. At times I wished that I cared a little bit more about her, and then I could have spared us both from this farce. I needed to prove to the World Council and Cid that I was over you… I was going to be asked to step down as commander. They wanted me to show that I had moved on. If anyone was going to lead the hunt for you, it was damn well going to be me."

It was something between a laugh and a cry, he could not tell. Maybe it was just the pain of hearing it again, or the horrible fact sinking into her mind.

"So Squall, basically what you are saying is that you didn't want to marry me, but you would marry _for me_. Was it a nice ceremony?"

"Please don't do this…to you or me. It's hard for me to talk about."

"It's hard for you to talk about, but it's easy for you to still wear your wedding ring…if in fact your marriage is over!"

He was the first to look at her, even though she had not acknowledged his presence, her head still turned as he could hear her attempts to stop crying.

"Hyne Rinoa, to be over there would actually have to be a start. Trust me there never was." Taking off his wedding ring, he made a fist around it, "I forgot this fucking thing was on. Don't you get it? It was because…_oh forget it_. You don't want to hear it…I don't want to say it anymore."

With an immense force, he threw the band into the fire. It hit the outer brick wall and angled off the side, before finally landing - being consumed in the flames and ash. In reality, the platinum would still remain in the cinders, yet the significance would be scorched in the fire.

When the metal echoed through the chimney, she gambled, turning her eyes toward him. Regrettably, he was no longer watching her. For the first time she truthfully started to comprehend his way of thinking. In actuality, it paralleled her own situation, her own spurious marriage. She married, per say, to defend her and Allison's lives. Would it be that outrageous if Squall had done the same? Even if he thought she was guilty, he made the sacrifice. It was far more difficult for him to marry someone without love, than to marry for love. To him it would be the definitive sacrifice, his principles for her protection. For the first time, she understood his position on accepting a spouse.

Wiping her eyes a thought dawned on her, "You said you _didn't _make a very good commander aren't you…"

"I'm quitting," his answer was short and brusque.

"Does this have anything to do with me? I didn't mean to ruin your career too."

Squall was aware of her facing him. If he looked straight ahead, he could answer this question the way his mind directed him to. If he looked at her, his answer would be the way his heart desired to. He made the choice subconsciously, his mind had been in charge for the last two years, and it was time that his heart won this single battle. He inescapably wanted his heart to win this entire war. As he saw her face, upset and full of sorrow…his heart won over his mind.

"Rinoa, everything I have always done is because of you. Even before I met you, the paths I chose were all leading to you…to us. My career is nothing, I am nothing. If they want to hunt you, they will have to kill me in the process. I know it's of a little consequence now, but you are still everything to me."

Closing her eyes, a million thoughts filled her mind. This wasn't happening. She had to protect herself from him…from the pain he would inevitable cause. Squall had no idea what he was getting himself into, the world wanted her dead…there was still time for him to save himself. She recognized that it wasn't his fault, although he wasn't faultless, but society had branded her the traitor before the incident.

From the first day Esthar had imprisoned her, to the last day spent in the cabin, she was a source of trepidation to them. The World Council and all that opposed it. They all needed her, every one of those bastards would sacrifice her mind and body without hesitation. The title of sorceress held more supremacy than even she appreciated. Squall had little or no influence on the events, she decided to fight beside them in Galbadia and she alone would have to undergo the consequences.

No, he was not to blame for the quandary. She accepted the truth that he suffered as much, if not greater than she had. Bennett might have physically abused her, but she always held on to a sliver of reality with Allison. Squall was alone, just as he always had been. _Alone_. Reaching in her pocket, she found the platinum chain she held dear for so long. Her mother's ring was just as she remembered, Julia another life that had been stolen by destiny. She balled her hand into a small fist, letting this ring too imprint onto her palm.

"I know after everything that has happened between us, I have no right making this request. But I must ask you a favor, no questions asked. Please tell me I have earned that much from these fucking years of torment."

He watched intently as she looked at her mother's ring on the chain. A moment of sadness crept into his body, paining him to see that his ring was no longer adorning the chain next to hers, as it had been for five years…as it should be. He intentionally made an attempt to feel through his coat, seeing if the ring was still in pocket, it was. She put her trembling hand on the floor as she leaned over to him.

"Squall please, take this back. If something happens to me, give it Alexandra she will know what to do with it. I know it might be impossible to locate her. My guess is someday you'll understand how to reach her. It's all I ask of you."

He leaned over and took the delicate chain back, strange at the honor the silvery chain provided. His first thought was to place it in is pocket with his Griever. In a moment of almost defiance, he decided to place it back around his neck. The metal offered an unearthly comfort of serenity in his life. He took his coat off placing it in a heap to the side.

She watched in wonderment as he removed his jacket not sure of what he was doing, until she saw him attempting to place the chain around his neck. The clasp was small and his coarse hands were not used to such delicate procedures. His hands. For an ethereal moment, she studied them, every line, every scar. Remembering when those hands would hold and caress her. After an uncomfortable moment of silence, she realized he had been watching her – watching him. Trying the best to cover her momentary weakness, she leaned toward him wordlessly offering her help.

Reaching for the chain, she realized they were closer than they had been this entire time. She avoided his eyes, turning her attention at the difficult fastener. After a couple of failed attempts, she rose to her knees trying to get a better angle for her vision. Fumbling with it, she brushed the back of her hand on his neck. The feeling of his flesh was electrifying to her…it was almost too much to bear. The task almost seemed impossible, her hands now shaking from the nervousness she was failing greatly at concealing.

Finally, she managed to get the clasp, and then accidentally looked at his face. Only to realize that during her attempts to do the chain and avoid eye contact, she had accidentally given him the perfect view of her chest. He quickly darted his eyes back to the fire, a feeble attempt at hiding the fact that he was taking advantage of his viewpoint.

The expression on the normally stern commander's face almost made her want to smile. His cheeks were a combination of cherry hues from both the exposure to the snow and the exposure to her chest. She sat back on her legs, unsure of anything at the moment. For some unknown reason she didn't want to leave his proximity. No, that wasn't true, she damn well _knew _the reason she didn't want to leave the closeness. His expression changed as she watch his eyes change from embarrassed to uncharacteristically mischievous. Turning his head quickly he looked her directly in the eyes.

"I know after everything that has happened…I have no rights. But I need a favor, no questions asked."

"What?" she asked apprehensively.

"Kiss me. One last time…I want to remember what it's like."

Fear had now taken full command of her emotions. Never had he been so direct. She couldn't do this. She needed to get away from him, _far away_. Where nobody could hurt her or Allison…she had to be strong, to stick to her arrangement.

"I kissed you earlier. Doesn't that count?" she answered back, hoping that would be enough.

He quickly placed one of his fingers on her lips, her heart felt as if it stopped beating with the contact.

"I said no questions, remember? Plus, that wasn't you. That was Renee Bennett…I don't want her, I want you Rinoa."

Somehow, her vision blurred or she just lost sight of reality, the next thing she knew his lips were centimeters from hers. This is what she fantasized about, she dreamed. This moment, this reunion…him. Logic told her to get up, leave, and never look back. Have him go back to Garden, his job, and _his wife_.

Fuck logic.

She met his lips as tears formed not in the corner of her eyes this time, but in his. He was really there. They were really there. And for Hyne knows what reason, she still was deeply in love with him.

* * *

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen: Friction **

Since the beginning of time, men dreamed and poets wrote, wars have been raged and lives ruined. For life is over in a blink of an eye, a fraction of time in history. The most we can hope is to have one moment in time; one moment that makes life worth living. The pain and the sorrow, fail in comparison to _that_ moment. Most spend eternity dreaming of such a time. Two people found _that_ time. With a solitary kiss, life had new meaning, a reviewed passion, a purpose…each other.

His lips, his breath, everything…it was him. Rinoa wanted to do nothing more than pull away, but she knew that wouldn't happen. She needed him, more than humanly possible. Her spirit had been broken, and with that, the trust gone. Love is nothing without trust…

The only way to trust again was to allow herself _that_ pleasure, to ignore the pain, to forget the past and move on. Right now, she needed to feel him, feel his heartbeat, and feel his skin on hers. Damn him…all this from one kiss, one simple request.

For his part, he refused to yield. The moment would be over too soon, no matter how long it lasted. And he was afraid. Afraid she would leave, just as before…afraid of being alone. But most of all, afraid at who he'd become, a mere shadow of his former self. He was nothing without her. Finally, Squall knew that.

She did it. As hard as it was, she was the one to break the contact.

"Squall," softly she spoke looking down at her mother's ring around his neck. "I'm sorry. I don't know what to think right now. I don't know what to feel."

He caressed her check as she tilted her head toward the touch.

"Stop trying, Rin. Stop _trying_ to think, stop _trying_ to feel," his voice a whisper of his normal tone. "Just feel."

She closed her eyes for a second, thoughts racing. Rinoa was about to state her decision aloud, but before she knew it, he leaned over and seized her with a passion she had so often dreamed of. His hand reaching her back as his lips passionately met hers. Guiding her body toward his, he started to lower himself onto the rug. His back met the floor as she lay on top of him. Neither spoke, neither could, as each second became more heated.

Damn him yet again, how did he know her decision? They deserved tonight. They needed tonight. Her future was not one of hope, the best she could do is live in the present, _that_ moment…the one many could only dream.

His hands made their way to her shirt, as he silently started removing it. For a second she stopped, as did his heart. But, she only smiled and helped take off the garment. When that task complete, he sat up, every so slightly, removing his own shirt. Rinoa reached down to feel his chest, his skin…allowing herself to remember. Sensations ran through her body from her fingertips, as they met with his flesh.

The fire highlighted his eyes. Each shade stood out, colors never seen reflected off the flames. Again, Rinoa felt the overwhelming need to feel his lips, his mouth, and his tongue. Everything that was him. She lowered her body onto his, as he reached his arms around her bare skin. Before their lips could meet again, she let out a gasp as his ribs touched hers.

He froze.

Rinoa sat straight up, as Squall lay under her. He tenderly ran his fingers over the violet and black bruises on her side; she flinched at the painful contact. With the deepest of concern, his eyes met hers. She nodded silently, giving him permission to do what she denied fervently earlier.

Carefully, he placed the tips of his fingers over the abrasions, as an amber light radiated from the union. The dark hues gradually faded to lighter ones, but never completely disappearing. Smiling wearily at him, she took his hand from her side. Softly intertwining their fingers, she mouthed the words, "thank you." He returned the gaze with intensity and concern before, what appeared to be, the tiniest of smiles…a feeling foreign to him for over two years.

She leaned down to him, her face close to his, but never meeting. Stretching her body, Rinoa softly kissed his temple, then lowered just a tad and kissed his scar. Something she wished she could take away, yet even spells had their limitations. The scars they both carried would never disappear. Never fade. Reaching her free hand up she moved her fingers to his hair, reminiscing about how long it used to be.

"Your hair is shorter," she said almost teasingly.

He returned the gesture, tucking some stray hairs behind her ears.

"Yours is too. We did what we had to do to survive."

Rinoa giggled openly, "You _had _to cut your hair? I think that may be stretching it a little."

She followed up giving him a tender kiss on his lips, which he strained desperately to maintain as she broke away.

"I had to try to forget about whom I was…who we were. I don't want to forget…_please…help me remember_."

Answering his pleas, she pressed against him tightly, letting him feel every inch of her body. He could smell the sent of the soap, the shampoo, and of the vanilla lotion she used earlier in the cabin. Every smell only incited him more, his body remembering that which his mind tried greatly to repress. Reaching around to her back, Squall effortlessly undid her bra clasp. She was right that first day back in Balamb, he _had_ become a professional over time.

He grabbed the strap and hastily tossed it over his head. A small gasp escaped her as their lips met and their bare chests connected. This time she didn't pull away as he deeply returned the kiss.

Never breaking contact, he reached for the nape of her neck, and gently, lovingly rolled her onto her back, allowing himself to take a dominant position. Rinoa reached up and undid his belts, again, something she no longer fumbled over. Flinging his pants aside, just as he had done the bra, clothes were being tossed and strewn all over the small room. It had been so long, yet it only seemed like yesterday they were in this same position. Everything came flooding back…sounds, sights, memories. Their past became the present, for at that moment they were the Squall Leonhart and Rinoa Heartilly of long ago.

When their bodies finally united he looked down at her, she lay under him as beautiful as ever.

"Hyne, I've missed you Rinoa. I never knew how much I could miss this closeness."

She looked back up to him, placing her hand on his cheek, "Just tell me you're real."

Caressing her shoulders and forearms he looked into her soul assuring her, "I'm really here."

Closing his eyes, Squall fought with his mind. So many times, he had envisioned this situation; it was the only way he managed when she was gone. But then, when he opened his eyes, it was never _she_ with him…always someone else. The thought almost made him sick. He abruptly opened his eyes, to reassure to his mind what his heart already knew. Gasping out of breath, he spoke to her.

"Rinoa…please look at me. I have to know it's really you."

She opened her eyes quickly trying not to get lost in the feelings. His eyes were so serious, so scared. Even now in the most intimate of moments he needed her, needed the solace only she could provide. _Only her_. This is something the old Squall Leonhart would have never done, yet the feeling was truly amazing.

They watched each other for the entire union. Each helping the other forget the pain, together they reclaimed past moments. Together they again became one. When it was over, he dreaded breaking the contact. Feeling as if the dream would end, fade away into nothingness and he again, would wake up alone at his desk. This dream should not end, could not end. He could not survive the separation a second time.

Rinoa reached up placing her finger in her mother's ring as it lay dangling between her and Squall. Tears once again formed in the corner of her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Her eyes never leaving his, her heart never leaving his.

"You know she really never loved him, she just married him…maybe she did it for her career, maybe she did because she thought she lost her chance at love with your father, maybe she did it for reasons I'll never understand. I think she grew to care about him, but it was never love. I don't have too much of her, the wedding ring, a few photographs, and fragments of memories. Memories I'm not even certain are mine, not figments of my imagination."

Squall exhaled, sighing as he finally rolled onto his back. The contact was broken, thank Hyne, she was still there. The dream did not fade away. With his right arm, he grabbed what appeared to be a pair of pants and balled them up into a makeshift pillow. Never breaking the physical connection with her, he pulled her into his arms. She rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat racing.

"Rinoa, don't compare our situations to hers. There is no comparison." He reached his hand smoothing her dark hair, explaining, "I know what you're doing. Your parents might not have had the perfect relationship, but they did care about each other. They both loved you. Richard Bennett and your father are nothing alike. We might have had our differences, but I respect Caraway greatly. There is no respect for Bennett, he is no man."

She laid her hand on his chest, feeling both his breathing and the rhythm of beating heart. Squall did know her. Ever since she _married_ Bennett, she couldn't help but parallel the two stories. Although through a technicality, legally she wasn't truly married to the man, the wedding was under a fictitious name. Nevertheless, the union in all other senses was real; she wished she could erase the repulsion from her mind. The thought of Allison learning of that marriage made her queasy just to think about.

What she had told Squall earlier was the truth, Alexandra would seek him out eventually…if timing and circumstances were right. There always was a contingency plan, if the situation warranted dire enough. Alex would go to Squall over Bennett. Deep down inside, between the two men, she had always believed Squall would do the right thing. For a moment she thought of telling him the truth about Allison, yet some unseen force was her holding back. Maybe it was just the thought of ruining this perfect night, perfect moment. There was always tomorrow, although she did not have many _tomorrows_ left.

Was tonight just lust and desire, or was it more? She knew. It was love. Damn it, she still loved Squall Leonhart, more than words could describe sensations and feelings beyond words, _beyond love, beyond fear_. The simple fact remained…it couldn't be. The next words were the hardest she would say tonight, or ever, through her entire life. For these words were not spoken out of anger as earlier, but out of love.

"Tomorrow I'm leaving. Squall, please go back to Garden…go home. I can't…I can't be responsible for you losing your freedom. I have to find Alex. I have to make sure my daughter is safe. He's never going to leave me alone…I have no future. _You do_. You're still commander and with that you can go on."

She tried to be strong, gods she tried. Yet, the next words felt as if someone thrust a dagger into her chest, now they were maliciously turning it.

"Squall, go home to your wife. This is our past. Thank you for tonight, I will never forget it. But somewhere out there is your future. I'm not a part of it. I...can't be."

* * *

The harsh winds died down, giving way to peaceful night. The air still frigid, but somehow a soothing comfort. Seifer could see the bright stars through the porthole window, each having a life of its own. This far north they seemed closer, if only psychologically. One could reach out and touch the celestial bodies, at least with the mind's eye. He found himself drawing imaginary lines, making beast and friend alike. Sailors had done this for centuries, navigating by the stars themselves. They drew a map, a map of time, a map of direction. For a second, he found himself lost in their beauty and majesty.

Seifer never paid much attention to simple things, always wrapped up in an illustrious dream, never stopping to notice the beauty of those around. _Like Quistis_. Her blonde hair tickling his face, with every breath she took. However, he dared not move the closeness, euphoria unlike anything else he had experienced.

Each sense was awake with exuberance. His ears heard her deep, even breaths. His nose smelled the slight essence of coconut shampoo. His mouth, tasted the mixture of coconuts and _her_, the taste of her upon his lips. His eyes saw her beauty, outward and her inner being. However, most of all, his skin could register her touch - each point of their bodies that contacted, each strand of hair, the most welcome phenomenon.

Involuntarily he moved his arm, attempting to wake the numbness that was overtaking. With that simple motion, she moved. Seifer damned himself for budging, as she rolled to the other side. Her breathing became heavier after the shift. Turning toward her, Seifer watched as her long blonde hair lay softly draped over the pillow. A sudden urge took over and he reached his hand and soothed her velvety hair. The texture was amazing, a cross between silk and heaven, _nothing short of heaven_.

Quistis' body tensed, as a gasp escaped her lips. Suddenly he could tell that she was dreaming, but regrettably, it did not appear to be one of a blissful nature. Her body stressed, and he could hear incoherent words as she uttered them. For the most part, they were nothing more than a foreign language, only understood by her.

Over the mutters she finally cried, "_Squall…please..._"

In that moment, his heart sank. How foolish was he to think that in a four-day period she could forget a lifetime of desire? Squall was her husband, for Hyne's sake, the one she vowed to cherish forever. For his part, Seifer was aware that the commander had not taken the vows seriously. But, Quistis _did_. Squall never married for love, sadly, Quistis had. He closed his eyes as she echoed the words yet again…

"_Squall…please I need you_…"

This time Seifer could make out more of her fraught pleas. A sudden desolation took over his body. The tired man turned the rejection into a form of sick laughter. How fucking ironic was this? He was now the weaker man. His mind recalled a time he dreamed of comfort before, with results that devastated an entire nation. Last time though, he searched beyond his generation, beyond many lifetimes of generations. Ultimecia offered such comfort to him, such promises. Quistis was only human, which made the situation that much more difficult to sustain. This time he couldn't claim enchantment, or spells. This time, it was only his misplaced desires.

Silently, he started to roll off the bed. For some reason he found himself hostile towards her, even though it was truthfully not her fault. No, maybe the hostility was not directed at her, but at himself. The moonlight shown through the window as the grey and copper metal reflected an almost greenish tint. Somehow, the same sky that looked beautiful earlier now looked as it was scorning his feelings.

As angry as the man was, for some reason, he wanted to stay…maybe not next to her, but close. Feelings are funny that way. His shaking hand hesitated as it reached for the door; he looked back over his shoulder one last time, torn between two thoughts.

Leave or stay.

As if an answer to his question, she called out again…this time the words completely legible.

"_Squall…please I need you_ _to find her_."

* * *

In an instant she screamed, it was the only sound audible within the small building. She hadn't meant to, but the visions so exhaustive they forever would haunt her mind. The bedroom door quickly flew open and the baby began to cry. When she regained her bearings, Alexandra reached her shaking hand out to comfort the child. She was surprised when the moonlight revealed Zell consoling Allison, holding her close, caressing her fine hair with his hand. Slightly rocking back and forth, he gently rested his head on hers, offering the warmth of human comfort.

Her sight cleared as the shadows of darkness slowly began to take familiar forms. Irvine stood in the doorway, the light behind him diluted all features. The familiar cowboy hat was the only notable silhouette. Again, the horrible images flashed through her eyes, and she found an overwhelming need to disappear.

Neither man had spoken, giving Alexandra time to regain equanimity. Pulling the sheets to her chest, she tried to hide her confusion. Allison stopped crying and now was resting her head on Zell's shoulder, azure eyes never closing. They held a mischievous curiosity, childlike innocents that Alex, and the others with her, could never reclaim. The little girl looked at the bed, and then around the room with growing concern.

"_Ma'ma_?" a tired voice spoke softly, and then a second time with more urgency, "_Ma'ma_?"

"She's not here right now, honey," Alex choked out. "Auntie Alex is sorry, but she will be here soon. Promise. Ma'ma loves you."

The words did not seem to comfort the child, as she began crying again. Irvine walked over to Zell, and stretched his arms out to the girl.

"Hey you, young en'…let's say we go find some cookies and juice. Who doesn't love some juice in a baba…er…bottle."

The child hesitantly went to the stranger, but through the tears did manage to squeak out the word, "_juice?_" As they left the room, Zell finally directed a question toward Alex.

"So…you okay?"

"Yeah," she lied. "Just a bad dream…nothing important."

Sitting on the edge of the bed, the slightly perplexed man looked at the red-numbered lights of the clock.

"It's not 4:27. Are you sure you should be up?"

She let out a sound somewhat a mix between a laugh and cough, "_You too_?"

"Yeah, that kinda got annoying. But, sometimes waking up from that nightmare was a bigger comfort."

Pulling her hair from her face, she tucked strands behind her ears. "Well, at least that dream was the _only_ one you had to live with…I have others," sorrow filled her voice. "The visions of the dead are stronger than the living, they never forget…I wish they could learn to forgive."

"Wha?" he looked at her, curious at the comment.

Alex hid her eyes, "Never mind. I just had a bad dream, that's all. I'm sorry for waking you guys."

"We weren't sleeping," he replied. Part of him wanted to continue questioning her, as Zell knew she was hiding something else from them. Yet, he believed Alex would tell when she was ready and decided not to press any further. "We were trying to get a hold of some friends of ours through back channels. Irvine managed to get a hold of his girlfriend on a network chatroom by using names only we could understand."

For the first time she laughed aloud, "Irvine has a girlfriend? That...I didn't expect." Zell looked at her strange. She continued her brown eyes growing wider, "Oh, I didn't mean it _that_ way…I mean, oh never mind. Sorry, this place just brings back memories, both good and bad. We spent many summers up here."

"It was probably pretty nice back in its day," he tried to mean it as a compliment. "Your parents must have loved Dollet, or the communication tower."

"I never knew my parents," she said defensively. "I was…adopted by a doctor who took care of my mother."

Zell scratched the back of his head, and _half-teasingly_ asked, "Err…your mother's name wasn't Raine or you never lived in an orphanage, did you?"

"No?" she answered completely puzzled, "Why?"

"Ah…nothing just had to make sure. It's freaky enough about sharing the visions with you." Another strange thought entered his head, "A…you're not my sister or anything?"

"Your sister?" she laughed. "No, Zell. I think these are some of the strangest questions I've ever been asked." For some reason, there was an underlying tension within the air. She tried to break the apprehension with a more lighthearted statement, "Well it rates up there with the strangest question I was ever asked… _I'm a sorceress who is running from her estranged boyfriend, the Commander of SeeD, who has been accused of murder and now carrying his child… Do you think you could deliver the baby and then raise her as your own? _That was a pretty bizarre day too."

"Yeah, I bet…well, I'm going to check on Irvine and Allison. Do you want some water or anything?"

"No thanks," she replied smiling up at him. "I'm doing okay. Think I'm just going to lie back down. Allison might not want to go back to sleep…she's kinda a night owl."

"Yeah," he said closing her door. "She gets that from her father. But luckily, she seems to have more the curious personality of her mother."

* * *

To a certain degree, Squall actually pushed her off his chest, not with force but still in anger.

"You honestly think I can go back? Damn you, Rinoa. This is not a game to me, this is my fucking life. I don't lose you for two years to have you leave me in the morning. What do you want me to pay you too?"

_He did it._ For the second time tonight, his mouth said something he wished could be taken back. Earlier she poured her soul out to him, telling of how she degraded herself in Trabia. Now, he only cheapened that which just happened, something so beautiful…so indescribably magical. As with their love, it was truly above words. Squall could tell he hurt her. She didn't look up just curled into a fetal position, lightly trembling; she lay lost in the hurtful words.

Squall quickly moved over to her, kneeling back onto the rug.

"Oh, Hyne Rinoa. I didn't mean that. Please," he pleaded. "I'm an asshole…please. The thought of leaving you after so long is…I was barely alive before tonight. To lose you again, would be death."

He grabbed the quilt from the couch and walked over, delicately covering her body. Sitting next to the person who mattered most, Squall ran his fingers through her dark hair.

"Rinoa, I'm going with you. It's not a question, it's an answer. My life at Garden is over…my life with politics is over. I will fulfill the promise I broke so long ago. Please…it is my redemption, my salvation. I pledge my life to you as your friend, as your lover, and as your knight. Nobody will hurt you or Allison again. I promise."

She stopped shaking, whether it was the blanket, his pledge, or his proximity remained unknown. Rolling onto her back, she looked up at him. He placed a hand on her cheek and she mustered a tiny smile.

"Squall, there is just so much…too many enemies. I know you want to protect me, I know that now. But there is something between us that neither of us can forget happened. Squall I…I don't know if I can trust you with our lives. I want to, _Hyne I want to_, but something is keeping me from…there is just something I can't explain."

He grabbed two small couch pillows and lay on the floor next to her. She shared the blanket, he didn't ask, it was something done on instinct. Lying on his side, he watched as she continued to stare at the ceiling. Squall could tell she was afraid of the eye contact, exposing her naked body was nothing compared to her naked soul. He reached for her right hand that rested on the blanket, not positive how she would react.

For the briefest of moments she did not move. Finally a hesitation as she stretched her fingers, and then finally giving in, accepting his hand. He knew it was more. He could feel their strength as one return, as their souls united once again. The hand represented her decision, which she finally voiced. Turning to look him in the eyes, she smiled. A smile that melted his heart; one that made the days worth living, _life worth living_.

"Squall Leonhart, I would be honored if you would be my knight again."

* * *

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen: Contravene **

During that time between sleep and consciousness, a thousand wishes are made. Some simple, like five more minutes of sleep; some more complex than a lifetime of eternities. If one could find a happy medium, they are truly blessed. It is also the time when realization is upon you and dreams are sorted from actuality. A time when sensations return and truth is discovered. With every night comes the dawn…

Her first thought, 'how stiff her back muscles were.' Lying on her side, she stretched her legs, slightly arching her back. When reality dawned, Rinoa quickly opened her eyes. For a second, she saw only the cabin interior. The fire had died down, leaving only smoldering ash. A sudden apprehension took over when she noticed herself on the bed. Was yesterday one of her vivid daydreams? The thought made her nauseous…it was so perfect, it was so wonderful…

"Morning," a hoarse voice spoke softly from behind.

The smile couldn't stay away, it was real, _and he_ was real. Rolling onto her back, she stretched arms overhead as her eyes turned toward him. God, he was handsome, even after all this time, even after all the stress evident in his features. Their eyes locked, neither willing to move. Minutes they stayed there, neither saying a word…just taking in everything that was them.

Squall noticed how she had matured, her features more the woman than the girl he remembered from his dreams. Her shorter hair highlighted her face, as wispy strands fell into her eyes. What weight she had gained from the child, suited her well - giving her a shapelier and defined figure, but still perfect. Her smile, her smile…it hadn't changed, not one bit. She was still the saintly being, his angel, and his savior.

Rinoa found herself lost in his eyes; it had always been _his eyes_. On the surface, they appeared to be of blue, with traces of brown. However, on the inside they were the stormy river that led to his soul. His torment, and his sorrow, all shown openly within the tender gaze. She found herself drowning in his eyes, not wanting anyone to rescue her. When he made the slightest of sounds, whether a sigh, or a heavy breath, it brought her back into the truth. All of a sudden, she was no longer looking at his eyes…but those of Allison. Tensing at the thought of her helpless daughter, Squall could tell her sudden change in demeanor.

"Are you okay?" he asked tenderly placing a hand on her silken skin.

The physical contact shot electricity through her veins, as she replied, "Yeah, I'm fine. I just had a sudden thought about Ally…Squall, I'm so worried about her."

Sometimes it was hard for him to grasp the concept of Rinoa being a mother. Hell, he only found out yesterday. After all that transpired, nothing justly had time to sink in. For a second, an almost jealous feeling shrouded him that the child was on her mind during their moment. Even in that time, he inwardly cursed himself for such a thought, how fucking selfish. Then it occurred to him, the truth that he did not want to face. The truth he was resentful of…Richard Bennett was the father, not him. The jealousy was not with the child, it lay within the _paternity_. That bastard.

Honestly, children were never his thing. The junior cadets at Garden made him nervous enough and they were at least five. Maybe it was their disorder, maybe it was their lack of attention span, or maybe they represented everything he lost.

His childhood.

Watching their carefree ways and childish games made him uncomfortable, in return, he learned to resent what they stood for…_innocence_. Something lost to him long ago, and something that would be lost to them soon enough.

He told Rinoa once he didn't want children. It was easy writing it off to the job, or the danger of living at Garden in general. But the fact he hadn't faced then, or even now, was the thought of true, unconditional love. Someone that would wholly depend on him, for their survival, for their life. Moreover, something he was afraid of losing…or hurting as his father had done him.

Now after so long of not caring, he found himself in a discomfited situation. He would have to come face-to-face with his fears, for her, and for himself. Allison was part of Rinoa's life, and he would defend Ally just as he would her mother. The knight would honor his duty as protector of the child, in life and spirit, even if he wasn't the biological father.

His mind raced back to that arid day in Balamb. The one forever etched in both of their memories, picturing Rinoa sitting in the passenger seat of the Garden vehicle. That was the first day she mentioned children to him, or any sort of future commitment. That was the only day she ever mentioned children again. Rinoa learned her limits that day, there were lines drawn that even she wouldn't cross.

The fear that overtook him, at the mere notion of naming a child, was greater than the child itself. It was a fear of commitment…but most of all, a fear of true love. In his mind, at this moment, he heard her once again asking the question, "_Do you like Allison for a girl and Aaron for a boy?_" Four years and a lifetime since then, Squall Leonhart finally looked her in the eyes, answering the very question that terrified him almost five years ago.

"Rinoa, I like the name Allison for a girl."

The statement was so off-the-wall she managed a laugh, through her obvious worry. That was a way of hiding her true pain. Her immediate thought was telling him the truth about his daughter, yet something continued to hold her back. Hell, they had been as close as physically possible last night…but maybe that was it. 'Physically possible'…something mentally did not feel complete. The bond was there, not broken, _but damaged_.

Was it the lack of trust or her shattered spirit still torn between knight and family? A million possibilities flashed through her mind. Then it dawned on her, why must she still separate the two…knight or family? Two separate entities, not in union. Why were they not one? He gave himself on every level last night, but on the one she genuinely desired. **_Trust_**. He was still holding something back…and dammit, she knew it. _She knew him_.

Slowly her thoughts drifted back to him, as he stared deeply within her eyes. If she knew…did he know it too? If they were honestly one, there would be no secrets. Yet she could tell he was holding back, and for sanity alone…she would too. There would be a time to tell him…but not right now. Too much was left unsaid.

Plus, she was afraid. Afraid of his reaction, afraid of the truth.

"Ah…thank you?" she finally said confused, not relating the answer to her question four years ago in Balamb.

Suddenly the entire incident with Richard Bennett flashed in Squall's mind…the hostility toward him and the resentment of SeeD. The picture of Zell and Irvine helping the accused kidnapper, now it became crystal-clear. They found out who the child was. They were willing to risk their freedom and lives for the child.

They knew.

"Oh Hyne," he said rolling to his back shocked. "They have Allison."

Rinoa sat straight up, all look of contentment vanished at the thought.

"Who has Allison? Squall, what's wrong?"

Sitting up, his only intent was to comfort her distress, gently putting both his arms around her shoulders. Trying to pacify her fears, he explained, "When I went to Bennett's house he was extremely belligerent. The entire ordeal ended up with him landing face down on the floor. I had no idea why the man hated me so much. Now I understand. He also threatened the lives of other SeeDs that aided in the abduction. None of the pieces fit, then he handed me a surveillance photo. In it Zell was running with an unidentified woman, and Irvine holding a child…they stopped their capture in Dollet."

Gasping for air within her lungs, the thought of them being apprehended made her body tremble. He pulled her near. As their skin touched, Rinoa felt a comfort unlike any other. Resting her head on his bare chest, she listened to the rhythmic sound of his heartbeat. He in return, wrapped his arms around her, silently stroking her hair. His grip, tighter than normal, for a second he worried about her ability to breathe. It had been so long, this comfort so foreign. To him. To her.

He never wanted to let go.

Squall could feel her warm tears rolling down his chest, but did not care. Each one traced its own path, letting him know that he was alive.

"Zell and Irvine will protect her, right?" she asked through gasping breaths. Already knowing the answer, if her friends had gone into hiding with Alexandra. But for some reason, she needed to hear if from him. Friends? How long had it been since she considered them friends.

"Of coarse, Rin…they will hold no hard feelings for you against her. They have shown that, I trust them with my life…yours and Allison's."

"Wait…" she pulled herself away, again examining his expression. "You mean they still think I killed Ellone? You never told them the truth?"

He glanced away for an instant, embarrassed the admission slipped his mind during the turmoil. Only he, Seifer and Quistis knew the truth right now…and that might be a little hard to comprehend, given her current emotive state.

He ran his fingers through her silky brunette hair, smoothing back the clumps that glued to her face with tears.

Compassionately he explained, "Rinoa, I just found out myself. I guess…well, I wasn't thinking of anything, but finding you. I've never been one to share things with people, if it wasn't necessary at that moment. My only thought was _you_, now that we had a lead in Trabia. Never in a thousand seasons did I imagine finding you this quickly. Though, I can never express my gratitude in doing so."

Rinoa smiled weakly. "I understand," empathy in her voice. "So…how is everyone doing? I really would like to know."

He lay back down onto the bed, pulling her with him. Grabbing her hand, he intertwined their fingers. His other arm holding her tightly, each points of contact of their bodies a wondrous sensation.

Squall turned his head toward her, giving the slightest kiss on the forehead before starting, "Selphie and Irvine are doing well…although, neither really speaks to me unless they have to. I haven't been the easiest person to get along with for the last couple of years. Selphie tries to remain cheerful, at least on the outside. Inside I think she is as lost as the rest of us. Irvine is still a SeeD, but he will really never truly be one in his heart. Which I am grateful for, even if I don't say it. Originality is hard to come by military standards."

Snuggling closer into his chest, Rinoa gave his neck a small kiss. She knew the commander wasn't the easiest person to get along with, Hyne did she know. Rinoa could only imagine how he had reacted to the death of his sister…and to losing her. No matter the circumstances she left under. She should have been there along side him. That is where she was fucking supposed to be. For a minute she tensed in anger about the betrayal…how could her friend do that?

Sensing her behavioral change, he quickly continued, "Zell…well, honestly Zell has taken this situation almost as hard as me. He lost faith that day, though he won't admit it. He has been going through the motions, trying desperately to act like himself. But I know, those of us who conceal can tell when others are hiding behind masks."

Smiling up at him, Rinoa listened carefully as Squall recalled everything.

"Cid accepted a liaison role with the World Council, publicity and that sort of political crap. The kind of shit I hate, but he seems to handle it well. Edea moved back to the orphanage, remodeling. They don't have any children there…I don't think they ever will. Nevertheless, it's a hope. It keeps her going. She wasn't treaded too nicely after the incident, ex-sorceress or not…feelings of hatred run deep. So, she is alone most of the time, Cid is there on weekends…but I know it's not enough for her. Oh, by the way…I gave her Angelo."

Lifting her head, she looked at him, with a huge smile, "Really?" He nodded. "Squall…I just figured that Angelo was…well you know she was my dog. I figured after what had happened someone would have…"

He interrupted her statement, "Yeah, I did too. Selphie really wanted the dog, even when everyone thought that you were…well you know. But threats had been made, and I thought it my duty to protect Angelo, she was a part of you. The only part that remained. When Edea left from Garden after the memorial, she was willing to take Angelo to the orphanage…Rin your dog loves it there. All the fields to play in, the rabbits to chase, and the ocean… she loves the ocean."

Rinoa leaned in, giving him a quick kiss on the lips, which he generously returned.

"Squall, make you a deal. If we ever get out of this…we will take Allison to the orphanage. She has never seen the ocean, never felt sand between her toes… Squall she has never even seen a dog that wasn't in a book. We will take her, and then Edea will have a child there."

It was a dream, Squall knew that, but it was a dream they both could share. He smiled to her, no words were needed, his smile brighter than a million words. God, did he ever remember being this content? If so, the memories were repressed way beyond reclamation. Pulling her into him, they again started what they had last night. Something so foreign, yet so familiar. Each kiss with more urgency, with more passion.

"_Wark! Wark_!"

Both shocked out of actions, when a terrible commotion erupted outside. Squall sat up quickly, verbally cussing out the damn bird. The chocobo that had carried him to the ascetic cabin was now running around in circles. Flapping its feathers, demanding attention in nonverbal urgency. As the chocobo continued its proceedings, a sudden feeling of trepidation took over.

"Rinoa, get dressed. Quick."

She didn't answer him, jumping off the bed and starting to search for loose articles of clothes. He was doing the same. As Rinoa buttoned her pants she looked at him, eyes satiated with fear.

"What Squall…what's wrong?"

"I don't know yet. But that chocobo is trying to warn me of something…don't ask…please just don't ask."

With a curiosity at the bird's tantrum, the mystified woman walked over to the window, spying the yellow creature running in circles. It had worn a path from its previous travels. All of a sudden, it darted into the forest as if not wanting to be witnessed. Ample snow covered the ground, the previous day's storm made the road to the cabin only visible by the tree-lined path.

Her eyes widened as she observed her worst fear. "SeeD," she said aloud, then with more urgency, "Squall – hurry. _SeeD is here_."

* * *

God, how long had it been since she had such a peaceful night sleep? The bed was remarkably small for one person, let alone two. Nor was it comfortable by any means…yet she slept. Peacefully. He had actually stayed with her though the night. In reality, she wasn't expecting him there when she woke, but was glad for the surprise.

He, on the other hand, had not woken yet. When he slept, she could see the child within. All traces of evil or hostility gone, in their place the solitude and tranquility one could only find when not seeking it. Maybe this is where her search ended; maybe he was her chalice, her holy grail.

Her mind flashed to the orphanage…and between the two boys. Each alike, each different. What separated them and such a young age? What made her fall for Squall over Seifer? She could argue it to be Squall's personality, quiet, shy and dependent in his own way. A way he never understood, but Quistis did. He had not always been like that though…not when Ellone was around. In reality, back then, the two boys were extremely similar, especially in attitude.

Nevertheless, the day Ellone left, Squall changed. He became the one she wanted to help, that was her nature. The same thing that led her toward the life as instructor, lead her to Squall. But the day Ellone left…permanently…Squall changed again. It was more than the loss of a sister; it was the loss of life, both his and Ellone's.

This leaves Seifer. Always 'the other one' in her mind, and to all who grew up with them. She realized what drew her to Squall, would be the only reason they were apart. Squall didn't need a sister two years ago; he needed a lover…his soul mate. Quistis was neither. But Seifer… he needed her. Why had she been so blind from the start? Then again, five years ago they weren't meant to be together, each had to learn from their mistakes. It was supposed to be this way. That simple.

They needed to grow, they needed to mature…they needed each other.

A loud knock sounded on the door. Quistis tried to sit up, even though Seifer was half on top of her. The noise didn't seem to bother him…this guy could sleep through anything. After another attempt to sit up failed miserably, she finally announced for the person to come in. For a minute she pondered any recourse on her reputation…being married to the commander and all. Then she decided…she didn't care any more.

Lauren opened the door, visibly surprised to see Quistis sleeping with another man. Fully clothed. But Quistis had told her the full story last night. Outlandish to think her instructor, more importantly the commander's wife lay in bed with 'the Seifer Almasy'. His reputation at Garden was less than flattering, if not down right hated. Yet still, he didn't seem like an evil tyrant bent on worldwide domination, well…at least in her opinion.

"Hey Quistis, the press conference is an hour. I hadn't seen you, so thought I would check if you all right… I see that you are fine now," she laughed slightly as the woman in bed slightly blushed in embarrassment. "Really, it's okay. I'm not going to tell anyone…who would believe me anyhow? Oh, more SeeD members arrived today to look for Bennett's wife…um the sorceress and Squall. Still nobody has made a connection that I can figure."

"Lauren, her name is Rinoa. I know it's strange to say after all that has happened. But it's just Rinoa. I promise you, the commander will no longer yell at you if you say that name."

"Thanks Quistis," she replied with a smile. "It's just so strange. Everything. Really though, you don't know what an honor it is that you trusted me. I promise to help the four of you, the best way I can. It's my duty as SeeD, more importantly, as a friend."

Quistis tried getting up again. "Hey Lauren, as a friend, do you have any idea how to wake him up?"

* * *

The knock came…they knew it would. Squall motioned for Rinoa to hide behind the door, same fashion as last night. There was only one SeeD, which was a consolation. He would do his best not to harm him, but if it came down to it, he would protector her at any cost. What he did not realize, nor could he. The irony that they were not searching for her, but for him. SeeD was on a hunt…for their commander.

Slowly he opened the door.

The SeeD looked a little upset to see him, almost the tiniest bit of fear. Squall remained calm, letting his leadership instincts take hold.

"It's about time soldier," Squall spat out at the man. Who was more than a little baffled.

"Sir…it's about time?"

"Yes, I sent that distress call over twelve hours ago. I would think that Trabia Garden would be capable of a simple rescue and recovery operation."

The SeeD remained calm; playing along with the commander's little game.

"Oh…oh right. We had some trouble triangulating the location during the storm, but I was sent when the storm let up."

"Fine, just let me get my coat."

The commander walked to his jacket and then turned back to the SeeD.

"Oh can you get my radio over there?"

The junior saluted and started to the table…he never felt the metal pan hit his head, rendering him unconscious. Squall bent down to him, checking his pulse.

"He'll be fine. Come on."

He grabbed Rinoa's hand and headed for the door, toward the waiting Garden vehicle.

Each knew one thing. There was no going back for Squall now. He had made his decision.

_Rinoa._

* * *

Reporters from every corner of the globe circled like vultures in the sky. Each wanted to ask Mrs. Leonhart questions about her husband's disappearance. She and Lauren walked through the locust, pushing a path leading to the platform. Damn them. Damn all of them. Never had she been so harassed by a group, never had she felt such hatred toward people. The press made Squall the villain. Hell, he was already convicted without a trial.

She wondered how people could change their opinions so quickly, without a second thought. One minute he was the savior of the world, next a cold-blooded murderer. There was no gray, only black and white. Quistis wished Seifer could have been with her, but hell, they would have picked him out quickly. He would already would have been imprisoned by now. Then it hit her, she was the only one of them left who could walk down the street. Rinoa, Squall, and Seifer…their lives, their freedoms were over.

Would time forget and forgive?

Lauren kept most of the jackals at bay, at least the ones she could. Several other SeeD members were present, helping the escort. After what seemed the short eternity they arrived at the platform. She took her seat along side President Mitchell of Galbadia. He looked to her with a smirk, murmuring his apologizes about her husband…reassuring her that they were not holding her responsible.

Seifer watched from a snow-covered alleyway. Things had come full circle. Two years ago this week he watched as Squall Leonhart announced the hunt for the sorceress…and now he was watching Quistis Leonhart announce the hunt for Squall. Irony…the fucking irony. Neither guilty, but neither free. He watched her eyes in fear, how he wished that he were standing beside her for support. The bastard from Galbadia was talking to her; he could sense her uneasiness from even this far away. That man was the devil, disguised as a savior to many. Seifer knew.

Quistis sat as officials made the artificial allegations. Every fucking one of them, a lie. Still, she didn't waiver. They needed her… Rinoa, Squall, and even Seifer. Their future depending on her actions. How she handled herself among the snakes. She sat reading the documents that had been presented, feigning being lost in thought. Trying to think of something plausible to say during her speech. She was to relay the current situation of SeeD. Their duties and where loyalties lay, against the commander.

Suddenly fear shrouded her. Quistis could feel his heartless eyes staring at her. She looked over to President Mitchell to counter his actions. She would not be weak this time. His eyes narrowed in a glare…for a brief second she couldn't comprehend the change.

At that instant, they announced for President Jefferson Mitchell to take the podium, to the delight of many supporters. Again, his popularity was growing. The leader of the famed World Council had ventured to their humble town, to help with the tragic loss of their own delegate. He looked at Quistis reaching his hand down to her thigh. And then leaned in whispering the most horrifying word imaginable.

"_Think._"

She felt a sudden urgency, as fury began to rise. She had heard that word before; she had heard that threat before. Right before the school bus bombing…the only thing making her keep the secret. The one that was drowning her.

President Mitchell turned to her while taking his place among the microphones. A smile with evil and greed. In that moment, she knew whom they were dealing with.

That bastard knew of Rinoa…and that bastard framed Squall.

Nobody was safe.


	5. Collide, Vantage, Struggle, and Hostility

**Chapter Nineteen: Collide **

She loathed this, but at the same time, it was the most unparalleled bliss in the world. Rinoa knew that Squall had made his decision; they would now be fugitives…_together_. His life at Garden was finished, years of training since childhood…now a distant memory. Everything he ever was, no longer mattered. He was like her; he was a criminal.

They reached the vehicle, and thankfully, the SeeD left the keys in the ignition. Trabia was possibly the most disorganized group known to man, even worse than the 'Forest Owls' on a proportional scale. Quickly both entered the cab, and Squall immediately started the engine.

Silent tears fell from her face, as she watched him prepare to leave. Everything about him still fascinated her, the way his gloved hands gripped the steering wheel. Fingers that could be so dominating, yet so gentle. She knew both sides, something she faithfully believed that was an honor only bestowed upon her. The way he systematical checked and adjusted the mirrors, even in the immense hurry, he still followed safety protocol to a certain degree. The way her knight ran his fingers through his hair, some things never changed. Finally, she noticed how his eyes would glance toward her, always making sure that she was still there. Whether he looked in the side or rear view mirrors, or actually had the courage to check from peripheral vision, he needed visual confirmation. But done in a way that he didn't want her to notice. He needed her, needed to know she was still there.

Not a fantasy. _Real_.

Letting out a deep breath, he put the car into gear, driving away from the wooded bungalow. She turned once more to watch the silhouette of the cabin disappear behind groves of trees. For three days, it was home, and for one wonderful night, _it was heaven_. Somehow the emptiness of the barren land no longer mattered, her knight returned, and with that color to the landscape.

"Squall?" she asked hesitantly.

He desperately wanted to look at her angelic face, but the ice-covered pavement required all his attention. The hills and mountains made the roads treacherous terrain; one could easily go careening down a ravine, and not be discovered until the summer thaw. So, he continued surveying the road, giving nonverbal acknowledgement.

"Squall I…I don't understand. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful…but everything you ever had, everything you ever wanted out of life…it is gone. You just lost it with one action. Squall…you betrayed SeeD."

"Rinoa, you still don't understand. Stop thinking about everything I lost…only think about everything I gained. You. Two years ago, I lost you, and only SeeD remained. It was the only life I knew before, but after you…it was insignificant. Commander of SeeD is the title I had, knight was the title I wanted…the one I cherished."

This time he dared to look at her, slightly turning his head, meeting the gaze of her rich brown eyes. Smiling lovingly back, she mouthed the same words spoken last night. "_Thank you."_

For moments, they were silent…neither speaking only trying to figure out the enormity of the situation. And for a brief moment, they spent in the tranquility of just being there. Together. However, the gods of fate never smiled upon them for very long, because at that moment the radio went off.

"_Trabia Garden to vehicle 427, please acknowledge your current location_."

Squall checked the corresponding identification number etched on the metal plate. Shit, which was undeniably…_them_. How ironic this situation mirrored the Ragnarok five years ago. Drifting out in the endless void of space, their only connection to civilization the communication radio and the bastards at the other end. They wanted her back then for her powers…powers eventually manipulated against her. Without guilt, without remorse. Now there would be no _sealing_, only death without trial. Fuck them.

Reaching for the radio, he prepared to respond. However, they would ask his SeeD identification number, which would certainly give them away… He quickly handed the communicator over to Rinoa.

"Rinoa, repeat after me…_word for word_. Do not add anything." She nodded in understanding as he continued, "ST-0303-BLM current location 40' longitude, by 65' latitude."

She repeated it letter for letter, word for word.

"_Selphie Tilmitt, __Balamb __Garden_" the static voice from the other end rejoined.

Squall nodded once again, mouthing, "_Affirmative_."

"Affirmative," she spoke with certainty.

"_Damn it,_" the voice came back. "_Sorry about that __Miss.__ Tilmitt, we just have the wrong paper work…again. Continue on your search_."

"Roger," she said pressing the button. Squall's eyes grew wide at her single word. He bit his lip slightly shaking his head, trying to concentrate on the road ahead.

"_Excuse me?_" the voice questioned back.

Rinoa thought that's how she was supposed to respond. Now she realized, by Squall's demeanor alone, it wasn't.

"Sorry, I just thought that was you…Roger. It's been so long." She cursed herself for not shutting up, as with each second that went by, they would only grow more suspicious from her rambling.

"_Oh no, Miss Tilmitt…Roger is off today, but I'll let him know that you asked._"

Rinoa said nothing else, quickly setting the mechanism back into the cradle. Turning her head toward Squall, she tilted her head slightly as was her trademark. She smiled apologetically knowing he couldn't see her, but he knew her actions.

"You still don't like to listen to me, do you?" he asked with a playfulness only she could decipher from anger. "We just better be thankful there was a 'Roger' in the communication department."

"Er…sorry. I thought that…" she quieted down, not wanting to pursue the subject any further. "Hey, why did they think I was Selphie anyhow?"

"It's the only other student number I know. Two years ago, we assigned new numbers…hers stuck in my mind. ST, for Selphie Tilmitt and BLM, given to all the SeeDs attending Balamb Garden…but the 0303…it's your birthday, March 3. So, I remembered it. I could never forget that date."

Looking out the window, a small laugh escaped her lips. She couldn't help the smile from once again forming. Reaching her hand over tentatively, she placed it on his upper thigh. Slowly she caressed the fabric of his uniform, feeling every muscle in his leg and the way his body tensed at her touch. The contact sending electricity through both of them. It was a sensation that made Squall realize he was alive, more importantly that he was with the only person he ever loved.

His sorceress, his love, his life…Rinoa Heartilly.

* * *

Innocent. They were innocent. Children no more than ten years of age, and the driver who's responsibility it was to care for their safety. One bomb. One explosion. One moment. Taking away all their dreams and their very heartbeats. One man so cowardly he blamed and executed a homeless man, again another needless death. However, to President Jefferson Mitchell life was nothing, people were nothing - all dispensable, all pawns in _his game_. The only problem was, nobody knew of the game but Quistis, and the rules were all but nonexistent.

This would be the deciding point in her life…to turn and run, to hide amid Garden as she had before. Or to stand and face the enemy, relying on her strength and that of those around. Amazingly, she stood with Seifer and Squall two unlikely allies, but the best two associates one could possibly hope for. This was _their_ time. She might have not had the courage alone, but together…she did.

This time she would not go quietly into the night, she would be the shadow that followed Mitchell…always there, always waiting.

Crowds of citizens and reporters alike cheered him as he gave what sounded more like an election campaign than a news conference. Someday they would know the pain he had caused. Someday…and she would be there when he fell, with nobody to catch him. And that someday would be soon.

Gazing over into the alley, she saw Seifer standing in his SeeD uniform. How things would have turned out different had he passed his exam, had _he_ been there that day with Ellone and not her. For a second she found her self caught up in a dream, one that could never be…them on a mission together, or even walking around Garden together. Nothing special, maybe just as simple as being in the cafeteria as he ate salty fries and she picked at her salad. Simple things. Things that no matter how much wished for, could never be. Their fate was decided a long time ago. Yet, he still gave her strength in just being there. The man was risking his freedom for her and she knew it. Moreover, she loved him for it.

Entranced in her thoughts, Quistis finally felt a tap on her shoulder. Turning around, she saw Lauren with a confused look, motioning for her to follow. Her turn at the podium would be up soon, but if Lauren was pulling her off the stage in front of hundreds…there was a damn good reason. Quietly getting up, she walked down the back stairs as the younger SeeD pulled her behind the curtain.

Speaking as softly as possible Lauren reported, "I was just over at the communication post checking the progress on the search for Commander Leonhart. One of the vehicles searching the Trabian woods radioed back with Selphie's identification number. The operators thought they had the wrong staff paperwork. Even asked me if I knew Selphie… I told them _yes_, I believed she had come up here with the latest group of SeeDs. I left and used a direct link to Balamb… I was right, Selphie was still there."

That was it….it was the little piece of hope Quistis wished. First, she knew that it was Squall trying to relay a message and still conceal their identity. Second, if it was a female voice…it was Rinoa. Goddamned she was really alive…_and with Squall_. The feelings before she left the stage, still weighed heavily on her mind. Yet now, their small group of three turned into four. In addition, one of them was a sorceress. That could make all the difference. Thank Hyne.

"Oh," the junior SeeD continued, "you're not going to believe this. Selphie said she'd been in contact with Irvine and Zell… they're now on the run with Richard Bennett's assistant Alexandra Williams and staying in Dollet. Allison Bennett is with them… Renee's…um…Rinoa's daughter. The child is doing fine, but now they are wanted by the authorities also."

"Damnit," Quistis spat. "You would think I'd have been notified about something like that. I think the council wants me to stay in the dark… Okay here is what we are going to do. Go to the communication room, and tell them it's _an order _to broadcast my speech. Make something up if you have to…about letting SeeDs know that all Gardens are united on this search and we're SeeD first and friends second…or some other crap like that. Just make it believable and tell them _it must be broadcast_. Use whatever means possible."

Taking a quick glance around the bustling scene the instructor continued, "Then go find Seifer…just call for _Nicolas _or something. He saw me leave from the stage, so there is a good chance he'll find you. Tell him to get on our vessel directly, and then have Captain ready to depart _immediately_. You go back to Balamb Garden and work with Selphie…I can't drag you in any further…too many lives are already at stake."

Saluting the older SeeD, Lauren started to leave until Quistis called out. Quickly she walked up to her softly adding, "Lauren, I can never thank you enough. We all owe you so much. Whatever happens, whatever people say about Squall and Rinoa…don't believe it. They were just two people who truly loved each other. Please remember them that way. Also, if you hear anything about Seifer and me, just remember the truth. We were two people lost in our dreams, but finally realized our mistakes. I don't care what others say…just promise me you will remember us that way. Promise."

The younger girl noticed the tears in her leader's eyes, and the sincerity that lay behind them. Holding back her own tears she answered, "I promise." Quistis hugged the girl and headed back toward the stage. As she walked up the stairs Lauren noticed her crumple up the planned speech, tossing it in a near by wastebasket. For some reason, the younger SeeD felt as if Quistis just said goodbye. Not just for today, but forever.

Returning to the row of folding chairs, Quistis sat as the cold metal chilled her to the bone. She tried to warm her hands on the heaters set up around the stage, each a futile attempt compared to the bitter temperatures. Finally, the last reporter asked Mitchell a question and he answered in a double-talking way only a politician could. It sounded good, but in reality, he said nothing. _Typical_.

Feeling the eyes of hell upon her, Quistis looked at the man as he sat down beside her. Reaching his hand over, he lay it tenderly on Quistis' leg, never breaking eye contact.

"Hope you had some time _to think_ dear Mrs. Leonhart. I know how much you pray for your husband's safe return…must get lonely in bed without him warming you. Now that he is searching for his little bitch again, guess that means you're free."

Pushing his hand off her thigh, she narrowed her eyes at him. This man truthfully was the most hideous, disgusting creature on earth. She wanted to tell him off; she wanted to take her weapon to him without mercy. Nevertheless, in the end, the President would get his…and she would be there…_smiling_. She just shook her head, not wasting her breath. Grabbing her folder, Quistis took her place at the podium staring out into the unforgiving masses.

* * *

It seemed an eternity, but in actuality, it had only been thirty minutes or so. They were within a twenty-minute drive back to the outskirts of Trabia. Rinoa had somehow managed to move closer to Squall during the trip, but still not as close as she would have liked. His concentration was needed on driving and not on her. Yes…some things never changed. Still her hand remained on his thigh. She refused to give up complete contact. It gave her strength; it gave her hope.

By nightfall, they would be on the cargo ship hiding among the boxes, such as she had done two years ago. Most of all, by tomorrow morning, they would reach Dollet…_and Allison_. For a moment, she felt queasiness in her stomach. In the morning, Squall would meet his daughter…_Squall Leonhart's daughter_. Gods that felt good to think freely. She had to tell him. Now was not the appropriate time with his concentration needed on the road, but she was afraid of waiting any longer. The more she contemplated it, the more something was holding her back. Yet, he proved himself and his commitment. Although, deep down…she still denied his entire honesty. It felt as if something was holding him back also.

"Squall," she spoke with a wavering unmatched by anything previously. "I have something to tell…"

"_This is __Trabian __Garden__ base command. We are patching all SeeD communication into network feeds. You will be listening to the news conference currently in progress in downtown Trabia with Deling President and World Council Leader Jefferson Mitchell of Galbadia. We have been directed that all SeeDs must listen to the broadcast._"

"Hang on Rinoa," he stated simply, pulling the vehicle to the side of the road. "This is unprecedented, never has anything been broadcast on this frequency."

She sighed, nervously shaking out the courage that had been building up. As they pulled over, Rinoa looked at him, as he returned the gaze. Drawing her into a quick kiss, he touched the side of her face with his leather gloves, now regretting the departure from her tender lips.

"Promise Rinoa, when this is over you have my undivided attention."

She could only nod in agreement, leaning on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her waist.

* * *

Quistis glanced nervously around. Finally, she saw Lauren appear on the opposite side of the stage nodding. This was it. This was their stand, whether Mitchell knew it or not, this is where she turned the tides of fate upon him.

"_My fellow SeeDs we are coming together to unite. No longer should we be making the differentiation between our Gardens. Today we stand as one. Balamb is understandably concerned about the accusations and disappearance of Commander Leonhart. We would all ask that our leader turn himself into authorities for questioning on the murder of Richard Bennett._"

Neither of them could move…each in shock at the statement. Squall removed his arm and turned up the radio, praying he had heard the broadcast wrong. Well at least the part of _the accused_. Rinoa was in shock that Richard was dead; moreover, that Squall was charged…

"Squall?" she questioned.

Looking in her eyes, he shook his head in denial. She could see the perplexity within his stare, and the hurt in his eyes. She took his right hand in hers. He squeezed it back in mutual understanding and support.

Quistis' voice continued to echo throughout the vehicle, "_We are all friends and comrades, but above all we are SeeDs, and will stand by our principles. I want each of you to reflect upon the day you became SeeD, the day you went on your exam mission. In that experience alone, you earned your rank among us. Now I ask that you all return to that day, and draw from your feelings of why you joined SeeD._"

Turning to Rinoa, he brought her hand to his chest. "That's it. It's a code." He actually laughed at the simplicity in the message. "Quistis is giving us a code…Rinoa, she knows. We are to return to the Dollet Communication Tower…where I took my SeeD exam."

Still in shock, Rinoa moved her head in agreement, as the words didn't truly register in her mind.

"_…again it is important that everyone one of your parents knows their daughters or sons are safe. We will not go blindly into this mission_…"

His eyes still focused on Rinoa, "There…she is saying that Allison is protected. Parents knowing that their daughters are safe."

* * *

"Again, Balamb Garden is working with full cooperation with local and state authorities in the investigation. Richard Bennett was a valuable member of this community and the World Council. His murder will not be taken lightly. Last night a vile crime was committed as he was murdered within his own home, only a day after his wife passed away. His abducted daughter is still a number one priority with SeeD; we have our best operatives on the case now. However, the murder investigation will not subside until the one responsible is caught. I want whoever that person may be… I want _him_ to _think _about what he has done. I guarantee you right now…_he_ will be brought to justice. _And SeeD will be there_."

She ended her conference with a smile. Looking over in the crowd, she noticed Seifer and Lauren standing together leading the applause. They knew what she had just done. She was now in the game with President Mitchell. In a moment of defiance, she turned back toward the man sitting there, with a look of pure evil on his features. With a smile, the instructor saluted the man, with the formal SeeD salutation. It was not a threat; it was a promise, directed solely at him. He knew that.

Quistis looked at him, mouthing the word that had so often haunted her dreams. "_Think_."

The crowd noise grew quiet from the applause, mainly led by the SeeDs present as the reporters clamored to ask her questions about the incident.

* * *

Rinoa sat in horror. First, the realization that Richard Bennett was dead…second, the fact she felt no remorse. Two years with the bastard…and not one single emotion of compassion surfaced. There had been many nights she wished for this…hell, she even mentally planned it, but never could she act out on her abhorrence. That was not her nature, for murder was not in her.

Unless he hurt Allison.

Then she could have killed the bastard, without a second's hesitation. It was remarkable how she could let herself suffer by his hands, Hyne knows she had…every bruise, every scar, a diagram of her life the last two years. Each represented the private hell she was forced into. But if he touched Allison…no force would be greater than her wrath. Now he was dead…and she didn't care.

Ironically, she was more distraught upon hearing the voice that was _giving_ the news. Quistis. Never could she think that one her friends would betray her. They always had their differences where Squall was concerned…but still she would have trusted her life to the instructor. Hindsight is twenty-twenty. Each syllable the instructor spoke dug deeper within her heart. Each word represented time lost with Squall and Squall with his daughter. The mental pain Richard caused failed in comparison to anything that Quistis had done. To be deceived by a friend is worse than to be betrayed by an enemy.

She only could stare off into the distant forest, trying not to let Squall see the anger covering her features.

But then, it happened.

Squall was still in shock of news. He was now wanted for murder…the murder of Rinoa's forged husband. Had he thought for a moment, had he even surmised the next logical step. Had his thinking been on the obvious and not lost within the recesses of his mind…he would have known. Hell, he _should_ have known…what the communication radio would say next. The words forever haunting him as so many already had…

A reporter innocently asked, "_Quistis Leonhart, how do you feel about your husband being accused of murder_?"

And then time stopped.

No words could sting more. No words could cause so much pain. Not even in Deling during the original press conference was she so injured. The words kept repeating in her mind, like a record skipping on a player. Never going forward, never going back, only remaining in the same eternal rut.

He closed his eyes. Looking at her now would be something his heart couldn't take. The look of anguish on her face would be etched in his forever, another of his betrayals causing pain. There were no expressions able to describe his feelings toward her. Life stopped two years ago, his very breaths only counting down until the time he moved into the afterlife. For no life without her was complete and death would end his perpetual torment. But in less then a day's time, he had found his salvation, only to have it slip through his fingers again. The torment thrust upon him since birth. How much more torment could Rinoa take before she broke? He was the one going to break her - in spirit and life.

He inhaled as a tear slid down his battered face, he tried to choke out an explanation, "Rinoa, I..."

However, it didn't matter.

She was already gone.

Turning as the truck door slammed, the vibration reverberating through his mind. He did it. Once again, he fucked up. His life story…the only story he could ever tell. One that was not meant to be happy, one that was meant to bring pain and suffering to all those it touched. Such as it did his mother, such as it did Ellone, and such as it did Rinoa.

In that moment, his heart called for her, but his voice could not. A battle took place in his mind…remembering the loneliness of time-compression, the barren wasteland that represented his life. She found him once…now he would do it for her. It was a favor that he wanted to return, _had_ to return. Twenty-two years he spent upon this earth in pain, he would not spend another twenty-two. If she were gone this time…he would be too.

He loved her. He needed her.

And she needed him. Given time she would forgive him, Hyne, she always did. That was her…she was the strong one. No not physically, but strength runs so much deeper than that. It's something unknown, something from within…and he would return her strength, which lay in her trust.

Never bothering to remove the keys from the ignition, he opened his door and ran into the forest following the fresh footprints carved in the winter's snow.

They would get through this. They had to.

* * *

* * *

**Chapter Twenty: Vantage **

She ran.

For two years that is all she ever did…now, reliving every painful moment. Rinoa ran into the forest, into the brush. Limbs scratched her face, leaving reddened and bloody streaks like claw marks from an enraged cat. The pain would have registered, had she not been numb inside. So she ran. She was good at that.

The newly fallen snow was loose on the mountains side. A large section started a minor avalanche. Her tired legs gave way as she tumbled with the snow, landing on the trunk of a fallen tree. Rinoa hit the tree with great force, momentary causing her to lose focus on her surroundings. The tears did not come this time, her state of mind was beyond that.

The cold snow only numbed her exposed skin more, as she gasped to fill her lungs with the piercing air. The sound did not register, but the feeling did. Before she could run any further, she was restrained from behind. Arms encircling her in a prison from which she could not escape…

"Dammit, Rinoa…you're not leaving me again."

She was released slightly from her confides, as he spun her around so they were face to face. His arms still locked tight around her, but now he could see the hurt in her eyes. It killed him.

"Be strong," he whispered aloud. It was not meant for her to hear, but only to serve as a reminder to himself. For once in their relationship, he would be the stronger one…both physically and mentally.

"Rinoa, I should have told you. But…so much…you had been through so much. I just wanted to give you time. It never meant anything…damn you for doing the one thing nobody else ever could. Rinoa, I love you."

In those words, her head stopped spinning. Maybe it didn't help pull her out of the water, but it was a life preserver. Not even last night had he directly said those words. Very rarely before she left did he say them…hell should count the times on both hands. Three years they were together, but each time those words said, etched into her mind like yesterday. The anger was not gone, but somehow was manageable to her.

"_Quistis Leonhart_," she stammered. "How, how could you…she…knew about Ellone. She won didn't she? She won."

"No Rinoa," his voice grew louder in anger. "Nobody won." Her legs gave out and she fell to the ground, Squall gave in to gravity, never letting his grip on her loosen. They sat buried deep in snow, but the cold did not register…only the pain.

"Rinoa, nobody won. We were all miserable…I died the day you left and I'm not going through it again. Hell or high water, I will be here. I promise."

"Promise," she malevolently laughed. The laugh that had exhibited itself yesterday when her sorceress side had taken over at the sheer _idea_ of him married. Squall noticed as her eyes started to slightly glaze; this time he recognized the signs, he even was waiting for them. Now, the knight just hoped that he could stop the anger from manifesting.

"Rinoa, stop it. Listen to me…_I love you_. Don't let it take over. Yesterday you couldn't help it, today you can. I'm here; I'm not leaving you. No matter what, I'm going to be your knight. I broke your spirit…but together we can stop this. Try Rinoa, don't let it take over. You don't have to forgive me now…just hold to what we can have together…hold on to our love."

She could feel the battle within her soul, to let the darker part of herself take control. But that was the difference…she could _feel_ it. For the first time, she was able to isolate it, aware of what was happening. Even though it lay battered, her spirit was still with her. Because he was there, the knight protected her spirit. This time, he was doing his job.

Squall watched as all traces of sorceress powers once again became dormant within her. Now, the only thing that remained on her face was the pain he caused. It was a small victory, even he realized that. He was capable of driving back the darker power, which only meant one thing…she still believed in him. And that made all the difference.

"Squall, why? Why Quistis?" her shaking voice asked.

"Rinoa, remember I had to keep on searching for you. The council wanted to take my command away, sighting that I was ineffective and too personally involved. I needed to find someone to marry me…I knew how she felt. Damn it, she honestly was the easiest person around. It wasn't fair to either of you. I know you don't want to hear it right now…but she feels horrible about what happened, it haunts her to this very day. I know she is sorry."

She freed her right hand, reaching up and slapping him with all the force she could gather. He felt the sting of her palm, as it met with his chapped flesh. Moreover, he _heard _the chilling sound. Grabbing her arms tighter, regaining his control, he brought her close to his chest as he could hear, and feel, her tearless sobs.

"I told you," she gasped. "Don't ever tell me you're sorry. _Not you, not her_. I will not take that from either of you, especially after the lies. Just let me go…just let me go…please. I can't take this anymore. I can't be with you anymore…Squall the pain, it's always here. It always has been. From the beginning, I was just a burden to you. Don't stay with me out of duty. All I ask of you is to let me go, this is _my choice_; this is _my life_. As of this moment you don't have to be my knight…you are no longer obligated to me. I release you from duty, and will suffer any consequences on my own. Just let me go. If you truly love me…you will just let me go."

Feeling her hot breath on his chest, made the next move the hardest thing he would ever do…_he let her go_. His arms withdraw from her, aching once again to feel her warmth. But he had hurt her deeply, and this was going to be her decision…like to be with him last night. Like when she had made him her knight. He prayed to Hyne that he was doing the right thing. Reaching into his pocket, he grabbed the platinum Griever ring. With shaking hands, Squall hung it on a small branch off a fallen limb.

Sitting in the drifting snow, she watched in horror as he moved away from her. He actually _let her go_; she didn't expect it. Damn, it was something she said out of hurt…not for him to act upon. His gloved hands reached into his coat pocket, she stiffened at the sight of the band. What the hell was he doing? Then her eyes lay transfixed as it gently swayed back in forth on the branch.

He closed his eyes, gathering his strength.

"Rinoa Heartilly…I will _always_ be your knight. I can't excuse my transgressions, nor would I ever ask forgiveness from you. The only thing that I can offer you is my love…it's the only thing that I have left to give you. If you want to go, let it be your choice. My choice is to go through this together…together you, me, and Allison. I cannot promise you a happy ending; I cannot promise either of us won't get hurt. I can only promise you to do my best…and I'll die trying. If you ever, _ever_ think you can forgive me…maybe not soon…but _ever_ let's go to Dollet together. The only things I can give you, that I still have left, is my hope and my love. If you want this to be goodbye…I understand. Leave the ring here. I never want to see it again. If this is goodbye…_then_…" his voice chocked, as he could no longer speak.

He stood up and started walking up the mountainside, afraid of looking back. When he reached the top, he did the hardest thing in his life. He turned around, memorizing her form fallen in the snow. Once his angel, now just a lost soul. He didn't know if what he was doing was right, it sure felt like hell. However, if this was going to work, it would be her choice. She was the one who suffered by his hand.

"Goodbye," he whispered to himself. "I'll always love you."

* * *

Somehow, her walk turned into more of a desperate run. Not particularly easy on the snow covered streets. But more than anything, Quistis Trepe wanted away from this place, away from all the reporters, and mostly away from President Mitchell. The harbor docks were relatively close to the conference area, and for that, she was thankful. Many citizens stopped and stared and she jogged passed, never changing expression.

She only focused on one objective right now…_to get the hell out of Trabia_. All else could work itself out. This place resembled a grave, one she felt they were trying to bury her alive within. She was still clawing at the dirt, trying to surface for air. As she saw the boat, and the man standing on the bow, she metaphorically broke through the earth… The dirt that filled her lungs was subsiding, now she was breathing fresh oxygen.

Not actually sure how it happened, like one of those old movies that played in black and white. Seifer left the boat and met her dockside. When she reached him, both opened their arms as she jumped to his body. He spun her around, an event that played like slow motion cinema in her mind. Even she realized how corny this must look to bystanders, like a dime store romance novel. But hell, she didn't care. It was a wonderful sensation to have anyone there for her, moreover, anyone who was that _thrilled_ to see her. Seifer set her down to the snow-covered docks, but never breaking or removing his arms from the embrace.

"You did it," he replied with a grin, leaning his forward against hers, so their faces were only centimeters apart. "I'm so proud. It took real courage to stand up to that bastard. Good going instructor."

She leaned up kissing him softly on the lips. After breaking apart Quistis teasingly answered, "You keep forgetting that I'm _not_ an instructor anymore."

"Well, seems to me you can still _teach me_ a few things, Ms. Trepe," he slyly answered with a trademark smirk.

Shaking her head and rolling her eyes at the smugness, the '_instructor_' grabbed his hand leading him up the gangplank. They untied the boat restraints and within minutes, they were setting sail toward the Dollet Dukedom. Her blonde hair flowed in the sea breeze. Seifer walked over offering his arm, and then lead them downstairs to his stateroom.

He opened the door and to her surprise, he had a normal size bed, even with a small couch.

"Hey Seifer," she said imitating anger. "How in the world did you get this room and the rest of us got cabins with quad bunks? Why in the world did we not sleep in here last night? Then maybe my neck wouldn't be so stiff."

Tipping his head to the side, trying his best to play the roll of the innocent, he answered her with a pathetic tone. "Sorry…instructor. I won it in a bet with Commander Puberty, but hey, figured he would prefer hanging from the ceiling in a cave like the rest of his kind."

"Seifer…that's not very nice," she tried to say without laughing.

Walking over to the bed, she took her wet coat off, tossing it to the ground. "You know, I think you genuinely like Squall or you wouldn't be here. Why is it so hard for you two boys to get along?"

"Hyne Quistis…since when has anyone called us _boys_? I'm twenty-three you know. Those '_boy_' days are long gone. But yeah, the guy rather grows on you in his own annoying way…like moss on a stone, but sill grows. Don't ever tell him that I said that, or I will strongly deny it."

Taking off his trench coat, he tossed it to the floor on top of her SeeD jacket. She watched as it landed with a _thud_; she was sure the thing could stand up and walk on its own.

"Seifer, you really should get a new coat. I think that one needs a proper burial in the Garden incinerator. When was the last time you washed that thing anyhow?"

"Why instructor, I'm hurt. As far as washing it goes…it hasn't had an 'official' wash since I was at Balamb Garden. You know how those rumors get started there… Last time in the laundry room I was accused of…ah…never mind. After I left, being a fugitive with a 'clean coat' wasn't a top priority. Anyway it's the only thing I have left of…" his facial expressions changed. He stood up and started to the window, his demeanor was completely different from the smugness of earlier. "Never mind it's not important. So the speech went well, I think."

Getting off the bed, she reached carefully for him, gently placing her hand on his shoulder. "Seifer…please talk to me. If this is going to work out, I don't want there to be any secrets between us. I tried that once…trust me, _it doesn't work_. I want you to feel like you can tell me anything. Please trust in me."

Nodding in agreement, he reached down grabbing the delicate hand and leading her to the small loveseat.

Almost ashamed of his reluctance he started, "I'm sure you don't want to hear this…but it was a gift from Rinoa. She bought it for me in August the year we went out; it was a present for my first attempt at the SeeD exam. She actually thought I was going to make it, even know she was clueless about what SeeD was at the time. It didn't matter to her. She still had faith in me. Maybe that's why I kept it. I mean Rajin and Fujin always had faith, but Rinoa was the only outsider to believe I could make something out of my pathetic life. I loved her for that, if nothing else."

"I'll make you a deal," she spoke softly standing up and then sitting in his lap. Something the woman was positive she'd never done before, as it was the kind of intimacy she only dreamed. He leaned back in the soft cushions encircling both arms around her, enjoying closeness he'd never experienced either. "When we get out of this mess, I will personally take it to a dry cleaner for you. My treat."

"You're to kind to me," he said playfully as she rested her head upon his shoulder. "Throw in a couple pairs of pants and a sweater, then you got yourself a deal."

"No way…you'll have to pay for the rest of your laundry buddy. Remember I'll be a divorced unemployed ex-instructor then, so I'll have to watch my budget." She paused looking deep into his eyes. "Seriously Seifer, I don't care where you got it. I'm glad someone believed in you back then, even if it was Rinoa. She saw something in you that we…_I_ managed to miss or decided to ignore. I'm grateful for that just wish I'd been there for you then…like I should have been."

"Quistis, you realize this is going to get difficult from here on out. If they got the message, and trust me I know the _Knight of Puberty Boys_, he got the message. You're going to have to face her soon. Are you ready for that?"

"No," she answered bluntly. "I don't think anybody could be ready given the circumstances. But it's something I have to do…it's the next step toward redemption. Glad that I'm not alone anymore, this would be so much harder alone. I honestly don't think I would make it."

He kissed the top of her head. "You would Quistis. You under estimate yourself a lot, you're a very special person… Oh, Hyne now I'm sounding like you. See what you've done to me. I care now…this just sucks."

"Yeah it does…I know."

Both sat in silence listening to the hum of the engine and the sensation of the gentle rocking of the boat. Events of the last few days repeated in her mind, one thing he mentioned seemed to stand out above all others. She disliked broaching the subject again, but if she was to face Rinoa tomorrow, Quistis wanted to be as mentally prepared as possible. Then again, she was facing the impossible.

"Hey, yesterday you mentioned something about theories on Allison Bennett and her abduction…what did you mean?"

"Wow…hoping that one would slip by you. I just have overall doubts on the whole _baby thing_. Not really the abduction issue. Maybe it's my cynical nature, but there's more to this than meets the eye. Literally."

"What, you don't think Rinoa gave birth to a child? It's adopted or something…giving Bennett that whole '_family man image_' he needed for elections."

"No, Quistis I don't doubt that Rinoa had a child, it's very rare for a sorceress to give birth…but not completely unheard of. I checked that out after I talked to you. There have only been four other cases in recorded history. Each of the sorceress' received their powers at a very young age, all before the age of eighteen. That would explain how their bodies could handle the transformation and physical side effects from the embodiment. So yeah, I think it's Rinoa's all right… I just doubt that Richard Bennett is the father."

Quistis sat up looking him in the eye, confusion masking her face. "What? What do you mean," she demanded. A sudden fear gripped her body, momentarily she felt helpless to her own thoughts. "No, no…not Squall the little girl is only fourteen months old… That wouldn't be physically possible…she would've had to conceive two months after she left Garden."

"Mathematically it would be _one_ month after the attack," he said reaching for a group of folders next to the sofa. He opened up a manila folder handing her the child's picture that they were given three days ago for identification purposes. "Look at this child and tell me what you see…or more, precisely _who _you see."

For the second time to day, Quistis Trepe-Leonhart felt violently ill. It was staring her right in the face…_literally_.

"Oh my god…Seifer those eyes…I know those eyes…I…" she couldn't speak coherently. The only thing she could focus on was Allison's eyes, the same azure hues she spent countless years yearning for, dreaming of…now staring back at her with an innocent smile. Definitely, Rinoa's smile.

"Yeah, Quistis…I know. I spent years loathing those eyes… I know them all too well. The age can't be right…someone is lying somewhere. But around here, that's the norm. What would be strange is if anyone was telling the truth. You even mentioned Rinoa had been a huge bitch before she ran…later people concluded it was from planning the attack. Those few other cases of sorceress' giving birth, every one of them was with their knight. Only that bond could be strong enough to break the cycle of infertility. In history, only four other pairs have shared a deep enough love…now five."

She couldn't help the trembling. The realization of everything hit her. Everything. In one moment that day two years ago, all made sense. Something Ellone said scared Rinoa…she ran not for her protection, but for her unborn child. Damn it. Of course, that fit much better. Up until then, Rinoa was fighting, defending Garden. Beside Quistis. Ellone had been the key and the secret died along with her. Rinoa's behavior…it all fit perfectly…another piece of the puzzle they all had been trying to solve for two years.

"Seifer…I…I sent an unarmed pregnant woman out into the world…then Squall…he and I… How are they ever supposed to forgive me, when I can't forgive myself now?" Her body continued to tremble as she fell against Seifer's chest. Concealing her head between his shoulder and neck, trying desperately not to cry. He attempted to comfort her without speaking, for there were no words to help right now. She had to come to terms with this on her own. The only thing he could do is simply _be there_. Let her know that she wasn't alone, no matter how alone she felt.

* * *

The pain was too much to bear, as he turned and walked the final distance to the vehicle. Slowly he got in. Squall Leonhart was dead. Never could any feeling compare to this. Maybe his redemption did come, just not in the form he desired. He found her, and learned the answers to the questioned he dared not ask. Now he was no different from her, on the run, nowhere to call home…and utterly fucking miserable. He slammed his fist into the dashboard, breaking the Plexiglas that protected the instruments. Black leather gloves ripped from the jagged shards that remained. The crimson blood from his hand dripped slowly onto the floorboards.

And he did not care.

Resting his head on the steering wheel, for the first time he contemplated the end of his life. Not even before had he had these thoughts, images running through his mind. It would be so easy…the icy roads the perfect means. The impact of the truck into the ravines would make it relatively painless, that is if he wanted painless. Part of him wanted to suffer as before, but now…

So lost in his own purgatory, he didn't notice the door open, nor the chilling cold air that flowed in the vehicle. He only heard the door as it closed, quickly turning his attention to the passenger seat.

There she sat.

Hair snow covered, wet, and matted. She was shaking from head to toe with a combination of emotions and effects from the weather. She wasn't looking at him, only straight ahead. She never made any attempt to acknowledge his presence. For minutes, they sat there, neither wanting to speak. Yet he felt the greatest relief possible. Now, she knew all his secrets, and mistakes. And she was willing to forgive him someday. She truly was the strong one.

"Squall, don't speak to me…not now. We have two hours before the freighter leaves the harbor…we have a boat to catch."

Never looking at him, only keeping her eyes fixated on the road. No words had ever sounded better to him… "_We have a boat to catch_."

Closing his eyes, in his mind came the words, "_I love you_."

For a brief second, Squall could have sworn, within in his mind she reluctantly answered, "_Yeah…I love you too._"

* * *

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-One: Struggle **

The musty wooden crates smelled of mold. The darkened interior was only breached by the smallest rays of moonlight that shown through rotten planks. Together they were huddled by an exterior wall of the cargo ship, between the crates large enough to comfortably store an adult Behemoth. Although they were near, she had taken great caution never to make contact with him.

He understood.

Rinoa had not spoken to him in almost five hours, a short eternity he was willing to sacrifice. Squall kept his distance, never attempting conversation. He knew better. This was completely her decision; he respected her enough to allow her privacy. In time, she would ask him questions…and sitting in this godforsaken boat, they would have plenty of time.

Reaching the harbor had been easy enough. Squall had parked the vehicle on the outskirts of the shipping yards. His intentions were not to conceal it, rather just the opposite. It wouldn't be out of the ordinary by the least to have SeeD patrolling the harbors. To purposely try to conceal the vehicle would have been much more obvious.

The only snag they had run across was the 'voluntary inspections' enacted by the World Council around a year ago. They were about as voluntary as a root canal, but it sounded good to the citizens. Instead of openly stating, "_We're checking your ships so we can tax your asses_." From a political standpoint, the latter may have not gone over too well. After the customs inspections were finished, the two managed to sneak aboard, all in nonverbal communication.

Leaning his head against the wall, Squall closed his eyes memorizing the sounds of her breathing. It's strange what one can hear without words, in the stillness of the night. The rocking boat was a comfort right now, like a mother in a rocking chair soothing her crying child. After he thought he was going to go out of his mind, he checked the neon blue glow of his watch. It was now past midnight. From all best estimates, they would arrive in Dollet somewhere around nine in the morning.

Listening to her breathing Squall could tell Rinoa had not gone to sleep. Not rhythmic and peaceful, it sounded like she was going to blow up at him any moment. He waited.

One could cut the tension with the ever clichéd knife, and she knew it. Breaking the silence, she finally asked him, "Who knows I didn't kill Ellone?"

Exhaling loudly he answered, "Rinoa, before we left I didn't have much time to tell anyone. It was basically a need-to-know mission. I re-instated Quistis to SeeD so she and Seifer could…"

"Seifer?"

Shit. With everything else going on, he forgot about Seifer. Last time any of them had seen him, he was offering Rinoa as a human sacrifice. Oh yes, the day just got better. Even in the dark, he could tell she was looking at him, eyes throwing daggers. And he felt every single on of them enter his body.

"Rinoa please…a few days ago Seifer came by Garden offering to help. I have trusted him completely, and so far, he has not let me down. He needs salvation like the rest of us, trust me, he'll come through. It was his information that helped lead us to you…and Rinoa he believed in you from the start. Something that not everyone can say…_including me_."

Laughing openly, the kind of laughter one reaches when they no longer can cry, she found humor in her situation.

"The only people I have on my side are the woman who accused me of murder, the guy who ordered my murder, and the asshole who actually tried to murder me. Oh yes, fate is laughing at this one."

When put in such simple terms, Squall could see just how desperate her situation seemed within her own mind.

"Rin…the others will believe you. Hell, they will want to believe you. Nobody wanted to think you killed Ellone…"

"I didn't," she spat.

"I know that. I'm just saying that nobody _wanted_ to believe it in the first place."

"Nobody would have had Quistis not said that I did. Oh that's right, you never asked her did you? Too busy trying to get her into bed?"

"Damn it, you're not being reasonable. I never directly asked her…no. Never thought I would have to do something like that. I trusted her too…we were both betrayed."

"Just don't talk to me…it's late and I really don't want to hear this right now."

"I know Rinoa…but you do realize that you'll probably be seeing her tomorrow."

Curling her knees to her chest, she refused to speak anymore. Tomorrow would be pure hell. What was she going to say? What was she going to do? The only thing that kept her going was the thought of seeing Allison…and whether she would admit to herself or not she needed Squall there. By her side. Damn him.

* * *

It was a warm night in Dollet, given the time of year. Alex tossed and turned on the hard mattress. When the nightmare came, as it always did, she awoke with a sudden jolt. It was her curse to witness the murder over and over. A horrendous event she could never forgive herself for, even though it happened over twenty-five years ago.

Lying peaceful on her side, Allison was tightly wrapped with her favorite chocobo blanket. Alexandra had to get out of here, if only for a little bit. When she entered the small living room, both men were still up. When the door opened, both stopped their talking looking directly at each other, then finally to her.

Hyne, she hated secrets. Moreover, she hated the look these two guys were giving her right now.

"Hey, can one of you go in with Allison? I need to go get some air."

"At twelve-thirty in the morning?" Irvine asked.

She never answered, just walked out the backdoor…never saying another word to either man.

"She's so much fun, isn't she?" Zell sarcastically shot back at Irvine. "Nobody has irritated me that much since…"

"Seifer?" Irvine yelled standing up, looking uncharacteristically upset.

"Yeah…Irvine I was going to say Seifer…didn't think you would be so upset at the mere mention of the name. Gosh, and they say I have issues."

"No," Irvine pointed to the front door. "It's Seifer."

Hard feelings ran deep and Zell was not much on hiding his emotions. The anger was obvious on his face. Jumping up the martial artist would have started over to the old nemesis, had it not been for Irvine grabbing him by the arm. Up to this point, both of the men had been in momentary shock. Just as they were about to say something, Quistis stepped from behind the former knight.

"Don't even start you two," she said in her 'instructorly tone.' The one that basically said, "_If you mess with me you will be drinking Jell-O from a straw_."

"Quistis?" Zell finally was able to verbalize, albeit not so tactfully. "Do you know that is lapdog himself?"

"That is _Mr. Lapdog_ to you Chicken-Wuss," Seifer tauntingly replied.

Turning around glaring at him Quistis warned, "Seifer…don't you do this either. You promised to be civil. We have much bigger problems than you two needing a referee."

Looking back and forth between the scene unfolding in front of him, Irvine decided to be the voice of reason between the two men.

"Sorry Quistis…you have to understand the last person we thought we would be dealing with was _him_. The message we received from Selphie never mentioned that you would be bringing…um…_company_. We will try to remain calm…and you explain what _he_ is doing here, before we sacrifice him to the surf."

"Guys, Seifer is helping us. He arrived at Garden four days ago, since then he and Squall have been working to find Rinoa. Seifer helped us… Please, I know it's going to be hell, but we need to get along right now. Face it…you guys in the eyes of the law are no better than he is. If all of us want out of this, we need to work together as a team."

"Hey," Seifer tried speaking as seriously as possible. "I know how you feel. I fucked up. Is that what you wanted to hear? No matter how much I get on my knees and beg forgiveness it won't change the past. The only thing I can change is the present. I want to help Squall and Rinoa. Hell, I owe it to them for what I did… I owe it to you guys to help you out of your situation. Let's face it, who better knows how to slither in the shadows? You guys are in my territory. There is a reason I haven't been caught in five years. I'm good. I need this chance…I need the redemption for my mistakes. If you guys at any point don't trust me, or want me to leave…I will. No questions asked. Deal?"

Both guys looked at each other. Neither trusted the man, but if Squall and Quistis had been working with him for the last four days…then just maybe he might help. Shit, they had been searching for Rinoa for two years, and nothing. Now everything starts fitting in place, strangely both felt that Seifer was somehow a part of the puzzle. A piece that had been gnawed on, spit on, and chewed by a T-Rex…but still a part.

"Fine," Irvine spoke from both men. "But one false move and you're gone...literally off a cliff."

"I'm leaving," Zell said flatly. "I need some fresh air."

He turned, leaving the other three to stand in awkward silence.

"Is Allison here?" Quistis nervously asked.

"Yeah, she's asleep in bed."

Turning to Seifer, she reached for his hand, "Seifer…I need to see her. I want to look in those eyes…the ones that will never forgive me."

* * *

She sat on the rocky sea cliff, looking out into the dark chasm of night. The endless void seemed to swallow all it touched, the insignificance of her life was now more apparent than ever. Silent tears fell as waves crashed below. Alexandra could hear every sound, yet never see their movement. The night air turned cooler, for a moment she wondered how everyone was fairing. Emotions ran deep right now, a volatile situation at best. Her problems were not theirs, for they had been cursed with far too many.

Nightmares. They haunted her in every sleep; they haunted her when she was awake. The connection made without knowledge of outcome. Over the last year, each grew more dreadful, more grotesque. Not in symbolic metaphors, but in deep emotion. The worst nightmares are the ones that you experience, the ones that linger long after you awake. It had come to pass, painfully so, that these were no longer nightmares…they were much more vivid.

Many believers would call them visions. Alex knew better, these were no longer imaginings but reality. No longer an abstract concept, these were something far worse.

_Memories_.

They were the memories of the dead, the voices crying out from beyond the grave. She relived each terrorizing moment…it haunted her. Forever obligated to a group of strangers by fate.

Her destiny was to be amongst them, but never part of them. They had their military lives; she had nothing. She served her function, Ally and Rinoa became surrogate family. Now back where they belonged, the moment both blissful and disheartening. Their knight had returned, just as should be.

Now she was a felon, with no place for salvation from the recesses of her own mind. For a split second Alex surmised what would happen if she fell into the churning waters below. The sea beckoned her echoing her name, as if a siren calling to the sailor, the water seductively whispering. The nightmares were killing her, slowly eating away at sanity.

"Hey…um…you okay?" Zell spoke delicately, standing behind her.

Wiping the tears from her eyes, she looked into the dark void.

"Yeah, fine. I just had a bad dream, that's all. Nothing really of consequence."

She lied. Alex was far from fine, in fact, she was closer to tragedy than all of them.

Scratching his head, he kicked a few stay stones off over the edge. Their sounds were not heard, the oceans bellows much to overpowering.

"Fine just checking, you just seem to have an issue about sleeping and right now it's better than being in there with them…"

He paused. Trying to communicate with someone was more Selphie's department, how he wished her here.

"Yeah…I'm going to leave you alone now."

"Night."

"Yeah…night," he said reluctantly, turned and started to walk back to the house. A breeze sent an eerie chill down his spine. For a moment, he could have sworn that a ghost passed through his being. No. This was not fine; she was not fine.

"Hey wait a second. You know what_ Alexandra_, ever since I met you…well you have talked in riddles, and kept information to yourself. I'm tired of it. There is something going on here and you're not telling us."

Walking back to the cliffs edge he sat quietly next to her, folding his legs. She looked at him and for a moment, neither said a word. Her eyes filled with the sorrow of many, for the first time he noticed her tougher exterior eroding, rather the one who needed help, too afraid to ask. She turned away from him, trying desperately to hide the pain.

"I live the memories of the dead."

"Wha?" he looked, as their eyes met.

She smiled weakly, "I know you want the truth…but I just don't know how to put into words. They are feelings that I experience, it is nothing predictable."

"Alex, I don't understand any of this. My visions, some _unearthly _connection you mentioned two nights ago. Why…why was it me?"

"I don't know why she picked you that was not for me to decide."

"Who Rinoa?" asked Zell.

"What did you know about Ellone's parents? About her life at Winhill before Raine."

"Ellone…what does this have to do with her?"

"Everything," she spoke throwing a hand full of stones over the edge.

"Um…well we know that Raine was her legal guardian after her parents were killed during the first sorceress war. But…really, I don't think we know anything of her biological parents…to us she was just 'Sis'. We loved her."

"Murdered," Alex spat. "Her parents were _murdered_. There is a fucking difference Zell. Her father killed within his own home trying to defend his family. Her mother…wasn't as lucky."

"Huh? I thought they were both buried in Winhill?"

"Ellone's father is… But her mother was buried in a mass Estharian grave…thrown out like yesterday's trash."

"Excuse me…but how do you know all this? And why? If none of us thought too much about it, _not even Ellone_, why do you care?"

"Oh…Ellone cared. She just didn't want to burden you with her family. All of you had suffered so much pain; she didn't want to add anymore."

"What business is this of yours anyhow? I mean did you even meet her? Ellone is a subject that I really feel uncomfortable discussing with you…or anyone for that matter."

"I never met her…when she was _alive_. Her mother was raped by the fucking soldiers in Winhill, in front of her father. They let him watch before they shot him pointblank in the heart… They were going to kill her mother also, but decided to take her back with them. They detained her at an Estharian prison camp for almost two years…she was beaten and raped repeatedly. By the time they were done with her, she didn't even know her own name. Around that time, Odine found Ellone so they brought her mother from the camp to the lab…who was four months pregnant with the fucking warden's child. She was his personal whore by then… Zell they stole everything from her."

"During the next few months she stayed at Odine's…to be monitored. By the time she gave birth, she was almost dead. Her will to live was gone, but she saw the baby…she watched as they held her up. For nine months, she resented the fetus growing inside her, and everything it represented. But…when they held the baby up…she forgot. She only saw the innocence…"

"The baby…she looked at the baby…and smiled. They called her name, and she turned just in time to see the warden standing there with a gun…they fucking shot her in the head. Those bastards…in all their greatness they never cared about human life. She was nothing more than a research subject. Odine thought that the child would be a substitute for Ellone, that the baby would carry the same powers, but guess what…through their goddamned research they learned that it was the _father's _genes that carried the trait. Her mother had nothing to do with it. So, Odine ordered the murder of the child…Kenneth Williams, the doctor who had taken care of Ellone's mom during the pregnancy, was supposed to give the infant a lethal injection…but he didn't. The man had killed countless number of people, but couldn't tolerate taking the life of an innocent baby…"

"So he switched the body of that with a stillborn, took the baby to his wife…and raised meAnd that is how I became_ Alexandra Williams. _Ellone is my half sister..."

Words escaped him, the thought of having to live through these memories every night, the sensations and emotions they would cause. How did she keep going…how could she sleep?

"Alex, is that what you see when you sleep? I can't imagine…the dreams I saw of Rinoa were troubling enough. But to see that, knowing it actually happened…"

"Yeah Zell, I always see it through my mother's eyes…watch them kill her husband, feel the sensations of the abuse, and I can see my self being born…then _he_ always calls her name. Every night I wish she wouldn't look knowing what is coming next…but she always does… Every night I feel the impact of the bullet…then I wake up. Screaming."

* * *

She had never felt such stiffness in her life. Her entire body screamed of pain, from head to toe. Momentarily she found herself fazed when she opened her eyes, her surroundings completely foreign. Soon as her focused regained, she could make out the crates in the distance. The morning light was shining through the cracks now, lighting much more of the interior that she had ever seen.

She didn't have to look. Intuition told her that he was watching her, and out of pure stubbornness, she was not going to acknowledge him first. Why give him the satisfaction? So she kept her eyes forward, listening to their breathing, which somehow seemed go be increasing as the silence continued.

"Still not speaking?" he finally stated.

Pulling her knees to her chest, making every muscle scream out, she sighed outwardly. Hundreds of thoughts were racing through her head…foremost, _Quistis_.

"I don't get it Squall. You say that you love me, yet you were so willing to forgive her lies…now you want me to work _with_ her?"

"Don't ever say that I _forgive_ her. That is one thing that will never happen. But, I had to decide what was more import…my hate for her or my love for you. There was no contest. Rinoa…I will never forget what I lost."

No matter how many times Rinoa tried to understand, she still couldn't comprehend the situation completely. It was hard to envision the others _miserable_, knowing what she had personally experienced. Were they beaten? Where they trapped? She tried to weigh how emotional and physical balanced between the two scenarios…yet still she seemed to be missing the comparison.

At least now, she was trying to understand their side. Maybe once they were all together again, she could recognize the full picture… In a few short hours…she would see Allison.

She would see_ all _of them.

The one who tried to murder her, the one who accused her of murder, and the ones that believed her guilty.

* * *

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Two: Hostility **

Walking the distance between the harbor and the Dollet communication tower seemed the journey of a lifetime. Never had Rinoa remembered such a long trek. Every step of the way, she dreaded the immanent confrontation. The voyage felt more like that of a prisoner being escorted from death row to execution. Each stride took her closer to the past, recalling every painful memory of the betrayal.

Her salvation was_ Allison_…and Squall, but she would not admit the latter to anyone but herself.

The commander had led the way, taking obscure alleyways and wooded shortcuts to avoid detection. Training had served him well and never had Squall felt the stakes so high.

He too realized the complexity of the situation. Rinoa had been in complete silence since they started, yet he did not push her. Normally silence would have been his welcomed friend, but in this instance, each passing moment ripped at his heart…each moment reminding him of her pain, moreover, _his unfaithfulness_.

In spirit and body.

As the tower became visible through the dense vegetation, her heart rate quickened with anticipation. She found herself lost within her own mind, something picked up from years with Squall…and even more from years _without_ Squall. When they had reached the top, he stepped the uneven distance from the brush onto the pavement. Turning around, the knight silently offered his gloved hand in assistance.

Within her daydreams, his gesture was invisible; it wasn't that she _purposely_ was denying his aid, truly she did not notice. Reaching the summit, she lost her footing, causing her to fall forward. Reaching down to catch herself, Rinoa unintentionally released the object secretly being grasped within her palm. The platinum ring skipped across the brick road.

_Griever._

Squall watched as it rolled and finally landed near one of his boots. A tiny metallic '_clink'_ sounded when the two surfaces met. By this time, Rinoa had regained her composure and was standing across from him. Both found themselves eyeing the silver band. As if they sensed the other, each looked up simultaneously. Eye's locking.

With earthen eyes full what almost appeared to be embarrassment, Rinoa began to speak, "I…"

"It's fine," he cut her off with a slight gesture of his hand. Allowing her simply to get out of the explanation of _why _she was carrying it within her fist. Honestly, he didn't needto hear it. To see that she had the ring, to see that she was holding it, to see it within her very possession…was all he needed.

Rubbing her worn shoes against the cobblestone, Rinoa finally spoke again, "Well…?"

"Well…what?" he said slightly bewildered.

"Well," she began softly, "can I have it back?"

Dear Hyne…did he want nothing more than to grab her, never to let go. The mixture of innocents and maturity warmed his very soul. Instead of holding her, he settled for simply being within her presence. Bending down, he picked up the band. As he rose, both stood in deafening silence once again.

Finally, he extended his hand, offering Griever. Instinctively she reached for his hand and then paused. She made a fist, then a hesitation, before placing her hand palm upwards. Slightly confused at the gesture he looked at her with a bemused expression, one she remembered from years past. One from their first meetings, one of boyish innocence that was lost, in fact, that he maybe he truly never possessed.

For the first time since the woods, an almost mischievous smile appeared on her features, ever so slightly.

"What now?" he asked recalling how much her actions confused him.

"Do you remember what you said in the cabin…when I gave it back to you?"

Scratching the back of his neck, the words echoed in his mind. "Someday that you would have Griever back and**_ I_** would be the one to give it to you," he paraphrased.

"I don't think leaving it on a fallen tree in Trabia really counts as _officially_ giving it to me."

Holding the ring, he began to set it in her palm, and then stopped mirroring her actions of a few moments ago. Switching the ring to his other hand, his dark gloves moved the band into his left hand. Rinoa eyed him with concern and slightest tinge of hurt she was trying desperately to conceal. To her surprise, he reached his right hand out to hers. The leathery feel of his gloves contrasted greatly to her soft skin.

"Rinoa Heartilly, I know this is going to be one of the most difficult moments in your entire life. I can't pretend to understand anything you are going through. I can only offer you the comfort that I will be here…waiting for you. Remember through everything that has happened, and that is about to happen, _never_ doubt my feelings for you. Rinoa you are the only one that can complete me. No matter how much time…I swear…I will be here. Physically and in spirit…_always_."

Walking a step closer to her, he moved his left hand to join his right, both uniting in her single hand. Within the movement, he placed the ring back into her trembling palm, before letting go with both hands. Taking a step back, he watched as a peaceful, tranquil expression passed over her face. She looked at the ring with such an intense glare; he would have sworn she had never seen it before.

In her mind, _she hadn't_. This was the first time she truly possessed the ring; this time it was truly _a gift_.

A wonderful, magnificent gift.

* * *

"Hey," a voice startled them out of the private world they had built.

Squall turned to the unknown person standing in front of him. On instinct alone, he pulled out small handgun, which had been concealed in his jacket borrowed from the unfortunate SeeD trapped in the woodlands of Trabia. He would protect Rinoa…at any cost.

The woman jumped in shock. "Shit," she replied quickly raising both hands in the air, surprise apparent on her face.

"Who the hell are you?" he demanded.

"Squall," Rinoa spoke forcefully putting her hand on his forearm. "Lower your weapon. _Now_."

"Rin…" he tried to speak, but was hastily cut off.

"It's Alex!" Rinoa yelled.

With weapon still raised, he finally took his eyes of the stranger, turning toward Rinoa. She met his stare, nodding in confirmation. "Alexandra Williams," she restated firmly.

Lowering the gun, Squall looked at the lady in front of him, who looked less than amused at the incident.

Alex continued to walk up to the couple. "Wow Rinoa, how ever did you let this one go?" she shot back in obvious sarcasm.

Squall stood with stone-like features watching as the two women drew closer to one another.

"Ally?" the darker haired woman pleadingly asked.

Nodding her head in acknowledgement, Alex smiled. "Inside…she missed you."

Rinoa couldn't keep the tears from rolling down her face. She tried to wipe away the stray drops that traced her delicate skin. Reaching for Alex, she pulled her friend into a tight embrace.

"Thank you," Rinoa managed between sobs. "Thank you."

Alex smoothed the younger girl's hair, calming her down. "He's gone now Rin. He won't hurt you anymore."

Squall stood watching the scene with mixed emotions. Part of him was glad that they had returned to their comrades…and to Allison. Part of him was sad, as the closeness they shared for the last two days would be gone. Now they would be part of a group…a group of friends, family, and strangers.

More than anything, he found himself with a slight jealousy toward the woman now comforting Rinoa. The one who had guided her through unspeakable times; the one, who for the most part…replaced him. In every essence, the woman before him had done the job of a knight, not on a physical level, but by protecting the sorceress' spirit.

The two broke apart, and Alex pulled dampened hair strands gently behind her friend's ears. "We made it through…just like you knew we would." Rinoa smiled at the comment.

"Alex, I really need to see Allison," Rinoa spoke with an almost begging quality within her voice.

Shifting her weight back and forth, Alex darted her eyes between Rinoa and Squall. She wasn't exactly sure how to bring up the touchy subject. "Um, Rinoa…Squall…_Quistis_ is here. I just thought you should know."

"I know," Rinoa spoke softly looking at her friend. "Don't worry Alex, I know."

"I am worried," the older woman whispered back. "Do you want me to go with you?" For a moment, Rinoa glanced back to Squall. His eyes seemed emotionless. She knew he silently wanted to be there, but better judgment told her this is something she would have to face alone. This was _her_ reality.

"Walk me to the door," she requested, afraid to examine Squall's expression. Alex nodded and wordlessly they closed the distance to the small house. Knight followed behind sorceress, always within arms reach if need be, but still allowing her freedom. Right now, that meant - _freedom from him_. He accepted that.

Alex guided her toward the smaller house, almost hidden with overgrowth. Rinoa turned to her friend, with a saddened expression. In return, she offered her comfort with a simple word, "Allison."

The single thought made the confrontation worth it. Holding her breath, the emotional battered woman slowly turned the knob. Alex once again gave her a small, reassuring smile before turning her gaze toward Squall. He was in his own world, lost in the pure simplicity of watching Rinoa and silently lending her all the strength that flowed through his body.

When Rinoa finally walked over the threshold, the knight moved his glance to Alex. For the first time, the two shared the same apprehension. For the first time, the two attempted to understand their connection to the sorceress.

* * *

Quistis silently sat on the couch. Leaning forward, she worked on the laptop as if every second was her last. Over the course of the morning, she had managed to get several encrypted messages to Selphie.

Selphie, for her part, had been acting as liaison between the _wanted SeeDs_ and Cid. After the two arrived last night, Quistis Trepe faced one of the most difficult obstacles to date. She sent a letter of explanation to Cid…not only on their disappearance…but also the truth on Ellone.

Part of her was glad to have it over with, part of her was afraid of the reactions she would receive. Telling Zell and Irvine was hard enough…neither had really said anything to her since then. Not that they were angry or yelling, such as Squall's reaction days before, but their responses were internal. The looks she received were answers enough…pain, hurt, and betrayal shown within their eyes.

However, they didn't hate her. She knew that.

What was most disturbing was the culpability the two males shared…both believing Rinoa guilty. Zell had taken the news harder, walking out the door without a word. Quistis had known he needed to work out his anger, which was his nature. That's what made him _Zell_.

Irvine actually questioned for a few moments, trying to understand her reasoning. No matter how hard she tried, the words seemed to fall flat. Even as she was speaking, the words were difficult for her to comprehend. Seifer had been near, for support. Yet kept his distance, he knew this was her road to cross… her battle. _Her steps to redemption_.

But telling Cid and Edea…the two people who had always believed in her. The parents she never had, the only authority she knew. Telling them of her treachery was far worse than confronting the others, save Rinoa. Ellone was their child, their reason to become who they were today. And Quistis lied to them. Betrayed the honor of the only sister she ever knew. In one brief moment of time…one second she changed the course of hundreds of lives. Now was her time to face the consequences…to start over whatever life she may have left.

To be for the first time, _Quistis Trepe_.

No longer in the shadow of others…and her own emotions. For the first time she was doing what she wanted, from her heart. The heart that led her down this path was now slowly going to save her. From Squall, from President Mitchell…from _herself_.

Seifer sat quietly next to her. He was feeling less than comfortable about being around everyone again. For once, he decided that _not speaking_ was the best policy. Maybe Squall had stumbled upon something after all, with the silent persona.

The only sounds in the room were the deep-uneasy breaths of the inhabitants and the strokes of the keyboard…until the door opened. Irvine being the closest, immediately took a semi-defensive position, although both Alex and Zell were expected to return shortly.

After the martial artist disappeared for a while, Alex decided to go in search of him. Even though she knew, he needed to be alone, something inside made her want to verify he was doing all right. Maybe it was the same feelings Ellone had shared with the younger children at the orphanage. Maybe deep inside, she felt included with this group… Maybe somehow they were her new family.

No matter how much Quistis psychologically prepared when the door opened…time froze. And there were only two people in the room.

_Sorceress Rinoa Heartilly and Quistis Trepe-Leonhart._

* * *

When their eyes met, nothing else existed in that time…not Squall, not Seifer. Two people thrown into the battlefield of life, now left without an army, without a platoon, only in solitude of their own minds and hearts. The rest of the world faded away.

For Quistis…only Rinoa stood within sight. The very person she deceived two years ago…the very lie she lived.

For Rinoa…only Quistis stood within sight. The person she once called friend…much more than friend, _family_…the one person who caused the pain with a simple answer. The one person who now dreamed of redemption from that very act…the person who married her soul mate and left her to raise her unborn child in circumstances way beyond comprehension.

Yet, Rinoa did not hate her.

She could not hate her.

There was something in Quistis, try as she might, that held back the darkest feelings. Maybe some kind of loyalty, some kind of distant friendship, or maybe even the slightest bit of understanding…though the thought truly never crossed her mind.

Both girls stared at one another as Rinoa walked cautiously toward the center of the room. Irvine and Seifer did not notice the figures of both Squall and Alex also emerging from the doorframe. All eyes were focused on the two. Nobody dared to imagine how the two would react.

Looking at the instructor on a physical level, not much changed…her hair longer and maturity added to her features. But the difference was evident in the unsaid words. Her eyes held the emotions that her heart was afraid of admitting…the fear, the hurt, and mainly, the sorrow.

If one thing Rinoa could tell…it was the sorrow in her eyes. Not something forced upon her, but something from deep within. As she walked toward her, the rays of sun caught the reflection of the Griever pendant that adorned the former instructor's neck.

The only true gift from Squall…not as a husband, but as a friend.

Rinoa refocused her eyes on the medallion, unaware of the other's presence. The mate to the ring she held tightly in her palm…unseen to everyone else. The ring that gave her the strength to venture into the room, the ring that was an extension of her knight.

Watching as her eyes drifted toward the pendant, Quistis noticed the ever-so-slight gasp that escaped her lips. Maybe it was the shock of seeing something that Squall gave on his own free will, the most painful part. For the first time, the blonde woman had guilt feelings about having the heirloom.

Yet, Rinoa said nothing.

Closing the distance, Rinoa reached out her slightly trembling hand toward the metallic lion. She felt each crevasse of the mold, along with each imperfection. Flashbacks of the chain around Squall's neck flooded her memories…

Quistis let out her breath, which up until this moment, she didn't know she had been holding. The sound brought Rinoa out of her thoughts, until the two girls stood looking directly into the other's eyes.

After a brief uncomfortable silence, Quistis started to speak, "I…I…"

Yet the words did not come. She realized that nothing she could possibly say could take back the damage. The years escaped. From the corners of her eyes, tears started streaming down her face, but refused to yield the silence.

For that, Rinoa was grateful.

The one thing that would have truly upset her…as she had vehemently stated to Squall, was hearing the words, _"I'm sorry."_ Two small words that would only intensify the situation…instead Quistis said nothing.

_For that…she was grateful. _

Quistis could see the hurt in her friend's eyes…along with a pain that did not have to be spoken. Something about her innocence was lost, now the woman who stood before was not the same girl from Timber. Time had changed her.

When Quistis tried to form the words within her mind, nothing came. Maybe she knew that nothing she could say at this point would help. Yet, having Rinoa not speak was far worse than she could have imagined. She expected yelling, screaming such had been the case before…yet she got stillness.

Silence spoke volumes more than any words.

Rinoa finally placed the pendant back to Quistis' chest carefully, cautiously treating the medallion with respect. Retracting her hand, Rinoa placed her hand on her forearm…still holding the ring in the left hand.

Nobody else said a word. The tension was unlike any battle. This was between friends, not enemies. A cry cut through the silence as if a dagger to flesh…as the sound of a child innocent's filled the room. Rinoa took her eyes off Quistis and focused them to the small bedroom behind her. Without another word, Rinoa once more made contact with the remorseful blue eyes, before turning to walk toward the source of the cries.

Only Allison could have diffused such a situation…only her love and purity kept the situation within perspective. As Rinoa walked into the smaller room, Alex glanced back at Squall. Who once again studied every inch that Rinoa walked. Like a protective figure, _like a knight_. Squall looked up at her, for a brief moment their eyes met, both with concern. Finally, Alex silently headed the same path as Rinoa. Something told her to check on her friend. In all honesty, Alexandra felt uncomfortable around the others right now.

The sense that someone was watching had drawn Squall out of his solitary world. He turned to meet the slightly older woman's eyes. Then, something else caught his eyes for the first time…a golden chain she was wearing. Before she started to walk away, he could have sworn, it looked like a smaller golden copy of his platinum ring. For the first time, he actually contemplated this stranger's role in their lives. How would she have such a ring…and why? His momentary line of thinking changed when the echoed sounds of Allison's crying ceased.

The bedroom door shut, the two women safely away from the rest. Quistis quickly headed out the front door. Never once checking for the others reaction's…not even her husband's.

* * *

She sat staring out into the endless horizon…amber hues danced on the surface of the turbulent waters. Quistis reached for some sort of harmony in her life. Like an answer from Hyne, Seifer appeared next to her.

"Well that went better than I thought," he remarked trying to keep upbeat.

"She hates me." Quistis watched the seagulls circling overhead.

"No…she doesn't. I don't think it's in her to hate…especially you. I think it will take time, but someday…somehow you two will reach an understanding."

"She'll never trust me again. I'll never have her as a friend."

"No, probably not. However, she'll respect you. Give her time…give _them_ time as a family."

"Time," she whispered back. "_Time_."

Moments of awkwardness followed as nature's sounds made a conversation of their own. There was one question that Quistis dreaded asking…yet the time was drawing nearer. During the last few days, she had grown to heavily dependent on Seifer…something she hated admitting. Maybe she drew from his strength. Hell, she might have even drawn from his weakness. Yet she knew whatever it was…it came from his soul. It was pure.

"Garden will be here soon. Cid understands the situation…well maybe _understand _is not the correct word, but he is willing to face Mitchell head on. It will be war. Everything he wrote back was so official, as were Selphie's messages. I don't know if they will ever treat me as an equal again."

"Hey," he said trying to lighten her mood. "If it makes you feel any better, I'll always treat you as an equal."

Quistis had to chuckle at the attempt on his part, he was trying so hard. "Not really Seifer, but thank you anyhow."

Reaching to her, Seifer pulled her close to him in an embrace. A feeling of security that both had grown used to over the past few days; one foreign for so many years.

As much as she dreaded the answer…she had to know. Seifer had to know his fate. Pulling back stands of hair, she finally gathered the courage. "They will bring you up on charges of treason if you return. Cid said that _if _you were among us, you would still face disciplinary measures from Garden and its allies. Seifer…if you want your freedom, you will have to leave me…_us_ now."

* * *

There is a comfort unknown in holding something so small, so innocent. Rinoa held Allison as if every second was going to be the last breath she took. Every feature she tried to memorize…every toe, every finger, and every giggle. The child had been more than happy to see her mother return. The crying stopped immediately when Allison realized who was coming to her rescue.

Intense eyes of blue with the slightest hints of brown stared straight into her heart.

"Mommy is here," she whispered unable to say anything else through the tears.

The child clung on tight, wrapping small arms around her neck. Finally, Allison let her delicate head rest on her mother's shoulder. In that moment, Allison found peace, closing her eyes to hear the sounds of her mother's heartbeat.

Alex watched from beside the door, afraid to ruin such a serene moment. Yet, she had to talk to Rinoa, so much had happened, so much information known to others.

"You didn't tell him the truth." Alex tone reflected that of an older sister reprimanding the younger sibling.

"When are you telling Squall Leonhart about _his_ daughter?"


	6. Combat, Emulation, Militancy, and Dissonance

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Combat **

Rinoa looked at her friend with apology in her eyes, before she turned away in embarrassment. Resting her head gently on the child, she searched for the words. Explanations not even she could understand. Yet an attempt to vocalize the ideas would come across as immature or spiteful. Realizing the stress this was causing, Alex decided to approach the matter from an entirely new perspective: Understand Rinoa's reasoning behind the omission.

"Okay, before we talk about what _hasn't_ occurred, let's talk about what _has_," replied Alex sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Yeah," Rinoa spoke softly. "Then maybe I'll understand it a little more too."

"So…"

"Alex, I love him,"

"I never doubted that Rinoa, not even when you tried to convince me…and yourself otherwise. Just because you say the words doesn't make them true."

"I'm scared. I know that we can never be truly happy…a family. Maybe I feel like I'm protecting him from the loss…maybe I'm protecting _myself_ from the guilt."

"But Rinoa, he told you about Quistis right? You forgave him for that."

"No," exclaimed Rinoa a little too loud, causing Ally to stir. She carefully laid her hand on the child's head, who seemed comforted by the touch. "He told me he was _married_…not to who. I found out on a radio broadcast, he _conveniently_ left that part out. So I _conveniently_ left out the part about Allison's father."

"Rinoa…that isn't you talking, you're allowing the anger to cloud your thinking. I know you wouldn't do that."

"Yes, you're right. Do you want to know the ironic thing? Even though Quistis was the one who lied…I'm still angrier at Squall. Maybe on some level I expected it out of Quistis…or _anyone_ for that matter. But not Squall, anyone but Squall. I thought we always had this deeper connection, that he would never betray me. Alex he really believed that I killed Ellone…he so much as said it to me," explained Rinoa voice cracking as each word became harder to speak. As the tears started down her face, Allison looked up with childlike innocence and curiosity. "When I saw him in Deling, I knew he believed that I… Why Alex…why didn't he believe in me?"

"Rinoa, I think you are taking this all wrong. Have you ever thought that maybe he didn't believe in himself? He didn't fail you - _he failed himself_. That he couldn't live with, so it became easier to blame you. Only now is he facing his failures and trying to make amends. Do I think it was right? No. However, I don't know him, but I know you. I'm going to say something that might seem out of place right now…all I ask is that sometime soon you will think about it."

Alex stood to look her friend in the eye, placing one hand gently on her shoulder. "Rinoa, maybe…just maybe, what happened is for the best." Rinoa gasped at the mere thought of the last two years being anything but a living hell.

"How Alex? You know what Richard did to me…you saw what he put me through. How can you even stand here and say that…_to me!_?"

"Rin…I know what happened. Remember, I lived within the nightmare too. I'm saying think about what you learned…how you grew, became stronger. Don't answer me now…just consider it."

"Whatever," she dryly retorted.

"Rinoa, tell him _soon_. There is a room full of people out there who know, if you don't tell him somebody is going to…whether it slips out by accident or not. Just because you found out about Quistis on the radio, doesn't mean Squall should hear it from someone else. This is Allison you're talking about; you owe it to _her_ if nothing else."

"I will…just give me a little time right now. I promise I'll talk to him before the days end."

"Thank you," stated Alex rubbing Rinoa's shoulder in comfort. After giving her friend a quick smile, she started to walk out the door. Before it opened, Rinoa brought up a subject she would have rather avoided.

"Alexandra tell me the truth, did you know Squall was married?"

The look in her eyes answered the question, but Alex knew after everything, truth was the only option.

"You just had Allison… Rinoa I was worried; wasn't sure how you would handle the news. After that, things with Richard got worse and what spirit you had was slowly being broken. I knew it would only hurt you. I made sure that any newspapers you had…well I _made sure_ you didn't find out. It wasn't important. Only Allison was."

Rinoa nodded in acceptance without words. Slowly she lay down on the bed, holding her daughter close. Shutting her eyes thousands of images and memories flooded inner thoughts. Each one only adding to the confusion she felt, the years of guilt and anger seemed to run together. Yet, for the first time in two years, she was able to clear her mind, only concentrating on the rhythmic sounds of the Ally's breathing. She was at peace and joined her daughter in exhausted, content slumber.

* * *

"This is it. From now on there will be no turning back." The commander's face showed little emotion as he spoke to Irvine and Zell.

"So what is Garden's position on the sorceress?" The martial artist spoke out of habit.

"Balamb Garden, _well Cid_, is with us. He is giving the individual students and SeeDs an opportunity to leave if they don't stand behind the decision. And Zell…please call her Rinoa."

Shaking his head, he looked toward his friend. Thinking back to how he was corrected only days before, for just the opposite. He mumbled under his breath, "Funny, think I was calling her Rinoa all along."

Squall did not appreciate the comment, nor did he like the implications. But the last thing they needed right now was more tension, inhaling deeply he continued explaining the encrypted communications.

"The last message I was able to pull off the laptop was not the most reassuring. Esthar and their resources are with us; I'm sure Loire had something to do with that. There is no love loss for President Mitchell on that continent. Trabia is in turmoil due to the death of Richard Bennett and they have no military forces that do not pertain to their local Garden. Trabia Garden, for the most part, will stand with us. The Timber militia is small, but one we can count on. Finally, the Dollet Dukedom as of yet has remained a neutral ground. The Galbadian presence is strong here, but the civilians might have another idea all together. We'll take our chances with them."

The commander momentarily paused as the bedroom door opened and Alex emerged. He gave her a blank stare, which only made her feel as she was intruding on a top-secret meeting.

"Sorry guys," she sarcastically retorted. "Guess I'll go outside and…um_…sit_." She started to leave, as she walked by Zell gently grabbed her arm.

"Squall, Alex is part of us, whether you like it or not. I know she isn't SeeD, but she has risked her life for Rinoa and Allison. She is one of us now."

Closing his eyes, he wanted to come back with a good 'commander-like' reason that she shouldn't stay knowing the current situation. But as he looked at her, all he saw was the person who saved Rinoa, and in return, saved him. More important, for some reason, he couldn't get over the sense of familiarity that surrounded her. Maybe it was the Griever ring she wore around her neck or maybe deep down he could sense the bond with Ellone. He trusted her. Damn it.

"Whatever," he replied sternly. "Don't get in the way."

She rolled her eyes as Squall returned to his military demeanor.

"Galbadia Garden is most likely to side with Mitchell. A majority of the students are from Deling and remain bitter about the events of five years ago. Cid managed to get a hold of General Caraway, who was currently traveling to Trabia for…Renee Bennett's funeral. He changed the itinerary when Cid stated it was of the up-most urgency. Caraway doesn't know about Rinoa yet, but his safety would be in question if he returned to Deling. The troops might respect him, but when they find out the sorceress is alive…"

"They will turn against him when she is being harbored at Garden," finished Irvine.

"Exactly. From the information Selphie and Cid have managed to gather, nobody wants to help _protect_ Rinoa…not even members of Balamb Garden. They still see her as a murderer, but they were only informed of the truth this morning. Like all things, it will take time to register. The only problem…I just don't know what _time_ Rinoa has right now. But more than others dislike her, they _despise_ President Mitchell and the totalitarianism of the council. B-Garden and its allies will fight for sovereignty, but not for the sorceress. That has been made crystal-clear. Nobody will be there to _protect_ Rinoa…from either side..._except us_."

* * *

"If you want your freedom, you will have to leave us now," softly repeated Quistis.

Seifer looked away, watching the seagulls fighting for tiny morsels on the near by ledge. "What authority do you think Squall will have to ask for leniency?"

"After all of this…I guess it depends on the outcome. If we go against Mitchell's troops in Galbadia and win, it will devastate the World Council. Government will be in the same chaotic state it was five years ago after Ultimecia. If we lose…we'll be facing the same charge of treason. So my guess…nobody will be in a position to rule absolute. However, if Garden remains intact, he will work in your defense. I know him."

"I didn't say _my_ defense," he said bluntly. "I could care less about what happens to me."

"Seifer?"

"They didn't deserve this, neither of them did. If I go back to Garden and help take down President Mitchell…I want leniency for Raijin and Fujin."

Quistis couldn't help the smile on her face. Even though her fears of Seifer being sentenced to life in prison, or far worse death, the loyalty remained. He was risking his freedoms for his friends, a sign of honor that she truthfully would've never expected from the troubled student so many years ago.

"Their only crime was trusting me. Although it may have been ignorant, it was done with the best intentions. They always say the road to hell is paved with good intentions…I guess the person who quoted that was friends with Ultimecia also."

"I'm not promising anything Seifer; you know how much influence I will have when we get back. Hell…I'll be lucky if I'm not sharing a cell with you."

"Well," he said turning to her mischievously. "That might not be so bad then. Just don't hog the bed like you did the other night."

"I don't hog the bed," she replied in mock anger. "I woke up several times when you flopped some limb on top of me."

Standing up he smirked offering her a hand, "Don't say you didn't enjoy it. Next time we'll just need a bigger bed."

"_Next time,_" echoed the words through her mind. "_Next time._" Quistis avoided eye contact as she stood. Brushing her dress of debris, she looked at him and softly replied, "Yeah, next time." He couldn't help but notice the slight fear in her eyes and the slight smile on her face.

* * *

Walking down the halls of Balamb Garden, Selphie could feel uneasiness about her. Not sense the original attack five years ago had Garden actually prepared for battle. The assault two years ago was unprovoked…but this…_this scared her_.

Training your entire life for battle can never truthfully prepare you for conflict. No matter how much you think you are prepared. Ever war is different; every battle takes on its own personality. This was no different. Before against Galbadia Garden the students of Balamb Garden stood as one, but now the populous split, much the same fashion as with the supporters of Norg and Headmaster Cid.

Cid had made a public announcement in the morning concerning the crisis and the subsequent return of the sorceress. Selphie had been in the library at the time, searching old microfiche records that could be used against Mitchell. She immediately felt all eyes on her when he announced '_she_ _would be returning and the entire incident with Ellone was a misunderstanding_.'

The Headmaster, of course, and been more political about it…trying hard to avoid any reference of Quistis' wrongdoing. Frankly, Cid was good at politics. The man had managed to transform a simple idea into the best mercenary force in the world.

His downfall_, he cared_.

He actually cared about the welfare of others. His motives were selfless, but even his great oral talents couldn't hide the uneasiness in his voice. The students knew. When they sensed the confusion from their leader, they in return, multiplied it tenfold. Garden was in an _'organized state of panic'_ as Selphie liked to refer to it…a term that she coined on several missions with Squall. A man who never showed panic to the team, yet the more they knew Squall the more they could read him…well, until Rinoa left.

Which brought her back to the library…and the dozen pairs of eyes upon her. Others knew of the closeness of the group. Yes, they had their differences, but they were family and shared a bond that no other SeeD or cadet had.

Or ever will have.

Suddenly she felt out of place among the students and faculty alike. Yes, she knew the truth, but the others were not as fortunate. Grabbing her books, she continued onward down the hall, deciding to head to Cid's office. After the election, the headmaster surrendered his old office to Squall, settling for a much smaller area. He only stayed at Garden on rare occasions; much of his work was in the capital of Galbadia.

Today Cid was in his office at Balamb Garden. After he received the initial e-mail from Quistis, he grabbed what files and computer disks he could from Deling, leaving promptly. No doubt that his and Edea's safety would now be in question, such as General Caraway.

Selphie forced what smile she could through the hallways, avoiding eye contact as much as possible. She decided to continue her work in Squall's office, using his vacant computer. She knew normally Squall would hate the intrusion of privacy; in fact, it would be a dismissible offensive. Given the circumstances, she knew the commander would stand behind her decision fully.

Arriving at Squall's office, she saw Lauren sitting at her computer terminal in utter disbelief and shock. Selphie looked down at the screen and was immediately horrified.

"I found this encrypted message buried in the hard drive… Selphie, President Mitchell's troops are aware that everyone is currently still in Dollet… It will only be a matter of hours before they are located. I already notified Cid we had an emergency situation. He should be here any minute."

"They're going to find them," murmured Selphie. Biting her lower lip, she thought for a moment of Garden's current speed and distance. "We won't make it this way."

"I know," Lauren replied softly. "I don't exactly know where they are staying. Given the land size and general population of Dollet…the entire area could be searched door-by-door within four hour period once the troops arrive."

"We have to get there quicker then planned." Selphie pulled gingerly at one of the braids adorning her head. "The Ragnarok!" Her eyes lit up with hope. "I can fly Ragnarok! It has been awhile but it should be like riding a bicycle, right?"

Lauren chuckled slightly at the older girl. "Sure Selphie, a bike with semi-automatic machine guns, an arsenal of bombs, and the ability of space travel… It sounds like the very first bike I ever owned."

"Thank you." Selphie gave her friend a pat on the shoulder. "Thank you for everything you've done. You'll never know how much your support has meant to all of us."

Lauren nodded in a gesture of gratitude. "Go get your friends Selphie, before they do."

Selphie started leaving in a hurry when she heard Lauren call for her to stop.

"I think there is something you should know Selphie…this communication originated on a Garden terminal. Be careful whom you trust."

* * *

He stared at the door for what had to be hours. In reality, only minutes past but time somehow seemed irrelevant. To Squall, the bedroom door seemed so much more than thin plywood. It was a symbol of the new life he started only four days ago, it was a return to the life he had lived before. Yet never truly appreciated.

Closing his eyes, he cleared every thought from his head…every anger, every betrayal, and every hurt. Instead, he looked at the positive and tried to forget his anxiety about meeting Rinoa's daughter for the first time.

_Rinoa's daughter._

It was a phrase that still did not register clearly. Over the last few days, he had done much soul-searching. For most of his adult life, he vehemently stated he did not want children. Yet, when faced with the reality, it was not the child that scared him. It was unconditional love attached to the innocent life. The idea seemed so foreign, so unknown it send a deep fear into his heart.

Something so fragile, relying on something so burdened and scarred. The notion that a being could love without ulterior motives, with just purity seemed unreal...unnatural. Maybe it was the same fears that caused him to push Rinoa away years before. Two years ago was just a catalyst to the inevitable. Truthfully, he had started pushing her away almost the moment he let her in.

Cautiously he opened the door.

Somehow the apprehension momentary disappeared when he saw the image laid out before him. The sunlight filtered through the closed drapes as dust particles circled the air. Facing him on the bed, he could see Rinoa with a sheet now pulled over her lower body. One arm lay on the pillow, while the other gently rested on the delicate human being next to her.

He had seen Allison's picture days before in the briefing room at Garden. The same picture that Zell had asked about…even Zell could see, where he was blind.

The answer among the group: "_All babies look the same_."

Never could they have been more wrong. For the child in front of him was the image of her mother. Even from the distance he stood, the similarities were unmistakable. Never had a child been more beautiful. He stared at the girl and her mother, watching as each one took a breath. Like a sentry on duty, he was there to protect _them_. It was now his responsibility.

The dark hair, the nose…there was just a familiarity about the child he couldn't place. Even her size was surprising. Squall had little experience with kids, in his mind the child would be the size of a newborn. But she was larger and thankfully less frail than he envisioned.

Something kept drawing him nearer the tiny girl. Maybe it was a curiosity of the child within himself. Never had he wanted to even 'look' at a baby, yet right now he wanted to do nothing more than pick her up. It still scared him. Now he met the being that he was sharing Rinoa with…and somehow he didn't mind.

Rinoa let out a soft cry. Tensing up he quietly walked around the foot of the bed. When the expression on her face didn't change, he fought against himself. It was a losing battle, for he hated seeing her in such distress. Softly he touched her shoulder. With the contact, her body tensed even more and her eyes suddenly opened.

He could see the fear, the pain written in her eyes.

Involuntarily when she awoke, she chocked out the word '_no_'. When the cloudiness cleared her mind, she remembered where she was, and a sudden relief flowed through her body.

The tears that had started to form on her eyes, now actually started to sparkle as a slight smile lit her expression. Trying not to wake Allison, she rolled away from the child and toward Squall. He bent down to face her at eye level, but never removed the hand from her shoulder.

"You okay?"

"Yeah…" she hesitantly spoke. "I just thought you were someone else for a moment."

"I can never imagine the hell you endured. Rinoa…even if I didn't know what happened to you. The look in your eyes when you woke up spoke volumes… I…"

"Squall it's over, okay? I don't know what I'm going to have to face in the next few days, but Richard Bennett is dead and so is _Renee Bennett_. It's just me…Rinoa Heartilly and Allison…" she paused never thinking of her daughter as a 'Heartilly'. "It's just Rinoa and Allison." Correcting her own mental mistake.

"Well you two," he spoke softly. "Garden is on its way here. They should reach us by this evening."

"Garden?" Placing her legs over the side, Rinoa moved into a sitting position. "Garden…is coming _here_? _Me_?"

"You're coming with us. Both of you," he spoke nodding to the baby. "We will all be with you. Cid prepared the others that you will be boarding in Dollet."

"_The others_," she repeated. "I…um…Squall…I can't."

"You can. _And you will_." It wasn't a statement, it was an order. "Alex is coming with us. We have offered her full protection."

"From what…_the sorceress_? Being a traitor against Bennett, a member of The World Council? Who will they be protecting her from?"

"Rinoa, what other choice do we have? President Mitchell is behind this, he has been since the beginning…"

"No, that was _your wife_," she spitefully corrected.

Squall ignored the latter comment continuing, "We have Garden forces and our allies. It's our only hope. If you ever want a normal life…if you ever want Allison to have a normal life…it's our only option."

Turning away she quietly mumbled, "I'm not meant to have a normal life. Squall…I know my time is running out. I've known that from the beginning. If it's not one thing, it's another. My only hope is that Allison will have the 'normal life' that I never could."

He winced as she spoke of her time drawing near, but he didn't want to upset her by getting irate. Although, the way she was talking, it was growing more difficult by the second. Squall watched as Rinoa stood, looking out the window before turning her attention back to him.

"I'll go…not for me, not for you, but for Allison. Maybe, just maybe, _she_ can survive this."

* * *

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Four: Emulation **

As the afternoon passed, the group went about their lives. Quistis and Seifer had purposely stayed away from the rest of the faction. Yet, never did they venture far, as Dollet was by no means safe. Zell, Irvine, and Squall planned in the main room the entirety of the afternoon. Military strategy and related issues were left up to them. Communication with Garden also resumed, and Caraway had arrived safely at Balamb Garden. Above all, they had been informed Galbadian troops had entered the vicinity. The only consolation, the fact Ragnarok was currently underway. The craft at top speed should be their within an hour's time.

Alex had stayed by the side of Rinoa and her daughter…not much had been said. Even between the two girls an awkward silence formed. Part of Rinoa wanted to tell Squall before she changed her mind again…but logic told her to wait to a safer time. But then again, what if there were _no safer times_? With every second, her fear seemed to multiply in apprehension. His reaction to having a daughter…more importantly, would he understand the reasons of not informing him when they first met up again?

Was it truly for control? For some unseen spite toward him?

Then when she found he was married, to Quistis no less, time grew more precious with every second. As did her need to protect Allison from the pain she felt that would inevitably come. For his part, Squall had been kind and understanding about the child. Rinoa could tell from their conversation in the bedroom, he could learn to care about the girl…no matter the paternity. She could feel how deeply their bond was growing, deeper than before. In such a short amount of time…after all these years.

Was it fate or destiny? Was it the means to an end…_her end_?

Maybe she was just making peace with herself, with him. Allison held her hopes for the future. And even if he didn't know it…the girl also held Squall Leonhart's.

She promised Alexandra today he would discover the truth. Rinoa Heartilly decided to keep her promise. Tonight when they were safely on board Ragnarok, she would talk to Squall.

She had to.

* * *

"Never," he stated impishly.

"Seriously?" Quistis asked in amazement.

"Serious."

"I just would have thought that…"

"No," he cut her off. "It's something I don't like talking about. When would have_ that_ come in handy? I've never heard of a life or death situation revolving around it."

She stopped along the tree-lined path. Carefully observing they were still within eyesight of the cabin, also checking the vicinity for any unwanted intruders. Taking a barrette out of her pocket, she gathered her hair into a make shift ponytail. Clumps of hair still strayed out of the confinements, but it was close enough.

"Here," she held out her hand toward him. "If this is going to be your last day of freedom, let's make it worthwhile."

"Really?" he raised an eyebrow at her.

Rolling her eyes she replied, "You're incorrigible."

"I try," he countered. "I thought we were supposed to be guarding the parameter?"

"We are. We can do this and watch…remember, I am a trained professional."

"Oh _Mrs. Instructor_ I do think you are beginning to have a personality."

"That hurts Seifer." She winced in the bright sunlight. "Now come on, we don't have all day."

"Um…we have no music."

"Yes we do…listen."

Seifer gazed into her eyes as he listened to the music of nature all around him. The waves, the birds, and the crickets…each with a melody, but the loudest sound he heard was the beating of his own heart. The rhythmic sound reverberated within his chest and throughout his body. With a contentious smirk, he took his hand in hers, intertwining their fingers.

"Really Quistis, I never learned to dance. I suppose if puberty boy can do it, so can I."

"Good, now that we have that settled. Can you hear the music? Can you feel the rhythm?"

"Of your heartbeat?" Almost as soon as he said the words, he felt the redness of embarrassment creep into his face.

"_Tempo Giusto_," she replied as they started moving across the cobblestone path. She felt him step on her foot, but hid the pain. He quickly tried to correct himself and follow her lead.

"Tempo…wha?" he replied looking in her eyes. They continued moving around in a small circle, rather unsuccessfully. She averted her eyes from his, to scan the horizon for intruders as they turned.

"It's a phrase…it means '_the right tempo_' it's the average beat of the human heart."

"Oh yeah…_that_," he replied knowingly, although it was oblivious that he had no clue. "I hate to ruin your theory, but I'm sure my heart is racing much faster than that." He stepped on her slim boots once again, this time she closed her eyes pushing back the pain. He froze. "I'm sorry…told you I couldn't do this."

Turning toward him, she beamed serenely. "It doesn't really matter. The fact is you _tried_, and nobody can take that away from you."

"Yeah," he said watching behind her. "There's something else I want to try for the first time…so no matter what happens I won't look back with today with regret…"

Quistis focused her eyes on him, as her breath shortened. She could feel his tranquil hands still upon hers, but he had already taken them away. She could feel his warm touch still upon her skin.

"I just wanted to say," he looked away in discomfiture. "I just wanted to tell you…**_Galbadian Soldiers_**!"

"What?" For a split second, she was bewildered until the words registered. Hurriedly she turned around to see what he was looking at. Down the path a legion of soldiers was fast approaching, although the couple had not been spotted as of yet.

"Go and warn the others," Seifer yelled unsheathing his gunblade. "Let's try to avoid an altercation if possible. They would only send for reinforcements." Quistis nodded in agreement, as she ran into the forest using the trees as stealth covering.

"Hyne be with us all," she whispered into the gentle breeze.

* * *

The door flew open and the three men quickly turned their attentions toward the disturbance. Quistis had taken on a disconcerted look. No words were needed to be spoken. Posture and demeanor alone spoke volumes, the three SeeDs quickly moved.

"Galbadian soldiers are coming up the path. Seifer is covering us. We need to get them into the woods."

Zell folded the portable computer, and quickly tossed it into the bag Alex brought. Irvine gathered what provisions he could and made sure his weapon was loaded.

Squall's immediate, _and only_, concern was the welfare of Rinoa and Allison. Hurrying into the bedroom, he reached for the little girl playing on the floor.

"Soldiers on the way. We have to leave. **Now!**"

Rinoa quickly grabbed the baby bottle and any other items within her sight. Both the women departed the bedroom, into the main area. Squall had not once stopped to think about whom he was carrying, or his normal unease around children. This was the first time he had physical contact with Ally. Somehow, he felt an innermost desire to protect the girl…as he did her mother. No matter what was in their past, a connection had already formed.

A bond. A family.

The six swiftly exited the cottage for the final time. A place over the last few days had become a minor comfort for many. Squall continued holding Allison closely, as they followed Quistis into the dense wooded area. Seifer quickly met their position as they retreated deeper into the forest.

Irrevocably, they reached a stopping point and all lay low amongst the brush. Allison finally began to fidget. All the stimulation around her had been difficult. Her whimper was a soft murmur at first, but growing into a louder cry. The stern commander looked down to his arms and for the first time looked into her open eyes.

His heart skipped a beat; the little girl looked back at him for reassurance.

"It's okay," he whispered softly to her, placing his head next to Allison's wispy bangs. "It's going to be okay."

Rinoa felt guilt at the moment, but moreover she felt a sense of euphoria that she couldn't believe could exist. For the first time, she saw father and daughter together…for the first time she saw _her_ family. Reaching for her daughter, Squall reluctantly released his grasp.

Earlier in the day, Rinoa had managed to put all the information she recalled into a digital journal. Dates, places, times and feelings…everything she would want passed on. The women had been borrowed the computer without telling the others why…they would find out soon enough. Rinoa reached into her pocket along with a small pen. Balancing Ally on one hip, she scribbled on something. Reaching her trembling hand out to Squall, their eyes met. Holding her tears at bay, she placed the article into his hands. She allowed herself the luxury of hanging on just one more second, to feel his touch one last moment.

When she retracted her hand, the sullen man looked down. The SeeD commander now noticed it was a picture of a newborn infant…_Allison_.

"If anything happens to me, make sure Ally reads this."

The thought was a knife slowly ripping his chest open. He could barely maintain his emotions, but knew there was no choice. He nodded reluctantly at the request, placing the photograph in his pants pocket.

"Thank you." She smiled tenderly. "Thank you."

In the forest, the soldier's hollers could be heard and the yelling grew louder. It was obvious that their location was blown; the search parties were now gathering in the communication tower area.

Squall turned toward Rinoa, touching her cheek gently with his palm. "I'm here with you."

"I know," was all she replied.

Their thoughts interrupted by abrupt gunfire. Allison no longer was quiet, the explosions scaring her out of whatever peace she had found. They could hear people approaching. The look among the group turned to that of concern. Squall and Seifer looked at each other with a mutual understanding. And for the first time, a mutual respect.

"It's inevitable," Seifer rejoined.

"I know." Squall signaled for everyone to ready for battle. As the brush rustled, they could distinguish a figure approaching rapidly. Squall stood up ready to attack…

"Ahhhhhh!" screamed the soldier in fear as Lionheart grew nearer to the jugular.

"Shit!" Seifer yelled as Squall narrowly halted his attack.

Selphie gulped as Squall drove his gunblade into the soft earth.

"Hiya guys…we're here."

* * *

The reunion was short but gratifying. The SeeDs on the Ragnarok were easily able to hold of any attack by the few Galbadian troops. The ship had more firepower than a group of a dozen soldiers with only an arsenal of hand weapons. The group quickly boarded, the take off was haste. Once aboard, briefing was done and the assembly found themselves in the forward cabin of the spacecraft.

Squall had not spoken any further to Rinoa, since the exchange in the woodland. Nor had he held Allison again…yet something kept drawing him to the child, a feeling, an emotion something not explainable. As the little girl tried to walk around the seating area, she kept falling due to sporadic turbulence they would encounter. Out of frustration she began to crawl…right over to Zell. Squall watched as the martial artist picked up the girl. He had an unmistakable way with people, especially with children.

When emotions in Squall became too much to bare, he excused himself to the cockpit. Seifer and Quistis managed to stay there, along with Irvine and Selphie.

Not as if the ex-knight felt welcome aboard anywhere on the ship…but he knew exactly where they _weren't wanted._

The voyage would be a relatively short one, docking with Garden would be before nightfall. The only sounds in the cabin remained that of Ally. She spoke to Zell in a language completely unique, but he nodded in agreement. With that, the little girl seemed satisfied and slowly started to close her eyes against his chest. The two girls exchanged looks…Alex then signaled to Rinoa, who quickly pointed to the doorway. Both excused themselves from Zell.

"You think Zell can really handle Ally?" Alexandra walked beside her friend down the desolate metallic hallway.

Rinoa stifled a laugh. "Yes, he has experience with children. Plus we're on a spacecraft how much damage can he do?"

The two girls glanced at each before giggling openly. "Okay, okay," Rinoa admitted, "not the best scenario. I'm sure if there is damage to be done, he'll find it. But honestly, I do trust him with Allison…he's been through a lot the last couple years."

The older girl put her hand on Rinoa's shoulder, with a sisterly gaze. "We all have. I don't recall a time that I have ever seen you amused, albeit just a little. I know what ever lies ahead of us, we can get through together…as a family."

"Oh Hyne, you sound like Laguna." Rinoa rolled her eyes as they continued down the corridor. "If you get a leg cramp, I'm leaving."

"What?" queried the elder. Rinoa paused for a moment as they reached the maintenance bay doors.

Sighing she pushed strands of brunette hair behind her ears. "Never mind, that was a lifetime ago."

Alex reached the furthest most doors of the Ragnarok. As she was about open the control panel, she noticed a familiar scent. Rinoa was still several meters behind her.

"Hey Rin, would it be possible…um…I just would like some time to think."

The other girl smiled in understanding. "Yeah, no problem, I completely understand. Plus, now you have me a little concerned about Zell and Allison. I'm not sure who would be a worse influence on whom."

Truthfully, Rinoa wasn't worried. She recognized that Alex was going through a complicated transition, just as the others. The two girls looked at one another in mutual understanding, and then Rinoa headed off towards the passenger compartments.

Alex watched as Rinoa disappeared through the far doors. When they had completely sealed, Alexandra opened the entrance in front of her.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you smoking was bad for you Mr. Leonhart?"

His stony gaze met hers, but he said nothing.

"You know, Rinoa would have been pissed if she'd found you back here. Trust me, I know how temperamental she can be…I had to live with her through her mood swings."

Alex meant the last comment lighthearted, but Squall took it as anything but. Tossing the cigarette onto the floor, he smashed it into oblivion. Never looking up at the person in his line of sight, he brushed passed to the main corridor.

"Whatever." Disgust within his tone.

She could see the hurt in his features, even if others could not. For so long Rinoa had talked about him, whether in anger or love, Alex felt she knew Squall personally. His cold exterior to those around only hid the pain. The constant reminder of his failures could lead him down a self-destructive path…only Rinoa could save him.

"Squall…look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. I realize that it hurts to know what she went through. No matter how hard you try, you can't change the past. But you can control the future. Don't throw it away."

Stopping, the commander looked back at the woman before him. The dim lighting in the room gave her a softer look. For the first time he actually noticed the resemblance not only in appearance, but also in heart.

"You look like her."

"Rinoa?" she questioned.

"Ellone."

"Oh." Her expression changed to one of melancholy, even Squall could tell the complexity of the subject. "I never knew her…never even saw a photograph. But I hear her. She's still among us…in spirit anyway."

To this, he didn't answer.

Some subjects were still hard to speak of, Ellone being one of them. He resented himself, in that moment, for even introducing the subject. The hurt of all the years still weighed heavily on his heart and mind. Some issues couldn't be put to rest; some goodbyes could never come.

Even now, the subject was too difficult to broach.

"Look Squall, I didn't mean to…oh never mind. I'm just worried about Rinoa. Right now, she needs you, more than she will ever know. The next couple of days are going to be more difficult than anyone could possibly imagine. Love and trust will be tested…_just remember that she loves you_."

The words echoed through his head…the same words that Ellone spoke. For some reason the attack on Garden flashed through his memories…_the blood, the chaos, the death_.

And Rinoa ran.

For the first time in a couple days, his mind fixated on that one topic. Early it had not bothered him, but now it was at the forefront of his mind.

"Will she put her life first again this time?" he spoke bitterly. Even as the words came out, he couldn't believe he was saying them. Even after the events of the last days, the first link in the chain remained a mystery.

"When was the last time Rinoa ever put her life first?" Alex countered in irritation.

"Excuse me? I seem to recall a time about two years ago when she put _her_ life before anyone else at Garden."

The apprehension was short, Alex had done it self-consciously. A slight look away…a moment's hesitation. One moment she wished could be taken back. In that instant, a revelation hit Squall. Even though the first thought wasn't correct, it was a path that would bring the truth to light.

For the first time, there was something he had not seen. An answer.

"She…she wasn't protecting _herself_ was she?"

Immediately the defensive shield went up. "Yes, she _was_ protecting herself."

Squall looked away, scratching the back of his head. "No…that actually makes sense. Rinoa left to protect…someone else. She knew something that we didn't."

Taking a step toward Alex, he looked her directly in the eye. A gaze that so many before had been scared of, and had cowered to, yet Alex held her ground.

"I don't know _what_ she knew," she replied mockingly. "Maybe you should _ask_ her."

"There is something that you're not telling me…that she's not telling me." Moving away, he inwardly tried to come up with any logical conclusion. Leaning against the cargo bay wall, he rubbed the bridge of his nose. Trying to figure what could have possibly been concealed. The piece of the puzzle that he had overlooked for so long.

Alex grew tired of the conversation, or lack there of, and started to leave. When she moved, the band around her necklace reflected the iridescent light, drawing Squall's attention to the chain. Quickly he spun from his position grabbing her arm forcefully.

"Excuse me? What the hell do you think you are doing?"

"That," he pointed to the golden ring around her neck. "Tell me before you leave…how you ended up with _that_ ring."

"It was a present from Rinoa." It wasn't a lie, just not the complete truth.

"How did she get it? She sold mine for Gil in Trabia."

"Yes Squall, she did. Really, it's no big deal. When she first arrived in Trabia, she needed food and a place for them to stay. So she sold the ring and her mothers…later I found her sketching this lion-type thing. Soon as I walked in the room, she hid it. I later found the sketch, and had a jeweler recreated it for Rinoa. I never realized the original was platinum, not gold…so that's why the difference. When I left, she wanted to give me something to remember her by…so she gave me the ring for luck. It was the only thing that Bennett had not given to her, the only thing she could truly call her own. That's it, end of story. She gave me the ring for luck."

Alex took Squall's gloved hand off her arm in disgust. "Now I just want to get back to main area. I need sleep." Her shoes clicking on the metallic grated floor were the only sounds echoing in the bay. Squall continued watching her, as she grew further away; replaying the conversation in his head…then something hit him.

He yelled as he strode toward the figure leaving, that refused to acknowledge the man behind her.

"You said _them_…damn it… you said '_a place for them to stay_.' Who in the hell was _them_? Who was with Rinoa?"

Alex froze mid-step. Shit. Squall approached her and spun her around face to face.

"Who the hell is _them_ Alex?"

She opened her mouth to speak, if only something would come out. She had not lied up to this point, nor did she ever have that intent… Okay omitting and stretching the truth…_yes_. Lying _no_.

"I misspoke Squall. It was only Rinoa."

"If it was only her, you wouldn't have stopped…you realized your mistake."

"Did I?"

"I know your type. Years of training, I can tell when someone is lying. You're lying."

"Okay Commander Leonhart, if you're so _wonderful_…tell me what I meant. I'm telling you Rinoa was alone." Self-consciously Alex reached for the ring around her neck, a habit picked up from watching Rinoa so many times prior.

Suddenly Rinoa's words from the cabin rang in his mind, "_If something happens to me give the ring to Alex, she will know what to do with it_."

At that instant, Squall reached his hand up to the silver band around his neck.

"If something happens to Rinoa…what are you to do with_ this_ ring?" He gestured to the one between his leathered fingers.

"What?" she questioned, feeling more cornered by the moment.

"What are you going to do with this ring?" his voice raised. The anger in his eyes betrayed his calm exterior.

"I'm just to make sure that Allison gets it when she's older."

"Allison," he replied nodding his head gradually.

"_What do you think of Allison for a girl or Aaron for a boy_?" Rinoa's voice echoed in his head. As if someone was playing a tape of his life for him to hear.

"A few minutes ago, you said that I should have been with her during her mood swings…" Squall looked back at Alex who was acting uncharacteristically nervous.

His mind recalled the words Quistis had spoken about the day of the attack, "_Frankly, she had been such a complete bitch the last two weeks; I personally wondered what the problem really was. In fact, I was not alone. Both Selphie and Zell had noticed the dramatic change._"

Squall closed his eyes, trying to envision the scene, and that day's eventual outcome. "Rinoa ran. Rinoa ran. Why?" Finally, he muttered under his breath, verbalizing his thoughts. "Ellone…warned her of something…"

"_It was only for around thirty seconds Rinoa lay unconscious; she woke up startled, looking directly at Elle. Sis opened her eyes for the last time and glanced to Rinoa. He loves you and always will._"

Something had shocked Rinoa. By Quistis own accounts of that day…something shocked and confused her. She learned something. Something scared her.

"Her own safety was never the issue," he silently mouthed.

Reaching in his pocket, he pulled out the photograph Rinoa had scribbled on earlier. Flipping it over, he studied it… _ARE517_… A password?

For once in his life, he was no longer thinking inside. Instead, he was saying aloud, working the puzzle verbally. Maybe it was for his benefit, maybe it was for Alexandra's… If he hit on something, her reactions could give him clues. "Rinoa always used her initials as her password, back at Garden. _ARE…__Allison…__Elizabeth_ What is the R?"

In that moment, Alex looked down at in defeat. Her second's hesitation had led him to this point. She would inevitably be responsible. Plus, she was just tired. Tired from the days on the run, and tired of the hiding. Tired of the life she was trying to escape. The dreams, the nightmares…and right now…tired of keeping the truth.

"It's not a _what_ Squall…it's a _who_. Raine…the _R_ stands for Raine."

"_Raine_," he spoke softly looking back at the paper. "5-17… Five…five…May 17th… no, Allison's Birthday was the seventeenth of July."

Alex closed her eyes as she inhaled deeply, before releasing trying to calm her nerves. Finally, she spoke the only words she could.

The truth.

"Allison was born in May. She is sixteen months old, not fourteen…Elizabeth - Julia's middle name…_Allison Raine Elizabeth_…that's her full name."

"O_ur_ parent's names," he murmured covering his hand in revelation. With tears forming at the very corner of his eyes and a heart that couldn't stop beating…he finally said the words aloud. The words he wished could have been true from the first moment.

"_Our_ daughters name."

* * *

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Five: Militancy **

"_Our_ daughters name." He stood breathless.

Alex closed her eyes turning away. She wanted to leave, but knew Squall would just stop her. For so long, she had been the only person Rinoa had to talk with, now she was the one who betrayed the secret. To tell Irvine and Zell was one thing, to tell Squall quite another. Rinoa should have been the one to tell him, she would have told him…_eventually_.

Time was an irrelevant factor now, what had to be dealt with was the problem at hand…specifically, the thunderstruck man standing in front of her. Maybe if he had said _somethin_g…given any kind of reaction further then his initial comments, but it was silence… And silence was killing her.

His mind was racing with a thousand questions a second…_how, when, why_? How had he not known two years ago at Garden? How could he have not known when he first saw Allison? When did she know? When was she going to tell him? Why….

_Why?_

Why after everything they had gone through in their young lives, had destiny been so cruel? Was Hyne such a malicious god that she could allow this to happen? Why would fate bring them together - just to have them torn apart?

And why, _why _did Rinoa not tell him…

Was her faith lost and her spirit broken to such a degree that she could no longer trust him? Had their past meant nothing, her love for him in doubt?

She left him.

No matter the cause or outcome, the fact remained the same, she fucking left him. Would doubts of innocence ever been questioned had Rinoa returned after the attack? Did she have such little faith in him? She didn't contact him after running away...

He waited, damn her, he waited…_she_ wasn't there.

"Squall," coaxed Alex. "Please say something."

"Tell me," speaking a growl-like rasp. "Tell me that Allison is my daughter. I want to hear it from you. I want to hear those words."

Although his heart never needed the confirmation, his logical mind did. But it was the answer that Alex gave that sealed the question, or any lingering doubt in his mind….

"Squall, I'm not the one who should be saying _that_. I can't. Please, talk to Rinoa."

"You're damn right. Believe me…I'm going to talk to her. How could she?"

"How could she! Don't you even dare say something like that to her. After everything that's happened, what she went through…don't you dare harm her in any way. She'll do anything to protect Allison… If you start acting like that, _she will leave_. As much as she loves you, and by gods, she does love you, she will leave… Not to hurt you, not because she wants to, just because she has been hurt too many times and she will not let Allison go through the same hell. I know you're angry now, but nothing has changed Squall. She and Allison need you as their knight…._mind, body and spirit_. Don't say something you would regret. She's still volatile, you don't know what Bennett did to her…you could never imagine. Four days with you cannot undo the two years of torture, remember that."

Alex grabbed the small Griever ring around her neck, pulling slightly on the chain. Squall said nothing, only stared past her, eyes betrayed no emotion.

"Please Squall, if Ellone was here right now she would want you to calm down before talking to Rinoa. Put yourself in her place, and think about what she went through."

"Right…if_ Ellone where here_," he sharply replied. "But she's not. And trust me, you're no Ellone."

"I know," she bitterly stated. "And you're no Laguna, so don't make _his_ mistakes."

* * *

As the evening turned to night, Ragnarok docked with Balamb Garden. Alex returned to the crew quarters, without as much as a word to Rinoa about the incident. The truth was _they _were going to have to deal with this, themselves.

As they always should have.

When she left him, Squall spoke not another word after the last comment. Turning his back, he headed to where Alex originally found him.

Rinoa sat on one of the chairs looking out into the distant horizon. Zell and Allison crawled together on the floor. Irvine had come down from the bridge, and now watching the intense game of _hide-and-seek_ being played by the two 'youngsters' of the group. Alex sat down on a chair next to Rinoa, watching the martial artist maneuver around the seats, but never letting the little girl out of his sight.

"Rinoa, he seems really good with her." Alex acknowledged not meaning anything by it, just for the fact of small talk.

"Yeah, he has always been good with the junior cadets. I just wish Squall…"

"What? Was good with children? Don't even say it Rin. Some people aren't naturally comfortable with kids…nor are they even good around them. However, when it's your own child, you learn…and then you come to appreciate other things you might have missed. Sometimes after you have a child, it changes your outlook...some things aren't natural for everyone… Some things become natural after the fear is gone."

"I know…sorry. I just can't picture Squall down on the floor with Ally like that."

"Rinoa, he has never had the chance. People can surprise you. _Squall_ can surprise you. Maybe he will never crawl on the floor, but being there for the first tooth is just as important."

"Alex, she already has teeth."

"Yeah, fine…being there when she loses her first tooth can be just important. Or…being there for her first day of school, or her first date, or when she gets married…"

"I get it! Please she's just a baby. I don't need to think about her getting _married_. I can just picture her going on a date and Squall scaring the poor boy to death…"

"Exactly." Alex moved her hand over to Rinoa's. "He loves you. He loves her…maybe he just isn't ready to admit it yet. This is all new to him. Four days ago, you were nothing but a memory. Today you are real."

"He's also married," Rinoa spoke quietly for only Alex to hear.

"Rinoa he is only married on paper. There are more important things…like the bond you two share. Plus, I'm pretty sure that his wife is interested in that other guy."

"Seifer?" Rinoa looked at her friend with bewilderment.

"Um…yeah…him…not that the others like him too much though."

"Well, he kinda was my ex-boyfriend and then he was the one who tried to sacrifice me to Adel."

"Damn Rinoa, you sure pick winners."

"Yeah, I do." She couldn't help the laughter.

The giggles were cut short when a little hand reached to Rinoa's knee. "_Ma'ma_?"

"Yes, Ally you okay?"

"_Ell…my baba_." The little girl pointed to the blonde man hiding behind the chair.

"Zell, did you steal her bottle? Don't make me separate you two."

He quickly jumped to his own defense. "She started it!"

"Yes, Zell blame the baby. Now if you guys are good, I'll give you each a gram cracker. But you have to play nice." Rinoa handed her daughter two crackers; Ally waddled over to her new friend sharing the reward.

"Rinoa," Squall spoke in an official manner. "We have been given the all-clear to go aboard Garden. They are expecting you three in the infirmary. Dr. Kadowaki wants to get medical records for Garden's database. I have an appointment with Cid regarding the current situation… I don't know how long I'll be. Don't expect me back tonight."

"Back where?" Rinoa questioned.

"Back…to wherever you are. I just need to get some things sorted out. I'll be in my office…Zell will be with you and Alex for the evening. You'll be protected by people I can trust at all times."

Alex turned her head away from the two. Zell caught the expression on her face and quickly released that she was hiding something…then he remembered how long Alex had been gone from them. He grabbed the little girl finding a seat and motioned slightly with his head toward Ally. Alexandra nodded in confirmation.

Squall knew about Allison.

"Irvine, you will be coming with me, Cid needs to hear your report also. According to Galbadia, Garden is now housing wanted criminals… We have to get the facts together…funny how things can appear if one doesn't have enough _courage_ to come back and get the _facts straight_."

Alex bit her lip trying to hold her comments to herself, as she and Zell exchanged quick glances. Luckily, Rinoa was putting Allison's belongs away and only was half-listening to Squall's speech. There was now an awkward silence between everyone, save for Allison.

"_Ma'ma__…night-night_?"

Squall walked over to Zell looking down at the child in his lap. Staring at her eyes, _his eyes_…somehow, the truth seemed painfully obvious now. For a moment, he couldn't focus on anything but his daughter…

The little girl held out her gram cracker in an offer to share. "_You?_" she asked with innocence.

"Me? Um…No that's yours, but thank you."

"_You?_" The toddler looked at him, crumbs falling onto the floor.

Squall looked confused for a moment; one of the rare occasions where bystanders could tell he was truly caught off guard. Alex turned to Rinoa with a look of "_I told you so_" as the two continued the jumbled dialog.

"Me?" the commander questioned yet again.

"_You?_" The child pointed her arm in his direction. "_Who?_"

"Oh," he finally understood. He bent down to her level, kneeling on the floor. "I'm Squall Leonhart Commander of…um…I'm Squall."

"_Skall_?"

"Yeah…_Skall_," he repeated. "I'm a friend of your mother's."

"_Ma'ma_?" The little girl pointed to Rinoa. "_Where Dada?_"

Nobody in the room could breathe, and Rinoa felt her heart sink and tried to keep from crying in front of everyone. Squall almost wanted to shout out that he was right there standing in front of her…but the only father that she had ever known was Richard Bennett.

Slowly he reached his hand out to touch her cheek. "He um…Dada's not here right now, but he still loves you. He wants Mama and you to stay with me for awhile."

"_Skall_" Ally pointed and smiled as she said his name.

"Yeah, Dada wants you to stay with _Skall_ for awhile. He doesn't want anything to happen to you. He wants me to protect you and Mommy."

The little girl nibbled on her cracker until it was nothing but a small piece left. She looked at Squall who seemed to be nervous. Once again, she handed the last bite of her cracker to him. He sighed and reached down for it…and ate the last bite of the cracker.

"Thank you Allison…thank you."

Standing up, he didn't want anyone speaking to him right now. Somehow, the emotion he felt would betray his feelings…in such a short period of time, his life had changed in the most dramatic of ways. Five days ago, he had no reason for living, now he had every reason not to die.

Family.

Somehow, the anger of Rinoa's deception kept him from letting his guard down. Right now, he just needed to be by himself; he needed time to think about the latest information. But most of all, he needed to calm down before talking to Rinoa. Alex was right, her state of mind was very fragile. She would tell him the truth…he knew that she would tell him.

* * *

She watched as the flashing lights on the control panels formed a memorizing pattern. They had landed almost fifteen minutes ago, but she remained in the cockpit. Selphie had left with a cordial goodbye, but not the same enthusiasm as before… She could tell it was hard for her closest of friends to accept; what would the others at Garden think?

"Gil for your thoughts?" A masculine voice said from behind her.

Smoothing out her clothes, she stood. "Seifer, only you would use a cliché like that."

"Nah, I'm serious." He pretended to show her empty pockets. "I really need a couple Gil. It's late and I need something out of the snack machine."

She smiled slightly. "Cafeteria should still be open. I'm sure you can grab something down there."

"Oh yeah right…send the wanted criminal into a cafeteria full of hungry SeeDs. You might as well put a sign that says '_Kick the Lapdog's Ass_' on my back."

"Well," she hesitated. "Honestly I would…but Zell already did that three hours ago."

Offering his hand to her, he took a step closer. "If it makes you feel better Quistis, I don't want to go out there either."

"Think they will notice if we spend the rest of our remaining lives in the Ragnarok?"

"Trust me, I would love to…but Leonhart is making me go see the doctor. I guess they are afraid that I picked up something, maybe give me a rabies test or something."

"Seifer, it is standard procedure for all guests of Garden to give a full medical account…at least anyone staying over a significant period time."

"Yeah, I think _ten to twenty_ qualifies."

"You're worried about that, aren't you?"

"I try not to think about it. I've just never one that looks good in stripes…they make my hips look big."

Quistis looked down to the floor, before gathering her breath. "Seifer, you are doing it again. You're trying to hide feelings with your sarcasm. I just never saw it before…well I saw it... but I chose to ignore it."

"You had other things on your mind…_I know_. It's ironic how it always comes back to Squall."

Releasing his hand, Quistis sat down in the pilot's chair. "Back to Squall," she repeated. "Seifer, I don't have anywhere to go."

"What?" He scratched his head at the sudden turn of the conversation.

"I don't have a home anymore…not that it was ever a home. _The apartment_. I just don't have a room at Garden. Been there most of my life, but I don't have a home."

"Now it's my turn to tell you to _stop it_. Quistis it has always been your home. Maybe right now you don't have a bed to sleep in, but it's a place you feel safe. The people there have always accepted you, always looked up to you. Nobody knows the truth but us, and in time they will learn to forgive. I'm not saying they can forget… Hell, no one will ever forget what I have done…but these are your friends and family. They will love you no matter what and…and…I suck at this _nice_ thing."

"No, you don't. I think you are doing it rather well. Make you a deal, after you are done in the infirmary we go to the cafeteria together. Then I don't have to lend you any Gil…but I'll still tell you my thoughts."

"Ohhh…thoughts? Any involve whip cream?"

"Seifer!"

"Okay, okay…only kidding. You got yourself a date…in the cafeteria."

* * *

The meeting with the Headmaster was the military norm…briefings, debriefings and endless paperwork. Irvine, Lauren, Squall, and Cid sat in the small conference room. While the commander's mind seemed to be focused on the events at hand, his heart was focused on Allison. Somehow the feeling he had been the one betrayed, kept entering his mind. It was a thought he wished to God he could shake, but somehow it held on. He needed to talk to Rinoa, now. He needed to hear the words from her.

"Squall?" Lauren looked at him as the other two men had left for a coffee break.

"What?" He looked around noticing it was just them in the room.

"They dismissed you on break. Can I get you anything?"

"No."

"Hey, it's none of my business, but you don't seem to be the most productive member of society in here. I've worked for you for a while now and never have seen you like this. I'm sure anything could wait until tomorrow morning if you want to leave and go talk with…"

"You're right, it's none of your business."

"Sorry sir."

Looking over he could tell Lauren felt very uncomfortable about confronting him like that. She had worked for him and never said anything other then what needed to be said. She pretended to be working, but he could see her sketching on her notepad.

"You could at least pretend to be working." He said motioning to her book.

"Sorry sir, nervous habit I have."

Standing up he walked toward her, looking down at the paper. "Well, I don't want to see you do it again on my time. But…it looks like something you are very good at."

"Sir?"

"You're sketches are very good. Is that a GF?"

"No, actually it's my family crest…when I first transferred from Galbadia my father gave me photographs of my grandfather. From what I could tell, this is the creature on the shields."

"Your family is very important to you, aren't they?"

"Yes Commander Leonhart."

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Anything sir."

"Tell the others that I have to go, something came up…something more important."

* * *

The room was surprisingly dark. Rinoa threw her belongings over the chair. Garden had given her a guest suite, with two bedrooms. Alex had been cleared earlier by the doctor and taken Allison back to the shared room. The nursing staff had a thousand questions for Rinoa, and then a thousand more from Dr. Kadowaki.

When the question would inevitable come up about the fathers name…Rinoa wasn't sure what to say. But she didn't have to, somehow the doctor knew. The question was never asked directly. The information was now in the Garden database, for pretty much anyone to see. Yet, she hadn't told Squall.

Zell had escorted her back to the room; where he remained posted outside until Irvine would take the next watch.

Figuring Alex had already gone to sleep, she desperately wanted to talk with somebody. Rinoa paced the room for a moment, before opening the drapes slightly. The full moon looked ghostly outside as the fog drifted up from the water below, thus giving the illuminated half of the room an ambiance of revelation, while the other remained a shadowed void. A rush of anxiety washed across her, until the gentle sounds of Allison chatting in the background were heard.

It was a language the infant alone could comprehend, but every day Rinoa was breaking the dialog. Deciphering the code of a sixteen-month old child had become second nature. Words and syllables grew more recognizable with every conversation that passed between them. It was something that was _theirs_, a language shared between two…between mother and daughter.

Allison defiantly had a vocabulary. At last, the word "Squall" would be among it.

Deciding not to turn on the overhead light, Rinoa walked into the kitchenette. The light from above the sink would be more than adequate.

"I waited for you in the flower field."

Rinoa jumped not expecting anyone to be awake, let alone speak. Somehow, the tense feeling did not subside after she recognized the voice. If fact, it increased. Her body was almost parallelized, yet she didn't know why… Why was he here? Turning toward the corner, she could barely recognize the silhouette of the human form.

"Squall, what are you doing here?"

He didn't answer.

"Squall…"

"You know, I actually waited in the flower field for you? After Deling. I thought maybe…just maybe…but…no."

The voice. The statement. Something was wrong. From the time they had met up three days ago, he had almost never taken the offensive position on anything. He was now. She didn't need to read his eyes, for once his voice was showing the emotion that he tried hard to conceal.

"How? How was I supposed to get there Squall…and why? You had already branded me a murder," she pleaded trying to remain strong. Though she stood firmly on the position now, in hindsight Rinoa wished she gone to their place. The option never presented itself at the time. "I saw you up there in Deling Squall…don't forget _I saw you._ As much as I would have wanted to go…I couldn't risk it."

"Why? Why couldn't you risk it Rinoa?" It wasn't truly a question, almost a dare. She immediately took a defensive position. He would not faze her. She was right back then.

He was wrong.

"You would have turned me in…damn it Squall, _I saw you_."

"_Could_," he corrected her. "_Could_ have turned you in. I would have listened if you had given me the chance. But you didn't. Again…I'm asking you _why_."

"Why? Why in the hell would I risk…my life on a chance Squall? I couldn't risk it." The anger in her voice was beginning to deceive her. After everything he knew about her life…he had no right.

"We promised."

She gasped to keep the tears from coming…she was right damn him. But…he was right too…_they had promised_. Things changed.

"_You_ broke the promise. You promised to protect me, _my knight_, you promised to stand by me no matter what. You didn't stand by me. _You_ lied."

"It wasn't worth the risk to talk to me? You chose not to speak to me. I had no other choice but believe you guilty. You ran…_you betrayed me_."

"What? I told you Squall, Ellone told me that I would die if I stayed. I had to leave, it wasn't my choice."

"Nobody can predict the future…those were your words. Even you knew that Ellone couldn't see the future. Only what _might_ have been…but you ran. I find it strange that you had been willing to put your life on the line so many times before. Yet, you didn't stay and defend us, _your supposed family_. Why Rinoa? Why was this time so different?"

"I didn't want to die!" she spat back at him growing more and more frustrated by the tone and line of questioning. She turned from him, no longer looking into the darkened corner. Slowly she walked toward the window trying to regain composure. For the first time she heard him move, the eerie stillness of the corner had been broken. Squall stood from the chair walking slowly toward her, yet keeping his distance.

"Why?" It was a demand. Plain. Simple.

Turning around to face him, she could see his eyes for the first time. The eyes she knew beyond a doubt. They deceived his words. Containing not the tone his voice was speaking, yet they were filled with….

Before Rinoa could think the words she wanted to say, something deep within took over.

"Because it wasn't _my_ life." She could no longer endure the burden of the lie. Sitting on the couch, she held her stomach tight as the tears now freely fell down her face. This time it was a whisper. "Squall, because it wasn't _my_ life."

For a moment, he just looked at her as the moonlight reflected off her tear-stained cheeks. His heart could no longer bear the torture she was putting herself through. That _he_ was putting her through. Sitting down next to her, his voice slowly broke the harsh tones. He reached his trembling hand on hers. The contact gave them both the courage to go on.

"Whose life was it Rinoa?" he whispered. Putting his hand on her cheek, he carefully wiped the tears from her face.

She looked up at him, leaning her face into his gentle touch. Their eyes locked before she finally spoke.

"_Our_ baby's."

* * *

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Six: Dissonance **

She wiped her tears and stood up, illuminated only by the soft moonlight. Silently she offered her hand. Squall reached out to meet the gesture, both shivering. Trembling in a nervousness neither could explain…maybe it was the moment, maybe it was the emotion, or maybe it was for the first time they could look at each other with honesty. No more secrets between them; no more lies to separate their souls.

Her dark hair tangled and in knots. The two harsh years were taking their toll on her features, yet she remained the most beautiful angel in his sight. As slim fingers grabbed his hand, she walked him into the dark recesses of the room. He said nothing, letting her lead. She opened a door that had been ajar, allowing his vision to focus on the sleeping child inside.

Allison lay in a portable crib that Garden had for such occasions. Guests and visitors would often travel with children, thus certain provisions were made. Never in his wildest dreams when Squall had made the purchase request years ago had he ever thought his daughter would be using it. Her little hands securely wrapped around the blankets edge. Small fingers were slowly moving back and forth, letting the satin material sooth her to sleep. Breathing rhythmically, her deep even gasps illustrated the sound sleep she had fallen into. Rinoa carefully reached down, wrapping the blanket around the resting infant.

"Squall Leonhart let me officially introduce you to your daughter…Allison Raine Elizabeth."

The commander stood soundless, unsure how of how to express emotion. For so long everything had been buried deep inside and now in such a minuscule period, life had been reborn. Instinctively he reached his arms out as Rinoa placed the sleeping child within his grasp. Ally fidgeted for a moment, opening up one eye she looked at the man holding her, and then quietly returned to slumber.

"Hello Allison," his voice cracked breaking the dark.

Minutes passed as neither wanted to speak, only wanted to enjoy the moments together. _A family_. For the first time in their lives…they were a family.

"Squall, do you ever think back to the old days?"

"Everyday," he whispered never taking his eyes off his daughter.

"Alex said something in Dollet that bothered me. At first I thought she was completely wrong, but after thinking about what she truly meant…well…"

"Well…_what_?" He had not meant to sound harsh, yet he couldn't help the tone in his voice.

"The last two years have been a nightmare for both of us. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to give up, but Allison kept me going. _Our daughter_…" Rinoa reached her hand down to touch the little girl's cheek. At the contact, she snuggled closer to Squall's masculine chest. She wasn't sure how to relate the words she was feeling, but was going to try. Closing her eyes, Rinoa inhaled deeply before she asked the next question. A question she, herself, could barely understand. "Squall, do you ever think that what happened was for the best?"

He instantly froze. His arms tightened slightly around his daughter, she moved at the sudden change of pressure. When Allison settled down again, Squall continued in silence for a moment, trying to keep his anger in check. For the first time he looked up at the woman next to him, her eyes pleading for understanding.

Trying to keep his voice from waking Ally, he could not help the irritation. "How in the hell can you even say that, Rinoa?"

She chucked slightly, "Yeah that was my first reaction also:_ too angry to reason_." Rinoa continued to laugh inaudibly, not that the situation remotely humorous, but for the fact that she had already gone through every conceivable emotion. Humor seemed to be the only thing left.

Narrowing his eyes at her reaction, he demanded, "What is there to reason?"

She smiled softly at him, her features enhanced by the natural moonlight. There was a peaceful, tranquil aura around her, which even calmed his mood. "Okay Squall…think back to two years ago. Not how you are feeling right now, but to the person you were back then. The people _we_ were back then."

"Yeah…so your point is?"

"Don't answer me as Squall Leonhart twenty-two-year-old, but as the person just out of their teens. Remember that Squall Leonhart…okay…say I walked in to your office and told you I was pregnant… How would you have reacted?" She raised her eyebrow at him smiling; he couldn't keep his gaze on her. Somehow, she knew he wouldn't have to think hard to remember that person, as he had never truly lost him.

Glancing back down at Allison, Squall answered the best he could. "I would have been…well shocked."

"_Truthfully_ Squall." Placing a hand on his bare arm, her warm touch reassured him that she was really there. He was going to do his best to understand, even if he didn't like the answer.

"Rinoa…I would have been angry. You hinted more times than I care to remember about getting married… I guess looking back to myself then, the thought you had done it _intentionally_ would have entered my mind. But I know both of us believed you couldn't conceive. The situation would have been…well…_overwhelming_."

"So, Squall what _would_ you have done? Not as commander, but as my boyfriend."

His mind answered the question before the words came out of his mouth. There was only one thing he would have done. "I would have married you…so…well, it would have been easier in that case if we did marry."

"Right Squall, you would have married me…I have no doubt. But, did you want to get married? Squall don't answer me as you are now…truly think back."

There was only one answer. "No, Rinoa I wasn't ready then…not even for _you_ to be my wife."

"You still would have done the honorable thing by marrying me. Honestly, I would have been thrilled to be Mrs. Leonhart any way possible. My attitude would be that you would grow to the marriage, but…."

"I would have grown to resent it after time." He answered honestly…the same situation he found himself in as a reality today. The resentment toward Quistis…

"Exactly."

She was right. Had Rinoa been his wife now, and not Quistis, would the situation have changed for the better? Both marriages would have felt forced, a commitment he wasn't ready to make. No matter the spouse, it was he _himself_ whom was not ready for the act. His heart was too young, and his mind was too lost. It took time to understand what was important, and it took time to admit that to himself. But the pain, the agony…the betrayal, how could it have been worth the price?

Finally he spoke, "That doesn't negate everything horrible that happened."

"Squall…would you want me to be your wife _right now_? Answer as the person standing in front of me today."

He looked into her soul. "Yes. I love you with all my heart."

"Squall, I love you too, more than you could possibly comprehend. That is why I don't want to be your wife."

"What?"

"Squall, if given the chance _right now_…I wouldn't want to be _Mrs. Leonhart_. Because I have learned something…it doesn't matter what the hell my name is…whether it is Renee Bennett, Rinoa Heartilly, or Rinoa Leonhart. My love for you is beyond marriage, beyond physical bonds. Squall, I just want to be the person you love, with all your heart. And…_I am_. We are not bonded by martial contract…our souls, our hearts, and our spirits have bonded beyond eternity."

"We will never resent each other. We have learned of loss and betrayal…we have grown stronger because of it. It took the evil to strengthen the good." He whispered aloud looking her in the eyes.

She smiled back, knowing for the first time he understood. "The pain you suffered when you lost Ellone two years ago is not in vein. Everything _had_ to happen this way…maybe just maybe…Ellone knew this too. Maybe she told me to leave…save our unborn child …not from the soldiers, from a physical death…but from the relationship we would have been forced into… The one you didn't want, the resentment that she would have been born into. Now our daughter will know how much her parents meant to each other…the story that we shared. You can always tell her. And it will be the _truth_, not the lies she would have heard from others."

* * *

Only a few students remained roaming the halls. Recent events caused loitering to be a thing of the past. Now they were actually preparing for an all out conflict and that carried over into leisure time. Off time was concentrated on extra training and spending time with loved ones. The halls almost seemed like the streets of a ghost town, with the exception of the stray tumbleweed or coyote. But every story has its heroes and villains, not all is what it first appears.

She played with strands of flaxen hair; Quistis found herself doing this often lately. As she walked the halls, the clicking of her boot heels reminded her of the westerns that she had been forced to watch with Irvine. Sometimes she would picture herself within one of those films, but the hero was always someone else…someone that was never hers. The villains would change, as they had throughout her life, but the one thing she never figured to change was_ the hero_. No longer was the commander the person she pictured on the noble steed, but in a twist of irony, it was one she often pictured as the villain…Seifer Almasy.

Maybe he didn't fit the profile of the 'typical' hero, maybe there was something rough around the edges, but maybe that is what drew her to him…_imperfection_. Something unknown, unseen, but something that she could no longer deny was there. The emotions she felt had been foreign for so long. She caught her reflection in a darkened glass window. Quistis stopped to check her hair…not that she was vain in any sense, but for the first time in years, she actually cared what she looked like.

For an instant, she stopped and stared at the reflection in the mirror, unsure of who was staring back at her. The figure seemed older than she remembered, in her mind she was still eighteen and the world still new. Maybe the thoughts of back then were what kept her going, maybe they helped mask the pain she truly felt. Her eyes locked with the reflection, she felt a paralyzing fear. Where had her life gone? Why was she in her early twenties and feeling this lost? Had she ever truly been found?

"You know staring at the reflection won't make it change."

"Are you sure Seifer?"

"Yes, I am. Trust me I spent many hours looking at myself, trying to figure out where I went wrong. Thinking that maybe, somehow I could turn back time and make it all right again... Then I realized something…if I did that I was no better than Ultimecia."

Both stood staring at their likeness in the window. Together, two people who knew nothing of the world but had forever changed its destiny.

"Do you think Ultimecia felt this way?"

"Yes, I do," he softly replied. "Maybe I did learn something out of my experience with her; it was the pain she felt…the desire to change the past, the chance to live a life that she could never have. But I also learned something that she never did…to accept the past, live in the present, and think of the future."

"Seifer, in a million years I never thought I would be hearing something like that from you."

"Believe it, we are going to get through this and then there is only the future."

"What about you? Did you find out anything about the treason charges?"

"Well, I know that I will have to serve some time, the amount is still what is in question. In all honesty, I don't care. I can't worry about that right now…we have to worry about Mitchell and Galbadia. I can worry about me later, right now I have other people to worry about."

"Rinoa?"

"For one," he said placing his arm around her waist. "I have other people to worry about also. Now how about that dinner you promised me?"

"Dinner?" she asked watching his mirror image. "I think you were going to buy _me_ dinner." His eyes moved off the reflection and on to her.

"Fine," he replied tenderly. "But I'm still not sure about this…you don't know what I have gone through today."

She turned to him. "What?"

"Oh nothing particular…just the whispers and the comments. It's funny that I was the one who would have been doing that years ago, hell I would have been the instigator but now…"

"You're on the other end."

"Exactly. Somehow I actually felt sorry today for the way I treated Squall and Zell when I was here."

"See, I knew there was hope for you…"

Seifer interrupted her, "But mostly I feel sorry for the way I treated you. I never made it easy…I was the one whispering and starting rumors about you. What I know now is that I was always jealous of Squall…because he seemed to have everything…the talent, the respect…_you_."

"Me?"

"I think half of the reason I started the rumors about you guys was that I was jealous…_there I said it_…nobody ever saw me for who I was…so I made up a persona of who I thought everyone wanted. Turns out nobody did."

Quistis looked at the hallway leading to the cafeteria, and then back to Seifer. "I um...was given a room down in the student section. It's a single room, so what do you say we get something from the cafeteria and head back there? Then we will be with only people who see us for who we truly are…_us_."

"Instructor that sounds like the best idea you have ever had."

* * *

The warm water danced around her shoulders. Every drop seemed a welcome relief. The simple pleasures, like a hot shower, were all but forgotten in her life. As the steam engulfed her body, she could finally relax. Squall knew the truth, he knew of his daughter. More than that, he accepted her…he would be the father she wasn't sure about years ago.

After their talk, he laid down on the bed, as not to disturb the child. Rinoa slowly dismissed herself to take a shower. The time away almost killed her, but she knew that he needed these moments with Allison. The fact she was asleep was also comforting, his first moments with her would be peaceful ones. He would learn to become more comfortable with the situation.

As she turned the shower knobs, a cold chill ran down her spine. It was a sensation she couldn't comprehend. A fear started taking over and she found herself unable to breathe. Slowly she slid down the shower wall, into a corner. As the last water circled through the drain, she couldn't stop the cold feelings. She didn't cry or call for Squall, but the shivering continued to a point that scared her…she no longer felt in control.

Images entered her mind, ones she couldn't comprehend…_memories that were not hers_. Flashes, dreams, visions swirling around. For a moment, she found herself back in Dollet standing on a cliff watching the waters below. She couldn't control the movements of her own body…something else was guiding her. With a solemn leap, she dove into the rock-strewn waters below, waiting for the impact that never came. When Rinoa opened her eyes again, she was standing in Winhill watching a man with a gun to his chest. She closed her eyes as the blood splattered all around. Feeling the pain of the host body, she felt the love the person carried for the man…

Again the emotion became too much to bear and she found herself trying to hide within the recesses of her mind. Try as she did, she could not run…the fear and the images caught up with her. Swirling memories clouded her mind, a childhood that was not hers, mixed with memories that were her own. In a darkened room she stood, no windows, no doors. A far off reflection is all that she could see. As her legs struggled through the darkness, she found herself guiding toward the mirror. Suddenly she was standing looking at her own reflection. A bright flash appeared and when she could focus her eyes, she was no longer staring at her reflection. Ellone stood in the mirror looking back.

"_You must be strong. It will be your only defense. He loves you and always will."_

She reached out her hand to touch the reflection, struggling at the movements. "Ellone?" she rasped.

"_Rinoa, beware the dragon_ _sleeps among the knights."_

"Dragon? What dragon? Please tell me what you are talking about, I don't understand!"

"_You will in time, just don't let it be too late_."

"The memories I just had…they were of your childhood? Those were your parents?"

"_They were memories of all of us…all that came before you. We are bonded by our gifts and cursed by them. You must learn in order to live, you must live in order to learn…"_

"What, what are you talking about Ellone? What is going to happen?"

"_In two days I will move on, what becomes of my soul is up to fate. What becomes of you is up to destiny._"

"Don't leave me! Don't leave me!" Rinoa screamed as the image slowly returned to her own reflection. In anger, she raised her fist to the mirror. As the contact was made, shards of glass rained down into the room. She continued to scream at the mirror, which was no more than a metallic frame. The room was completely dark. Except for the pain in her hand, she felt nothing.

In the shadows, she could feel someone grabbing her body. She tried to fight off the attacker, but found she no longer had the strength. Finally, she gave in and closed her eyes, before hearing the voice that snapped her out of the trance.

When he had heard the screaming coming from the shower, he quickly laid Allison back into the crib. Before he could make it to the bathroom, Squall could here the sound of glass shattering. When he arrived, Rinoa sat in the corner of the shower. Her naked body was covered with shards of the shower doors. Her eyes were open yet she wasn't looking at him, more like through him.

Quickly he jumped in and wrapped her in a towel checking for any serious injuries. Thankfully, most of the scratches were just superficial, except for several deep cuts on her hand.

"Rinoa look at me!" he demanded. "Look at me now!"

Finally, her eyes returned to normal, the glassy orbs now replaced with her natural color. She looked confused for a moment, before grabbing him and holding on.

"Ellone…Squall, I talked to Ellone."

"What?" He looked not in disbelief, but just the opposite. Nothing in his life surprised him anymore, and this was something else he would learn to accept. "You talked to Ellone?"

Both were visibly shaken by the events. She held on tightly not wanting to let go. He pushed the wet strands of hair away from her face. Together they stood in the bathroom, neither wanting to let go. He wouldn't push her; she would talk when ready. For now, they just found the comfort with each other that had escaped them for so long.

* * *

It was something Seifer never thought he would see again, the inside of a SeeD dorm. He walked into the room and recollections came flooding back. The resentment that he had over the years had now turned into a deep form of respect. He watched as the former instructor walked silently over to the small storage closet. Quistis emerged with a woolen gray blanket. He watched mesmerized as she spread the blanket onto the floor of the dorm thereby making a picnic area.

Each movement she made seem to fascinate him more, _every breath, every sound._ Smoothing the corners of the blanket out, she glanced up at him. Noticing that he was staring directly at her, she found herself becoming nervous. She hadn't felt this way in so long, like the shy schoolgirl being caught staring at the head football player. Their eyes locked and Quistis found herself biting her lower lip, not knowing exactly what to say.

Finally, Seifer broke the stillness. "Do you need any help with that?"

"Um…no thanks. I got it," she replied timidly. "Sorry, I don't have a table or anything in here. I'm just happy that I have a place to stay right now."

"Quistis, you will always have a place to stay…you just have to know where to look."

"Uh…thanks…now where is that food we got?"

Seifer held two small brown paper sacks in his hand. He lifted them up, in a slight gesture. Walking over, Quistis took the bags from his hands and proceeded to sit down on the blanket.

"Are you waiting for an engraved invitation?"

He eyed her back, raising one eyebrow. "Maybe."

"Well, if you want food get down here. That is about as formal as I get at two in the morning."

"It's that late already? Gee the day flies by when you are running from Galbadian soldiers."

"We don't want to forget your time in the infirmary with the doctor."

Seifer got a very serious look on his face, "Oh trust me Quistis, _we_ _do_."

"That bad hmmm?" She opened her sandwich wrapper tossing to the side.

"Worse," he stated simply. She chuckled slightly. "Hey, it's not funny!" He defended his honor. It was a _complete_ physical after all…nothing funny about that.

"I'm not laughing at you…_really_."

"Oh right, you are laughing _with_ me… Yeah, I get it." Seifer looked down at his container of cottage cheese, wondering what on earth possessed him to pick it up in the first place. Hell, he hated the stuff…but it was between that or strained spinach… He went with the lesser of two evils. The cafeteria selection was at a bare minimum that time of night. Slowly he poked his fork around the cottage cheese, pushing it from one side to another.

Looking up, he noticed Quistis trying to contain her laughter. Her face was turning a light shade of crimson as she was maintaining her proper demeanor. He put some food on his fork with every intention of eating it. But when she broke out into a full-blown laughter, he couldn't help his next action. Without warning, he took the fork and flung the cottage cheese in her direction. Perfectly it landed on her cheek, as curds rolled down her neck.

He sat in shock at his actions for a moment, as the woman stared at him dumbfounded.

"That wasn't funny," she spoke calmly. Grabbing the cottage cheese from his hand, she took the bucket and poured the contents over his head. White chunks slowly slid down his face and hair. "Now, _that_ is funny," she replied innocently. Without saying a word, he grabbed a napkin and wiped the food out of his eyes. Then in the next motion, he grabbed the small container of chocolate pudding next to him…

"Oh no you don't!" Quistis stood up quickly anticipating her former student's next action.

"Do what dear instructor?" He pulled the tab back and smirked at the blonde woman, taking an intimidating step toward her. "I wouldn't do anything to you that you wouldn't do to me."

"Seifer, I'm warning you…I _do not_ look good with chocolate pudding in my hair."

"I'll be the judge of that," he mischievously said. Seifer took the final step, and then abruptly poured the contents over Quistis' head. She said nothing as pudding clumps fell to the ground. He looked at her with the largest grin she had ever seen. "You are so wrong…you look _great_ with pudding in your hair."

Both could no longer contain themselves as they began laughing hysterically. Neither had ever remembered a time in their lives when they felt so free, so full of energy. For a moment, they were just them, two kids that had never had the chance at childhood. Two people forced to grow up, and then forced into a life that neither wanted.

When the laughter subsided, Seifer wiped some of the chocolate off her face. As his skin touched hers, both felt a shock of electricity surge through them. Suddenly, the mood had gone from one of playfulness to one of a very serious nature. He moved his arm around her back and gently pulled her towards him. She did not fight; she moved willingly. At first, their lips touched delicately, but soon it grew into a deeper passion.

He found himself exploring her body more with his hands, and in return, she was doing the same. Somehow, they were experiencing life and love for the first time. Although neither was new to this, each could not compare the emotions and sensations to anything else…_or anyone else_. It was as if two people who were always meant to be together fought overwhelming odds to reach this point. One moment in their lives where they were free to be themselves…not to be who others wanted.

Slowly he unbuttoned her shirt, never rushing the moment. She allowed him to do this, while their lips never separated for more than a second. When her top finally fell to the floor, he pulled away. Suddenly she felt embarrassed at the way she looked. The chocolate had made its way down her neck and she became self-conscience of her body. He wasn't sure what made him stop; there was just an overwhelming desire to look at her…to see her for who she truly was.

Whether it was her half-naked form or the emotion in his heart…he wanted her. Not just physically, but in a way he had never wanted another living soul. He wanted all of her…her body, her love, her heart. There was something special about Quistis Trepe, something that he had not seen…something he had been blinded to by his ego. Now for the first time he saw…and knew he loved her.


	7. Dispute, Corrivalry, Duel, and Belligerency

**Chapter Twenty-Seven: Dispute **

The last bandage was placed around her hand. Carefully, gently his rough fingers had the touch of feathers against her skin. Rinoa remained silent, lost in her own thoughts as Squall had tended to her wounds. The glass had cut deep, but she declined to visit the infirmary. She refused to give up a second with her family. Each moment was a gift; Rinoa Heartilly knew that. The combination of a cure spell, along with good old-fashioned bandages, was enough to keep her out of pain.

Putting away the supplies, Squall carefully sat on the bed. Wordlessly he lay back against the headboard. His arms reached around, gently guiding her onto his chest. Neither spoke…silence had become their common ground as of late. But maybe silence said more than words ever could. Emotions spoke louder, the bond was clearer…they were one.

"Ellone's _here_," she finally said under her breath.

"Rinoa, we both know she died two years ago."

"Yes, she did. But her spirit is still _here_…she has been watching us." Rinoa sat up slightly, turning to look him in the eyes. Placing her palm on his coarse cheek, she looked deep into his eyes…eyes of which she dreamed every night, eyes that she saw everyday in Allison. "Ellone brought us together again. She's been watching over us all this time…but is trying to warn of the future." A single tear traced down her cheek. "Squall, she didn't have to warn me…I already knew. I knew my life was always at risk, _I knew_. In two days, Ellone won't be here anymore, her soul will move on. I should've told you about Allison earlier…I'm so ashamed that…"

Sitting up he grabbed her tightly, resting her on his shoulder. Together they sat neither letting go.

"Rinoa…_don't_. You can never look back on the past…you did what you had to do. _I know that now_. I will protect you. Nothing will happen…_I swear_. If you die, then I will be lying lifeless next to you…"

"No!" she chocked out. "Don't…Squall you can't do that!" Rinoa broke apart, looking directly at him into his soul. "Promise me Squall you will go on. Don't let yourself get into a position like that. I'm not the only one here now…I'm secondary. Promise me that you will be there for Allison. She can't lose both parents…_she needs you_."

"Damn it, Rinoa…I need you." He subconsciously pulled her closer, almost too forcefully.

"Squall, our daughter…she can't be an orphan…we can't do that to her."

"I'm_ not_ losing either one of you."

"Some things we cannot control Squall, some we can. If it is my destiny to move on, I can't deny it. You can't deny it. Squall, there are some enemies you can't defeat…death is one. We may have deceived him for a moment, but we cannot hide forever. I've spent the last two years hiding…I can't do it anymore."

"I swear to you Rinoa, we _will_ be a family."

"Squall, we already are…for now, for eternity. Promise me, if you have to choose, don't _ever _regret it… Allison is everything…she is our future, she is our past. Squall…she is the best of both of us. Give her the life we couldn't have."

He lightly kissed the tears from her cheek. "Rinoa, I promise to protect Allison at any cost…but don't you dare think I will let anything happen to you. I arranged for you, Allison and Alex to go to Esthar. There you will be protected during the war… General Caraway has also been granted political asylum by the Estharian government."

"My father?"

"Yes Rinoa, he's aboard Garden now…arrived earlier this afternoon. He just wanted to give you an adjustment period before approaching."

"He's _here_? Squall does he know about Allison?"

"I believe he knows you have a child…I don't think he knows details. His first concern was for your safety. The details were not important at that time."

"So we're going to Esthar?"

"I contacted Laguna and he is thrilled to have us stay there. This grandchild is like a second chance for him too…we all made mistakes."

Rinoa tilted her head to one side with a questioning look. "When did you contact him?"

"Earlier this evening, when you were with the doctor."

"You told him about his granddaughter?"

"I hope that is okay."

"Squall, I hadn't told you yet that Allison was… You knew, didn't you? That's what that entire questioning thing was about."

He looked down, slowly releasing her, and ran his fingers across the bedspread. "I found out earlier aboard the Ragnarok…but I _had_ to hear it from you."

Rinoa indicated she understood, by not overreacting. "I should have been the one to tell you…_two years ago_. Thank you… Thank you, for still making _me_ say it. You don't know how much of a relief it was to speak the words."

"I know." There was a long pause. "Rinoa, even if Allison wasn't mine biologically…she would still be my daughter. She is part of you, and I love her on that alone." She sighed contently, grabbing her arms tightly across her chest.

Squall looked at the digital lights of the clock. "Rinoa, it's late…we need to get some rest." She smiled, giving him a quick kiss on the lips. Getting off the bed, he walked into the bathroom. Rinoa listened as he threw broken glass away. She sat in the subtle light, watching the stars dance eloquently in the night sky.

Reaching over to turn off the lamp, she noticed a book that had been set on her end table. Immediately she realized it was something Alex must have borrowed from the library. Grabbing the book, she thought it might help keep her mind from wandering too much. One thing she knew, there was no way she could sleep until he had returned. There was no way she would want to.

Opening it, she scanned the pages. Poetry, go figure…it was something Alex took pleasure in, yet something Rinoa couldn't comprehend. Maybe it was because she never allowed herself to _feel_ the words, _feel_ the emotion. Maybe the simplicity made it more sorrowful. The elegance refined passion; the ease alluded to something she wouldn't nor couldn't confront. Several titles caught her eye as she flipped through the pages…then she stopped. Without a sound, she read the poem, entranced in its words.

When Squall appeared in the bedroom, she was immersed in the book. He stood mesmerized as the soft light highlighted her exquisite features. Her dark brown hair fell forward, covering her eyes. Her flawless skin illuminated brighter than any star. She was beautiful; she was his everything. Finally, he found the strength to move. Sitting down on the bed, he moved under the silky comforter. Curious, Squall looked over her shoulder. He had to find what had her so entranced. The usual solemn commander found himself, also, examining the words.

Rinoa faintly spoke the last verses aloud. Neither spoke. He took the book out of her hands, placing it back on the nightstand. As the light was turned off, only the moonlight flowed onto the bed. Squall listened to the sounds of her breathe, before he could no longer hold himself back. In the shadows, he found her soft lips and slowly she felt herself giving into passion.

"_I love you Squall…promise me you will never regret any decision_. _It's what I want…_" He heard the words tacit in his mind.

Suddenly he broke apart in disbelief. "What? How? In the truck, back the Trabian forest…I heard you then too. It wasn't my imagination, was it?"

Although he could not see the grin, he could sense it. "_Yes Squall…You can hear me; our minds are connected. I can hear you also, if you wish me to._"

Focusing thoughts unto her, his mouth never moved. "_I don't understand…before when you lived at Garden, you never tried this._"

"_I couldn't back then… you had not given yourself to me fully. You gave yourself physically, but never spiritually. Only once you opened me to your fears, could we achieve this level_."

He had no word on his own that came to him, so instead he echoed the last lines of the poem. This time he spoke them aloud.

Reaching for the silver chain around his neck, Rinoa pulled him close. "Forever," she tenderly whispered back.

* * *

Small bits of dust floated in the air, every one taking its own path nothing guiding its way, only the still air and destiny. He had been asleep, and in a way, she was glad. Her mind fought of whether to get up or not from the bed they had shared…the bed they had made love in last night.

Had she really wanted it to happen? Or was it only a physical reaction to stress she had been faced with. Never in a million years, _hell_, in a trillion years would she have pictured this scenario. So much was going on around her, and so many people had been hurt. Yet she took the time to give in to her selfish desires. After all the lies, how did she have any right to be happy?

She forfeited her rights on one fateful day.

Her body tensed as the guilt clouded reasoning. Slowly she moved off the bed, as not to wake Seifer. Gathering scattered articles of clothing from the floor, she quietly got dressed. Again, she caught of herself in the mirror as she straightened her blouse.

Waking up the moment she first attempted to get off the bed, Seifer pretended he was still asleep. He said nothing. Right now, he wasn't sure what to say. Somehow from him, anything he said seemed to come out the wrong way in this situation. The last thing he wanted to do right now was to be thought of as the asshole they had all grown to expect. Instead, he lay quietly allowing her to control the situation. If she wanted to leave and put this behind her, he would understand.

That's not what he wanted, but who was he to decide anything right now?

In the darkness of his eyes, he could see every step she was taking down to her fidgeting with the zipper on her dress. Every rustle of fabric only made him want to get up and take her into his arms. However, he would not. It was not his call.

Last night had been amazing. Simply amazing. He wasn't going to play the part of the innocent, for he was surly not. He had been with more women then he had even cared to remember. Somehow, it was a way to make him forget all his failures, it was a drug. Sex could have been smoking or alcohol, it didn't matter. It was something he did without feeling, an emotionless reaction to fears harbored inside.

Yet this was different, and for the first time in his life, he made love…and in return felt love. Every centimeter of her skin was so soft and pure and his seemed so tainted and stained. In his mind, nothing she did could ever take away from her beauty, for she was only human. He could relate to her dreams, her desires. Dreams had blinded him once, causing him to lose everything and everyone he held dear. Dreams can be a powerful force, unseen and unrealized in others, but controlling your every actions. Hers was Squall.

For a moment, he silently winced at the name. Horrible thoughts crossed his mind, was he only a substitute for _him_ again? Who was she making love to last night…at least in her mind? For the first time in a long while, a tinge of jealously entered his heart. He had come back only to help his rival out of the darkness that covered the commander's life. What he hadn't expected to happen was for the darkness that covered his life to find a small ray of light. But would it truly be enough?

He faced an uncertain future, and for that matter, so did she. He had no right to pull her into his problems, as she had her own to contend with. She had been silent for the last few minutes as he pondered these eternal questions. Part of him wanted her to just leave, keep the memory of last night sacred in his heart. But, the larger part of him wanted her to come over and tell him the things he only dreamed of hearing from another human.

Was it possible to fall in love with someone in such a short time…_no_. However it wasn't a short time, it was a lifetime. Maybe others could have their _love at first sight_, but he needed more.

Finally, she walked to the door, thinking of the best way to handle the situation. Funny how one night of feeling human and feeling loved in her mind was a 'situation'. Quistis was already late for a briefing with Cid, one she was not looking forward to. What little respect she felt she still had as a SeeD would probably be lost when the others found out her actions last night. With him, the one that started the chain of events in the first place.

But who the hell cared? Maybe she would have one thing in her life, one night. And that no SeeD Commander or reprimand could take away. She walked back to him, for a moment she hesitated. Then Quistis leaned over and gave him an ever-so-slight kiss on the forehead.

* * *

Sunlight replaced the moon, as its rays filtered through the open window. Sitting up, she quickly noticed Squall wasn't with her. Rinoa grabbed the white sheet to her chest, covering her naked body. Looking out into the living area, she noticed the faint sounds of the television council. In all her years, she could not recall a time when Squall purposely watched _anything_. It was always she who rented movies, forcing him to spend evenings on the couch. Evenings, she was sure, he would have rather been planning battles or learning new Gunblade techniques.

Wiping the sleep out of her eyes, she stood up. A bathrobe that Selphie brought hung by the bathroom door, putting it on she tied it around her waist before stopping to look at her reflection in the mirror. So much had happened, so much yet to come. She tucked astray hairs behind her head before heading toward the living room.

When she walked in, the sight was truly the most beautiful she could have ever imagined… It went far beyond the scope of anything Rinoa could have pictured. Squall lay on the sofa, his bare chest slightly exposed. She could see his feet sticking out of the grey blanket that was covering most of him. His right arm under his head, holding on to a small throw pillow. Next to his chest lay Allison…asleep and snuggling up to his neck. Squall's left arm protectively holding her next to him.

_Secure. _

How does one describe such emotion? Events unfolding before her very eyes. Over the course of seven years, her life had dramatically changed. Dreams changed. As a child, her fairytale consisted of a beautiful princess, a prince who won her heart, the dragons that were slain, the castles in the sky, and the _happily ever after_. Nothing more than Rinoa's childhood dream. Nevertheless, those hopes shaped her future and the person she was today.

As an adult, dreams altered. She replaced the dreams of stone castles with a small home she could call her own. Nothing fancy, nothing spectacular…just a place she could feel content and sheltered. The fire-breathing dragon was replaced with enemies around, both known and unknown. The tasks she accomplished to survive, the dragon was a mere metaphor for every adversity she had ever faced.

But the prince, _he never changed_.

For _he_ was the only part of equation that came true. She found her prince, _her knight_, in an ironic turn of events. Together they shared a soul, neither complete without each other.

Maybe the storybook ending wouldn't come true, but she, unlike so many others, could say that she had lived it once… When she was young, she dreamed of fame and fortune. When she was old, she dreamed of anonymity and simplicity. The dreams of youth wasted upon the young, the dreams of today wasted upon fate.

But for a few days, no matter how short in the history of time, Rinoa Heartilly and Squall Leonhart would have what many would dream…life, love, and family. It was something true, something pure.

The television played softly in the background. The program that was on looked like a nature special…nothing Squall would watch with animals and their young. Chuckling to herself, she realized just how much he had been trying. Though it was not cartoons, it was a recognizable attempt to entertain Ally…and for that, she loved him.

It broke her heart as she walked closer, with each step she knew the moment wouldn't last. But she longed to be a part of them and that feeling was now controlling her actions. He started to stir as she grew near. Opening one eye slowly…his expression did not change. She couldn't help but grin back at the picture, so innocent.

Raising an eyebrow, she said, "Good morning you two."

Their eyes locked, but still he didn't move. Rinoa crouched down.

"Morning," he finally said.

"I hope she wasn't too hard on you," Rinoa replied mockingly. "You know how we Heartilly's can be."

"Nothing I can't handle." He spoke matter-of-fact, a small grin appearing.

"Right, I'm sure years of SeeD training taught you well. Dancing and changing diapers are some things taught in your first years."

"You'd be surprised at what SeeD is taught. Hell, I'm surprised at what we're taught."

"I don't even want to know," she countered moving her fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes, allowing himself the simple pleasure of just _being_. A sudden thought flashed through his mind. One that he had been thinking about since he first learned of Allison, one that he had wondered three years ago.

"Rinoa, why did you name her Allison? You had those names picked out a long time ago…was there a reason?"

She tilted her head slightly to the side, looking with bewilderment. "Squall?"

"What?" He asked shifting into a sitting position. Gently he moved Allison onto his chest as Rinoa sat on the couch next to him.

"You really don't know, do you?"

He didn't answer. She could tell by the stare that he was the slightest bit agitated. Squall Leonhart was never one for guessing games.

"Fine," she said softly. Reaching down to her daughter, Rinoa lightly caressed her chubby arm. "Squall, before Ellone was killed…her and I talked one night. She asked about my ability to have children…or the lack there of. She was concerned how I was dealing with it. I guess at the time family was out of the question. We ended up talking all night. I learned all about her parents and her life before living with Raine."

Squall looked down regretfully. "I never thought of her real parents. She never mentioned them."

"I know. Squall, she did that for a reason. You children had all gone through so much. She was the oldest and truly took the role of sister to heart. At any rate, she didn't want everyone to think about what she had gone through…how she had actually ended up there…the story that you _didn't_ know."

"Her parents…they were murdered by the Estharian government."

"Yes. She only remembered fragments of them. Some of the memories mixed with the lies perpetuated by Adel's army. She didn't know fact from fiction…the same future I feared for Allison. But, she did know her parents loved her that she never doubted. Her parents were named Aaron and Allison…"

"I should have known." He looked solemnly at his daughter, regretting everything he had _never_ learned. _Never_ cared about.

"It's okay Squall, she knew you cared. I made a promise to myself that if I…_we_…ever had children, they would be named in honor of Ellone's parents. Then when I met Alex, and learned that she was Ellone's half sister…the name Allison was perfect."

"It was both Ellone's and Alexandra's mother."

"Right, Squall it was like fate brought us together…I had already wanted to name my child after the mother of the person who delivered her…a person that none of us had known about. Allison was meant to be, to bring us all together…"

* * *

"What do you mean Esthar?" snapped the agitated man.

"_I'm sorry…I didn't think they would run._" She sounded scared, afraid of his reaction.

"This was never supposed to get this far. She should have been captured by now. I don't care how you do it; get that damn baby if you have to…"

"_The sorceress is too well protected, but Squall might let his guard down for the child. If he had to choose…"_

"That's what I love about you," he replied. "When this is over we will be together…you know exactly how I feel about you. None of this would have been possible without your help."

"_I love you too, more than you could possibly know. I can't wait to officially become the first lady of Galbadia._

"I can't wait either darling."

He placed the receiver onto the nightstand rolling back over to the person next to him.

"Who was that?" she questioned.

"Nobody important," he answered back. "Just someone in the right place at the right time."

* * *

 

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Eight: Corrivalry **

_Regret. A word so simple…six letters, two syllables. Defined by book scholars as a **verb:** to remember with loss and sorrow. How pathetic. What do they know? One can sit in a closed room defining words, or one can define them by action; I did the latter. I took a chance so special, so unique and traded it all for foolish pride. Illusions forced upon me by others, illusions I chose as reality. _

_Looking back now, it's easy to see what an ass I was, at least to those around me. Maybe I was scared to let them in, but hid it well. Leonhart was always the one they adored, his loneliness worn on his sleeve. Not me, I hid behind anger and smart remarks. Some part of me wanted to yell out, cry for help. But I was too strong, too proud. And nobody heard me._

_But she saw that…Ultimecia. She saw behind the façade, she saw the child I was. And in return, she gave me illusion, the reality where** I** was important, where **I** was loved. Is that what we search for…love? Such another trivial word, one syllable, and commonly over-used. Maybe that is what scares me about Leonhart, he and I are opposites…but we are the same. I never saw him as the rival defined by traditional terms, but as something far beyond. As a brother, not by blood, but by our nature._

_I know, I don't sound like the teenager from so many years ago. Growing up can do that to a person, make one see the world around them…the good, the bad, and all the gray areas in between. For the last few years, I have lived life from the outside, under rocks…the filth of society. Never knowing where my next meal would come from, but always knowing I could get one…if I wanted. Depending on how far I would go for it._

_What makes a person wake up one day wanting to change? Maybe it is the person looking back in the mirror…or maybe our 'little friend' regret is stronger in the mind than defined in a dictionary. Nightmares that haunt you, dreams that destroyed you…all stemmed from regret. Only thinking of what could have been, and not the reality we chose._

_Would she have loved me? To even think her name seems to be difficult now, after all that has happened between us in the last week. No, I didn't care for her back then, but they say there is a fine line between love and hate. How fine a line, only the two individuals teetering between would know. Would the instructor of yesterday ever taken the blinders off to anyone but Leonhart? Did it take her getting what she always wanted, to find out it wasn't worth the price? I know that lesson well. Too fucking well. _

_Was last night something she, in turn, will regret? Will regret and guilt walk hand in hand? Did she think of me or think of him? Is this another illusion I chose to create? The chance someone like **her** could truly want anything to do with **me**… I have been delusional before. _

_Rinoa._ _ I believed she cared, and in her own way, she did. But, love was never on the menu, and both of us knew that. Call me the parental rebellion, that's all I was to her. Something that dear daddy did not approve of…a stepping-stone in her life, one easily cast away. Nothing, and I mean nothing, that she ever did to me was worth the price she paid. She was not dumped and cast aside by Leonhart…she was defiled and betrayed. A fate far worse, left to a world that she did not create, a lie that she didn't perpetuate. _

_And what is irony? Irony is the one person who tried to sacrifice her to Adel, was the only person who believed her innocent. What a fucking joke. In another ironic turn, I have fallen for the one person who started the chain. Do I blame her? No. I have been weak, we are all human…even Quistis Trepe. Unlike me, she tried…damn it, I know she did. Even in weakness, our other friend 'guilt' tried to take care of it…in time Quistis endeavored to make amends. _

_But it was too late._

_That bastard Mitchell stole so much. He took lives of children…goddamn him. Innocents, not warriors, nor soldiers, but elementary students with life ahead of them… those with the chance to succeed where we all had failed. What she fails to realize is that had she not spoken mistruths that day, had Ellone never died… Rinoa would be the one lying in her place. They were there to get her that day; Mitchell was going to sacrifice her. She is nothing but a pawn to him…all human life is._

_In a twisted way, Quistis' lie gave Rinoa life. I could never tell them that, they would never see it. One act started it all, and by the gods, one act will finish it all. Quistis and Rinoa are as different as Squall and I. Nevertheless, they are also the same. Both faced torment and anguish, which neither money nor notoriety can change what is in their hearts. The loneliness each feels…and regret. Fuck you regret. _

_We once stood as enemies, but now we stand as allies, against President Mitchell, against loneliness, and against regret. Let's just hope that we can stand together for this one time, before our lives go back to how they should be written…to when I am again alone and away from her… damn it…what happened to me? Who have I become? Maybe when I wake up in the morning tomorrow, I'll see someone new. Someone without regret, somebody that has prevailed and succeeded in the redemption of my sins…of all of our sins._

_For our sakes, let us hope that redemption is more than a three-syllable word. _

* * *

The rooms seemed smaller than when he attended Garden. However, perception seemed to change with age. The white ceiling tiles remained untouched - standard, non-frilled, squares. Seifer Almasy had spent many hours searching them, for what he didn't know. Each one seemed like a chart, like an astronomers map. When he was younger, he would connect the indentations with his mind, now he could only see _plain, white_ tiles.

Part of him wanted to leave the room, a larger part of him wanted to stay. There was a time he would have walked the halls with no remorse. Now, he was no longer the class bully, he was nothing short of the enemy. The one who turned against Garden, against the only family he ever knew. Now regret and shame kept him in the four walls, a prison. The prison he created on his own, no bars, no warden…something far worse. For the first time in his life, he wanted to scream. Not out of pain, not of anger, but for what could have been. A tapping on the door was a welcome relief, no matter who stood behind it.

"Yeah, I'm coming." The soft knock echoed again. "Hold your Chocobos."

Somehow, he wasn't sure of who would be standing there. He knew Quistis, Squall, and the other SeeDs were meeting in the small conference room. Maybe if he had been thinking that way, it wouldn't have been such a shock.

"Rinoa?"

She looked at him with a mixture of sympathy and regret…yes he could spot his _dear friend_ regret just about anywhere.

"Seifer," she paused looking at the ground. "May I come in for a moment?"

"Sure you want to? I mean who knows what I may do. I could possibly sacrifice you to that really large Grat that runs the training area."

"I'll take my chances."

He stepped aside, motioning her to walk in.

"I…I don't know where to start." Her eyes looked tired, although she still hadn't looked at him directly.

"Well…I suppose you are here for an apology."

"No," she cut him off.

"Then what?"

"I wanted to ask you something. I…I can't believe what I am going to do."

"Hey…sorry Rinny, but I don't think your boyfriend would appreciate _that_ too much. And I, for one, don't want to end up as Grat fodder." He knew she could read him, as some things never changed. So much he wanted to say, tell her how sorry he was, but again the walls went up and the sarcasm flowed.

"Don't flatter yourself Seifer." He detected the little bit of laughter in her voice. It made her feel at ease for some odd reason with him. It always had.

"So seriously Rinoa, what are you doing here? I kinda figured I would be on that long list of _people to avoid at all costs_."

"You're not. In fact, just the opposite, I…I want to thank you."

"You're shittin' me right? Thank me for what?"

"For believing in me. After talking to Alex and what I heard from the others…no matter how much they thought I was guilty…you didn't."

"Nah, never saw in what you'd gain by killing Ellone. You already had Squall wrapped around your little finger, and I never saw you the type to rule a country. To throw a big dinner party for it yes, to rule it…no."

"You never change, do you?" Rinoa finally made eye contact with him, forming the smallest of smiles.

"You'd be surprised…hell I am."

"I suppose you're right. Well first of all, Squall was hardly 'wrapped around my finger'…more like wrapped around his work. Second of all, that would be way too much food; I would prefer a small intimate gathering." She stood silent for a moment, before gathering the courage to speak again. "Why, why did you believe me…and he didn't?"

He walked across knowing the seriousness of the question. Could he really answer this for her? This was something that she needed to hear from Squall, but even Seifer knew that would never happen.

"Rinoa, deep inside he believed in you, even if he didn't know it. I knew that from the very first night I talked with him. They wanted your blood, he didn't. In reality, he could never come to terms with the relationship. In his mind, he was waiting for something…you leaving him, you cheating on him…whatever. Everyone in his life had betrayed him somehow, and he learned to expect the worst."

"But I loved him…he knew I loved him. I would never hurt him."

"I know. Rinoa, in his mind you ran, not from Garden, _but from him_. The day you left, his worst fears were realized. So to rationalize it, he turned you into the enemy. He wanted to blame you, he needed that to get through each morning, to go to bed every night. But the fact that you weren't guilty kept him breathing. Without that fact, he would have been dead along time ago."

"Squall wouldn't kill himself."

"No Rinoa, not physically, but in any given battle one has two choices, to live or die. He chose life for you. Don't for one moment think he didn't love you. If there is one thing I can tell you for certain is that man loves you, more than life, more than death. He would do anything for you."

"Thank you Seifer."

"For what now?"

"For caring."

"Er…um…yeah. Rinoa, you must always know that even through everything that happened with Ultimecia, I did care for you. You will always be special."

"Why?"

"You were the first person to believe in me, to see me for more than the failure that I had become. You saw through that back then. I think that is why the betrayal was so hard for me live with…I betrayed the one person who had believed in me."

"We were always better friends than lovers weren't we? I still think about the nights we sat talking on the pier. Those memories will always be special to me."

"Rinoa, I think we were never lovers. We might have had sex, but it was no more than a childish curiosity. When I think back to those days, I realize you were like the sister I never had…and in that respect, I will always love you."

"I understand. Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"Hyne forbid anything would happen to both Squall and I…but if that would come to pass. Please, please…can you make sure that Allison is safe?"

For a moment, his heart skipped a beat. The mere thought that anyone would trust him, let alone with a child was outright ludicrous.

"Rinoa…do you realize who you are talking to…me, _Seifer_. Loser, ex-knight…not one to trust with a child!" He pointed to himself to emphasize his argument. Rinoa had to laugh at his overacting abilities.

"Seifer, first don't call yourself a loser around me…you will always be a friend. And yes, I know exactly whom I am speaking with, the one person in Garden that could actively compete with Squall. The one person who believed in me and the one person who I want to protect my daughter when…_if_…something happens. I know you can do it, I know you have the desire and the passion. I need that. I can't trust some stranger to do this… Alex can only do so much, but she is not a fighter by any means. You can get them to safety… Seifer Almasy, for Hyne knows what reason…I trust you. I know you can do it, you are the only other one who stands a chance."

Rinoa stopped, looking out the pane glass window. "You like her don't you?"

"Who?" He already knew the answer.

"You know," she replied softly.

"Yeah, I do. It surprised the hell out of me, but damn it Rinoa I really do." She nodded not able to face him. "You don't need to hear this right now Rin. You have other things to worry about."

"No, no I don't. Right now I have to worry about Allison…and if _she_ is going to be around her…well…."

"Rinoa nobody knows what the future will bring." Rinoa almost laughed at the satire of the statement…from her one-time boyfriend.

"I…I can't stand her. I can't forgive what she did, nor can I ever forget. Nevertheless, if there is a small chance in hell that she would protect Allison, if you needed her…well, I can understand. I don't like it, but I can accept it."

"Rinoa, you are a stronger person than I could ever be."

"No, I'm not a strong person. I'm a stronger _mother_…and that fact makes the difference. For our children we sacrifice our feelings, our hatred, and even our lives."

"Rinoa, don't you think that you are overdoing it a bit? I mean by this evening you will be on a ship to Esthar…to live out the good-life in the presidential palace. Heck, you can have that party you always wanted."

"It's a dream, the whole thing…the happiness, the family. If it was meant to be, it would have found a way by now. The stars destine Squall and me, that life is not ours to lead… I only hope Allison can. Please Seifer…you have lived life underground like I was forced. You know ways, you know people, and you have the instinct to survive. I know you can get Allison out of here if it comes down to it…trust me, it's a last resort. But I need to know I can count on you."

Seifer walked over, putting his hand on her shoulder. She turned to him, eyes pleading for this request. "You can," he assured. "Rinoa, if it comes down to it, I will protect her_ for you, for Squall, and for me_. Thank you, Rinoa…thank you."

She reached up to hug him, a brother, a sister…two people not related by blood but by circumstance. To their shock, the door opened. They both turned, seeing Squall and Quistis standing beside each other, with a look of confusion. Seifer couldn't help but laugh at their expressions as Rinoa released him. For a moment, the two in the door stood there silent.

"Hey look it's Mr. and Mrs. Leonhart dear," Seifer said acerbically to Rinoa. "I hope they brought the macaroni salad and bunt cake."

Nobody else found his comment amusing, save for Rinoa who was trying not to chuckle. She was not elated to see Quistis standing there, especially next to Squall. Nor did she appreciate the _Mrs. Leonhart _comment…but seeing Squall somehow made up for it. It had been so long. She would daydream for many hours…the ones she could actually remember in Trabia. She gradually walked toward the door. Quistis fretfully watched her, taking a step into the room. Rinoa continued pass the figure, avoiding eye contact. She focused only on the man positioned in the door.

* * *

Rinoa and Squall continued down the corridor, she wasn't sure what to say at that moment or what he was thinking. Her focus was momentary turned to three girls standing outside the library. They had drawn her attention with pointing, followed by loud whispers. Suddenly, she felt uncomfortable, even with Squall standing next to her. She crossed her arms over her chest, trying not to let the gossiping get to her. But it did.

Somehow, sometime, she had turned into the enemy. To be in Trabia and know what others thought, but to stare-the-bull-in-the-eyes was a completely different situation. Squall could sense her change of manner.

"Ignore them."

"Squall, I hate this. The way they talk about me, not behind my back but right in front of me…like I wasn't even there."

"You _are_ here Rinoa. Don't forget that."

"But to them, I killed Ellone, no matter what Cid explained. You can't tell people something for two years, and then expect them to take it for gospel when you tell them different. Especially when there is no proof to back it up, just circumstantial evidence…and _my_ word."

He remained silent, walking to the guest dormitories. Before they went out of sight, Rinoa fought against better judgment, looking back to the contemptuous girls. Facing the reality of being hated was remarkably different from what she'd envisioned.

Together they stood. Friends and lovers, knight and sorceress, and most importantly mother and father, supporting each other. Giving hope, giving life. Squall slowly reached out grabbing her hand. She entwined her fingers with his, giving him the reassuring of a slight smile.

"Rinoa, Caraway wants to see you…and Allison. I told him that was your decision."

"Yes, I want to see him." Her answer came swiftly. "God, thought you'd never live to hear those words from me, did you?"

"No…but so was, '_Squall you're a father'._ Hell, thought I'd never hear you say 'Squall' again."

Rinoa paused an instant, feeling she owed clarification. "Squall…about Seifer I…"

"Don't," he stated simply. Squall placed his free hand under her chin, making Rinoa look him in the eye. "You don't owe me an explanation. We all have demons to face."

"Thank you," she sighed. He moved his fingers from her chin, allowing her to rest against his chest. In an infrequent show of public affection, he wrapped his arms securely around her. Resting his chin on her head, he could hear every breath, every gasp of air, and every heartbeat.

"Besides, he and I already had our talk. Only a few nights ago, we stood on the deck of a ship heading to Trabia. Never knowing that with each moment, I was getting closer to finding you. He tried to talk sense into me."

"Did it work?"

"Do I ever listen to anyone?"

"Once…" she stopped herself at the slip. Both of them immediately knew what she had meant. _Quistis_. Whether intentional or not, even she didn't know. He drew Rinoa closer to his chest, trying not let regret cloud his mind.

"Squall, he likes _her_ you know."

"I know. Are you okay about that?"

"I'll live. They don't matter anymore…let them have each other." She hesitated, "Do you hate her?"

"I can never forgive Quistis. A day won't go by that I won't think of the betrayal. When this is over, I want nothing further to do with her or with Garden for that matter. But, as much as I hate what she did, _I can't hate her_." Rinoa swallowed, uncomfortable of the subject that she, herself, had initiated. "None of us are totally innocent. We all are to blame."

"No Squall." Rinoa broke the embrace, looking him in the eyes. A serious, mature aura about her, one he had never seen. "That _isn't_ true. No matter what, one of us was innocent…Allison."

* * *

Continuing on, Quistis walked into the center of his small dormitory. Somehow, when she did everything seemed okay. Seifer could forget the war; forget the battles yet to come. Maybe in his life he only needed one battle. One victory that he could hold his head up high…one victory forged without regret.

"What?" He looked at her, blue eyes glaring back. "Her, _Rinoa_?"

"No, the tooth-fairy." The sarcastic retort he wasn't expecting.

"You've been hanging around me too long, I think I'm starting to corrupt you." She only answered with a raised eyebrow, folding her arms across her chest. This look he knew…the instructor stance that must have been taught to every one of them, a prerequisite to receiving their teaching certificates.

"Fine," he conceded. "She just wanted to talk to me about…wait…you…you're jealous, aren't you?"

She didn't answer, and only looked away slightly before refocusing on him. "I am not. Just wanted to know what she was doing in here."

"She was inviting me to a pajama party in the training area."

Quistis was still not amused. "Why won't you just tell me the truth Seifer?" she demanded.

He walked over to her standing in front of her. "Why won't you?"

Quistis rolled her eyes turning around, letting him only see her back. Somehow telling his reflection in the mirror wasn't quite the same as telling him. "I don't think _jealous_ is the right word. I don't know…I mean I know that she never intentionally fell for Squall. Not like she walked in and said _'hey I'm going to get this guy because Quistis likes him.'_ Still, it's hard. I know she isn't to blame for leaving, the marriage, or the pain…but still there is this…resentment maybe? I know that I have to get over it. But when this started out I wasn't expecting to…"

"To what Quistis?"

"Well, to have anyone else to lose… Thought I had already lost it all, I guess. But now you know…"

"No, I don't know."

Something was holding her back, and he knew it. He could tell it was upsetting her, so he quickly tried to cover. "Rinoa wanted to talk about the past, but that is exactly what it is…_the past_. Yes, we were lovers, but we were better friends. Both of us knew it wasn't permanent… I didn't love her, and she didn't love me. Well, we were not _in love_ anyway. She will always be special to me, she believed in me. She still does…and she still believes in you."

Quistis spun around quickly, her look a cross between anger and disbelief. "She does _not_, how could you even say that to me?"

"Well, because she _basically_ said that to me. Give or take a few words… No, I don't think you would be her maid of honor…um…don't even think you would be the person that does the guestbook. However, there is one thing she does believe in…your ability and willingness to protect Allison. No matter the difference between you two, she knows if it came down to it…you would defend an innocent. _Her daughter_."

Her eyes welled up with tears. "I would you know Seifer, I would protect her."

"I don't doubt that for one minute."

She fell against him, reliving a few moments of the previous evening as their bodies touched. "It's just when we walked in and you were hugging her… Well it was like history repeating itself."

"Yeah, but you were in love with Leonhart." He wanted to take that comment back almost immediately. Quistis only silently smiled, pushing back the long hair over her shoulder.

"_Yeah…was…_" The thought echoed throughout her mind, "_Was_."

It was the first time she thought to herself in past tense. Now there was only a present tense. "_Seifer._"

Selphie lay with her back against the wooden headboard. She had files scattered over the bed, and a laptop by her side. She rummaged through several stacks of papers, fervently searching for one specific report.

"Irvine?" she questioned in her high-pitched voice. "Let me see if I got this straight…"

"Darlin' you can ask me anything." She shot him a look. "Right, sorry…old habit. _Selphie_, you can ask me anything."

"Okay, now I have the Trabian police reports here on Richard Bennett's murder."

"Riigghht." He leaned forward in the reclining chair, a nap had been the only thing on his mind, and that idea was now shot. Once Selphie got involved in anything, there was no silence.

"So, everything they have is linking the murder to Squall."

"Yes, which is what whoever did it wants us to believe."

"No Irvine, I'm serious…look." She handed him the finalized report. "Here is the ballistic report from the lab." He grabbed the paper staring at it. "Irvine the guns match."

"Selphie, there is no way this was done with a gunblade…it would be far um…_messier_."

"Oh, I know that. According to Garden records, Squall was also issued a 9mm two years ago, to carry on his person at all times."

"Yeah, I do remember that," agreed Irvine.

"There is no doubt the bullet was fired from _his_ gun. It was recovered in his room aboard the ship, after he went missing. Only _his _prints were found on the weapon."

"You think the real killer would leave their prints? That really wouldn't make a smart-criminal don't you think?"

"Yes, of course. But according to this, blood, hair and fabric samples were also recovered."

"His?"

"Yes, it's conclusive."

"Fine, but Squall didn't kill someone in cold blood like that. No matter how pissed he would be."

"Right…but _someone_ did. They wanted to frame Squall, leaving no doubt in the authority's minds."

"Okay Selphie, I get it. They did a great job of framing him."

"You don't understand. Nobody can get blood like that."

"Well I'm sure with someone like him who bleeds for a living…something kind of expected during battle… It wouldn't be too hard. Heck, they even keep vials like that in the infirmary for DNA identification purposes."

"I know." Her voice was trembling. "Look."

She moved the computer screen to him. Irvine sat forward in the chair, squinting to see the fuzzy monitor. "Selphie according to that they _don't_ match."

"Right…this isn't from the crime scene. It's from the infirmary; once the report came in the blood was his, I explained to Dr. Kadowaki I wanted her to run tests. Then I cross-matched the lab vial with samples we already had on Garden computers. I found a match, but it wasn't Squall's."

"So whose was it?"

"Hang on Irvine…that's not all. I found the last time anyone went to the genetics lab checking this sample… _She_ signed it out. It was the same as the switched blood sample."

"Well, fine so whose signature's on it?"

"Over two years ago, the vial was last checked by Dr. Kadowaki's office assistant."

She handed him the paper with the signature.

"This can't be right Selphie, why would _she_ be checking out vials?"

"I don't know, why switch a vial of blood with hers?"

"I'm sure there is an explanation for all of this. It's not as if she could have been planning the murder of a man she'd never met…and know two years in advance to start framing Squall. Could she have really killed Bennett?"

"Means, motive, and opportunity…she had them all to kill Richard Bennett, but there is something we're not seeing here. I know it."

"Selphie, why don't we just ask her about the vials, why she checked it out in the first place. I bet the two events are totally unrelated."

"Fine, I'll contact Squall, having everyone meet in his office. Maybe as a group we can figure this out."

Selphie looked down one more time at the signature and the date on the paper work. "_Rinoa Heartilly…what were you thinking?_"

* * *

 

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Nine: Duel **

If every thing in life has a place, then every thing has a life…one of its own, something to hold dear. Rinoa Caraway-Heartilly-Bennett or whatever physical name she went by was no more than a pawn within a deadly game. From the moment she inherited her powers, until her dying breath. The unfortunate thing was she knew nothing of the contest, too lost to understand the rules. However, others did, others not named…others that carried no designations. Living as shadows in their world, as doppelgangers to all those around.

The room was barely lit, as most seemed to be at Garden these days. Maybe it was a sign of the times, that conservation and energy was not a fallible resource…or maybe it just paralleled the atmosphere of those around. For some reason she felt nervous, although she had no idea why. It was simple…a reunion she should be happy about, one she was sure that under other circumstances, would be considered joyous. Now, it just filled her heart with sorrow. Yet, her knight was there, by her side. He was so much more than he could ever know.

Slowly he reached his hand to the door, giving her one last apathetic look.

"I'm going to be all right Squall." She timidly reiterated.

"Sure you don't want me with you?"

Reaching over she brushed her palm to his cheek. "You know, I'm not sure of anything these days. But, I need to do this alone." She looked with apprehension once more at the doorway. "I have to Squall, just be in my heart, and that will be the only support I need."

"Always," his answer short but poignant. She reached down to his hand, turning the knob with him. When it opened, she could only see the silhouette of the stern figure standing in the room. She looked back to Squall, who said not a word. His eyes spoke more than any language. She gave him one last diminutive smile, although he could tell it was forced.

Rinoa walked into the darkened room, "Father…"

* * *

He made it no more than ten paces from the conference room, before his pager went off. With disgust, he looked at the annoying thing attached to his belt. "_Damn it_," he inwardly cursed. His plan was to stay outside the door on a nearby bench, but this was coded as an emergency. Something told him that Rinoa would be all right for a few minutes, and he could call Zell to stand sentry.

Reluctantly he looked at the door and once again at his beeper. He took of the pager, turning the signal to off. He lost her once, now she was his only _emergency_. Garden would no longer be under his control, they could live without him. Hell, they always could.

Minutes passed as he sat scrutinizing the door. Every heartbeat echoed through his body, and with every passing second, he worried more about her well-being. A voice scared him out of his daydreams, the ones that were closer to his reality than the truth was.

"Squall…" He turned to look at Selphie standing there. He remembered a time when she was cheerful, but that time was nothing more than a season in the sun. The past. For a moment, he stopped to think what all the lies had cost everybody. Not just the obvious players, but also the supporting cast in his life, the people he tossed aside for too many years.

"Hey, um…we were trying to page you. Something important came up, and we really need to go over it."

"I'm waiting on Rinoa and Caraway now. When I'm done, you can inform both of us then."

"No Squall…what we have to say can't be said in front of her."

"Why?" His voice grew in irritation. This little game wasn't going to bode well with him. He was tired of petty games.

"Because Squall it's about her…something that happened over two years ago. Plus it relates to the Richard Bennett murder. We think that she…"

"Don't!" his voice screamed. It was a show of emotion that she wasn't used to. Taking a few steps forward, he put his finger into her face, "If you are even going to tell me she had anything to do with it, get the hell away from us."

"Squall, I didn't say that she did, but there are a few things that point to the…." She stopped as the clipboard she was holding was yanked out of her hands. With all his force he through the clipboard against the wall, all of its contents rained down.

"Shut up, Selphie." He immediately threw his hands into his face. "God I'm sorry…I'm so sorry."

"It's okay Squall, I know," the younger girl tried to relay her empathy, although she was sure it fell on deaf ears. "If it's any conciliation to you, I don't think she did it either." Selphie started picking up the scattered contents of the clipboard. "But, this is something much deeper than one lie, I think it's many."

"What a fucking shock," he retorted as he bent down picking up the papers which lay in front of him. "Can you just ask me, without it being some Garden gossip in two hours…please we owe Rinoa that much."

She stopped gathering the notes, and sat on her knees. "Squall I know this is a very difficult question…but do you remember when there were reports that she had also made Jefferson Mitchell her knight… Why did you ever believe that?"

He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry. The memories swirled in his head like a hurricane. Actually, he had blocked that out until now, asking Rinoa seemed unimportant. Yet that was a question unanswered to even him, but he trusted her, God he trusted her. Together they shared what no other couple possibly could, but the answer seemed more difficult than he expected. He turned his head, unable to face Selphie.

"Because…I was sent photographic evidence of Rinoa, of Mitchell…in bed…oh Hyne." He had put those memories out of his mind, as they stung him deeply. He remembered the pictures all too well the one with Rinoa holding Mitchell. Damn she looked beautiful in it, and happy…he remembered her being very content in that picture. The next ones were a series of photographs that would be better displayed on a pornographic magazine….

"Squall, are you _sure_ it was Rinoa?"

"Yeah…I saw her with Mitchell, there is no denying that. Then the others…her dress, I remember that laying there…and him, that bastard."

Selphie felt sorrow toward the man, just as he had one ray of happiness, his world crashed around him yet again. However, in her mind, everything was too coincidental, too planned. Something didn't fit and she was determined to find out the truth. She did something she would have dared not do, only a week ago. Reaching out her hand, she touched his arm.

"Squall, if you believe in your heart, that she never cheated on you…then you are right. Rinoa loves you, she always has. Mitchell is no more a knight than Irvine is…trust your heart not your eyes."

He didn't say anything, he hated the memories. But he believed in her. For the first time in two years he wanted to see the pictures again, maybe there was some small thing he missed before, in his anger, in his haste. Something so obvious yet overlooked…

"Selphie can you please stand here for a little while? Rinoa is in with her father, trying to make amends. They just need time. I really need to go to my office for a bit."

"I understand."

"Tell everyone to meet in my office at 18:00 hours. Together we are going to figure this out, Rinoa included."

She smiled slightly, "Okay." Before he walked out, Selphie had to ask one last question. "Hey Squall, do you remember when Rinoa helped in the infirmary?"

Slightly bemused he thought back, to before, when life was normal. "She only worked in there one day officially. They had an exchange program with Galbadia Garden. Rinoa then did a lot of the filing of papers and admittance work. Actually, working_ in_ there? Just one day when Dr. Kadowaki was short staffed. All other office assistant duties and work was done remotely from the administrative wing. She used the office next to mine for a long time."

"So would Rinoa have handled anything…samples, tests…blood?"

"I don't see how she could from an office three floors away. That would have been left up the nurse that was assisting on the medical end, not the paperwork end. Plus, Rinoa hates the sight of blood."

"Didn't she fight with us? How could she be afraid of blood?"

"I didn't say afraid, I said hate…a carryover from her mother. The only thing she remembers about the crash was her mother's body lying in the crimson blood."

"Yeah," she whispered softly. "I guess that would stick with you."

"Don't mention this to her now, she has far more important things to worry about than history that cannot be changed."

"No, Squall…I don't think I'll have to." Selphie looked down at the paper once more.

* * *

When the door finally opened, Selphie could see the young sorceress emerge. Her eyes stained and with a puffiness to them. It was obvious that the girl had been crying. Selphie's heart reached out to her, although she wasn't sure if Rinoa understood everything yet. Walking up to the dark-haired girl, Selphie tried to act her energetic self, although thoughts clouded her perception right now.

"Rinoa, you okay? Squall had something he needed to take care of, I'm going to escort you back to your dorm."

"Sure Selphie, I understand." She looked around the Garden, did she really understand? Right now she needed him, things had gone all right with her father, but 'all right' had many interpretations depending on who was saying it. She was glad to see him, know that he was alive and well. Nevertheless, embarrassed enough about her actions of running, and for the first time, realized how it reflected on her father. The World Council was not one too easily to overlook such things; it was a miracle at all the Jefferson Mitchell let him keep his position.

Yet somehow, when she walked out of that room, she needed Squall's support. She counted on him to be there if only in her heart. With all the emotion flowing through her, she had to ask the obvious. "Selphie, where did he go?"

Smiling kindly at her friend, Selphie tried her best to come up with an explanation. When all else failed she asked a question that shocked even her. "Rinoa…before you left Garden there were reports of you sleeping with President Mitchell…do you happen to know anything about that?"

"What? You're not telling me that Squall is believing that again?" Selphie could tell that the girl was starting to panic to a certain degree.

"No Rinoa, of course not… Just he was sent pictures of you and Mitchell in bed together…"

"He what?" She was now absolutely upset. "Selphie…I never…Hyne no…God I love Squall… please don't tell me he believes…"

"No," Selphie quickly interrupted. "He doesn't believe it. However, honestly he did at one point. I think it was easier for him to accept. It turned you into the enemy, but things were different then."

Rinoa looked at her old friend before almost collapsing, holding the balcony railing next to her. "Selphie I swear on my life…on my family's name…that I never slept with him. I only met him a few times. Mainly at a couple of fundraisers with my father. If I ever saw him, it was only in passing at events."

"Yeah," Selphie looked at her clipboard. "Okay, can you do me a favor? Can you sign your name for me?"

"Sure…I can…is it going to help?"

"Maybe."

Rinoa took the clipboard and a pen that Selphie handed her, signing her name on the back of a paper.

"Rin, can you do it a few more times?" The sorceress' seemed baffled. She gave her a strange look, but quickly abided by the request. In a matter of seconds, Rinoa had signed her name five different times. Not sure where this was going, but having enough faith in her friend to believe in her.

"Thank you Rin," she smiled. Selphie looked around the corridors, searching for something.

"Selphie? Um…can I help you with anything?"

"Well, I called Zell to escort you back to your guest room. He should have been here by now."

Rinoa smiled softly, "Go ahead, I can go down an elevator by myself. My dorm isn't far away. I'm a big girl, not to mention a sorceress. I think I can handle a few meters walk."

"Squall would kill me."

"Then we don't tell him, do we? You need to go right?"

The young girl nodded. "Yeah something has come up that may be very important to finding out about the truth."

"Well then Selphie, what is more important than the truth? Please, trust me…I can manage the walk. There is hardly anyone in the halls, and the time alone will do me some good."

"He's going to kill me," she whispered. "But, he's going to kill me if I don't figure this out before we have our meeting."

"Figure what out Selphie?"

"Oh, nothing important." She lied. "You go directly to your room okay?"

"Yes, I will. Trust me."

* * *

Rinoa wasn't sure of what she was expecting, nor why she pushed so hard to be on her own. Mind over matter, she repeated to herself. It wasn't as she was in the heat of battle, only going from one hallway to another…_by herself_. God, if Squall knew he would be so enraged. The thought almost tickled her, the fact that someone cared that much about her. After all that had happened, she was sure nobody would care again. Zell was lost in Garden somewhere, doing Hyne knows what. A lead was a lead, and Selphie had more important things to do than baby-sit a twenty-two-year-old.

"Look who the commander let off his leash, you think she has a dog tag on? We wouldn't want her to be considered a stray," a disdainful voice spoke out. Rinoa continued to walk, trying to avoid any eye contact, but the closer she got the more boisterous they became.

"Hey be quiet Nicole," another girl teased. "I'm sure she has an important date with whichever man she's screwing this hour."

"Are you kidding Kris?" The third mocked, as she blocked Rinoa's path. "She doesn't screw just _any_ man…she isn't a _common_ whore, she's a first class one. Only goes after men with power, and money."

"Dia, don't forget wives. That seems to be a high priority on her list."

Rinoa's heart raced. She wanted nothing more than to get away. The last thing she needed right now was a confrontation. "Please," her voice shakily rasped. "I don't want to do this, I understand how it looks…but please, I just want to get back to my room, back to my daughter."

The cadet got right up into her face. "What are you going to do? Stab us as you did Ellone Loire? Or are you going to fuck Instructor Leonhart's husband?"

"Are you kidding," joked Nicole. The other two girls surrounded Rinoa, pinning her in the center. "This is the sorceress you are talking about…she is going to run. Hell, she is good at that."

"Oh, don't forget her illegitimate child." Kris laid one hand on Rinoa's shoulder, causing a chill to run down the sorceress' spine. "Poor kid doesn't even know which trick is her father. She would be better off dead than having you for a mother."

There was a fine line for a sorceress, one many dare not cross. You could say anything you wanted to about her and Squall…but not Allison. She could feel her blood coursing through her veins. Each heartbeat drew her closer to becoming someone she didn't want to…someone that would make their assessments look valid.

She pleaded with them, "Leave now." It wasn't a request, as much as a demand.

"What we finally hit a nerve? Finally the almighty bitch shows us what she is made of?"

"Ah…Dia…I don't think…" Nicole tried to warn her friend slowly backing away. Rinoa could feel the emotion taking control. She didn't want to be like this, she had put up with so much…but that was her choice. These girls weren't. Being back at Garden, all the emotions shed within the last four days. Her body was tired, and her mind was weak. The girls suddenly noticed the change in appearance as her eyes began swirling with opaque clouds.

It wasn't as if she was in control of her own actions anymore. Slowly she raised her hand, shaking fighting with her own conscience. Tears were forming at the fight within her soul, these girls were not the enemy and she knew that. Suddenly she retracted her own hand toward her chest. Clutching her hand into a fist, she could feel the pain of each nail going into her palm. At that moment, she was grabbed vigorously from behind.

Immediately she knew who it was, as he spun her toward him, holding her tightly.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine Squall. I just want to get back to the room."

Checking she was physically unharmed, he moved her to the side standing in front of the three girls.

"What in the hell were you doing? Who do you think you are?"

"We're SeeDs," Kris spoke up. "We are trained to defeat the sorceress. What the hell are you?"

Squall raised his hand; he wanted nothing more than to strike her. Strike them all. _They_ were the ones that caused this; _they_ were the ones who tormented her. And they were the ones up until four days ago…_he would have sided with_.

"Damn you girls, get away from here! Don't let me see you again!" He roared, lowering his arm.

The girls were not quick to depart, as they didn't show much fear of _the_ _commander_. At one point, they had respected him, but now he was just someone _that bitch_ wrapped around her little finger. Quistis was still well respected among the student body, and any betrayal to her, was a betrayal to them. They would never know the entire story, only that which was bequeathed to them. Garden was facing war, and only pertinent information was reiterated to students. Up until yesterday, they spent all their time hunting her, now they were defending her…

* * *

"What in the hell were you doing on your own without proper escort?" his tone reprimanded.

"Squall, I'm sorry… Irvine needed to see Selphie right away. Alex was in the dorm with Allison, and I thought I could make it back to my room without an incident."

"You should know better by now. Has history taught you nothing? And what was 'that' back there?"

"I…I don't know. It just started taking over again…that feeling. Three years and nothing, three days around you and it's my third time. Okay…okay once back in Trabia… I lost my temper with Richard, almost killed him."

"Guess someone else finished the job for you. Not that it was a major loss to society."

"You were close then weren't you?" The realization dawned on her.

"I'm not sure where I was when you left, anywhere between Deling and Trabia. I was actually upset when they put me on the Bennett kidnapping case."

"Ironic isn't it?"

"Yes, I've had enough of _that_ in my lifetime."

"So it must have something to do with you, or your presence I mean. When I am near you, I tend to be stronger. The powers laid dormant for almost three years…no matter what that beast did to me."

"God, Rinoa I'm so sorry."

"Damn it Squall!" her head shot up at him. "I told you never to say that to me, _no matter what_." She took off quickly walking down the hall, not looking back at him.

Standing in a momentary confusion, he raced to keep up with her pace. "Rinoa, what is your problem? I didn't mean anything by it."

"No Squall, you didn't and neither did _he_."

"He?"

She turned around standing in the hallway atrium to the dorms. "Richard Bennett! Every time he hit me for sadistic enjoyment, crushed me until my rib cracked, or raped me…it was always _I'm sorry_. Sorry doesn't mean anything to me Squall. Not a damn thing. But you do…so please, don't cheapen yourself with an _I__'m sorry_. Show me by actions, not by words. Just…just be there for me…"

The words hit him like a dagger, every one pierced his skin and only reminded him of his failures. Was he ever who he should have been? Or had fate decided on his destiny from the moment of birth? He would not stand for this; he was in control of his life now. He knew what he wanted, and would stop at nothing to obtain his goal. His family.

* * *

The four walls were closing in like a dungeon, again. Seifer Almasy hated this, being trapped like an animal. Yes, in all reality he could easily walk out, into the halls freely. But at what cost? He had betrayed them many years ago, and everyone in that place had reason to hate him. And they were correct. He tossed and turned in his bed, as the afternoon sun pierced the floors. The shadows gently crept the tiles like a sundial, each showing another hour of his life wasting away in this place.

Closing his eyes, he tried to think. If he got up and ran, ran as far as he could…is it possible to ever stop? Was his life one giant failure like his father's before, was that linage the only thing passed from father to son?

He looked over to the dresser and saw the reflection of his gunblade in the mirror. Maybe he could go unnoticed in the training center. Yeah, right. He so badly wanted…no needed to fight. The adrenaline coursed through his veins, it gave him life. It was natural as blood. But no, now he laid in the room…walls closing in.

Why wasn't she there? All right, maybe not the best solution, but at least with Quistis there he could find other things to concentrate on…like her. Maybe the last evening still weighed heavily on his mind. Maybe he didn't know what to make of this new life all of a sudden. When he first found out about Rinoa, his intention completely selfless, now he had to admit that he looked on it for personal gain.

He was a man of his word, even if few valued it. Fighting to the bitter end was not a choice; it was a promise. However, when he came to Balamb that evening to speak to Squall, never once did he think they could find the sorceress, let alone bring her back. He liked to think that every deed was noble and maybe it was…but somewhere along the way, the line had been blurred. Now, not only did he think of the future of the one he tried to sacrifice, but also the one who shared his bed last night.

He closed his eyes and darkness prevailed upon his dreams. He could not sleep; his mind was far beyond that. But he could daydream, and he was in control of the most personal of thoughts. At least he thought… A sudden chill raced through his body. If they say that you get a chill when someone walks over your grave, then somebody was digging his. It was almost unearthly, and scared him for a moment. Then a solitary image flashed through is eyes. And even when he opened them, it was like a negative, the silhouette of the beast that plagued his dreams…the dragon. The unknown creature that for some reason haunted him.

He looked down at his watch. Quistis had left him no more than two hours ago. He needed to see her now. There was something going on there, which nobody could see. Not him, not the commander, not even the sorceress. Something about this simple dragon image held the key…and the answers that they searched.

Answers far worse than any could imagine.

* * *

 

* * *

**Chapter Thirty: Belligerency **

From the beginning of recorded history, it has always been a fight between good and evil, each holding their own. If one power grows too strong, a chaos will erupt that no mortal, nor God, could ever save us from. It is a balance like dark and light, the sun and moon, or love and hate. There is always a fine line, which one dare not cross. However, if one being or entity dare defy it, then the universe would be forever lost.

A descendent of Hyne was unique. The embodiment of a sorceress meant so much more than the history books ever told, more than they could ever know. Not only did they keep balance in this life, they kept balance in the hereafter. Serving Hyne, or forever being banished into another realm. The one of either mortal souls, or those condemned to eternal damnation. For in the realm, it was a triad of power. A balance equal between three. Unlike most religious beliefs, that only focused on two…the power of good and evil. But for Hyne, there was a kingdom separate for her descendants. One where they could govern and rule. The mortal realm was just that…a place for the rest of society to lay at rest.

Or eternal damnation…there is always an evil. _Always_.

Sometimes the evil is obvious, comes riding in cloaked on a dark horse, with sickle in hand. At other times, it lays in wait, finding our weakness, learning…watching every moment. And that is the worst evil, the one that stays hidden, not among the shadows, but in the light of day.

* * *

The room was quiet, save for the toddler pretending to fly. Allison twirled around, arms widespread. Spinning in circles, her wings reached the imaginary clouds that covered the room. Rinoa sat quietly on the couch, taking in every moment of the performance. She heard a sound coming out of the bedroom, but never looked back. She felt a hand on her shoulder, as the figure sat. But, still she did not look. She only closed her eyes, and rested her head against his chest.

"She has your imagination."

"Squall, I don't think you ever had one." It was sarcastic; they both knew it.

"Maybe, maybe not." He pushed her short hair behind her ears. Watching the way it cascaded against her face. Her ear so perfect…so many things he never stopped to enjoy.

"She has your eyes."

"She has your heart," he whispered faintly back. Rinoa smiled.

Trying not to let the tears come again, she turned. Looking at him one more time, every feature, and every fault. With a single finger, she traced over his scar, eventually letting it trace down to his mouth. She kept it over his lips, as he closed his eyes on the sensation of the contact.

"Remember me."

His eyes flew open, and his mouth suddenly fell agape. No words came. It was too much of a shock. He started to speak, but she once again put slight pressure on his lips with her finger, scolding with her eyes.

"Squall…please…just remember me. Remember the last few days. Hold on to them in your heart. She will need that. If something happens, _go on_. Don't ever look back."

He pushed her finger aside with his hand, a little more forceful than he had meant to. "Rinoa, don't talk like that!" His eyes almost seemed metallic, like steel. He was so serious, so passionate. "We are leaving for Esthar tonight…there we will be safe."

"Safe," she echoed softly. "Squall, they won't stop until they find me. I can never have a normal life."

"Yes you can. We can…damn it. I never cared about your powers, it was you."

"You might not care about power, but others do. They always will for that, I will never be at rest. You and Allison do not deserve this, to run like rats in a maze. You deserve to be free, run along the ocean shores. Back at the cabin, you promised to take us to the water's edge. I beg of you Squall…please, please do that if something happens."

He turned away from her, only to watch his daughter still _flying_ around the living area. So innocent, so young…just like they had been once before fate had been cruel. He watched every movement the girl made, the way her hair flowed as the air swept through it, just like her mother's had so many seasons ago. He ran his hand through his own locks, although it was short, it still was a nervous habit from many years past.

"Rinoa, why are you so sure something is going to happen? Within two hours, we will be on a transport to Esthar, yet you act as if it's not going to happen. Or if it does, you won't make it. Why…why do you keep doing this? From the moment I saw you again, why have you acted as if these are your final days? Goddamn it Rinoa, stop talking like that."

"Squall," she could no longer forge a smile. "I just know…I can't explain it. All of _this_ has lead up to this one thing, them finding me. They will not rest, they will not stop, and they shall continue to hunt me until I am found. I am the animal and they are the hunters…I am nothing more than prey. I could have never dreamed that I would be given the opportunity to see you again…that is more than I could ever ask. I…love…you. I had the chance to say the words again."

"Come on," he stood up, almost angrily. Offering his hand, he pulled her up with him. "We are getting our things, and leaving now. They can have their battles, I will not lose mine."

"Squall, they need you."

"Damn it, no they don't. They never did. I have been gone from here for two years. My only obsession was finding you and the truth. I've done both. My job is done. Garden is a memory."

Their eyes met, neither seeming to back down in their resolve. His so serious yet so scared, even she could see it. He wasn't hiding it well anymore…or she could just read him better. Whichever it was, she couldn't compete with his decision.

"Fine Squall, just give me about twenty minutes here."

"I'm not leaving until…" A knock at the door made them both turn. Allison stopped being an airplane, and ran toward the sound.

"Mama…door… Dada?"

"No…no it isn't," she couldn't even look at Squall. Her guilt consumed her every time she heard Allison call that man, Richard Bennett, _Dada._

"I'll get it." Rinoa could hear the hurt in his voice.

"No, wait a second Squall." Bending down on her knees, Rinoa stared at her daughter eye-level looking into the same steel blue eyes she had early seen in her true father.

"Ally…Mommy needs to tell you something. I know you won't understand, but I need to be the one to tell you. Squall…this man right here." Rinoa reached up grabbing him by the uniform sleeve, pulling him down to their level. "This is your…Dad. We won't call him _daddy_ or _dada_, we will call him _Dad_. Can you say that for me?"

"No…that Skall."

"Yes, Ally it is…but he is also your real father. He is your Dad." She pointed to herself and then to Squall, "Mom and Dad."

The sound of the door echoed once more through the room. Allison seemed more concerned about the door, than what her mother was trying to tell her. "_Mama door, Dud Skall door_."

Rinoa stood up, along with Squall. "I think she is getting closer there _Dud Skall. _Now go open the door before she gets mad."

He looked down at the girl, who was no feverishly pointing to the door. "Come here," Squall reached down grabbing Ally in his arms. "Let's see who it is, okay?"

Watching them carefully, Rinoa couldn't believe how well he was handling this. She wasn't sure what she thought would happen, but this wasn't it. This was far better than any dream. This was her reality.

"_Alix…_" the little girl cried. "_Ma, Ant Alix! And Yell_!"

"Oh Aunt Alex and Zell? That's great Allison," she answered to the child.

Squall opened the door, with Ally still resting on his hip. Both Alex and Zell seemed a little taken aback to see Squall holding Allison, as if he were a natural at child rearing. The last thing either thought was he would, _or could_, be good with kids.

"Hey Squall…um the others really need to see you up in your office, before you leave for Esthar. Selphie thinks she knows what is going on, who killed Bennett."

"I don't care who killed the bastard," he replied irritably. "We're leaving. Now."

"What?" Alex seemed slightly confused. "I thought we still had a few hours."

"Plans changed. If you're going, be ready." His tone reflected that of the commander, one would hardly think he was holding a child. Everything about his demeanor returned to seriousness when the others arrived. Only Rinoa saw the other side, and of course, Allison.

"Squall," her words barely audible. "I know you don't understand. Hell, I don't, but some part of me needs to know, for closure. I was his wife for two years…"

"No," he almost yelled at her. Allison became slightly scared, and reached for the nearest person next to her, which was Alex. Squall relinquished his hold, allowing Ally to crawl over to her godmother. When his arms were free, he quickly turned to Rinoa. "Don't ever say you were his wife. You weren't." He didn't realize how much the words would bother him coming from her mouth. Hell, he was no better being married to Quistis, but theirs was legal…Rinoa's was not. Renee Bennett was as fictitious as one could be.

"Okay Squall, but please…we can go up there right now, hear what they have to say. Then leave. This will give Alex time to pack. I promise we'll leave right after."

"Promise?" He put his hand on her arm. She didn't answer, thinking it was a rhetorical question. His tone a little more stern, "Do you promise me after the meeting, we leave for Esthar?"

"Squall, I promise with all my heart, on my word." Reaching out a hand, he put a palm on her cheek, feeling her silky complexion against his coarse skin.

"I'm holding you to that Ms. Heartilly."

* * *

How many times had he seen this place? One could only venture to guess, it was even a mystery to Seifer Almasy. The office that once was Cid's had now been transformed into Leonhart's. He actually was surprised that even the office had little personality, _go figure_. At least Cid with his collections of…well whatever that shit was. Edea must have had one sardonic sense of humor. There used to be taxidermy monster heads adorning the wall. He hated them. He used to think they were mocking him. He spent a lot of time in here…he even sat and named them one day.

Now it was different. The walls still made with mahogany trim and designed woodworking. The doors still with polished brass handles, and Squall had kept the same leather sofa. Seifer guessed that he spent many nights up here, easier than going home to someone he didn't love…_Quistis_. It was easier being trapped in an office with someone he didn't love…_himself_. A few scattered credentials were put up on the walls. One was Leonhart's official SeeD graduation certificate. Yeah, that sucked. The others looked like cheesy thank you gifts from cities and nations after the war. If nobody spoke soon, he was going to go stir crazy.

"Hey look Quistis, you never told me that Squall was an honorary member of Timber Maniac's. Don't they also publish _'Girl Next Door'_? Wow, wonder if Commander Puberty Boy has written any letters to the editor…bet he'd have a few good stories."

"Seifer…" It sounded more like a reprimand than it was meant to. Quistis rolled her eyes, walking away from him.

"What? I was just wondering?"

Irvine mumbled something to Selphie under his breath, causing her to give him an annoyed look.

Quistis shook her head. Had so much changed in their lives that nobody could laugh? Once in a while, yes, but to be the carefree spirits they were once upon a time. Then it dawned on her, they were never carefree. Their life was anything but. From planned meals, to planned battles…hell even their funerals were all pre-arranged since the age of fifteen, how wretched was that? Somehow, Seifer managed to hold on to something the others had lost. Maybe to be removed from Garden only made him stronger. Maybe he was a better person for it…maybe they all would be.

"Selphie," a voice spoke away from the other two. "Are you still working on that, I thought you said you had a lead…" Irvine lay on the couch, feet propped up on the coffee table in front of him.

She grabbed the pen, which she was gnawing with her teeth. She had acquired a nervous habit of biting on writing instruments, ever since school and finals. Something she never out grew. "No, Irvine, I don't have it all yet. I can just tell you who didn't do it. But there is something bigger here than one murder, the trail goes back to three years ago, a year before Sis was killed."

As the door creaked open, the four turned their attention toward it. Rinoa carefully walked in first, clearly uncomfortable by reading her demeanor. Squall followed, closing the heavy door behind him. Neither looked pleased, but both tried to act as civil as possible. "We're leaving after this, so make it short." His words were to the point.

Selphie looked up from behind her laptop. "Squall, I hate to ask you this, I know it's very personal, but do you have the pictures of Rinoa and Mitchell?" Rinoa froze in shock, her body tensing up at the mere thought of being with _that_ man.

"What the Hell?" The commander spat back.

"Please?"

Squall looked to Rinoa seeking some kind of answer. She nodded her head, giving her approval. He hated those fucking things, yet for some reason he had kept them. Maybe to remind himself of the purgatory he lived within. The constant torture present between his mind and heart. He walked over to a filing cabinet, and browsed through some folders. Finally emerging with a manila envelope. He took only a few steps toward Selphie, before angrily tossing it at her. "Here."

Selphie started getting of the couch, but before she could Rinoa quickly walked over to them. Without a word to anyone, she opened the folder. A gasp sounded throughout the room, as she saw the first photo. "Oh God," the only thing she could say. She flipped through all of them, before finally landing on the last one. It was Rinoa and Mitchell; she was wearing the same dress that she had in the other photographs. She handed the one picture to Squall.

"This one…this one _is_ me. Please you have to believe me…I was at a fundraiser, attending with my father. It was sometime after Ultimecia…I had asked you to go, but you were too busy. So, I went alone. There was a photographer there. I remember her asking me for a picture with the President."

"Her?"

"Yeah, I think Kimberley…something or other. I don't remember. Honestly…I did have a little too much to drink that evening. I had been upset you didn't come with me…again. I was always alone at those things. I understand you despise any appearance at political events. But, my father was just elected to the council, I had to go."

"I should have been there." Squall continued to stare at the single picture. Rinoa looked so happy then, even if she was hiding the pain of his abandonment. There was still a certain spark of innocence she lost along the way. He reached over, grabbing the other photos out of her hand. The ones that he had dared not think about.

Sometimes when you have distanced yourself from a situation, lies make themselves clearer. He flipped through all the shots again, when he had done so before he was so irate, that he had been ready to believe anything. He truly wanted it to be her in the photographs. Now he noticed that most of the shots seemed to be tangled naked limbs, and the back of her head. Nothing concrete.

"Got it!" Selphie piped up as her computer monitor sounded. "I have the results of the autopsy. Trust me, Trabia didn't exactly make this one a cakewalk… I tried through the mainstream server, but was met with red tape and bureaucracy; so went through the cyber backdoor. Richard Bennett died of a close range shot with a nine-millimeter handgun. The bullet pierced his left ventricle and exited out of his back… The trajectory of the bullet was consistent of that with a shooter between 5'2" and 5'5"…which…"

She frantically shuffled through some papers. "Here! Which goes against the conclusive results that Squall Leonhart murdered him in cold blood. It says here that his blood was found at the scene, and the murder weapon recovered on the boat. However, unless Squall was leaning down, looking up at him, this doesn't fit."

* * *

The television was the only sound in the room. Alex sat on the sofa with Allison contently lying in her lap. The little girl had been changed into a sweat outfit with little chocobo designs all over them. Her hair pulled back with two barrettes, as wisps of unruly hair clung to Alex. Next to her, Zell sat silently watching the news program.

A knock startled both of them out of their peace, and woke up the youngest one. Allison tried to hold back the tears, but was too tired. She was desperately trying to get any amount of sleep during this quiet time. The martial artist didn't say anything, just walked over to the door.

"Hey," Lauren spoke quietly. "Oh no, I didn't wake her did I? I tried to be quiet."

"She'll go back to sleep. It'll be okay."

"Good, hey they just sent me down to get you guys… Is this a bad time?"

Zell turned to see Alex had put the toddler on the couch, covering her up with a blanket. "Nah, it's fine. What do they need?"

"I don't know, trust me, it's need to know…and as you know…I don't_ need_ to."

Zell chuckled, "Yeah, I guess after a year working for the commander one would learn to shut up."

"Yeah, and when to duck from flying objects," she countered.

"Basically they just had some questions for Alex."

"Me?" she questioned walking to the door. "What are they talking about?"

"Oh ma'am I really have no idea. I just am told to go get people, and I do. I learned a long time ago not to ask questions."

"Yeah, I completely understand." Looking back at Allison, she looked over to the SeeD. "I just got her down. I really don't want to wake her."

"I can watch her for a few minutes. Honestly, I'm not that great with children, but she's asleep…I think my SeeD training can handle it."

"Oh thank you, that will be a great help." Alex walked over to the sleeping baby, giving her a kiss on the forehead before turning to Zell. Then they headed out the door together.

* * *

Back in the commander's office, nobody knew what to believe. They were all part of an enigma that nobody could figure. Every time one puzzle was solved, another one took its place.

"I didn't do it," Rinoa quietly said.

"Nobody thinks you did." Squall walked over to the corner of the desk where Rinoa was seated.

"Yes, they do. Nobody is brave enough to say it aloud." She countered tossing her head into her hands. "I fit the description…my height, and I was around…"

"Does anybody here think that she did it?" Nobody looked at the commander; they all turned away with eyes downcast. "Oh God, you do!" Squall slashed with his hand knocking off partial contents of his desk onto the floor.

"No, I don't." Seifer was leaning against a far wall, Quistis at his side. He stood up, taking a step forward. "It's too perfect. If it isn't Squall, then it's Rinoa. That's easy to believe, she killed before and she will kill again. We all know that sorceresses are bloodthirsty tyrants. So commander that is three of us who believe in her. You guys make me sick."

Seifer started out of the room, Quistis looked at the others, but not Rinoa…she couldn't bear to look at the pain in her eyes. "I'm going after him, but for what little it's worth, I know she didn't do it."

The words meant little consolation to Rinoa, even after everything…nobody truly believed her. She looked down at the photos once more and tried not to become ill.

* * *

"Seifer, what the hell was that about?" Quistis stormed out of the office. She saw Seifer sitting on the corner of a desk, his eyes looking out the window into the abyss.

"It's about everyone. Everything is so perfect it's sickening. Nothing is out of place; the entire thing was a set up from two years ago. Now _they_ say it goes back further. What do _they_ think Rinoa wanted to live with Bennett? That there was some master plan to get Squall up to Trabia two years later on a false kidnapping charge? This is the most fucking ridiculous story I have…" He froze. A chill as cold as Trabia itself ran down his spine. Leaning back, he had put his hand onto something sharp that had cut him deep. When he turned his head, a fear so dark that it couldn't be described by mortal words, crept upon him.

"Seifer, what's wrong?"

"Oh my God," his voice trembled with fear. "This." He held up a ceramic statue from the desk, the very one he cut his hand on. "What the hell is it?"

"Are you okay? It looks like a statue…nothing special. I think Lauren does ceramics in her spare time."

"Lauren?" His heart racing.

"Yeah, it's her desk…Squall's secretary."

"Come on!" Seifer grabbed Quistis by the hand, dragging her back into the room. She lost her footing as the force was so great. Slamming open the doors, the others looked at the two storming inside.

"This!" he screamed holding up the statue. "This is the answer." Everyone looked at him in utter confusion. Nobody spoke, for nobody understood. "Damn it…fine." Seifer threw the statue against the wall, watching it break into a thousand shards.

"Somebody's losing it," remarked Irvine.

"Um…I would say that happened a long time ago." Selphie countered, neither taking their eyes off Seifer.

The blond man walked over to the debris, searching through it. He came up with a small black piece. "Radio transmitter," he whispered. "Squall, it was here all along."

"What are you talking about?"

"The dragon…It wasn't an actual dragon, it was _that_ statue."

"Of Lauren's family crest?"

"Squall, this is the creature in my dreams, this dragon. This brought me back to Garden. Wait, how do you know it's her family crest?"

"I saw her sketching it the other day in the…" His heart stopped, he looked down at the photographs in his hand. "I called her _Rinoa_ in Trabia…shit. From the back she looked like…" Tossing the pictures, they all floated down to the ground. He closed his eyes, reliving every moment of the last two years, all the pieces that didn't fit. _Suddenly did_.

"Between 5'2" and 5'5"…" Selphie looked down at the monitor, quickly hitting buttons. "She transferred…"

"From Galbadia," Squall finished the statement. "She was with us in Trabia…had access to my weapon."

"And evidence," Quistis added. "She could have easily switched the blood, copied Rinoa's signature. But why her blood in the place of yours?"

"We will have to ask her." Squall walked over to Rinoa, staring deep into her earthen eyes. How for one minute could he have ever thought that she…? He embraced her, as she laid her head against his chest. "Rinoa, I caused this. They had somebody here the whole time, before the attack and after. How could I have been so foolish?"

"It's okay Squall, nobody knew. I think it was someone named Lauren who worked in the infirmary for a while…she was the exchange student from Galbadia. It just never registered to me."

"But she helped me in Trabia," softened Quistis. "I thought she was helping at Mitchell's address, but she was trying to find Squall and Rinoa for other reasons. What better way than to help me?"

"I…I caught her on the computer," hesitated Selphie. "She said she'd found an encoded communication giving your location in Dollet…I bet if I check, it originated from her terminal. She was actually sending it when I came in… I caught her off guard."

"I wondered why you assigned her to me." Squall continued to hold Rinoa, as he looked at Quistis.

"I…I…she wanted to work for you so much. I never thought about it. Said she wanted to get out of the medical field…she practically begged me everyday. Hyne, what better way for you to still go after Rinoa, if Lauren was there everyday…_trying_ to be her. And I fell into the trap."

"We all did," added Selphie.

_"A dragon sleeps among the knights,"_ whispered Rinoa, echoing Ellone's warning from last night. She looked up at Squall, and then toward Seifer...both knights at one time or another. And Lauren lived among them, sleeping in their mist.

"Oh, the comparison on the signatures just came in, the one I had Rinoa sign earlier and the one from the lab years ago. The linguistics report came back that it isn't a match. However, it is a very convincing forgery. Every time one signs their name, it changes slightly…but the ones on the papers were exact. Something that is common in forgery. I'm sure finding Rinoa's signature wouldn't be difficult at all."

"Hey guys we got here soon as we could." Alex and Zell walked into the room, slightly confused at everyone's silence. "Yeah…anyway what did you need?" the martial artist continued.

"What?" Squall looked at him in uncertainty.

"Um…yeah…we were told you needed to see us right away," replied Alex.

"Who told you that?" Squall let go of Rinoa walking toward the two, a feeling of foreboding entering his soul.

"Well didn't you just send Lauren down to get us?" Zell looked at the man as if he was insane. "She said we needed to come up here right away."

"Where is Allison?" demanded Rinoa mortally afraid of the answer.

"Lauren is watching her."

And time stopped.


	8. War, Strife, Crusade, and Truculence

**Chapter Thirty-One: War **

There is a certain fear that only a parent carries within their heart. It's a part of your persona no matter what. It's always there, this part of you which never feels whole. It's indescribable, something that one cannot vocalize. A feeling, an emotion. Maybe its roots trace back to the soul, the part that determines one's morality and benevolence. When you bear a child, part of one's soul is passed on, along with the part that is unique to only their being. It is on this principle that generations are passed…grandmother, to mother, to daughter.

It's unwavering, and it's undeniable.

There is a part of history within all of us; it is what guarantees our future. But when that fear takes over, controlling every movement you make, _it is paralyzing_. One never knows whether to scream or cry…or just awake from the throes of a nightmare. We wish it could be a dream when our children suffer. The greatest fear is having to bury your child. What Gods could be so cruel, so evil for that to be their plan? Yet it is done every day, in every country, among every community. There is no escape.

However, we move on…or do we? Does it haunt us to the bitter end, making any remaining relationships a mere gamble? Do we really trust; have we lost all faith? Have the answers that we have searched - _always so been simple_…have we always been that blind?

If we lose our will to live…can we go on?

* * *

She could feel her feet meeting with the ground, but no longer controlling her actions. Her heart raced; they had to be wrong…no one person could sacrifice an innocent child. But Allison was born with the sins of her parents, and for that, she could never be innocent in the eyes of others.

The commander saw her at that moment when realization sank in, the ghost that was standing where Rinoa should be. The sight tore him to pieces, the guilt of this he would never overcome. If they were right about Lauren, then his own foolishness had brought them down this path. Ultimately, his shortcomings lead to his family's destruction. He had been guilty his entire life…of not believing, of doubting, and most of all of failure.

They were running, all of them, but into what they did not know. The same group that defeated Ultimecia years ago, plus two more, were now united against a new enemy. An enemy that was mortal, of this world, but harboring the hatred of a thousand men. One who could get into their heads, more than a sorceress ever could. Mitchell knew their fears and weaknesses. He relied on more than magic or GFs to battle. He relied on _hate_, and hate without purpose…is the greatest weapon.

Not only had Squall failed as a SeeD, but as a knight…_and now a father_. To someone so innocent, someone that only brought joy into this world. With one act, she could be a memory…a memory neither parent could survive with if they lost their child.

The halls grew in distance, with every footstep. There was not enough time; there never was enough for them. Not in this lifetime, not in the one they had led so many years before. His mind raced back to this exact moment, two years ago, when he ran from his office…that day etched in darkness, so too, may this day be.

As they reached the grand atrium, their worst fears came to pass. Squall saw the SeeDs lined up, parting a pathway leading to the front gateway. However, not one dared move…break rank or file. President Mitchell stood with a few militias protectively on either side. Yet he was confident, his look arrogant. He smiled slightly to Squall, Rinoa, and the rest as they reached their destination. It was no more than a game to him.

The commander took in the sight, and _his_ army standing peacefully by. Damn them, they were trained to kill, yet they stood there as if they were offering the sorceress to him. Unsheathing his gunblade, his cerulean eyes glazed into that of solid metal. It was his minute to end this war, now and here; he would fight until the vicious end…until his dying breath. If his troops would not fight, he would fight alone.

"Leonhart, relinquish your weapon," ordered a familiar voice. He turned to see Cid, held captive by a member of the Galbadian Army. His focus distorted between Mitchell and the headmaster, he could easily slay the President and the nightmare would be over.

Wouldn't it?

"Oh Hyne!" he heard Rinoa gasp, as her limp body fell to the floor. He looked at her with concern vaguely before returning his gaze back to Mitchell. One deep slash through his flesh and it could be over…his mind kept telling him to end it. However, something unseen kept him from the confrontation. The other SeeDs… they were just standing solemnly there, they could have easily overtaken the small garrison. But they hadn't, what would be causing them to not attack?

And then he saw her…_Lauren_.

And he could have died.

Squall knew what caused Rinoa to collapse, the sight she had already witnessed with her own eyes. The younger female SeeD stood on the balcony, a perfect match in smugness to Mitchell below. Her demeanor and hair only reflected that of the old Rinoa, now when he looked at her, the lies so obvious. She had been the one in the pictures; _she_ had been the one…not Rinoa. The likeness always there, but it only ran skin-deep. Lauren held a small child; Allison did not move nor struggle. She looked like an angel sleeping peacefully. No parent should ever have to see this sight, to wonder if his or her child is still breathing. The image was haunting.

"Don't worry Commander Leonhart you daughter isn't dead, just the affects of a mild sedative. Oh…that's right Allison Bennett is your daughter, isn't she? Must be hard having her call someone else _daddy_, until I had him murdered. Ironic thing, I never wanted your bastard child. Just the sorceress, Bennett didn't want to give her up either…he wasn't stupid, just slow. If I had been screwing Rinoa, all the power would have already been mine. It's all in the timing, any great ruler knows that."

"What do you want?" Squall yelled, although he knew the answer, everyone did.

"Your girlfriend," he stated vehemently. "And all the fucking power that comes with her."

"NEVER! You can go to Hell with Bennett." He raised his weapon into an offensive position, heart racing and head pounding.

"Lauren, show him I'm serious." The President made a hand gesture to the SeeD standing above.

"Yes, sweetheart, anything for you," her tone was overly seductive. She held the baby over the edge, dangling the child's limp body into mid air. She did it all with a without an ounce of remorse, nor any evidence of morality. Everyone knew she wouldn't hesitate to follow Mitchell's order. She turned grinning vindictively at Squall. "You're a real bastard to work for; I just thought you should know that."

He tossed his gunblade down to the ground, trying to show his collaboration of intent. Raising his hands in the air, feeling the overwhelming sensation of defeat. He loathed that feeling. Right now, battle was not an option. If they attacked Lauren, the child would fall onto the concrete below. No matter from what angle came the assault, his only hope was to tap into her decency. "Lauren look, I'm unarmed. I'm not going to hurt you…please…just…God…_Allison_."

"That's better," Mitchell's smirk returned. He gestured to one of his soldiers, standing in the doorway of the library corridor.

Squall hastily bent down to Rinoa during the quick break. Her sobs were barely audible now. She was obviously in a weakened condition; he had growing concerns about her stability. If she did transform into an uncontrollable state, the consequences could be deadly. Tenderly he put a hand on her back, offering her silent support. She looked to him, and he could see a hurt deeper and more desperate than anything he'd ever witnessed.

"Don't Rinoa. You have to control it…for Allison."

She didn't reply; her words were unnecessary. She knew exactly what he meant. Their eyes locked before Rinoa could no longer keep hers open. Part of her wanted to look at Lauren, part of her wanted never to see _that_ vision again. Those images were now engraved in her mind, and never to be forgotten neither in years nor lifetimes passed.

_They would remain, forever. Scarred._

He tried to help Rinoa to her feet, but she continued to tremble on her knees. Even his touch was not soothing her right now, he was afraid she was going to be too far gone. The weakness in her body, and the fight between the sorceress within was costing the price of sanity. The last few years had taken their toll on her, and it was all coming to a pinnacle now.

"Now Leonhart," Squall's attention returned to the President, as he kneeled beside Rinoa. "I think we're going to play a little game. It's called _which father is the greatest failure_."

The soldiers emerged from the library with General Caraway, handcuffs behind his back. They placed him in front of Mitchell. He fell to his knees when one of the guards hit him with a baton on the kneecaps. The cracking noise pierced the room; the scream of his pain echoed throughout. Rinoa wiped the tears from her eyes, as the sound brought her crashing into reality.

"_No, no,_" she whispered. "_No…_" Rinoa gathered what strength she could, standing up. Squall turned helping the fatigued woman to her feet. "_No…we just…we were going to start over. Squall…Caraway and I…_" Squall silently grabbed her hand, as their fingers intertwined. He could feel her nails cutting deep into his flesh, but did not stop her. The slow droplets of blood trickled to the ground.

Mitchell looked at the commander, "Too bad your old man isn't here. I think he would be the biggest failure. He had you for a son, didn't he? But I have to work with what pathetic material I have in front of me."

"Please," begged Caraway. "Let the child go… please…kill me… just don't harm her." The General looked up to the baby sleeping, being dangled over the railing. His grandchild, he finally saw her. Rinoa was going to stop by before they left…she looked like both of them. A mixture of both parents, and a part of Julia lived within her. "God, Rinoa she's beautiful…your mother would be so proud."

"Shut up," screamed Mitchell. "This isn't a family reunion. Now Squall, it works like this, you give me the sorceress; I spare your child. Simple."

"I will never choose," he screamed. "You will pay."

"Oh big words from a man not holding a weapon. Now it's Caraway's turn to play…" Mitchell walked forward, everyone in the room was silent, Rinoa held her breath. "Now General, if I asked you to choice between your daughter's life or granddaughters…who would you choose?"

"Neither," he gasped in pain. "You can kill me first."

The president leaned down whispering loudly, "Deal." And pulled out a 357 Magnum from its holster. Without hesitation, without another word…he put it to the side Caraway's head.

And fired. The gunshot echoed like thunder.

"Noooooo!" Rinoa screamed as she watched her father executed in front of her. It had to be a dream; she had to wake. The last two years, they couldn't have actually happened. Everything she ever wanted as a child was lost; she was lost. All because of her, all because she didn't turn herself in. Squall grabbed her tightly trying to restrain her, still in shock of what he had just witnessed. "He…never got to hold his granddaughter…Squall I promised him…damn it…I…promised!"

Mitchell placed the gun back into the holder, as blood splatter was heavily on his uniform. He didn't seem to notice…or care. "Leonhart, we have an opening that just came up on the Council if you know anyone interested." Then the bastard laughed. Rinoa couldn't take it any longer and started to move forward. She felt herself being restrained by a second person.

"Squall, Seifer, let me go. I have to…kill him." She was losing the battle within, and every part of her was being overtaken with power. Her power.

"Rinoa, stop…what are you doing? Allison," the blond man pleaded.

"I know it hurts like Hell Rinoa, control it… We have Allison to worry about; there will be time to mourn…later."

"But…but…" She hated the words, yet they rang true.

"I know." Squall answered calmly. "But you have to live to face tomorrow. You walk out there and both you and Allison are dead…he will do it. Without hesitation."

Squall was in his own world, one forced upon by years of training. To look at life as something passing, something trivial. He had to remain cool, or he would lose it. And he had too much to lose.

The others stood in a combination of shock and guilt. Their hearts felt empty; and each took blame upon themselves. Lost in a battle they had not wanted to fight.

Mitchell stepped disgustfully over the body, where pools of crimson blood covered the floor. He regarded the corpse as something thrown out, a human life no more than rubbish. So many visions of two years ago flooded the SeeD's minds, but now they were of Ellone. This time, it was no accident. There would be no mercy. "Well Leonhart, have you thought about it? Which one are you going to save?"

"There is no choice," he answered solemnly. "You don't want Allison…but you will kill her. Either way, I lose. They lose."

"Smart man."

Rinoa regained her equanimity, turning to Seifer and whispering in his ear. He nodded, with what appeared to be tears in his eyes. She stopped crying, regained her composure, and now was more the sorceress than the shadow of a teenager. Squall felt a hand resting on his arm; he turned toward the pressure. This time when their eyes met, she had a slight smile on her face. She was going to accept the inevitable.

"Squall…take care of Allison."

"Hell Rinoa, no…you can't," he interposed his voice shaking. His emotions were evident now; there was no hiding them.

She put her hand on his face, remembering the feeling. "I have to, it's my destiny…it always has been. I'd give my life for her."

Placing both arms around her, he pulled her into a deep embrace. For a moment, their hearts beat in unison, and they shared that moment. The feel of each other, the warmth. There was nobody else, no wars, no battles, and no death. Just two lovers holding each other until the end of time.

"Damn you!" Alex yelled at the man, breaking away from the others. "How can you do this? Allison needs her parents…please if you have any decency." Mitchell looked at her, and made his first movements to the group. Positive that not one would dare to harm him, the child meant too much.

"Decency?" he questioned walking the space between them. "You know, I had a whore named Allison once."

"Shut up," demeaned Alexandra. "That was my mother's name."

"I know." He laughed spitefully in her face. "She was _my whore_….Did you know that you were supposed to be murdered?"

"What?" The look in her eyes said it all. "No… My mother was in…"

"A prison in Esthar…yes… I know. It wasn't really a prison now was it? I might have carried the title warden, but we all knew it was a research facility. And she was a pretty good '_research_' subject, until she got herself pregnant."

In a flash, everything that Alexandra dreamed, the visions and feelings of her mother, the voices of the past trying to warn her, they all became clear. Portions of the dreams came upon her, like ocean waves to the shore. She could see her mother once again in the delivery room, someone called her name and she turned. The handgun pointed in her face…the feeling of the bullet entering her skull. Alex lived with all of it, and now she saw face of the man behind the gun. Until this moment, nothing had been clear.

"It was you…you killed her."

"Call it a hobby of mine." His answer smug and callous.

She started to lunge for him, as Zell and Seifer both stopped her. They knew she would be murdered too; this man had no morals. He had no use for her, blood relation or not. "Oh," he turned back, "Remember to buy me a tie on Father's Day."

The words sank in; it was true. This is what the dreams tried to tell her, yet she didn't understand. The voices of the dead spoke in riddles, and she wasn't able to clarify their warnings. When he learned that the baby did not posses the same powers as Ellone, Jeffery Mitchell ordered her put to death…just as he had done for so many others. Countless babies, countless lives…this man was beyond words. Her own biological father thought of her as nothing more than human waste, as he did everyone else in his game.

"Hey she's starting to wake up." A voice called through the near silence, making all turn to the balcony. "I'm not going to be able to hold her once she does. Plus, this is getting really boring."

Rinoa looked up at Squall, smiling. "I have to go now. Tell her that I love her; tell her the truth about us." Stepping away, she reached her hands up to his face once more. He could no longer control the tears. She wiped each one away with her fingers, delicately. Trying to remain clam. He reached down meeting his lips to hers, this was something never done. A public display of affection neither student nor instructor had ever seen from the commander.

Their kiss was full of emotions…the past, the present, and the future all in one. All the lies, all the betrayals, and finally all the truths went into this one defining moment. For them there was nothing else but each other lost in the feeling, lost in what would be their final memories. His hand reached to her neck, pulling her still closer. Never wanting the second to end.

Breathing wasn't important, only drowning in her.

Rinoa felt a powerful arm pulling her away. Knight and Sorceress never finished their kiss; it was something that would forever haunt them. Mitchell grabbed her from Squall's grasp, pulling her arm forcefully behind her back. He produced a pair of handcuffs, which were noticeably different from the ones that adorned Caraway's wrists. "Odine brand, you work for that bastard long enough, you come to appreciate his work. Now move."

He yanked her away. The restraints were so tight on her wrist, she could feel the metal digging through her skin into the bone. The powers were repressing themselves and for that, she was thankful. One wrong move and her daughter would be…gone. In one last moment of clarity she turned back to see Squall standing there.

His heart was breaking yet again. Her short hair clinging to her face, everything about her…she looked like someone else. It had to be someone else…this couldn't be happening. He finally found the courage to yell, "I love you." Not one person in that room could control their emotions, as all stood on weak legs.

In a strange turn of events, she yelled back, "And I trust you." She managed a small smile, no longer crying. She had accepted her fate, now she only hoped he would accept his.

To any other person it wouldn't have meant as much, but he knew it was so much more profound. She had lost her faith in him before, now gained it back. The words cut deep into his heart. She trusted him again…after everything. The witch-hunts, the marriage, and the lies…and goddamn it… she trusted him. Every mistake he had ever made, every one was forgiven with those simple words.

Squall Leonhart had earned his redemption.

* * *

Her head spun, the effects of the handcuffs taking over like a drug within her body. But she walked down the corridor, away from her knight…away from her daughter…away from all of them. The SeeDs all blended together, dark uniforms blurred. They stood like columns along the passageway. She could make out the shock on their faces, the confusion. The sorceress willingly allowed herself to go with these men…and she did it for only one reason, to save her daughter…that wasn't supposed to happen.

The one person they were trained to defeat seemed no more an enemy as any of them. They wanted to kill her yesterday, made fun of her only hours before. Now they saw something different, not a sorceress with power. A mother with love who would sacrifice all she held dear, and her life, for that of her daughter.

Rinoa chanced to notice the three SeeDs from early this afternoon. As their faces, she would never forget. Earlier they had belittled her, treated her like a common whore. Now there was a certain understanding in their eyes. Her eyes locked with the middle one of the three girls, the same one who had stood in her path earlier today.

"_I bet you're pleased at last_," Rinoa thought. "_I bet all of Garden is thrilled_."

But to her shock, the girl stared back at her and saluted. The other two, one on each side, slowly raised their hands into an official SeeD salute. The three girls stood in front of hundreds giving her what silent support they could. One by one, every SeeD followed slowly raising their hands.

The act so simple yet so meaningful. Hundreds of cadets, instructors, and SeeDs all honoring the one person they were trained to destroy.

Rinoa stopped walking a second just to take in the scene. Though her vision blurred she understood the significance. She was hit immediately in the head with the barrel of gun. The force made her crash to the ground, as she could not use her hands to break the fall.

"Stop it!" The yell of the commander was crystal-clear. He tried to run forward, but was grabbed by Irvine and Seifer.

"You have to let her go, there is still time." Seifer's words gave what little hope they offered. "You make one move and they execute Rinoa before you reach her."

"She wants it this way right now, for Allison," encouraged Irvine.

"Let go of me." Squall knocked both men with his arms, freeing himself of the hold. He watched as she was dragged to her feet. Crimson blood ran down her from her lip, going on to her clothing. He couldn't look any more, as he turned his attention back toward the upper balcony and Allison.

He was shocked to see that Lauren had disappeared during this time from her position, and nobody noticed. All too stunned with the scene before them. Immediately he turned running back to the stairway. When he reached the top, Allison was standing alone crying. Lauren was nowhere to be seen. He ran to her quickly, picking his daughter up. He felt a wave of relief he would have never known possible. He hugged her tightly, as her little arms wrapped around his neck for support. He leaned over giving her a solitary kiss to the forehead.

"Don't ever make me feel like that again." The words soft, but true.

"_Mama?_"

Squall looked at the girl with sorrow. How a child was just told today that she no longer had a father, now losing the only mother she ever knew. Somehow maybe he could catch her, before Mitchell took her back to Galbadia. He ran back down the steps, only to see the last traces of Rinoa and the others disappear into a helicopter outside. The commander stopped when he reached the rest of the group.

The helicopter blades roared as the machine took off into distant skies.

"_She's safe Rinoa, you did it, you saved Allison_," the commander whispered as tears fell from his eyes.

The only words heard in the silence was the loud cry of the child also watching…

"_Mama…Mama…!"_

* * *

 

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Two: Strife **

For a moment, the world disappeared. All the commander could see was a small speck in the distant horizon. What once was a helicopter, now a mere grain of sand upon the ocean of the skies. It faded into nothingness, as did his soul.

As quickly as she came, she was gone.

The child's cry finally brought him back to reality…one he was completely unsure of. His head tilted as he looked at the toddler, their eyes locked and the child suddenly stopped sobbing. He stared into his own eyes, a mirror of his own emotions. Both had lost the most important person in the world to them, and some mutual understanding passed between. Many would say it would be impossible to empathize with a child, the girl too immature to understand. But they would be wrong. Squall Leonhart was a man who hid his emotions, but no matter how hard he tried, it seemed to be impossible to hide them from the child in his arms.

He closed his eyes, pulling Allison to his chest. Her muffled cries finally faded, as her breathing returned to normal. She listened to soothing sound of his heartbeat, although at the moment it was racing. Squall held her, as if she was the last bit of sanity he had left, and she was. Ally was the one thing keeping him from completely losing all sense of reality.

"_I have to, it's my destiny…it always has been. I'd give my life for her_…"

"…I would too," he soberly whispered in his daughter's ear. "I'll give my life for you…and her. That will be my destiny. Allison you will see your mother again…I promise."

"_I trust you_." Her last words echoed in his mind.

"How? I failed you again…"

"No you didn't." He turned toward the voice, surprised anyone could hear his pleas. Quistis stood, smoothing down the little girl's hair. "She trusted you to protect Allison. You did that…it is all Rinoa ever wanted."

"Quistis…how…how do I go on?" It was a rare show of uncertainty from him, one not usually seen, nor heard by others. "I have to go after her…I can't lose her again…I can't."

"Squall stop. Don't do this right now. You have to get ready to leave for Esthar, you two will be safe there. This war is going to happen no matter what. Leave it to us to find her."

"You want me to go to Esthar? You think I can just walk out of here? After this…how could I do that! I have to be there to lead the battle. Mitchell took everything from me, and by gods, I will take _everything_ from him." The sharp reply was concurrent to his usual demeanor now returning, his few seconds of emotion being replaced with his normal persona.

"They haven't taken everything from you…yet. If you go after her, then they will." Selphie walked up next to Squall, offering her outlook on the situation. "Allison has a father and grandfather in Esthar…that is far more than any of us have. Don't take that away from her. Rinoa knew this all along. You seeking revenge is what she feared."

"So what? Do you all think I should run away? Run away like a child…like_ she _did two years ago." The last words didn't mean to slip out, but once they were said, there was no taking them back. "Oh God…I didn't mean that."

"Yes you did," added Alex walking forward. "Because you still regret her actions from that day, and you have not forgiven yourself for not going after her. For not believing. Right now, you don't know what to think. You are headstrong, and no matter what…you can't be wrong, but you place all the blame upon yourself at the same time…it's a paradox. It's who you are, it is what you were trained to be."

"I wasn't trained to be _anybody_," he hissed. "I am who I decide to be…and I decided to be her knight. For that, I will risk my life saving her."

"Squall," shouted Cid from across the room. "Get to your office. Mitchell's on a satellite phone demanding to speak to you right away."

* * *

The first thought that entered his head is they had already executed her, and he was calling in celebration. It made the bile rise from his stomach into his throat, but he kept his composure in front of his comrades. However, he reasoned that if she were dead, part of him would know it, as their connection had grown. He could feel her anguish, even in the corridor. When the barrel of the gun hit her, the knight felt the sting resonate within him. But the connection was now being repressed with the Odine cuffs. He quickly handed Allison to Alex, before hastily running the distance to his office. He was glad to be alone; no matter what…this was now his personal war.

"You bastard." Squall knew it wasn't the smartest way to start a conversation. But for once, he spoke his heart not his mind.

"_Nice to talk to you too Leonhart._"

"What, what do you want?" His anger outgrowing any sense of reasonability.

"_I just wanted to congratulate you on your role in capturing the sorceress. When the story breaks tomorrow in the Galbadian papers… I'll be sure to give you full credit. Your work ethic is to be commended_."

"You're delusional," he replied fervently. Then he found the courage to ask the one question he didn't want to hear the answer to. "What…what are you planning on doing with her? What good are her powers to you? She'll never help you."

Laughing echoed through the other end of the line, along with the sounds of the chopper blades. "You really think I am going to keep her around? I mean she might be a good screw but after that, she's useless… Monday afternoon she will be executed live on television."

"You fucking bastard." Picking up a stapler, Squall threw it across the room. "Damn it, don't…I beg you don't."

"_Oh the mighty lion begging to me? This is only the beginning Squall…I could have killed you, but watching you suffer is a far better game. The moment that life leaves her body, you will never forgive yourself. In her last dying breath, will it be you she thinks of… you and your failure?_"

His body was shaking; never had he hated so much. Never had he wanted to kill someone out of pure rage. Never had he become someone no better than Bennett or Mitchell. He was turning into them, his hate driving his actions. "Why us? Why Ellone?"

"_Oh you mean the attack two years ago? That…that was a comedy of errors. However, it turned out for the best. It just took me a little longer than I planned_…"

"Comedy of errors…Ellone is dead! You came here to kill Rinoa then, to ruin everything I had. Why can't you leave us alone?"

"_Oh Mr. Leonhart you are confused. Galbadia didn't attack two years ago to kill Rinoa…far from it. We were there to kill you_."

"What?" The answer took him back.

"_Oh it was a perfect plan, Lauren made sure we knew the location of Garden. You were to be executed in your office…Rinoa's blood would have been found. Everyone including Garden would be asking…no demanding her death. It was simple your blood was to be planted on her and hers on you…elementary really._"

"The vials…" Squall realized their intentions. With him gone, Rinoa wouldn't stand a chance, the hate within her easily driving her to the darker side. But when she ran she changed their plans, and ultimately not only saved her life…_but his_. They needed Squall alive…if only to find Rinoa. In time she would come back…they knew it.

"You had Lauren switch the blood samples. God, the answers were with me all along."

"_Yes, it would have been easier then, we wouldn't have to kill Sorceress Heartilly. Now, your connection is too great. Your bond is too strong. So now…she dies, I have already handpicked her replacement. The powers will transfer at the execution…and then, all will be mine._"

"All _what_ you bastard? What more power do you want? You have a country and the World Council at your disposal."

"_Yes, I suppose so Mr. Leonhart. But when you beg for your life, and look upon me with utter terror, and I alone decide your fate…then I will have all the power I want._"

"Never."

"_You'll come after her. It's not in your nature to run…you'll fight until every ounce of blood has drained from your body. Until you are more of a corpse than General Caraway. Don't bother sneaking in the Presidential Palace, I will gladly have the guards let you in…I'll reserve a front-row seat in your honor at her execution. So when she takes that dying breath, it will be your eyes she looks into…and only sees failure._"

"You…" he was cut off as the line went dead. Pulling the phone from the wall, he tossed it in the same direction as the stapler. He felt so alone, so lost. No matter what he seemed to do, it was wrong. In his heart, he wanted to go after her, save her…be the hero. But that was never how things went for them. They were the tragic love story, the one that could never have the 'happy ending.' Yet if he left for Esthar, he could save Allison. But how could he live with himself? It was what she wanted. It was something he promised her. From their first night in the cabin, together, he could feel her pain. Now his hatred was controlling him, and in battle, emotion can be used against you. And he had promised her...

* * *

Walking into the chapel, he first noticed the simplicity of the room. It wasn't here when he attended, but truthfully, it was always needed. Leonhart at least got _one thing_ right as commander. Seifer wasn't a religious man, or one to ask for forgiveness from the gods. He almost felt a sense of guilt even walking into the room, but at that moment, he really had no other place to go. Sitting down on one of the pews, he picked up a small book that lay next to him. He glanced at it only casually before setting back on the bench. He didn't know what he wanted to find here, peace, tranquility…or something unknown. The sounds of heels clicking on the wooden floorboards made his body tense, a sound of boots that he had grown used to the last few days.

She remained silent, sitting down next to him. He could smell her perfume, and the scent of her strawberry shampoo. But right now, even her being there didn't seem to help his disposition. He felt like a failure too, the minute Rinoa left a prisoner a part of him died. She was his friend, and somebody he still cared for. Someone who had a hard life, but always tried to be optimistic, almost to the point of insanity. That summer they had talked a lot, it was what they did best…a stark contrast to her and Squall's relationship.

"I can't imagine having your entire life crumble like that, in one instant," he finally spoke.

"I know." Quistis closed her eyes, trying not to let the guilt consume her.

"To watch your father executed, to see your child almost dropped thirty feet to the concrete. To watch the only person you ever loved have his heart ripped out."

This time, she said nothing. No words she could articulate would make the situation less difficult. Pushing her hair back, she looked down at her hands, the ones still shaking from earlier today. Hands that had seen battle by the age of thirteen…hands that had killed by fourteen. Hands that had sinned, since the moment she walked into Garden. She didn't deserve to be in this chapel; in her mind, she was as guilty as Mitchell. Fighting for the highest bidder, never having the morals to stand for what she truly believed. Rinoa had…she fought from her heart over the liberation of Timber. Maybe now, the difference between them was becoming more lucid…and why Squall saw the distinction all those years ago.

"I never really have felt comfortable around organized religious settings," admitted Seifer. "I find that most tend to be hypocritical, at least from the stand point of an ex-knight."

Quistis chuckled from the incongruity in the statement. "Like the fact that I never show up here until someone is sick, dying or dead… Then expect the Gods to listen to my request. I always promise if they grant me this one thing, I will be faithful to them and change my life...and then I go on as before…until something else comes up."

He looked at her with a small grin, "Yeah something like that. We only ask for something when we need it. Heck, I'm not even sure what I believe, but you had better believe if I thought this was the end…I would be asking forgiveness. When…I should have done that long before."

Looking over at him she asked, "Seifer, isn't that why you came back to Garden? To repent for your sins? Not to the Gods, but to those who you had wronged?"

"I suppose, but I think I committed ten more sins in the process." His tone lightened up, and she elbowed him in the stomach. "Okay, at least two."

Her laughter almost turned into tears. "So this is it, huh? This is how it is written for us…for them. They didn't deserve this…and what becomes of Allison if Squall doesn't make it through?"

"She goes on."

"That's kind of cryptic, isn't it Seifer?"

"No, not really. We could compare our childhood to Allison's…but really, there is no comparison. She still has family…_us_. Plus, I'm guessing Alexandra would take her back to Esthar…maybe then Laguna will get his second chance. We all deserve that, right? You and I should know that better than anyone. But Allison is lucky; she will always know the truth about her parents. Who they were and that she was born as a product of their love. She will know their names, and know of them, and know how much she was loved…none of us can claim that….except for Squall."

"But how do you know Squall is going to go after her? He promised Rinoa he would stay…"

"Because even she knew."

"What?"

Seifer reached for something in his pocket. A metallic object shined brightly even through the dim lighting. "She gave me this before Mitchell took her away. I was told to give it to Alexandra…because she knew Squall would come. She isn't blind, she knows he won't listen…it's his nature, it's his curse. Her last words to me…look after Squall when he comes to Galbadia… Strange right? I was told to look after the same person I wanted to kill, the guy I scarred for life." He placed the Griever ring in the palm of Quistis' hand. "We all go after Rinoa, and we all win or we all fail…nobody stays behind. Just like your group when you fought Ultimecia."

Shaking her head at the thought, her blue eyes met with his. "Why is Mitchell far more terrifying than Ultimecia? Why do I feel an apprehension with him that I never had with her?"

"Mitchell is mortal, and because of that he is more dangerous. He might think himself mightier, but he will not underestimate our capability or determination. Ultimecia believed that she was unbeatable and because of that, she was arrogant. Mitchell doesn't rely on magic or monsters to win. He flourishes on our emotions, our deepest fears. That is far more dangerous than any sorceress is. He can think…he can plan…and he is waiting for us."

She silently digested his words, and took them to heart. All of that was true, and she knew it…but one more reason came into her mind. She wasn't sure if she should voice her opinion or not, but before she knew it, the words came out. "Seifer, I was also younger back then, and thought I could take on the world. But now, I am older…and learned what is important. I think this time, I'm scared…because for the first time I have something more to lose than my life…I have you."

The words shocked him for a moment, but he couldn't deny the same. "I'm scared of losing you too… I have never felt…well I mean Fujin and Raijin, but this is different. The price to pay for failure is far greater this time. I can't lose you either, or I might as well die with you."

He slowly reached and put his arm around her, as she placed her head on his shoulder. Closing her eyes, she gripped the ring tightly. "Until the end…we will fight for redemption until the bitter end…even if it means our lives…_together_."

* * *

The blue skies seemed endless, as did the oceanic waters below. The two colors only reflected off the distant horizon as the roar of the blades cut the air like knives. The chopper was an old Galbadian military issue, Rinoa spent many hours playing on them. Her father never cared, and early childhood hours were spent with the soldiers teaching her about the equipment. She would pretend she was flying; it was almost like a childhood playhouse. Now, those same soldiers wished her dead.

The effects of the handcuffs were equal to a hallucinogen. She found herself watching the water below, lost in its shimmer. Rinoa heard someone snapping, but she didn't have the strength or the will to lift her head. The next thing she felt, more like heard, was a rigid slap across the face. She registered that it should hurt, but still there wasn't much pain. Only a slight sting, although it did direct her attention toward the source of the sound.

"I got off the phone with your boyfriend a little while ago…he says hello." Mitchell laughed at her weakened state. How could any one with so much power allow this to happen? It was almost a shame, if he had gotten to her two years ago, she could have been an exalted ruler. Now she was just a shell of a human being, not even worth the cost of the gas to reach Garden.

"…Squall," she managed in her drunk-like state.

"Oh you are a winner… What did he ever see in you? Hyne, even Squall Leonhart would have had great potential had he not fallen for someone as wretched as you."

"You turned him into an uptight bastard," echoed a second voice sitting next to Rinoa.

"Now Lauren, let's not put too much blame on her…he was already an uptight bastard before she got there."

"How much longer anyhow until we land? I never was one for flying, and this open-aired military copter is less than appealing."

Mitchell raised an eyebrow. "You really did good back there. I'm proud of you...for that at least."

"Thanks, you know how much I love you…and I can't wait until I'm the new sorceress, together we can take over the world."

"Yes, I am planning to take over the world…but not with you."

"What?" The confusion and distress evident in her voice. "What are you talking about Jefferson?"

"Well, being in a position such as myself, I am forced to do things that I don't want to. One of those things was being with you. You were good in bed, and I had a great time posing for the pictures. But you were nothing more than an opportunity. I needed you…and for the last three years, you did well. Except one thing…you let her get away…and I don't accept any form of failure."

"But…but I found her again. You said you loved me… you said if I did this we would be together."

"I lied," he said smugly. "Now, for your failures you shall suffer. Again, he pulled out his handgun and aimed it toward her. "Any last words?"

"But…I love you…"

"Your mistake." He pulled the trigger two times, each hitting her in the stomach. "You know… I heard this is one of the most gradual, excruciating ways to die…let me know if that is true." Placing the gun back in the holster, he opened the small hatch to where the pilot was seated. Rinoa turned as the shots fired; she could barely make out the collapsed figure on the floor. The sight gave her a small bit of clarity, images of her father raced into her memory.

"No, no…" She gasped out, mentally picturing Caraway's execution.

"Help me…." Lauren's faint cries were barely audible above the propellers. Rinoa looked down at the girl, and saw images of herself in the last few years. In a way, they were similar, each doing what they did out of love…but Rinoa managed to remain true to her beliefs. Rinoa's love was real; Lauren fell for an illusion.

"I…can't," murmured Rinoa. "I have no powers… _I have nothing_." The tears were streaking down her cheeks. The dirt from the air hitting her in the face each grain stinging against her skin… she tried not to think about the girl dying before her eyes. She could taste her salty tears mixed with the grit from the helicopter, and the smell of fuel that filled her senses.

The woman on the ground was coughing up blood; streaks ran down the side of her mouth. Rinoa had been in battle long enough to know the torture she was going through…the slow death of drowning in her own fluid. The metallic taste that would be overwhelming her senses…her taste, her smell.

"Please," begged Lauren. "If you can't save me…help me make the pain stop."

Rinoa tried to lean forward only to realize that she was bound not only by the handcuffs, but by also anchored to the body of the helicopter. Managing to get her feet out far enough, she used the entire force of her body, guiding Lauren to the edge.

"Please…" begged Lauren once again. Their eyes locked, as one moment of lucidity returned to the sorceress. It was the only way either could stop the pain. Rinoa closed her eyes, giving one more forceful push, until the mortally wounded body fell from the chopper. She couldn't fight back the tears, or the pain. She had just help kill somebody, aiding them in taking their final breaths. She tried to comfort herself that it was for the best. It would be quick… It was of little comfort. Rinoa looked back to see a darkened object in the surf below, she never even heard the body hit the water.

"Forgive me." She closed her eyes, as she had now become what they had all feared. A murderer.

* * *

It was dark, he had no idea what time it was. The hours passed, ticked away without remorse. Every second was torture to him. He looked out into the shadowed sky once again, not sure what he was searching for, but whatever it was…wasn't there. The night air was of little refreshment, it only caused him more sorrow. The commander reached to his chest grabbing the chain around his neck, feeling the coolness in contrast to his skin.

She knew this was coming; Rinoa foresaw it. However, he dismissed it, as he dismissed everything about her in the past.

Now his friends were going to be risking their lives once again because of his mistakes. He could see her smile etched in his heart; he could see her playing on the floor with Allison. He could feel her skin upon his…the memories were going to consume him. This happened two years ago, and look at the monster he turned into. A bitter man full of abhorrence and remorse, but not again.

_Not again._

He quickly walked back into his office, turning on his computer monitor. There was a risk going after her, but he would be no better off if he didn't try. The blame would completely consume him within a year…regret would swallow him. He looked at the blank pages of the word processor, unsure of where to start…or even how to start. He only knew that maybe, he could leave one small thing to his daughter. The truth, their legacy and hers… He wasn't good at sentiments, but he knew Rinoa would want him to do this…at the very least.

For the next four hours, he typed a letter to Allison. Telling her about the moment he first saw her mother, to the moment she was taken away. The mistakes they made, the love they shared. Everything he could type from his heart. He was going to leave Allison something he couldn't offer to anyone but to her or Rinoa…_himself_.

* * *

**** 

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Three: Crusade **

A freedom fighter at sixteen, they fell in love at seventeen, she stayed at eighteen, they fell apart at nineteen, at twenty she left, a mother at twenty-one, and at twenty-two…she will be executed. The daughter of a Galbadian General, a man who cared more about his career than his family. The daughter of a singer who was taken away before her fifth birthday. A life that sounds glamorous to most but those who knew of it, anything but. Her father drank, and her mother let him. Two people trapped in a marriage neither wanted. She 'divorced' her father, taking her mother's name, hoping it would forever remind him of his devotion…to his career.

A world hero. And for all her pain what did she get? Power she didn't want, a life abused by a tyrant, and hunted like prey. She watched her father executed in cold blood, her child's life threatened by the Galbadian President.

But most of all,_ in Squall's mind_, the biggest fault was loving him and all the baggage that followed. What was he to her? What had he caused but grief and sorrow? Dragged her into a battle that was not hers, but one of SeeD. One where she was no longer the only collateral damage, but so was the man who gave her life. The same man who just lost his…

He never liked the chapel. Maybe because it was built on the memories of his nightmares. Squall Leonhart wasn't exactly a religious man, in fact quite the opposite. He liked believing in what he could see: facts, science, and concrete evidence. Hell, he would have not believed in a sorceress had he not loved one. His dreams ripped away within a second, stolen by a mere mortal full of abhorrence. But, he could believe in that, hatred is always easier than love.

One can always _see_ hatred, especially those who had consumed themselves within its grasp.

He walked into the small room, taking note of how he had just done this almost a week ago for Ellone. Now it was time to mourn another, one he also admired and respected. Caraway and he always had their differences, from their very first encounter until almost their very last. However, if there was one thing they could agree on…_correction_…two things they could agree on, it would be that of love. And of the people contained within their cynical, military hearts.

_Rinoa and Allison._

A pain ran through his chest when he stared at the deep-mahogany casket spread in front of him. How could he not have seen this coming? What a great fucking leader he turned out to be. He belittled himself until he almost wanted to cry…but crying was weakness, and he would not submit. If not for Rinoa, then for Allison.

Walking up, he ran his fingers over the wood, feeling the grain. He wasn't even sure what he was doing anymore; for the last hours he had just been on autopilot, training prevailing where conscience lacked.

"I failed." The words echoed through the room as he closed his eyes. "I'm sor-" He quickly stopped, realizing he said the one thing Rinoa would have despised hearing from his lips. "No…I won't say _it_, I won't." He fought back the tears trying to form, looking down at the casket. "I'll get your daughter back. The only person who will be sorry will be Mitchell. I will kill him with my bare hands. I swear to you."

He noticed that someone had cautiously laid the Galbadian flag across the casket. General Caraway was in true military detail right down to the end. This man had served his country, but now his country had turned its back on him, executing him and his daughter. He looked at the symbol of the Galbadian Republic staring tauntingly at his pride. Without a second thought, he grabbed the flag from its resting place and threw it to the ground, as if it was a serpent of evil. He would not desecrate the memory of this man with that flag, _that country_.

"Excuse me, commander?" A solitary voice spoke up through his agony. "Is there a problem in here?"

"Yes!" He snapped before realizing. "There is a goddamned problem. Who put this flag on here?"

"I did, commander Sir!"

"Why?"

"Section 4, article 27: All non-SeeD military personal that perish during battle in cooperation with SeeD are to be treated as dignities of their homelands. All burial arrangements are to be followed to their national custom, even if this is in direct contrast to the conduct of SeeD. Their rites and rituals will be honored above those of Garden."

"What is your name and rank?"

"Sir?"

"It's a question. Answer it."

"Um…I'm Alonia, SeeD rank 14 Senior, Diplomatic Relation Corp."

"Diplomatic relations, huh? Well, where are relations with Galbadia at this moment?"

"Sir…at this moment we are engaging in battle with Galbadia and its territories."

"…And who the hell shot General Caraway?"

"Well that would be…President Mitchell…_of Galbadia_."

"Go get a SeeD flag."

"Sir, that is against regulations."

"Forget regulations, get a flag! I'm commander here, no matter what you would like to think…I have not relinquished any authority. I am ordering you to treat this man as a SeeD…of equal rank as Cid Kramer or me. He gave his life in honor of Garden, not for Galbadia. He is a SeeD in my eyes."

"Yes Sir!" The girl walked away leaving Squall to his own tortured thoughts.

"Wow, you really have a way with people." A feminine voice spoke from behind. Turning, Squall saw Alexandra standing there holding Allison on her hip. The little girl was content holding a stuffed Cactuar, oblivious to all the pain around her. "No wonder you have a huge internet following."

"Whatever."

"Oh yes, speech team captain also?"

"Do you have a reason for being here, except to annoy the hell out of me? If you were anybody else, you would be on latrine duty for a year. I just want to be left alone."

"Actually Squall…_you_ asked me to bring your daughter. I was just saying that you didn't need to be so hard on that girl. As much as you dislike Galbadia, Caraway did give his life serving his country. It's only natural to associate him with the Galbadian flag."

"Do you make it a point to listen in on others conversations?" He said more than a little infuriated.

"Well it actually got me this far, but no. Your voice was carrying out into the hallway, trust me…it wasn't hard to miss it."

"May I please have Allison?"

Alexandra looked at the girl in her hands, rubbing her shoulder. "Hey honey, Aunt Alex is going to go take a nap…and I know how much you don't like those." The little girl shook her head, a slight look of nervousness taking over. "Well, Squall here said he would look after you for a bit, so you don't have to take a nap…sound good?" The little girl smiled in agreement, giving a sly look toward her father. Alex gave the girl a slight kiss on the head, before setting her down.

Ally looked at her _Aunt_ and then to Squall. She squeezed the Cactuar in her hands, as if it gave her a sense of comfort. Squall kneeled down to her level, looking her in the eye.

"What do you have there?"

"_Acter_"

"Oh, Cactuar," he interrupted. "Who gave you that?"

"_Effie_."

"Well that was really nice of Selphie, wasn't it? Did you ever know that your mommy and I met Cactuar?" The little girl looked at him as if he was speaking a foreign language. "Allison, I will tell you about it sometime, but right now I want you to meet somebody very special, okay?"

The little girl closed the steps between them before offering her arms to him. Somehow, the reaction was involuntary, as his arms circled around the girl giving her comfort. He closed his eyes for a moment, amazed that something so small, so precious was actually part of him. Of all the mistakes he ever made, he finally got something right.

Alex watched as the sight warmed her heart. She only wished Rinoa could have seen it, how easily he was handling the situation. The older girl smiled at him when he opened his eyes. Nodding, Alexandra walked off, leaving the commander to fulfill a promise that Rinoa made only yesterday to a man no longer here today.

Picking up the girl in his arms, Squall stared at the casket. Somehow the words were right there, yet nothing came out. No matter how he said them, their true meaning could never be conveyed. He fought against the most simplistic of emotions, to run, to forget this entire thing. It would be easier, but it would never be better.

"…Allison I want to introduce you to someone special." His voice cracked not sure how he was going to manage, "…um…this is your grandfather, _General Caraway_. He was mommy's daddy."

As he suspected, the little girl didn't comprehend much of the situation. She seemed more concerned about Squall, and how he was reacting. She silently watched him, never paying attention to the casket.

"He…was killed yesterday… _Oh Hyne_." He looked upwards toward the ceiling, "How Rinoa, how?"

She continued her interrogating stare at him, starting to mimic his emotions. As he looked toward the coffin, he sorrowfully offered to Caraway, "You would have loved her. I can see so much of your daughter in her…all the best parts. You can be proud, I know I am."

He felt the slight pressure of something on his chest, looking down he saw Allison pressing the Cactuar against him. She was offering him all she had, to make him feel better. Reaching to the stuffed guardian, he gave it a small kiss before handing it back to her. "I feel better now Ally, thank you. Thank you for everything. But…"

In the history of Squall Leonhart there was always a _'but'_. Nothing was ever simple, nothing planned out. Dreams that could not unravel within lies, always haunting him. An answer was just the beginning to the questions feared to ask. He could take the road Rinoa planned, or he could take his own. One with grave consequence and unsure future…he wanted nothing more than to follow her last requests. _But…_that was not him. _But…_that was not his nature. _But_…as much as he tried, Squall Leonhart was nothing without her. He was learning to open his heart to his daughter, _but_…he could never be complete without her mother. And that in time would turn him into a bitter, vindictive person.

"_But_ Allison…I have to find her or die trying. You will always be loved more than you could ever know."

* * *

"So this is when Prince Charming comes in for the dramatic rescue?" He pointed to a blueprint of a building, signaling out a hallway section.

"Seifer," Quistis rolled her eyes. "How do you do it? Seriously how can you be so…well, _you_?"

"Because," his tone was unpredictably serious. "It's all I can be. If I stop being me, then I don't know who I am. It's all I have left, for good or for bad. And right now we need everything we can get…plus sometimes it's easier than facing the truth."

Her eyes met his in understanding, before a smile formed across her lips. "Yes, as far as I know…that is where _Prince Charming _comes in. The trick is going to be getting in there undetected. Mitchell will be ready for us, he will be ready for an entire garrison to storm the palace."

"So, we surprise him."

"Wow, I can't believe you never became SeeD with that logic."

"See instructor, how easy sarcasm can be if given the right stimuli? Anyway…let's do the one thing that will throw a bombshell into his plan, no matter what he said yesterday."

"And that is?"

"Squall Leonhart walks right through the front doors. No arsenal, no weapon on his person, just him. What will catch someone like Mitchell off guard is to have the one person he fears most…watching him. Waiting. It's like chess; you wait for your opponent's next move. What they don't know is that while they are protecting their Queen, one of your little pawns massacres the King."

"I don't remember chess being quite that violent."

"You never played with me then. It's all or nothing, we set our best _piece_ right in front of him."

"This allows him to let his guard down." She crossed her arms, as the realization was sinking in.

"Exactly."

"So how do we get the other 'pawns' in there? That place will be sealed tighter than a tomb."

"Do you remember Timber, with Vinzer Deling? They had to use _that _station because of the high definition television. Now, that is commonplace…so they can broadcast live right from Deling, which is exactly their intent. Every one of the presidential employees are screened, Mitchell's officials know everything. Down to if a person on the staff has a cold. But television crews are union, and they are sent from the local station. I have a few associations who I've been in communication with…we will be there in time for the execution."

A cold chill ran through Quistis. She closed her eyes, tormenting thoughts of Rinoa being publicly executed played eternally in her head. Slowly, she started slipping away into a sea of regret, as breathing became more of a task. _Squall_…if he did survive and Rinoa didn't… He would be lost. The horror of watching her put to death… Quistis could still see her eyes filled with such hurt and sorrow. Her brown eyes…the ones that she caused this pain upon…the ones…

"Hey, come back to me." A firm voice spoke. When she snapped out of her nightmarish visions, she could feel his arms cradling her. For a moment, she took comfort in his actions, giving into the weakness she felt.

"I…just kinda felt lightheaded there, sorry."

"It's okay. Let's not think about tomorrow right now, okay? We can only concentrate on today. As someone very wise once told me…leave tomorrow for tomorrow."

* * *

If ever there was somewhere in between reality and fantasy, it was where she was right now. Images blurred among other blurred objects…every one of them foreign. Where was she? How did she get here? Hell, right now she wasn't sure she knew who she was. However, she knew she didn't belong here…wherever _here_ was.

She reached out trying to gain the stability to pull herself into a sitting position. It took all the strength she had, plus more she didn't have. She ended up leaning against a wall, well it felt like a wall. When her head made contact with the surface, she immediately felt a sharp pain stab resonate through her skull. She let out a gasp as the pain slowly let up, but never went away.

"Good afternoon there, _princess_, I hope the accommodations are to your liking?"

She squinted toward the voice, as a solid object slowly formed in front of her. Bits and pieces came back…Garden, helicopter, a long hallway. Mitchell, she resigned to the fact this was the President of Galbadia standing there. Ironic how he looked pretty much like the blur of the trashcan at the moment.

"We hope you enjoy your stay in Deling, no matter how short it may be."

"When?" She finally gasped out, accepting the inevitable.

"Tomorrow afternoon. Heck, your execution is going to be a national event…who knows maybe we will have an annual holiday in your honor."

"I'm flattered." Her vision started focusing and she could make out more of her surroundings, although there wasn't much around.

"Oh what you are feeling is the lingering effects of the Odine cuffs. That feeling should clear up completely within a few hours. Your powers are still quite repressed, but we want you to be completely alert for tomorrow's big appearance. You can thank Odine for the clarity also."

Shaking her head, the realization of the moment came to her. And of what she left behind. "Allison?" she asked in confusion.

"Oh doing fine, thanks to you. I figure you've already been replaced as mommy by now. I'm sure Quistis is doing a great job of filling that position too. Does it kill you to think that she is sleeping with Squall and kissing your daughter goodnight?"

"Shut up!" She screamed through the pain.

"Oooh…very feisty, I like that. I wish I could get to know you a little better right now, but unfortunately, duty calls." He walked over to her leaning down and forcefully kissed her; she tried unsuccessfully to pull away. As a final indignity, he moved his hand under her shirt cupping her breast. She wanted to scream, but she could barely register what was happening. The contact of his skin against hers burnt like acid. She had felt this too many times. She tried desperately to fight him off, and felt a great relief when he pulled away. "Hey you know, Leonhart was screwing around on you, turn about is fair play in my book."

When he left, she collapsed back down on the cement floor. She curled up into a fetal position, gently rocking herself, as she had done too many times before. For the first time, she wished time would pass…and that this nightmare would just be over. She couldn't take much more. Every moment was a battle to hold onto the earth, for the first time…she wished she would just fall away.

* * *

He moved back and forth like a dance, a dance of the body, each movement precise and choreographed, each movement an art. In all his years of training, somehow working out in solitary made him find such inner peace. It was a sharp contrast to his persona. He was always the lively one, the one who was 'supposed' to be the life of the party. But that was _before_, and this was _after_.

She stood and watched the martial artist, not sure of how to break his rhythm. Or even if she should. Finally, he noticed her standing there unsure, and stopped his workout. Zell grabbed a nearby towel, wiping off the sweat from his face.

"Hiya Alex, what brings you up here?"

"Do you always workout in an empty ballroom?" She gestured to the grand hall, and gave him a bewildered look of amusement. "I thought they have a training area for that?"

"Yeah, they do. If you want to run into a T-Rex or a bunch of cadets, I believe the latter is worse."

"I see," she replied then went into a look of utter seriousness. "Really, I am sorry for bothering you. But I need to talk to someone, and I think you may be the only person who can relate."

"Sure, what you need?" He led her over to a cushioned bench that rested below a grand window. Alex avoided his eyes, and turned to look out as the ocean and sky met at the horizon.

"The dream…_the vision_."

"Yeah," he said lowering his head. "It always comes back to that, doesn't it?"

"I think so…it got us this far. I keep playing it over in my mind…the lake, the blood, everything. I just don't know if there is something we are missing."

"Well Alex, as much as I can figure, everything is covered…except for Ellone, but I am gathering she is just saying goodbye." He paused looking at her chain; he reached out grabbing the metal ring. "This made me realize not to let them hurt you and Allison…well Allison explains the child."

"I know." She watched him as he let go of the necklace turning away. "But is that it? Did we come this far just to lose?"

"Don't say that. We haven't lost anything yet. I mean it isn't like she is going to be executed until tomorrow."

"Wait!" Alex jumped up, startling Zell. "That's right! She is to be executed tomorrow, but what did we see in the vision?"

"That…she was stabbed with a gunblade. So…either that means something goes very wrong or one of them will kill…"

"No," Alexandra insisted. "That means we know _how_ to change it now. Tomorrow neither Seifer nor Squall take their primary weapons, they stay here at Garden. So they learn to fight a battle without them, I think they will understand. If it was a warning, maybe it can be changed."

* * *

_Have you ever closed your eyes and wondered how you arrived at this point? What defining moment changed everything, for better or for worse? Was this was what your life was ordained to be? Was this the great plan Hyne had in our stars?_

_Somehow, I always felt different from the rest. Even at the orphanage, to the moment I made instructor…I was an outcast, if only in my mind. Sure, I was adopted…but that failed. What greater hurt could there be than not only being discarded by one set of parents, but by two? All right, that isn't fair I know…my real parents might have never had a choice. However, I don't know. And the not knowing is something that will forever weigh heavily upon my heart, my soul. _

_But the Trepe's…that I know. _

_I wasn't good enough for them. So like the rest, I was sent to Garden. I understand it was my destiny to be reunited with my orphanage family. But why in Gods name couldn't the others have still loved me? Zell had the privilege; he was loved by his adoptive family and still was accepted into Garden. But, I am not him; I am me._

_And who am I?_

_Quistis Trepe, Quistis Leonhart, Instructor Leonhart? Hell, I don't even care anymore. I suppose after so much one learns they are all titles, but have no meaning. When I look in a mirror, I see me…for who I am. And so does he. _

_The one I once stood against, now I lay with. The one I used to lie with, now I stand with. Two men, two different roads onto the same path…two men who shall both live or die tomorrow._

_If I close my eyes, will the world fade into nothingness? Will my life be more than a mere epitaph? Tomorrow, yes tomorrow, we will end this once and for all. _

_For redemption. For family. For love…we will fight. _

_The blood will always be upon my hands, but maybe a part of us can move on. All the crimson lies that started with me, shall end in truth._

* * *

**** 

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Four: Truculence **

Squall Leonhart did not believe in miracles. Chance, fate, luck…_maybe_. He felt the gentle wind hit his skin, letting every sensation register. If this was going to be his last night upon these sands, he would remember everything, the good and the bad. He loved her. _Simple_. Theirs was a love that could never be described in mere words. A union so strong that he was sure it would survive after their time on this plane passed, one that would transcend both heaven and hell into a realm where they would be together. A place of no hurt, no doubt, and no lies. One where he would have been present at the moment his daughter entered this earth; one where he would have looked into her eyes upon _their_ wedding day. One of the life that should have been, not the morbid shadow he was living within. Maybe in another life that world existed, but not in this one.

Garden held so many memories for him, but nothing could compare to the memories of her. Seven days ago, he stood on this balcony…never knowing that a week would change his life so deeply. Even Squall was shocked when he found himself back at his and Quistis' apartment. It wasn't his intention, but right now he didn't know where to go. Moreover, what few possessions he did own he wanted to gather from this residence. On the patio table lay a small box. Nothing extraordinary to an onlooker, but to him it was his life. His complete existence seemed to fit within a meager shoebox, and the thought troubled him deeply.

Never had he thought about his legacy. Legacy? Squall Leonhart? The words were an oxymoron unto themselves. One week ago, he would have been happy fading into the darkness of the oblivion, but now he had a responsibility. One to his daughter. Maybe his one saving grace to her, would be that she wouldn't turn out like him - bitter, angry…_alone_. Maybe if she knew she was conceived in love, born to parents who would give their lives for her, she could live the peace he never could, the doubt would forever remain at bay.

He reached for the silver chain around his neck, and closed his eyes as he felt the single platinum band. He memorized it, he reveled in it, and the feeling became part of him. His mind raced back to that evening at the cabin where Rinoa gave it to him…then gave her heart and body back to him. It was a world ago, another lifetime past, but in reality it had only been a few short days. A week ago, he was the Commander of SeeD and a husband; today he was a knight and a father.

_One week. One eternity. _

In the mocking stillness of the breeze, he took off the chain clasping it tightly in his palm. Walking over to the table, he gently placed the chain and ring in a velvety box. Attempting to fight back the tears, his thoughts tried to remain true to the warrior that his body betrayed.

"Feel my heart, you'll see the truth. And my last thoughts will be of forever. _With you_." The soft words she had read to him that first night at Garden echoed through his memories. Squall didn't realize he spoke the words aloud, shocked to hear another voice speak from the stealth of night.

"Squall, what did you just say?"

He instantaneously froze, before turning to see an all too familiar sight. Quistis his wife by his own lies, standing before him. She looked sad, yet peaceful at the same time. The sorrow that had become commonplace seemed to have disappeared, unless she had hidden it deep within her soul. And Quistis wasn't that good at hiding her true emotions.

"Nothing," he answered not with spite in his voice, just emotionless. "I just was…nothing."

He turned back toward the darkening heavens, almost embarrassed that she had caught him. Somehow, when she arrived a defensive barrier once again arose. Instinctively, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes that he kept within his jacket. Squall looked at the cigarettes in his hand without acknowledging her. He clutched them as for dear life as he put his free hand on the balcony rail. The charcoal gray sky caught his attention, as if it were mocking his life.

No matter what had happened between them, she despised seeing him like this. "Squall, please…I know it's hard, but we are committed to this, live or die. We will save her…"

He only shook his head, wishing for the solitude which he so desired, "Whatever."

Quistis understood, for the first time in so long…she understood him. She looked down at the container placed on the patio table. A few scattered pictures, computer disks that were visible and small jewelry box. The chain she wore suddenly seemed a huge weight upon her chest. Reaching up, she felt the outline of the Griever pendant. The one thing that Squall had given her, not in marriage or love, but in understanding. Somehow, she realized now, the strength, that he wanted her to draw from it, was within her all along. The one part of him that she had, she no longer desired. She didn't have the right…nor did she ever.

"It's getting cold, and I want to be alone." The emotionless attitude reminded her of so many past nights.

"Are you going to be all right?" The question was dim-witted, even she knew that, but sometimes she spoke without thinking…call it a curse.

"No, not until she is with me."

"Squall…" Quistis slowly took off her pendant, looking at the detail of the etched metal one last time. She felt the heaviness lift from her body, both physically and mentally. He turned to her, not sure of what she was doing until she offered her closed hand to him. The heavy chain draped over her fist, as the pendant dangled reflecting the moonlight.

"I don't deserve this, it isn't mine. Hell, it never was. I thank you for the one piece of your heart you did offer me, if even it was only in friendship…_or guilt_. This is yours, one of the few possessions that is your past… I do not have any right to keep it. It is to go to your own blood… _Allison_…Allison is incredible Squall. She is the one that deserves this piece of you, this piece of your life."

He accepted the chain with his free hand, while the other still held the pack of cigarettes. Quistis didn't offer another word as she started toward the sliding glass doors. Squall looked down to the cigarettes in one hand and his chain in the other. In his mind, he could hear Rinoa scolding him for the habit, such as she had also done at the cabin. She detested the addiction so much, but before he didn't care. He had no reason to… They were so simple, so small nobody would ever know. Not Rinoa, not anybody. He took one more look at the pack, and it was a battle far greater than anyone could ever know. Finally he closed his eyes, tossing the contents into the ocean, clasping his pendant tightly. He turned around, before the figure vanished from sight.

"Quistis, wait. _She_ didn't want me to go after her. If something happens to me…then Allison will be an orphan. Rinoa was scared of that more than anything. Our daughter, growing up alone."

"Squall no matter what, she'll never be alone." Quistis took a step forward into the moonlight, as she looked into his storm-covered eyes. She had seen them emotionless for so long, but was shocked when now they contained so much fear. He looked more like the frightened child she remembered when Ellone had left the orphanage, rather than a twenty-two year old military commander. Flashes of her entire life passed, for the first time she found the desire to console him…not as a lover but as a sister. The very sisterly love she claimed so many years ago finally came to pass. She smiled slightly, letting her confidence guide her.

"Let me ask you one question, do you think you can get her back?"

"Yes."

"That is your answer…there is no other. Tomorrow we go get her Squall."

"Thank you." The commander replied as he turned and brushed by Quistis. Without saying another word, he picked up his uniform jacket and the container full of memories. He turned back to her one last time, and nodded before walking out the door.

* * *

Now he found himself in his office, he felt that he no longer had a home. Squall glanced at the small clock on his desk, wishing the morning to come. Yet there were other issues at hand, and it was still relatively early in the night. Squall listened to the clock ticking like a metronome, as he became lost in sea of memories.

Slowly he opened up a desk drawer, lifting a few scattered papers until he grabbed an object from below the pile. He looked once more at the tattered picture of Rinoa and him from the celebration dance. The one trace of her existence he had so often looked at, but felt he never had the right. He traced the creased edges with his thumb and forefinger, falling into a trance within her eyes. Even in the photograph, he could read them and the emotion that lay behind. Something deep, enigmatic, and mysterious, yet filled with love, passion, and so many other emotions he wished that he knew how to express to others…to her.

It occurred to him, even after their encounter, this remained the only photograph he kept of Rinoa, ergo the only picture Allison would see of her parents together. Maybe she would understand that its scratches and blemishes were battle marks of their love. He only prayed that she would never find out, in truth, it was because he was ashamed for still loving her, and had kept it hidden away in a desk drawer. Hidden where nobody could find out about his lies, his doubts of her love. In a time that he hunted her, he still coveted her. But how would a child understand? Hell, how could an adult understand?

It was almost a welcome relief when a knock sounded on the door. Not that he liked company by any means, but for the fact that if he fell any further, he may never return. He looked at the photograph one last time, before starting to set it back in his drawer as he had done so many times. Then he realized he no longer had to hide his feelings nor would he. Closing his drawer, he stuck the picture in the corner of his computer monitor, no longer worried about who would see it. It would serve as a reminder of what he was fighting for, although his heart never needed such prompting.

"It's open." His voice cracked after all the emotion from the past few minutes. If only for the mental stability, he _ordered_, "Come in." It was like returning to a role that he had known for so long, a part in a play he wished the final curtain would come down on, so he could live another life. The one he wanted.

Sheepishly, Zell stuck is head in the door. "Did you say 'come in'?"

Squall closed his eyes and didn't answer the man, this he didn't have time for. "If you have something to say, come in, say it, and then leave."

"Well Squall, actually we have to talk to you."

"We?" The man looked less than pleased at the suggestion of more than one of them beleaguering him.

"Er…yeah…but it's really important." Squall remained silent and slightly gesturing. Zell took this as a sign of entry, before opening the door completely. Selphie, Irvine, Alex, and Zell walked into the office…nobody exactly wanted to be there. In fact, it would be on their top ten places of where _'not to be'_ if given the option.

Each took their place in various parts of his office before Zell continued, "We just need to go over the final plan with you for tomorrow."

"I get in, I get her, and I get out," he ardently stated, his look dead serious.

"Yes Squall," countered Irvine. "We are aware of what _will_ happen…we just need to go through this. It will be a lot easier if you cooperate with us."

The commander glanced to the computer monitor and looked at the picture. He self-consciously glided a hand through his hair. "I know, I know. I apologize…go ahead."

The three SeeDs exchanged glances at each other. It had been several years since Squall Leonhart had actually taken responsibility for one of his actions, let alone acknowledged his behavior. This normally would have been taken as a good sign, the return to a person they knew five years ago. Yet right now, it seemed as if the stress was getting to him, and emotion was starting to win a mental battle.

Scratching the back of his neck, Zell continued, "We have…well Seifer and Quistis came up with a plan. It's so simplistic in nature it might work. We will have the element of surprise…with the added bonus of confusion on our side."

"Mitchell…_confused_," Squall snorted at the redundancy of the statement. When had that man ever been anything but confused? A sane man would have never…damn it… Emotion again, he spent so many years learning how to restrain in battle, _in life_, now it was consuming him like a cancer.

"Squall we want you to go through the main gates, take Mitchell up on his offer."

"What in the hell?" He slammed his fist on the desk in irritation. "You want me to just walk up and watch them kill her?"

"Damn it Squall, you know that isn't what he meant." Alex jumped up from the sofa, "You need to listen to them before drawing rash conclusions. I understand you aren't going to be running in there, gunblade blazing…but that isn't what this is about. This is a mental battle, a battle of wits. Your magic and power can only get you so far if your mind betrays you."

He squinted his eyes, looking at her. "…And why exactly are YOU here? It seems to me that this is a SeeD meeting, and you are anything but."

She walked over to him, pointing her finger directly at him. "Don't start with me Leonhart!" Zell grabbed her, attempting to calm her down. Restraint was definitely one trait she and Ellone did not share.

"Alex….Squall…" The martial artist was now a referee, between the two most stubborn people he had ever met. Well, except for…

"Because we need her," a deep voice spoke from the doorway.

Speak of the devil…Zell shook his head realizing irony has a sense of humor after all. In a room with all three of them, in the emotional state they were all in…this could be very ugly.

Seifer and Quistis entered the room. The entire group now situated within the office, very much against the desire of Squall, who wordlessly wished he was alone again. He rubbed his temple, wanting all this to be over…in twenty-four hours, he either he would have perished or been granted eternal salvation. Either way, _they_ wouldn't be standing in his office…

He could hear them talking amongst themselves, or arguing…it didn't matter, the words could have been spoken in native _Shuminize_. Nothing registered in his head, now sleep-deprived and emotionally spent. Fragments, pieces, everything floating around in his mind. He buried his face in his hands, wishing to drown the entire world out. He tried to retreat into the world he created as a teenager, the one he always felt welcome…and alone. Yet their insistent quarrelling was stronger than his will to recoil.

"…._Allison_."

The word was possibly only _one of two_ that could have made him rejoin their physical plane. He wasn't sure who spoke it, only that the word was spoken. He moved his hands away from his face, looking into the heart of the group.

"What? What about Allison?" His voice was growing in impatience.

"You weren't listening to a word I said huh, Commander Puberty? And they said that I was incorrigible… Okay, what part didn't you hear?"

Squall stared into Seifer's eyes, not saying a word.

"Great," he grumbled, "Not a damn word huh? Listen this time… We need Alex to go to Deling with us. Because…"

"No!" he interrupted coldly, "There is no way in hell that a civilian is going on a SeeD mission."

"And what am I?" Seifer leaned over Squall's desk daring him to answer. "Expendable?"

"That's not what I am saying and you know it." Squall stood up, walking around, his demeanor never fading from serious. "You've had training, you are prepared for the battle, and you know what may happen. You can accept this, you have lived for it, and you would die for it."

"Great, now if you can spare the SeeD recruitment poster, can I finish saying _why_ we need her?"

"Whatever."

"As I said earlier… we ran into a slight obstacle with our plan. Turns out that the television crew will be fingerprinted and cross-referenced when they arrive. All of the SeeD prints are on file in Deling, mine also included. We can create a new computer identity to gain entrance, but the only one of us who is not identifiable…"

"…_is me_," whispered Alex, closing her eyes at the new development.

"We find someone else," ordered Squall. "We pay a stranger a million Gil, we find another way in, but I will not let the safety of Alexandra be compromised. Ellone would never forgive me, Rinoa would never forgive me…_I _would never forgive me." He stated, his voice trailing at the last sentiments.

"No." Her hand went to the golden chain around her neck, thinking of her promises to Rinoa. Promises she now knew had to be broken. "It has to be me. It was _meant_ to be me."

"Rinoa would never forgive me, Alex." Squall looked her directly in the eyes. "Allison needs you."

"Squall, she needs people who love her. I have been haunted by dreams for so long, visions…nightmares, whatever they are. The voices of the dead, the voice of Ellone…I never understood it before this week, but I do know this…both Zell and I have to be there tomorrow. Don't ask me why, because I sure as hell don't know either. It's our destiny, it can't be changed."

Zell moved closer to Alex, softly circling his fingers around her arm. She looked up at him, and both knew that somehow they had always been the key. Why the responsibility was placed upon them…remained the mystery.

"Squall we understand the risks, but Alex is right. We know things, we have seen things…things that are at best indescribable to you…but it is our reality. My guess is that we might hold an answer that you may never see. Alex may be more important going than staying. She risked her life for Allison, now she wants the chance to do so for her mother."

The commander downcast his eyes in mental torture, everything they were saying made sense, and it scared him. There was a comfort in knowing that Allison would have Alex in her life, now who would be there if she was gone? Someone would have to stay behind, someone who could take care of their daughter…someone that knew her parents for who they truly were.

"Selphie…Irvine…you two are staying here."

"What?" The thought echoed by everyone in the room.

Squall solemnly walked over to the couple, now visually distraught. "I am asking you not as a commander, but a friend…to stay behind. If I…_we_…fail, the Estharian transport ship will be here to take you to the city. It will be docking with Garden at sunrise. You can raise Ally, she has grown to love you too Selphie..."

A sudden fear took over when a frightening and familiar revelation hit him. "Where is Allison? Who has her?" His voice was in nothing short of a panic, a sense of déjà vu plagued his mind from the day prior, when the same question was asked and ultimately answered.

"Xu is watching her, Ally already took her bottle and is down for the night," promptly answered Zell. It had to be someone they trusted, they weren't making that mistake twice.

The commander nodded in approval. He took several deep calming breaths before he continued, "I can't lose everybody on this mission. Allison needs a future…and you and Irvine would have safe harbor in Esthar. Right now, that is all I have to offer."

Irvine turned to see Selphie, letting the words sink in. He watched her for a second, and at last she turned to him giving the smallest smile. The cowboy walked over, putting his arm protectively around her waist. With his free hand, he faced Squall giving him a SeeD salute.

"As your friends, it would be an honor."

* * *

The Great Plains of Esthar seemed more barren than ever. He looked out the palace window, to the outer reaches of the city. Although it extended for miles, he felt as if he was standing amid the hardened sand. The crystal pillars and florescent lights seemed to fade into nothingness, as he focused only on the austere horizon. Sighing inwardly, he closed his eyes trying desperately to push the overpowering thoughts from his mind. So many mistakes, so many misunderstandings… Now it all may be too late. He always thought there would be time, but now time was irrelevant. All those years…each one of them nothing but marks of failure.

"_President Loire_," a familiar voice spoke through the intercom. "_You have a call on line one_."

"Can you take a message?"

"_It's Commander Leonhart sir_."

He felt his heart skip in anticipation…or fear.

"Squall?" All signs of formality dropped when he picked up the line.

_"Laguna."_ A long awkward pause followed. Neither man spoke, Laguna out of uneasiness, Squall out of awkwardness. Finally, the commander gathered the courage to ask the man on the other end, for something he had never dared asked before…a favor.

_"They are going to execute her tomorrow. I have to go to Deling…I have to try."_

Laguna inhaled deeply, he had heard through political channels…but to hear it from Squall directly, made the older man want to reach out to his son. He had been there; he had known the same emotions.

"Yes, I know you do."

_"I need…I need to ask you something."_

"…Anything."

_"If something happens to me, to Rinoa. Please, make sure that Allison…make sure that Allison grows up safe and loved. You are the one link she will have to her grandparents…Tell her of Julia, how she played the piano, how you listened. Tell her of how you wrote, how you dreamed, how you ended up in Win-"_

Laguna could hear each word Squall was straining to speak, and all the words in between that he did not. How neither had spoken of the past, but each had lived it. The moments that Squall witnessed for himself through Ellone's powers; the ones that were relayed in words later on, even if Squall didn't want to hear it. All the moments that were his past, and now Allison's future.

"I will Squall, I promise."

_"Tell her of Raine, of the feelings you two shared. Tell her that even though we couldn't be with her, she was loved. She is more important than she could ever possibly know… Tell her that even though her parents had to go away, they only ever thought about her. And hope…and hope that she will someday understand the decisions that were made. They were made out of love."_

Both knew they were no longer talking about Allison, but had drifted about twenty-two years prior. Squall wasn't sure where the words were coming from, nor why he was saying them. He had never felt such passion as in the last few days, and now it was manifesting itself in a way he couldn't describe. Nevertheless, he had to talk to Laguna…_he had to_. Maybe only through experiencing the past could he understand it. Not through the images that Ellone had given, but through emotion discovered on his own.

Laguna cradled the receiver tight, wishing to Hyne that all three of them would make it through this. They had been through so much in their young lives; no one deserved so much pain and anguish. Then the words he had never said to Squall slipped out, "I love you son…"

_"I know."_

Maybe it wasn't the response he longed to hear, but it was the best Laguna Loire could ever hope for. It was not out of hate, spite, or any other negative emotion…it was out of acceptance. A mutual understanding passed between two men, between two fathers, of one failure.

As he hung up the receiver, the commander wiped the tears from his eyes. He tried not to think about the worst, always the pessimist. However, he lived in a world filled with blood and death, today was no different.

He prayed that tomorrow would be...


	9. Altercation, Battle, Fight, and Rivalry

**Chapter Thirty-Five: Altercation **

The crystalline waters of the Balamb coast gave way to the murky depths of the sea. He watched as the foam-tipped waves crashed into one another, not from the bow of the transport ship, but from the stern. Seifer knew the perils that lay ahead, but at this moment, he wanted to witness all that laid behind. His past. Every seagull, every cloud became imprinted on his memory. A memory that contained uncounted failures and betrayal, and one that now contained repentance and love.

Somehow, without his weapon he felt strangely empty. It was as if a piece of his soul was left at Garden, something of more than mere metal. It had always been with him, a story that he himself refused to divulge to others. However, in his heart he knew, knew of Hyperion's history of failure…as with his father, as with him.

"Gil for your thoughts?" Her soft voice was barely audible over the steady roar of the motor.

He turned to see Quistis standing there, attempting to hide her concern with a tentative smile. The man could tell that she was scared, but did her best to veil her emotions. He reciprocated the gesture, turning back around to stare into the endless water.

"Hey, I think that was my pick-up line on you."

The instructor walked up, leaning both elbows on the security rail. She looked at the horizon, taking in the warmth of the newfound sunrise upon her skin.

"I would have never thought today would be so beautiful."

"You mean the fact it isn't raining fire and brimstone?"

Sighing she looked down at her own fingers, curling them around the brass railings. "Yeah, something like that."

"Who said the end of the world wouldn't happen on a gorgeous day? Maybe the fire and brimstone is in our own minds, and it's from there that we have to survive. We are told to believe one thing, but if you look around…the fire is everywhere. It's just transparent to the naked eye, and that's what makes it is so deadly. It can consume you, and you never even saw the flame."

"Seifer, since when did you become so…_cynical_?"

"I always have been…cynical and sarcastic can go hand-in-hand."

To that she didn't answer, not sure of what to say. Quistis knew the question she wanted to ask, but that was premature…only if their mission succeeded would it be relevant. If they were to be triumphant, where would he be when it ended…if he survived? Would he once again return to the life of a fugitive, or stand to face trial at Garden? It was one thing to help, but another to know of your fate and accept the consequences. Would he run? She hoped not, right now he was all she had…but Seifer would never know that. It was his decision, and she wasn't going to influence it on a false pretence. Her musings were interrupted when he broke the awkward silence.

"So, how is he?"

"He is..." She closed her eyes, trying to hide the shame. "He is…not doing well."

"Still not talking?"

"No, not a word since this morning."

"Normally I would love Leonhart to shut-up, but this is…"

"Yeah, I know."

"Not even a _whatever_?"

"No…nothing."

"Saying goodbye is hard," justified the commander's one-time rival. "He just left one to save another, in a situation he should have never have had to face." As soon as the words left his mouth, he realized his mistake. Quistis turned quickly, almost running for the lower cabins. He hurried to catch up with her, grabbing her wrist almost forcefully, making her stop.

"Dammit Quistis, I didn't mean it like that. I meant no man should ever have to choose between the ones they love. Please, don't take it personally…emotions are running high right now…don't let my stupidity get to you."

"Okay, okay..." Her gaze hadn't lifted from the wooden deck. No matter what he told her, it _was_ personal…on so many levels. Then in a moment of weakness, she asked what she dared not think…only a few days ago she had asked him the same question. This was final…today it would be over with for better, for worse, and for death. "What will you do if we survive?"

"Take you out for a steak dinner, my treat."

She suppressed a chuckle, knowing he too was going to have difficulty with this subject. Her eyes met his and she spoke from her heart, not from her mind. "I'll wait for you, no matter how long."

He deeply breathed in, turning his face from her. He knew this was coming; it was inevitable.

"Five to seven years? Quistis are you truly willing to wait that long? You have your entire life ahead of you. I have been back in it for less than a week, and you are willing to waste your entire future on me? Hyne, I'm not worth it."

"Five to seven?" Her voice said with hesitation. "Five to seven…years?"

He noticed the indecision in her voice, knowing that the last few days would eventually become nothing more than a memory…to him, to her. Yet, he wouldn't have given up one minute spent with her, not one second. Never had he felt like this, no matter what, she would always remain special. Hell beyond special…she would be the only person he was ever _in_ love with. He had loved others before, or sincerely thought he had, and cared for few…but the emotions he had experienced in the last few days ran deep into his soul.

Somehow, he felt a connection that was indescribable; maybe in all his searching to be a knight, he had never known the truth. He realized now that he never needed a sorceress, for the power laid within his heart and soul, forever binding them. Shit, he didn't even know where half of this was coming from, he felt like some cheap romance novel discarded to the wayside.

"Yeah Quistis, five to seven years." The words came out more sharp-tongued than he had meant.

She embraced his arm, holding on tightly. "No, no! That isn't what I meant…I mean are you going back…to serve them?"

His look was somewhere in between confusion and guilt. "Um...Quistis if I were to walk away now, what would be accomplished? Sure I might have helped Rinoa, but I have to discharge the debt within myself. Without redemption the soul is nothing. Therefore I am nothing, if for all my failures there is but one success. I overcame my inner demons to do what is right, it is what I should have done long ago."

"How do you know about the judgment?"

"Well, let's just call it a plea-bargain that Cid and I worked out…depending on the outcome of today…also hinged on the fact that I don't end up as a corpse."

"Don't say that!" She threw her head into his chest, wrapping her arms tightly around him.

"Okay, okay…but with good behavior it could be down to three years." He looked down at her, raising an eyebrow. "And when have I been on anything but my best behavior?"

She felt the comfort of his arms returning the embrace before retorting, "Don't even ask."

* * *

He tried like hell to think of this as a regular mission, it was anything but. All the years of training were failing him, or he was failing himself…not sure of which. A week ago, this would have been so easy, emotions hidden under years of painful layers. Now…now was the present, today he had said goodbye to his daughter.

The turmoil raging within his heart was consuming, no amount of planning or strategy could compete with the anguish. For the last few hours, he felt no better than his father, betraying the child that he conceived. Would the history books be as kind to him, as they had been to Laguna Loire? His own father considered a hero and a martyr, but would he and Rinoa be considered the enemy? Only time could tell their fate, only his actions today could decide…forever writing history.

Closing his eyes, he remembered his last precious moments with Allison, trying to convince himself that in time she would understand. He had grown to love her in the few short days he had known her…and that was more than his father had given him during his childhood. Laguna Loire left for an enemy country, while he was leaving to save the only woman he ever loved…maybe that was the difference time would recount. Maybe Squall could have understood more if Laguna had been there for his mother, in her final breaths… Maybe the pain and bitterness could be overshadowed by the love, but it wasn't…

Squall Leonhart would sell his eternal soul for Allison and Rinoa to be free from the purgatory they were dealt with…morals, ethics, and beliefs would all be challenged in the next few hours.

_"Allison, I know you won't understand…but I have to go."_

_"Mama?"_ The haunting words of the little girl were said with such sadness, he almost lost his composure that very instant.

_"Yes, Ally…Mama."_

She held the same stuffed Cactuar from the day before, clutching onto it as if for dear life. Softly her muffled cries became full-blown sobs,_ "Mama!"_

_"What…what am I doing?" _He questioned himself, and everything he was fighting for…it all seemed so black and white before…nobody ever told him about the shades of gray. And the gray killed him.

Touching his finger to her soft cheek, he looked one last time into his own steely eyes. He tried to smile, forced to all those gathered around, but oblivious to Allison. His left hand stroked his daughter's hair, feeling the silkiness not even matched by her mother's. Finally the girl moved closer, putting her tiny arms as far around his neck as they could go. He moved his head against her, feeling her rapid heartbeat, so much faster than he would have thought. Could that be normal for a child? Were their heartbeats so much different from his…or from any other adult? He had never known; he had never cared until now.

Moving his coarse skin against hers, she was truly an angel…only something heavenly could be so soft and innocent. He once again looked into her innocent eyes, _"We will always love you; no matter what happens…remember that. And go on."_

_He_ stood up, choking back the tears, looking the older girl in the eyes. _"Selphie…Hyne, please, take care of her."_

_"I will,"_ answered the green-eyed girl hesitantly. "_But only while you and Rinoa go away for the weekend, because you will be coming back…and Allison will have the biggest birthday party a two year old has ever had." _

_"Thank you."_ Somehow, the words seemed to reassure him at that moment. _"I'm sure it will be the best party any nation has ever seen."_

_"You know it commander."_ She saluted him trying to forge a smile.

The next minutes were a series of blurs within his memory…he remembered holding Allison…and then she was gone. Like a ghost, like a memory…faded into nothingness. His Daughter was so much more than he could have ever wished, and now he felt that he was turning his back on her. He would never know if what he was doing was the 'right thing' or just another impulse that lead to failure. In the stillness of the cabin, he finally uttered the one word he couldn't say two hours ago to his own flesh and blood.

"Goodbye."

* * *

The wind swirled around them as the craft made its way closer to the Galbadian Republic. The martial artist walked up and sat on the small bench next to her, trying to offer whatever comfort he could.

"You're not serious?" she implored.

"Yes, yes I am."

"How? How do_ you_ people put up with this?" Alex rubbed at her temple in frustration, wishing only for the sensation to subside.

"You get used to it." Zell couldn't help but chuckle at her reactions. He remembered the first time he junctioned with a Guardian Force, but he was yet a child. Somehow he had grown used to it over the years, and even felt secure in spite of the intrusion on his thoughts.

"Damn Zell, I'm used to voices in my head…but usually they are speaking the same language I am! Tell me why I am doing this again?"

"Because we can't send you in to the Presidential Palace unarmed…It's Squall's orders."

"Yeah, well can Squall order a GF that speaks the same language I do? This is very annoying."

He snickered as she still sat clenching her head, he could truly understand her uneasiness. First, Alex had never been trained in combat. Second, she was forced to junction with something that was foreign…only for the ability to use para-magic, which she had never attempted. And finally, she was scared to death but would never betray her calm exterior…or her slightly pissed one at the moment.

"Ya know, Quezacotl is one of Squall's personal GFs. He was assigned to the commander at a very early age… I've never known him to allow someone else to junction his personal Guardians…he must think you are really special."

"Yeah, or really stupid."

"Well, if he didn't like you he would have given you Cerberus too, trust me, that could have been really ugly…one GF…three voices…I have my stories."

"I'm sure you do," she smiled slightly, trying to ignore the humming within her mind. "So now that I have this thing, what do I do with **_it_**?"

Zell quickly turned to her with a slight amount of fear contained in his eyes, "Don't…"

"Ahhh…" she screamed, once again lowering her head in agony.

"Yeah…whatever you do…don't refer to a GF as an_ 'it'_…they don't like that too much."

"Thanks for the warning," she snapped sardonically. "Now please tell me how to use '_El Señor' Quezacotl_." She lifted her head emphasizing her words. "Well…okay '_El Señor_' must be acceptable to his '_Highness_'. Ohhh! Shit..."

"Um Alex, GFs can understand sarcasm. They are trained warriors and don't like to be thought of as second-rate citizens."

"So if he can understand my language, why isn't he speaking it?"

Scratching his head he looked at her innocently, "Well, that's what make's them our Guardians…they are truly unique beings, each with extraordinary abilities. Yours just happens to be electricity…so as long as you avoid Leviathan you should be all right."

"What?"

"Oh nothing, just a little GF humor… Okay, now let's practice the magic. Do you have the basic spells that I gave you?"

"Yeah, I have four fires and one sleep."

Standing, Zell reached out his hand toward Alexandra, pulling her to her feet. "Okay, do you see that barrel over there?" He pointed across the deck to an empty target. "Now I want you to focus all your energy…mind and soul. Close your eyes and feel the power radiate from your fingertips…the first time, it's usually a slow sensation that starts at the base of your neck."

"Yeah, I can feel something…it's almost uncomfortable, burning."

"Right, now point your palm toward the target and call out the name of the spell. Quezacotl will take care of the rest."

"Fire!" she bellowed with determination.

"Hey Chicken-" Seifer emerged from the other end of the deck at the moment Alex was calling her spell. The intrusion caught her off guard and she turned slightly, missing the barrel and hitting the mast. Its wood base was quickly incinerated, as the mast toppled over to the starboard side of the ship.

"Damn Chicken-Wuss, who knew that your woman would be just as clumsy as…"

Moving her palm quickly in his direction, Alexandra focused all her spiritual energy at her target. "Sleep!"

Seifer stopped in mid-word as he fell into a quiet slumber. She smiled at her accomplishment, as it was her first successful test.

"Wow…" Zell remained almost speechless at her work. He grabbed her, spinning her around in a moment of playfulness. "Damn, you're a natural!"

She laughed as he set her back on the planking. "Um yeah, now let's just get downstairs before he wakes up."

"Er…good idea."

* * *

Squall heard someone descending the enclosed stairway into the lower cabin. He looked up from the table, struggling to hide the anxiety in his eyes. Zell and Alexandra tried to retain their balance as the ship hit rougher waters. The small vessel was momentary tossed side-to-side before the fluid motion once again returned.

"Commander," spoke Zell, as he saluted his leader.

"Drop the formalities. Alex did you get a chance to learn the proper techniques of para-magic?" It had been the first words he had spoken to another human being in over three hours, since their departure from Garden.

"Yeah…" she tried to keep a straight face. "I also had a crash course in the lesson of surprise."

"Whatever." Squall went back at looking at the engineering floor plans that lay before him. "Alexandra, you are aware that the Palace has been equipped with an anti-magic field? The Guardian can offer you no magical power, unless you're outside the field. However, it may increase your awareness and other natural abilities…just don't count on Quezacotl as a failsafe."

"I understand Squall." Alex moved closer, sitting on the patted bench seats of the nook. She placed her right hand on the one he had resting on the table. At first he seemed to be shocked and tried to pull away from the contact, but then felt a strange comfort with her there…almost a sisterly one as with Ellone. "I miss Rinoa too… And Squall, no matter what I said earlier…I _do_ know what she saw in you." She gripped his hand tighter before releasing.

Suddenly, Seifer came running down the stairs, his mid-section and below soaking wet. "We're at the Deling landing, from here we walk the last mile…my contact is going to meet Alexandra at the city entrance, in an alley behind the car-rental building. She and I need to be alone…or the deal is off. And we need the Gil requested with her."

"Will it be safe? How do we know they won't leave her for dead there?" The tone in Zell's voice clearly showed his reservations.

"Because they are my friends…they may be bought_, but they have standards_."

"That's of little comfort coming from you," Squall answered snidely to the man. "But right now, I see no other choice. Yes, we have the demanded Gil, half now…the other half when we get into the palace…_I may pay, but I'm not stupid._"

"Touché Commander."

"Seifer?" Questioned Zell. "Why are you wet?"

"Funny story," he spoke with anger, raising an eyebrow toward the lone female. "Somehow I feel asleep on the deck, when I woke up I was headed overboard…luckily, Quistis woke me up in time to grab the bottom railing."

"Oh…" Alex choked on her own words, "that's terrible."

When they reached the landing, all trace of playfulness or innocence was lost. All that remained were the warriors that would try to take on a tyrant's army…ones that would, at any cost, fight for their redemption. As they walked the way to the city limits, the trip was performed in virtual silence. Squall lead, never once looking back...followed by Alexandra and Zell who remained silent, exchanging looks once in a awhile, neither really knowing what to say. Seifer and Quistis walked the entire mile almost hand-in-hand, each knowing these could be their last minutes together, and savoring each one of them.

* * *

"Wake up beautiful."

She felt someone stroking her hair, as she slowly awoke into the world.

"…Squall?"

"I can be whoever you want." Mitchell reached down seductively biting her on the shoulder, when the pain registered she quickly opened her eyes. She immediately tried to push him from her, realizing she again had been put into handcuffs. A small gasp of pain left her lips, as she tried to hold back the tears. He hadn't released his grip as she struggled from the weight of his body. Finally she was able to use her legs to push away, but not before he had bitten through her skin…the blood slowly trailed down her shoulder blade.

"Get the Hell away from me! You fucking bastard!"

"Oh, is that any way to treat the person who holds your future in the palm of his hands?"

"No…I would never treat a _person_ that way," she hissed.

"Very funny you bitch." He stood up grabbing her, turning her around she felt the sting of a needle enter her thigh. "When you die today…I will be the last person you see. I am your God…I control what happens to you. You die when I say so, you live only to fulfill my needs. Your power is nothing without me, you are nothing."

"You will never have my power," she spat.

"You know the ironic thing? The fair citizens of Deling think that dear old Dr. Odine actually found a way to harness your power…so it can be sealed for all time…_whatever_. They actually think that hunting you was to destroy the very power you possess…and I suppose in a perfect world it would have been sealed. However, this isn't a perfect world, is it? No, sadly, I am unable to receive the embodiment of a sorceress…but I have handpicked your replacement. She will answer only to me…I _own_ her."

"You will never own her…you might think that now, but when she receives the power she will realize that you are nothing. No one would _ever_ need you."

"_Allison_ does."

"What?" The fear took over. "You said…you said she was safe at Garden!"

"I lied." Mitchell was sure she wouldn't call his bluff, at the moment she had more strength than he wanted to admit…even if Rinoa didn't know it. Moreover, the constant fear of looking over his shoulder at every move was starting to make him paranoid. No, he wasn't afraid, he would never be…He was after all President of Galbadia, Leader of the World Council, and soon to be the leader of the world…he was more powerful than any sorceress was.

"No! You…you can't, I came with you….you…"

"I can do anything I want…now if you are a good-little girl, and do what 'Uncle Mitchell' says," he spoke in a mocking voice. "Then Allison lives…let's just say she is my insurance policy that I get what I want, and the powers are passed to whom I say…no little tricks from beyond the grave."

Could he truly have kidnapped Allison? She thought the scene at Garden over in her mind, but Ally wasn't on the helicopter with them…it was possible he had others planted there. Hell, it was probable that he did. But would Squall have…damn she didn't know anymore…she was sure that Allison was safe. She would have betted her life on it, in fact she was. Nevertheless, if there was once ounce of truth to what Mitchell just said, she couldn't take the risk until she knew for sure.

She looked him directly in the eyes. "What did you inject me with?"

"It's a little something extra from Odine…it suppresses your powers, and all use of any magic…but you will be completely aware of your surroundings. In other words, you won't miss one minute of your execution…and you will see the children fear you, and cheer for your demise. I like to think of it as a small going away present from me."

She didn't answer him, the thoughts of Allison and Squall still haunted her. She knew they were safe, they _had _to be.

"Come on," he ordered, pulling her toward the door. "There are a few more orders of business before the execution."

She followed him out into the first part of the Palace, where she was surprised to see other cells full of prisoners…and each showed trepidation in their eyes when they looked at her. Thieves, rapist, and murderers all feared her. She avoided eye contact with them as she walked the long hallways. They threw things and called her names, things she had heard before…they were nothing new. As one barred gate was opened, she noticed a far away window. She could see the blueness of the sky, and thought how beautiful it was…in all the horror, she still found a moment to find beauty. She recalled dreams that she had over the years, at the blue sky that was always an integral part…along with the fields and beaches. She closed her eyes, as she was lead down the corridor…

* * *

_Sometimes in dreams we can fly, and in others we fall. However, rarely in dreams does reality play a part. To dream is to live, to wake is to die. A place where life seems perfect, and all truths are just illusions painted upon a wall. When we awake from slumber, some part of us dies, whether it is imagination or desire. By chance, we keep a small grain of those dreams alive. They give us hope; let us see beyond our means… to the future we want. _

_The same one, which will never be._

_If I wanted to lay blame, I could. From the moment I was born, to the moment of my dying breath. It's always easier to blame others for our own failures, our own shortcomings. But blame only lies within ourselves, hidden far away between our heart and mind. Could I blame the one who started the lie? Could I blame the man who loved me, but failed to trust in me? Could I blame the man who will pull the final switch today? _

_I could blame them all. But, I do not. _

_I blame only myself, and hope others will forgive me for my weakness. I hope, pray in time, they shall forgive themselves. That, by far, is harder than to do than any mortal shall ever know. _

_To those who gave me life I thank you. From my parents to my daughter. And to you Squall Leonhart, I shall always love you. You gave me life, you gave me love, and you gave me a reason to believe. I know you are out there somewhere, looking into the distant horizon blaming yourself. But wherever you are, I beg of you to stop. I beg of you to move on, for when it's all said and done, your love was worth the price. Teach our daughter well, teach her of life and love…teach her of us. _

_I pray today you do not witness this execution, nor her. The memories will haunt you forever. Instead, I hope you walk with her upon a distant shore. Take her to where the oceans and the terra meet. Let her run amongst the flowers of the fields, feeling free, and never knowing of our failures. My time upon this world was greater than any dream…_

_When I fall away from this earth, I only hope the dreams live on within me. _

* * *

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Six: ** **Battle**

The rays of the sun glistened against the city roofs. Steams of light made their way through every crevasse, lighting up normally darkened alleyways. If ever the group had wished for rain, or an overcast sky, it would have been today. But as if celebrating life, Mother Nature had shown all her glorious and vibrant colors.

Deling had never looked so beautiful, _or so deadly_.

Seifer and Alex divided from the main group, meeting with his contact behind the car rental shop, while the others tried not to look too suspicious…which in and of itself was a difficulty. Quistis and Zell sat on a bench, both avoiding awkward conversation. Squall stood positioned leaning against a light post, eyes fixated on the Presidential Palace.

As the sky seemed to brighten with the rising sun, Squall squinted to keep his eyes open, but then gave into the natural reaction of shading his vision. The commander's mind drifted back to another time when he, along with Irvine, went to rescue Rinoa in the very same Palace…a time that seemed to be a decade ago. Images of that day also danced within his mind: Edea, the Iguions, and the first time he ever feared losing her. Something that still haunted him to this very day, even though at the time he tried to think of her as nothing more than a client.

Matron's words from that night rang in his head…he never knew how cruel a sorceress could be, ending the ceremony with a sacrifice. The feeling of Irvine elbowing him never fully registered, as he watched the scene before him. Irvine wanted to go in, guns blazing. Not him, not Squall. Instead he reasoned that the gate was not open. His answer so noncommittal and void of emotion…it was easier back then.

Rinoa…she was so innocent, so childlike in her ways…optimistic about life itself. But that changed over time…being with him. Many thought that her carefree ways would rub off on Squall, and maybe a few did…_maybe_. But nobody would have guessed that his disheartening attitude would end up transforming her. Maybe in time two people are bound to change each other, but not always for the best. He just didn't know anymore.

That evening when Vinzer Deling was murdered, he thought Rinoa would be nothing more than a footnote in history…a sacrifice forgotten. He had loved her back then, but didn't know what love felt like…he wouldn't know for a very long time. And an even longer time would go by before he had the inner strength to admit it to himself. That night back in Deling, so long ago, he let the smallest hint of concern slip through his walls. He had hoped that she hadn't seen the relief on his face when he knew she was safe, but she noticed it.

"…Just stay close to me," he repeated the words trying to find the memories. SeeDs were always taught to distance themselves…but it was easier to teach than to do.

Was theirs love at first sight? No, not really, it's easier to think back now and say it was _love_ that very first dance, if one wants to look for the fairytale answer…lust, attraction…maybe. Something definitely drew them together, but love takes time, it grows from the heart into the soul. Love controls emotions and thoughts until one day it becomes a part of you. A part you can never lose, a part that is always there, a part that you will sacrifice everything for.

"Squall."

The calling of his name drew him back into his present surroundings. As a soldier, Squall knew he was in danger. Emotion was controlling his actions, and making him lose perspective on everything…including his environment. For failing in the training he had so strived for, he felt regret. He turned away from the Palace, trying to convince himself this was just like any other mission.

Zell knew better than to push the issue, as the commander's withdrawn expression spoke volumes. "Seifer has been trying to contact you on your radio; Alex is with the television crew…they'll be inside the Palace in approximately fifteen minutes."

"I go alone from here."

"I understand." The martial artist looked at the ground, feeling slightly tongue-tied in the situation. "Um…Squall…we all wish you the best." Zell wasn't very good at saying these things, and the commander wasn't good at receiving them. "Just be careful….kay?"

Squall nodded once to the man as words eluded him, they often did.

"We love her too…and…_never mind_…" Zell turned, slowly walking back to the bench where Quistis sat patiently waiting.

"Zell…" replied the commander, his voice unsteady and hoarse. "Thank you."

* * *

Alexandra looked down at her forged union-identification tag, wondering what exactly a 'grip' did. She remembered the man saying something involving different positioning, but it was all so vague. _Key grip, dolly grip, and company grip_…she did know one from the other, but was positive her position had something to do with lighting. She also half-heartily joked that her pay scale was slightly higher than when she worked for Richard Bennett…and all she had to do for this was change the angle of the lights.

"Name," asked the Galbadian security inspector, looking her directly in the eyes.

"Elise," she answered, trying not to act evasive. She handed him her credentials, as she held long cables in other arm.

"Full name," he demanded with a little more annoyance.

She suddenly remembered that it was one of those fancy-sounding names. One that reminded her of her old gynecologist…Van…Vander…

"Elise Vandermere member of Local 180," she said triumphantly. The name seemed to slip off her tongue, as if someone else guiding her words.

The man looked her up and down, "Where's Darrius? According to the records he is supposed to be the Key Grip at the telecast." The guard stared at his clipboard ruffling through papers. Alex looked at him with a slight moment of fear. Fortunately for her, he seemed to still be lost within the realm of bureaucratic red-tape.

"Darrius is with his wife," she answered without hesitation. "Went into early labor last night…but last time we heard, everything was going smoothly. That reminds me, do you have access to an outside line? Somehow I've been put in charge of the welcoming committee, hoping I could call…see if I need to buy pink or blue balloons."

"Ms. Vandermere, place your index finger against this." He motioned to a small computer pad lying on the desk. "We need to run print identification through Central Processing, and then we can worry about your social calendar."

Smiling weakly she accommodated the request, placing her finger on the electronic pad. Looking up, she noticed that the guard seemed to be taking little interest in his job. She tried not to act nervous, hoping Selphie had managed to get her new identity into the Galbadian database. It wasn't that she had little faith in Selphie's computer hacking capabilities, but rather that she just had no faith in Galbadia's technological abilities. He punched a few keys then waited; finally, a green light appeared above the security monitor.

"Ms. Vandermere we just need you to step through the metal detector, you may set your cables down on the far table." Following the guard's instructions, she waited patiently as he ran a hand-held machine over the length of her body. "You may proceed into the press area, please make sure that you follow the guidelines as outlined in your briefing manual."

"Thank you," she said sighing inwardly that she made it this far.

* * *

As he approached the Palace, Squall Leonhart felt as if his heart was being ripped from his chest and literally handed to him. The cheers in the streets, each one stung like a thousand burrs in his soul. It was all he could to keep his temper from the joyous mobs lining the sidewalks. Part of him wanted to strike every one of them to their knees, showing no mercy in the process…but then he would be no better than Mitchell. He knew the people faithfully believed their salvation had arrived, when in truth their damnation was just starting.

President Mitchell's plan for today's events was outlined publicly on every broadcast station and print media alike. According to the reports, Galbadian officials had silently worked closely with Dr. Odine on inventing a machine that would harness the power of a sorceress. This would allow society to live without fear of tyranny; the device itself would be sealed in Esthar and launched into orbit.

Squall knew what the world didn't.

Because of the careful timing of the article, Estharian officials would have no chance of rebuking the fabricated facts on time. Once Esthar heard Galbadia's version of the story though, it was certain that they would publicly deny such knowledge. President Mitchell would then accuse Esthar of backing out of the contract, and harboring the power for themselves. This would in all eventuality lead into a war, one that Esthar surely wasn't prepared for, but that Galbadia had spent years planning.

Yet, with history weighing heavily on their side, neighboring countries would tend to lean toward that of Galbadia. After all, it was Esthar that caused the first Sorceress War, and allowed Rinoa leave the safety of memorial confinement. The fictional _'breaking of the contract'_ would be another bullet in the armor of Esthar, further damaging its credibility.

Furthermore, Mitchell, by outward appearances, looked as he led his country justly and with dignity, his popularity growing by the minute. Soldiers would willfully follow him into battle, believing that the enemy had made the first move. The World Council would be in control during any time of martial law; Mitchell's role would only be fortified with his obvious resolve…blissfully unaware of the real motives he was keeping from them.

And all for what? Power? What more could Jefferson Mitchell gain? If he truly managed to rule the world, what would be next? Once you reach the top of the mountain, there is no way to go but down…or into the sky above if given wings, and Mitchell was no angel. His craving for power would only grow. When he ruled governments, cities, and armies…what would be the next conquest? For a moment, a vision of Ultimecia passed through Squall's mind. What if in her time she held all _worldly_ power, then realized that there was nothing left to conquer, but a place where all time and space could be compressed? She would rule in not only her era, but also every one before and after…totally supremacy.

Before his mind could register the consequences of such action, he came back into his reality. A small boy had crashed into him, and the commander looked down to the child, seeing the excitement upon the youngster's face.

"Sorry sir!" The lad apologized wide-eyed, while holding a banner in his hand.

The celebration had begun for all of Galbadia's citizens, and for them the dawning of a new age had begun, an era that promised to be _sorceress-free_. Vocally Squall could not react to the child, only stared at the hope within his eyes. A mere innocent celebrated the death of the sorceress, and he knew that the child wasn't to blame. It was what he had been taught, the fears instilled upon him by his parents and society. The child celebrated not out of deliberate hatred, but from beliefs taught since birth. The _very thing_ that Squall Leonhart, and every other child, had been taught at Garden. The very fear that he had taught to a new generation. He indeed was just as responsible for the actions today, as they all were. Every SeeD that came before and every student that ever passed through the halls…all intended for one purpose. _This very day._

He moved quickly up the steps of the Palace, pushing his way through the throngs that cluttered the entranceway. It was as if all Rinoa's humanity died the day that she inherited the powers, only her shell remaining. He lost most sense of politeness as he neared the gate, becoming more aggressive with every step. His mind drifted back and forth between Rinoa and the scene in front of him, the whole thing surreal. Somehow, he felt as if he would awake from the nightmare. He only hoped that if he woke up, she would still be next to him.

One sentry stood posted at the main gate, and three more inside the Palace were working crowd-control. The commander reached the one who looked like he was in charge. The guard saw Squall approaching, and seemed to let nervousness get the better of him. He immediately called someone on his headset, trying to hide his words as he spoke into the receiver… He seemed to be having trouble, feeling nervous, or both…as Squall stood before him.

"Can I help you sir?" The guard tried to act casual, but the commander knew better…he could sense the fear.

"I'm with the Balamb Delegation of the World Council."

"Commander Leonhart, you do not appear to be on the approved guest list." The man stated calmly never perusing through the hundreds of names.

Squall took a step closer, well within the man's personal boundaries. Looking him directly in the eye, the demand came out almost as a growl. "I guess you are the only person on this whole goddamned planet who didn't read the newspaper. I am the one credited with her capture, aren't I? Why wouldn't I want to be here on such a historic event? _Check your list again."_

"Sir, I am sorry there is nothing I can do." The guard tried to hold his ground, but his resolve was slowly fading, and his weak nature starting to show through.

"Look," hissed Squall, grabbing the soldier by the neck. "We can do this one of two ways…._easy or hard_…either is fine with me. Get on your headset and speak with your supervisor, tell him that I am here. Let him personally know that Mitchell invited me to today's _festivities_. Or I will get on the headset myself, after I recover it from your lifeless body. Do you know how to rip someone's throat out just before snapping their neck? I do." He flicked the man on the neck with index finger, emphasizing the point. It was obvious his threats were having their desired effect. The soldier gulped reaching for his neck, as he motioning for two others to open the barred gates.

"You still have to pass a security check, weapons _will be _confiscated." Somehow the guard had meant it a threat, but the words fell flat, as did meaning in the delivery.

"Fine, I don't have any weapons," he growled while raising an eyebrow at the man. Squall took one last look back at the crowd, watching them celebrate among themselves. He took pity on their foolishness. _"Hyne have mercy on all of you if we fail,"_ he whispered, his silent prayer drifted into the gentle breeze.

As he entered the secondary set of gates of the Palace, an entire garrison greeted him. It was evident that '_Mr. Clipboard'_ out there had already alerted the others. It was a logical assumption that Jefferson Mitchell was fully aware of his arrival, and by the look on the faces of his men, the Galbadians were caught off-guard as planned… Now the true battle would rage, not with their weapons, but with their minds.

* * *

Alexandra fumbled around with cords and wires, not exactly sure what went where. She tried to act as if she was familiar with what was going on around her, but was desperately trying to find the perfect time to escape, and have this nightmare over with…either way. Earlier, after she had left Seifer alone in the alleyway, she met up with his inside contact, Robert Woods, the Grip Boss for the telecast. She was told in no uncertain terms to follow his instructions completely, and he was the only one aware that she was not sent as a fill-in from the union. If she was discovered, he would deny any knowledge pertaining to her and she would be on her own…Alex understood the risks. She was willing to take them and accept any consequences...even losing her life.

_"…transponder,"_ a stern sounding voice echoed beside her. She turned trying to act as if her wits were about her, as the angry-sounding man handed her a clipboard. "Can you _please_ go set the transponder to the station feed…or do you just plan on standing there all day? I know technically this isn't your job _but_…"

"Sure Robert…yeah, transponder, no problem," she replied confidently, understanding this was her chance to make her break. Taking a few steps into the main corridor, she abruptly stopped when she noticed a familiar sight…one that made her skin crawl. President Mitchell was walking toward the press waiting area, surrounded by four guards. By the look on his face, he was not a happy man… She smiled outwardly knowing that only one thing could cause such a reaction in _that_ man…_Squall_ _Leonhart_. The commander must have made it into the building, which was an immense relief. Now it was her duty to get the others through the courtyard door…unnoticed.

She turned, walking down a secondary hallway with clipboard in hand, acting as if she was studying its contents. Alex stopped when she reached the side door, checking to see if anyone else was in the general proximity. Just when she thought it was clear, two Galbadian soldiers came around the corner. Leaning against the wall casually, she acted as if she was skimming through paperwork.

"Seriously…6:1 odds that she survives for ten minutes?"

"Ten minutes? Are you serious, nobody has ever made it past five, and they were a hell of a lot stronger than that scrawny little thing…I'll put a hundred Gil on three minutes…tops."

She closed her eyes, trying to distance herself from their conversation…these men, _to use the term lightly_, were betting on how long it would take to murder an innocent human being. Her best friend. She tried not act disgusted as they stopped in front of her.

"Is there something we can help you with?" The first guard looked at her with suspicion, while the other looked her up and down grinning slyly.

"Looking for the satellite room…according to the map it should have been right here." She pointed across the corridor to the nearest inside door.

"And you're going there for…?" The soldier looked Alex directly in the eyes trying to intimidate her. When she didn't answer immediately, he rested a hand on her hip, getting well within personal boundaries. "Well, hon…?"

She quickly pushed him off, giving a look of pure malevolence. "I'm going there to do my job if that is all right with _you_. I need to set the transponder to the correct satellite. If you don't want to help me, you can explain to President Mitchell why this _was not_ broadcasted on all television and radio frequencies he requested. Plus, I'm sure you can explain to the millions of voting Galbadian citizens, why they will miss this historic event…just because your testosterone level is too high not to harass a female employee. I'm sure when the President finds out that _you two_ caused this not to be aired, you'll be the next given lethal injections… And on a side note, I bet a hundred Gil that neither of you lasts more than two minutes…_tops._"

The two both looked at each other, containing their anger…but realizing that they would be killed if they were found responsible for messing the broadcast up. Finally, the second guard answered with disgust. "Go down the hall turn right, first door on your left. You better hurry, they are going to be activating the anti-magic field any moment… Once that happens, only the President or his security advisor can gain entrance into that area."

The words he said hit her; right now there was no anti-magic field in place. Something in her hesitation must have lead them to question her cover, as the first guard looked at her simply stating, "All hail Galbadia…"

"What?" she replied in momentary confusion.

"I thought so bitch…" The soldier started to reach for his weapon and the second man followed his lead. "Any true Galbadian would know the national anthem."

_"Shit! Okay Quezacotl, let's hope he's right about the barrier." _Alex raised her palm swiftly up toward them,"Stop!" She managed to move quickly enough that both were put under the spell. Fortunately for her, Galbadian soldiers still were a little slow in the intelligence department.

"Well that is just freaky looking…" She eyed the soldiers stopped in mid-sentence, being suspended in time. Giving up on any sense of indiscretion, she grabbed the weapons out of their hands tossing them onto the floor. "Hail Galbadia my ass…"

Alexandra opened the door next to her and looked out into the courtyard for the others. At first she saw nothing but the cobalt sky, but then Seifer seemed to drop out of nowhere. He startled her for a moment, but she quickly regained her composure. The other two were descending the building from grappling hooks. "Hurry, there are two guards I used Stop on them…they found out…I'm sorry…I tried…but…"

"Magic field?" Seifer questioned opening the door.

"Not yet, any second. I'm sorry…"

"It's fine," he snapped. "We'll just have to take care of them before they unfreeze, or we kiss our butts goodbye… Zell grab that one, Quistis get the door."

"Who made you God?" mumbled the martial artist, as he reluctantly followed orders.

"You're not going to kill them, are you?" Alex looked at her comrades as they were dragging the frozen men into the courtyard.

Seifer glared at her, shaking his head, "No, we are going to have a tea party with them…of course we are going to…"

"Stand back." Quistis motioned for Zell and Seifer to move away. _"Petrify!"_ she cast the spell separately to each soldier. Slowly, flesh was replaced with gray-stone, and the two figures appeared to be almost identical statues of one another. She looked into Seifer's eyes, placing a hand upon his shoulder. "We try not to kill anyone, unless it's our only option. Nobody else needs to die over our mistakes."

"Guys…we got a problem," called Zell from inside. "Doors on a delayed timer, we need a code in about twenty seconds…of all of Galbadia will know we are here."

They ran over to the numerical keypad. "Why wasn't Garden aware of this? None of our information mentioned…the courtyard was supposed to be the only way. Of course, Mitchell added security precautions." Quistis looked at the keypad shaking her head in frustration, "We get one shot at this guys…anybody care to guess?"

"Who the hell would put one of these on the outside?" snarled Seifer. "It doesn't say much for the intelligence of the Galbadian society, does it? And the clever red number count down is so original."

"What?" Zell grabbed Seifer's arm. "What did you just say?"

"What in the freakin' hell is your problem? We are about to be caught…not a time to reminisce about what I said."

Zell looked Alex deep in the eyes, and in one moment the solution passed between them. Could it be that simple? The nightmares they shared for too long, always awaking to the digital numbers, the red numbers that Seifer just spoke of. In the stillness of so many nights, the glowing digits that offered some relief from the visions, knowing they would end for another day. The answers Ellone was sending them, to questions that they never knew they would ask.

"4-2-7?" he questioned, looking to the woman reaching into the recesses of her mind.

"Yeah," she answered just as softly, before she faintly smiled. "I bet it is…"

Quistis held her breath as she entered the numbers, not sure of exactly what her two companions were talking about. But she had learned to trust her instincts, and right now her gut feeling was telling her that they knew something that she didn't. And she was right…the countdown stopped with four seconds remaining. Alex closed her eyes in a brief moment of relief, but Seifer could only shake his head.

"You two are just…_freaky_."

"Yeah," answered Zell as he reached for Alexandra's hand, leading her into the building. "We know."

* * *

She could feel herself being escorted down a long walkway. The last thing Rinoa remembered seeing was the large gray bricks that formed the prison walls, and then she was led into a dimly lit room. In the holding cell they had blindfolded her; she gathered they didn't want her getting her bearings on the Palace layout. A guard had then led the rest of the distance, pulling her as if she were nothing more than a dog on leash. At last, she was brought into a room; the smell of pipe tobacco filled the air. She knew that odor well from years of growing up at her father's mansion. A man forcefully pushed her down into a chair, ordering her to sit and not make a sound.

The young sorceress tried holding back a gasp when the man grabbed her near the collarbone. Her shoulder stung from the deep bite into her flesh, and her entire body ached from the sleeping arrangements of the night before. The door shut behind her, and for a momentary nirvana, Rinoa thought she was alone. Hoped she was alone. But then like a sword piercing through the fabric of time, she felt the presence of another stab at her solitude. All suspicions were confirmed when the sound of chair wheels gliding, meeting with the mat below, and the squeaking of a chair shattered the air.

She could feel someone untying the blindfold, someone whose hands felt very feminine. The fingers touched her with a certain delicacy, one not usually demonstrated by males. Floral perfume filled her senses and momentary took her back into the fields. In the darkness she could imagine herself anywhere, and right now she could picture no place more tranquil than _their_ meadow.

When the cloth barrier was lifted, it took a second for her vision to focus in the bright contrast. Glancing around she could tell that she was in an office; her first assumption was that it was Mitchell's, until she got a better look. It had a more feminine feel, save for the cigar odor, but an air of professionalism all the same. She felt a hand caressing her hair, long fingernails gently tracing their way down her head. It was much like a mother would do to sooth a crying child. She looked up toward the sensation, noticing a tall dark-haired woman smiling condescendingly at her.

"So _you_ are the almighty sorceress, huh? You seem kind of pitiful if you ask me."

"Excuse me?" She stammered, trying to determine whom she was speaking to and why, and what part of the puzzle she played in her life.

"So you are the great Rinoa Heartilly…_The almighty_ _Sorceress Heartilly_. The one involved with the Commander of Balamb Garden, son of the President of Esthar?"

"Squall?"

The woman laughed at the sound of the name, leaning against the desk, she looked back at Rinoa with disgust. "Yeah, _who else_… I met him once, seemed like kind of a waste to me, but hell if you like the arrogant-self-absorbed-bastard type."

"Where am I?" her voice reflected the confusion of her thoughts. Rinoa squinted her eyes, focusing on the woman in front of her, she thought she saw something…but then wondered if it was just the reflections of the light.

The woman didn't take too kindly to the interrogating look of the young sorceress. "On behalf of the citizens of Deling City, I welcome you to your last moments upon this world. I'm Kimberly Thatch, your _replacement_."

The comment caught her off guard, but Mitchell's words from earlier sank in. "You…you are the one that the President wants me to pass the powers onto?"

"God, and they said you were a complete ditz." The ebony-haired lady stared at Rinoa with irritation. "No, I amthe person your powers _will be_ passed onto…there is a difference."

Being visibly infuriated, the woman reached back to the desk pulling out an emery board. Kimberley sighed in exasperation as Rinoa stared motionless and angrily started as she filed her nails. She was wearing a burgundy evening gown, which snuggly fit her emphasizing her curves. She was extremely stunning and had an elegant aura surrounding her. Her hair was dark, much like Rinoa's and there was something else about her…something that stood out more than any other defining feature. Rinoa's eyes had not been playing tricks on her earlier…

"Your hair is…"

The woman tossed her emery board with aggravation onto the desk, "Yes, my hair is like yours used to be." She emphasized the point by pointing to her two lightened streaks on either side. "You know Ms. Heartilly, this is absolutely the lowest thing I have ever done. Dye my hair with two blonde streaks…I feel no better than a two-bit whore."

"We do what we have to do," spoke Rinoa with malice in the statement. "So you are only doing this to inherit the powers, aren't you?"

"Something like that…men are so gullible, the President no exception. He only saw what he wanted to see in me, you see quite another don't you?"

"A cold-hearted bitch?"

"Very good Sorceress Heartilly, I only learn from the best." Kimberley leaned over placing Rinoa's hair behind her ears. "You are so young, so ill-advised… You could have been so much, but it was not in your stars. Do you even remember me?"

Thoughts raced through Rinoa's mind, trying to place the woman standing in front of her. "I…I…the party in Deling, the pictures…" Rinoa tried hard to think of past events, when the image appeared out of nowhere. "You were the one who asked for a picture of President Mitchell and me at the party...you sent the pictures to Squall."

"Yes, and I was the one who took the pictures of Jefferson and Lauren in bed…. How does that make you feel that your own boyfriend couldn't tell you from a hired slut in a picture? Says something doesn't it?"

She turned her head not to answer the leading questions; nothing she could say would be correct. "Kimberley…President Mitchell has no idea what you are planning, does he?" Her voice gaining a slight bit of conviction. "You are going to betray him…aren't you?"

A realization finally dawned upon Rinoa, one that could now be her only salvation. _"She doesn't love him…and everything she is doing is to become…me? Who I used to be? __Kimberley__, Lauren…they both look like... Oh my god, his weakness is…me." _

* * *

"Squall, do you copy? Squall come in…"

The radio remained silent as Zell spoke with a forceful whisper into the microphone. He felt someone slap the back of his head. "Ouch… What the hell Seifer?"

"Look moron, he is in a room full of people. Radio silence is exactly that…radio_ and _silence Do you need a dictionary?"

Zell rolled his eyes, wanting to come back with some clever retort, except for the fact that Seifer was right. Pride alone would never let him admit that to his adversary though. Leaning his head against the wall, Zell squatted to the floor in defeat. "Squall, I understand you can't respond. Just wanted to let you know, we're now inside the Palace. We also have some high-powered weaponry, courtesy of two guards now serving the useful purpose of letting pigeons roust on them. Alex was able to use a stop spell and… Ouch?"

Seifer leaned down taking the communicator out of his hand. "Zell, I know you want to tell about your girlfriend's little accomplishment, but leave out the life story. Simple, make it simple…trust me, the commander is only going to pick-up on half of what you say. He has one person on his mind right now, _and it isn't you_. Lesson number one…make it short."

"Squall, it's Seifer. We're in, anti-magic field still down, heading to second floor – she's most likely in his office." Seifer heard a forged cough sounding from the other end. It was the commander's way of acknowledging the message. All were relieved to know that the earpiece hidden in Squall's cufflink was operational, and not confiscated by Galbadian security. Seifer handed back the radio back to the martial artist, offering a reassuring grin.

"Look Zell, I know you don't like me and I don't blame you one bit. Heck, I don't like me too much either, but trust me when I tell you…I want us all to get out of here - _that includes you_. So no matter what you think, there is nobody I would rather have fighting beside me than you guys."

Behind them, Alexandra and Quistis exchanged looks, although it was a very uncomfortable situation for both. Somehow, they all believed in each other right now, no matter what had happened in the past. Personal issues were set aside, and friends could fight next to enemies for the greater good.

Knowing the history of the two men, Quistis expected no response from Zell. She knew the feuding and degradation extended well past two decades. She was shocked, and truly humbled, to see that the martial artist placed a hand on Seifer's shoulder saying the words, _"You too man."_ It wasn't the world's most poetic moment, or one that history would remember, but for the first time she saw two long-time rivals make amends. Sometimes it was the little things in Quistis Trepe's life that kept her going…hope, faith, and knowing that now and again good does win…even when the cards are stacked against it.

"Guys, I really think we need to get out of here." Alex looked through a crack in the door, seeing the reflection of the steel and blue uniforms outside. She didn't dare speak another word as the figures moved closer to their position. Pointing, she motioned to a door on the opposite side of the room; it was obvious they weren't going to get out the same way they came in.

The four hurried through the length of the room. By its looks, the room was used for teaching purposes, as several desks and chairs were scattered about. They headed toward the exit and Quistis noticed a micro-tape recorder. She remembered many of her students using them over past years to tape various lectures. She ran back after to the device after originally passing it. Verifying it had a cassette within, she then placed it into her pocket. The instructor wasn't sure of what made her see the recorder, nor why she would risk the precious seconds to reach it; yet she found herself drawn to it like a magnet. She hurried back to the others who were standing at the doorway.

"It's locked." Zell pointed toward the door in disgust. "Now what? Seems like our rescue operation isn't working out quite like planned."

"Look," replied Quistis calmly. "Remember the blueprints? According to them, this is another way up to Mitchell's office."

Seifer shook his head. "No, _this_ door wasn't on the plans." He pointed across the room, to a corner another exit. "That one was."

"So what the hell is this one?" snapped the martial artist. "I'm guessing that with my luck, it's the janitorial closet. Before we turn the next guards to stone, let's take their uniforms so we can walk around a little more freely. Trust me, it worked last time at the missile base."

"Thanks chicken-wuss we could have used your input ten minutes ago." Seifer scratched his head looking at Quistis and Zell. "Always wondered how you guys managed to get those outfits…that was pretty impressive."

Without looking at one another, the two SeeDs replied in unison, "Selphie."

"Ah…_got it_."

"Guys…" Alex pulled on the arm of Seifer's coat. "I know you were headed down memory lane again, but let's get moving. I think they're coming in."

"Stand back," ordered Seifer. "Give me a sec."

The outer door to the room started to open slowly, and voices could be heard on the other side. "C'mon." Seifer picked the lock, pushing the three inside. He made sure they were safely on the other side before following.

"Impressive." Quistis raised an eyebrow as the man was herding her into the dark room. "I suppose I don't want to know where you picked up that useful trade."

"Not really," answered Seifer as he locked the door behind. "This seems to be a hallway, come on…don't think we are going back out that way."

Out of his trench coat pocket, Seifer pulled a small flashlight. He used the beam to guide them down the rest of the corridor. No light sifted through cracks on the walls, and the hall seemed to be carved of stone, with wooden supports offering extra protection. It was apparent it had not been traversed in some time, as Quistis walked in front removing cobwebs from their path.

"What is this?" Alex asked while holding closely onto Zell's arm. "Why have a passage like this in the Palace?"

"They are all over Deling." Quistis answered never missing a step or slowing down in the darkened way. She walked next to Seifer holding his hand, as the other removed the years of neglect from their way. She could have let his hand go, but somehow she felt reassurance in his presence. And truth be told, she was never fond of the dark…not that she would admit that weakness to another living soul. Yet today, she was finding strength like she had never known before. "When the city was originally built, it was on a labyrinth of sewers and channels. The founding fathers had plans for a subway system installed within the tunnels, but construction was halted during the First Sorceress War. Then the passages were used as bomb shelters and ways to transport illicit goods. Not positive how they came in individual buildings, there was also an entrance in Caraway's mansion. My guess is that most of the larger structures are connected."

"Now they just remain a catacomb system, and many of the city's vagrants live within the bowels they create. For many it is where they are born, where they live, and where they die," added Seifer.

He could feel Quistis' eyes upon him, and he momentary flashed the light in her direction, making her blue eyes reflect like that of a cat within the darkness. "Yes, I said I spent time underground…and I mean it literally. Where else would we have to go? But don't worry, this isn't part of the normal tour. I'm guessing the Palace is blockaded from the rest of the city. Mitchell isn't stupid, and neither was Vinzer Deling, they knew about these. So wherever we end up, it should still be within the Palace and…"

His words where cut short when he fell forward onto a set of stairs leading upward. He hit the unexpected structure with a thud, and dropped the flashlight. Reaching down to pick it up he shined it behind him, looking at his companions' startled faces. "Guess, I should have been paying more attention, huh?"

Shaking her head, Alex winced at the contrast in illumination. She buried her head into Zell's shoulder. "You know, I'm not sure how you manage to get anything done. I've been around SeeDs for five days, and wonder how you guys made it through basic training."

She could feel her companion tense up at her words. "Hey Alex," replied the martial artist, trying to remain as sensitive as possible. "You must understand…this is what we do. I know to you it seems like we are bickering, and to a point we are. But make no mistake, when it comes to the job at hand…_we will succeed._ I haven't had this feeling in two years. While I don't like Seifer, I even admit it is more than welcome relief to fall back into old patterns."

In the darkness, Quistis could feel a strong arm encircling her waist. She gave into her weakness, placing her head on Seifer's shoulder. "Alexandra, you have no reason to listen to me, or to believe me. Not one of us has forgotten the seriousness of this mission. Never once has Mitchell left our thoughts, and the living hell that Rinoa is facing. I swear we will get her back."

The four continued in silence up the circular, winding stairway. They reached another locked door at the landing, and Seifer once again used his lock picking expertise on it. With only the small beam from the flashlight, the task became increasingly more difficult.

He fumbled around until finally hearing the click of the inner lock giving way. Seifer opened the door slowly, checking for guards on the other side. When he was sure that the room was clear, he opened the door. His eyes widened in disbelief and the only words he could mutter were, "Oh my God…"

* * *

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Seven: Fight **

No matter how much he looked at his watch, each minute seemed to be an eternity unto itself. With every breath, he had to remind himself of the sheer task of exhaling. Squall knew that emotional distance and this mission would be a near impossibility. Somehow, he wasn't sure anymore if it was the guilt or fear consuming his soul. He watched as others entered the room, jovial and smiling. There was no lack of excitement between press and other council members, and nobody even tried to conceal their enthusiasm.

Behind him, he heard two male voices discussing whether Caraway would have the audacity to show up at the execution. He sincerely hoped that wherever the General's spirit was, it was far away from this moment in time. The general public had no idea of his gruesome murder, still speaking as if Caraway committed treason against Galbadia.

People entering the room noticed the commander sitting by himself. Some looked upon him with disgust, others with shock, and a few with pity…he hated the latter the most. Squall didn't want pity from one person…it sickened him. Now he understood how Rinoa felt every time she heard the phrase _'I'm sorry'_ from his mouth. The words were empty and without meaning to her, just like every syllable out of the mouths of _these _people were to him.

Waiting was the hardest part, knowing he just had to sit there…and bid his time. He knew his part was vital, the simple act of distracting Mitchell, and he would do his job. Even if his role wouldn't be the hero's one today, he didn't care who physically saved her…as long as she was safe. Whatever he did was for her, and God forbid, if she did get this far into the room. He wouldn't sit idly by as they killed an innocent human being, even if it meant death for him. He wouldn't let her leave without as so much as a fight…

Squall thought he heard static on the earpiece, but it faded out before he could determine if it was his comrades. The reception had been crystal-clear earlier, and he figured the last to be some sort of interference. He cracked his knuckles as a small distraction, while his eyes seemed to be transfixed on the stage before him.

A small commotion drew his attention, as he saw half-a-dozen guards appeared from side doorway. From behind the men, the Lucifer himself emerged. President Mitchell pushed his way through his the soldiers, seemingly scanning the crowd with uneasiness about him, one that the commander easily sensed. Their eyes locked, like that of a lion with its kill. At that moment, there were only two enemies in the room and Squall had never felt such unadulterated hate.

Mitchell started walking forward. His anger was evident, kicking a folding chair to the side. When the metal landed with a crash, all the people in the room became aware of the President's arrival. Scattered applause and cheers turned into full-blown congratulations. Jefferson Mitchell, knowing that the most import dignitaries were watching him, immediately changed his expression like an emotional chameleon. He gave a triumphant wave and smile to the crowd, as they gave him a standing ovation. All but one person stood… he wouldn't degrade himself further by honoring that man, Squall knew better.

And soon, so would the entire world…

For a minute, he wondered if the anti-magic barrier was still disabled. He could just summon Bahamut and use mega-flare on this entire place, incinerating the room and all its inhabitants to the ground. Then it hit him…_why?_ Why was the anti-magic barrier down? Mitchell would not be stupid enough to leave it down on accident, something didn't feel right with that fact. He defiantly glared at the President as he hoodwinked the entire world population, with his double-talking speeches and empty promises.

Momentarily, the commander lost visual contact when someone walked between him and the podium. He had reveled in the simple fact that earlier no one dared sit near him. Right now, he was still not in the mood for small talk or _any talk_ for that matter. Fortunately, the person remained silent taking the chair next to his and Squall didn't acknowledge the man's presence.

_"…sh...n…Ri…wi…be…ad…"_

This time he could definitely make out Zell's voice, and deciphered the alarm in his tone - something was wrong. He felt an uneasy, sickening sensation enter his body; he needed out of here…_now_. Magic, could he really use his spells? He couldn't help worrying about anti-magic barrier, and kept trying to think of any logical reason for it to be disarmed. The commander tapped on the earpiece, as he scanned the exits. There seemed to be guards stationed at every door, and every one had their sights on him.

_"…will not be public…transfer power…field."_

This time the words came in with more clarity, and then it hit him. Of course, they couldn't have the anti-magic field up when she transferred the embodiment. They weren't going to execute her publicly, that was just a ploy…it would be too dangerous. This way, in a restricted setting, they could control her actions and to whom she passed her powers. In this setting, she could have passed them to any female. Galbadia never intended to have it broadcast live…they were going to kill Rinoa before she ever reached this room.

Squall knew that her minutes were numbered, and by far less than he thought, if he wasn't already too late. He had to get out of here, he had to go find her…and right now he was severely out numbered. By the tone of Zell's message, they were in no position to help. He closed his eyes at another failure, his inability to foresee this move. Now he wished that he had marched in with an army of SeeDs, but at what cost…their lives for hers? No matter how he looked at it, Squall Leonhart was going to fail again.

_"…Esthar?" _

He heard Quistis' voice this time, echoing through his receiver, but figured he had misunderstood the cry. That was until an explosion shook the room, and white smoke billowed in from the southern doors. He stood quickly, as everyone in the room began to scream with panic. He felt someone grab his shoulder, and pushed the hand off him forcefully. Again, someone tried to get his attention, and in his frustration, he turned angrily to the source of the annoyance.

"Get the fu-" He was shocked when he saw whom he was dealing with, as the man handed him a gasmask. Without hesitating, he covered his face as the other person mirrored his action. Both kneeled down to the ground avoiding detection. When the guards left their post, the man tugged at Squall's jacket signaling to the north door.

He wanted to say something, he wanted to thank him, but instead the commander just nodded, and then he began crawling across the smoke-filled room. As an afterthought he turned around to the man, the words echoed in the hollowness of the mask.

"Ward, tell _my father_ thank you."

* * *

When they first entered, no words could express the barefaced shock each felt. Four comrades stood in awe, _in horror_, at the memorial that they stumbled upon. The room was barely lit by recessed lighting illuminating a makeshift altar, which was draped in a velvety cloth the deepest color of scarlet. The room, from floor to ceiling, contained photographs of various stages of Rinoa Heartilly's life…some with her mother, some as a teenager, and a few later ones taken with Squall.

Framed newspaper articles lined the sidewalls, while the far wall seemed to contain various paintings and sketches. A large, oil-based portrait of Rinoa hung over as a centerpiece, and fresh white roses adorned the sides…draping the frame as if an arrangement found at a funeral service.

"You know Quistis, when I first joked about Squall having a shrine to Rinoa, I was just kidding. This is…" Seifer trailed at his own words, as the appalling reality of the fetish sank in.

"Disturbing," whispered the instructor, a coldness contained in her voice.

"Yeah, that is one word for it," replied Zell, still in obvious shock. "I can think of a few others…psychotic, obsessive, demented, and just plain…sicko."

Seifer walked to the altar, where a perfect replica of Lionheart lay cradled in an ornately carved holder. He ran a finger along the gunblade handle, checking the quality of the craftsmanship. To his disbelief, it seemed to be not only a detailed replica, but also a duplicate down to its ability to fire off live rounds. He glanced beside the weapon, seeing a series of pictures containing Rinoa and Squall. From their appearance, they seemed to be taken before she went into hiding, during her three years at Garden. The commander's head had been cut out in some, while scratched off in others. Fingernail marks left white trails over the pictures, almost appearing to be the claw marks of a beast…but not one smudge mangled the image of Rinoa.

On either side of the main portrait were two tables, each clothed in identical velvet as the altar. Candles covered the back portions, and various mementos were placed closer to the front. Seifer reached down picking up a delicate wine-goblet, on the rim was the distinct imprint of a dark shade of lipstick. He spun the tumbler around, looking through as the room distorted in the clear glass. Trying to imagine how deranged the President truly was, Seifer grasped that for two decades Mitchell's lunacy had been kept shadowed within the realm of sanity…all in the name of power. Setting the chalice back, he moved down the table examining other of its illicit contents. The collection contained more than any human would have found sane: photocopied birth certificate, hair-cuttings, undergarments, pressed-flowers, and hundreds of other ill-gotten keepsakes.

Quistis wrapped her arms around herself, as a cold chill ran down her spine. There was something so sadistic about this place it made her skin crawl. She gathered enough wits about her to walk over glancing at a section of the wall. She stared at what appeared to be the earliest grouping of photographs; they contained many of Rinoa's baby-pictures and toddler years. From photos of Julia leaving the hospital, to pictures of mother and daughter flying a kite in the park, each seemingly everyday events…all embossed on film. Now they formed a neurotic mural of a madman, paying tribute to every rite-of-passage in Rinoa Heartilly's life.

"So…now we know that he has _'a little thing'_ for Rinoa," Seifer replied sarcastically, trying to hide how uneasy he genuinely felt.

Moving around the darkened room, Alex quickly examined the different groupings of pictures ending at the section put up most recently. All the photos had been taken after Rinoa and Allison's return to Garden…including some of Rinoa in Deling. Several security video stills had been printed out, as all times on the lower corners dated within the last twelve hours. The newer ones contained pictures of her sleeping on the prison floor, and a series Mitchell forcing himself upon her…kissing her lips and placing his hands in far too personal areas. Alexandra could tell it was not by any choice of Rinoa's, the panic and confusion in her friend's expression said it all. She was glad to see there were no other pictures depicting anything more intimate…but these were ghastly enough. She was only glad that Squall was not here to see them…

She walked a few steps further, examining the next cluster. These were the ones taken at Balamb Garden, containing several snapshots of Allison as Rinoa held her tightly. Thinking back, Alex figured that Lauren had more than one opportunity to take pictures without anyone taking special notice. The one that her eyes fixated upon was a close-up of Allison smiling innocently for the camera. It must have been taken right before Mitchell's attack, and subsequent capturing of his _dear sorceress_.

Alexandra closed her eyes in guilt, remembering how she and Zell had left the toddler with Lauren, feeling foolish for falling for such trickery. If they had just taken Allison to the office with them two days ago, Rinoa would have never been forced to make such a choice…this would have never happened. She wanted to look away, but the pain was overwhelming and she could only focus on one defining detail… The eyes of Allison staring back at her, the eyes that would haunt her forever if Rinoa didn't survive this ordeal. Alex finally _had_ to look away, covering her head with her hands. And as the darkness took over…the image of _those eyes_ was all she could see…

"Alex, put that psychology minor to good use…tell us how does a fifty year old man become obsessed with a twenty-two year old…from birth?"

The sound of Zell's voice made her force herself to confront the lair in which she was standing. Looking toward him, she noticed he was holding a picture drawn by a child of a boat sailing on the ocean waves. As he flipped it over, his expression showed a lack of surprise noticing a certain name written on the back.

"It's by Rinoa, dated seventeen years ago."

Alexandra thought for a moment, and then headed back over to the first montage of photos, the ones that were the oldest in age. And then it hit her…

"Because," answered Alexandra, as she looked at the group from the hospital. "The baby isn't the focal point of these pictures. It wasn't Rinoa at first…it was her mother." She pointed to the photographs, emphasizing that Julia was the central figure in every one of them. "General Caraway isn't in any of them. His fascination started with Julia…and passed onto Rinoa after her death. The fact she is a sorceress isn't the reason he wants her…that just made the excuse convenient."

Seifer digested the idea, for in a pathetic way that theory made sense. If you can't have the mother, you take the daughter…the obsession just grew beyond all rational boundaries. "So what does this mean?" Picking up a framed photograph of Squall and Rinoa, he noticed that Mitchell had cut out his head from another photo, placing it over the commander's. Rinoa stood in a sequined evening dress, as the mismatched figure next to her stood in formal SeeD uniform…with Jefferson Mitchell's head. Showing the bizarre picture to Quistis he commented, "This just…isn't right."

"No…this is beyond wrong. But it is a weakness, and it may be a way to distract him." Quistis took the frame from Seifer's hand, placing it facedown on one of the tables.

"Squall was right about one thing, that the attack wasn't to kill Rinoa two years ago…it was to kill…Squall." Zell held up a hand-written letter to show the instructor, it outlined a few details of the attack, and then the words _'die Leonhart'_ filling up the remainder of the page.

"But then when Rinoa ran, he needed Squall alive. He might have been the only way to get her out of hiding." Quistis hid her eyes as the words escaped her mouth. She shuffled through a stack of pictures on the table, coming across one taken on her wedding day. President Mitchell had been there, he had taken pictures of her and Squall standing in front of the small gathering. She choked back a sob when she saw the photo. "Oh Hyne…what have I done?"

Seifer took it from her hand, placing it back into the middle of the pile. "Well, right now I would say if anything…you bought Squall some time. Just don't think about that right now, let's get Rinoa and get the hell out of here."

"So if he can't have her nobody can." Alex looked transfixed by the large portrait centered in the room. "He knows she will never love him…so killing her is his way of getting her back for the pain, he'll take a sadistic pleasure out of her suffering. The power of controlling a sorceress will be a fringe benefit of his obsession."

"So," the martial artist asked in confusion. "Does he want Rinoa or Julia?"

"Both…the lines became blurred long ago to him, so they are the same person in his mind. It started with the mother, but transferred onto the child… If I would have to guess, from his level of psychosis, he wouldn't know one from the other if confronted directly about the subject. But if he can differentiate between mother and daughter, since his fixation started with Julia she _may_ have the stronger influence on him."

"Oh my God," Quistis held a piece of paper scanning it thoroughly. "If I'm reading this shorthand correctly, this is a summary of how to transfer the powers. According to this, Mitchell is planning to kill her in his office."

"Wait, one of the technicians set up a camera at another location when we got here. It was my understanding that he would address the nation from there _after_ the ceremony…"

Seifer looked at the group in realization. "No, they are going to kill her there…and have a tape to broadcast later. That is why the magic barrier is down right now….they can't do the transfer with it up. Mitchell won't chance killing her in public… If what Alex said is true, he'll want this to be an intimate thing… His views of passion are blurred…it will be him, Rinoa, and whoever is inheriting the embodiment. It's the ultimate form of control…killing his obsession; it is both a revenge and pleasure for him. Zell get on the radio and tell Squall what we found…now."

_"Commander, we found some sort of shrine Mitchell has to Rinoa, she will be dead before the scheduled execution… Hurry to his office! Get out of there now, she has no time!" _

"Guys, I can't seem to get a steady signal… Think there is some kind of interference from this location. I have no idea if he is receiving anything; the other end is just dead air."

"Give it a sec and try again. Zell just stay calm," answered Seifer, as he studied the paper with the shorthand scribbled over it. "Why is it the bad guys always outline their plans?"

"Because they like to think themselves invulnerable…they think they can outsmart anyone with their intelligence…it's that show of emotion, that pride that usually gets them caught."

"Thanks Alex, although it was a rhetorical question… Zell try again."

_"Commander the execution will not be public; they are going to transfer her powers before they enact the magic field. Please Squall…please get this message." _

When Zell finished the short broadcast, a commotion was heard from outside the other exit door.

"We have to get out of this place; Rinoa might not have much time left. I'm guessing that on the other side is Mitchell's office or personal bedroom…he would want to be close to _his temple_." Alex nodded toward the lone visible door. The one from which they had emerged was hidden within the vast montage, as many of the secret-passages were hidden to onlookers. Mitchell had concealed its existence well with photographs, so to the visible eye it was just a wall covered in an unholy shrine.

"Well, I say we run in full force and see what's behind door number two." Seifer's comment came out a little more enthusiastic than it meant to be.

"No," disagreed Quistis, more level headed than her counterpart. "If we do that we risk all of us being captured. I say we break off into two groups."

Alex moved toward the visible door, placing her palm against the cool wood. A deep-cutting sensation ran through her abdomen, and she quickly grabbed her stomach. Her vision blurred for a moment as a flash of Rinoa entered her mind. "It doesn't matter; she isn't in there…_yet_." The others turned to her with looks of utter confusion.

"And since when has x-ray vision been among your unique, _yet freaky_, skills?" Seifer queried, raising an eyebrow in her general direction.

"Don't ask, I just can feel she's not in there yet…call it a hunch. She will be though…it's a matter of time." She removed her hand from her midriff, looking down at the same time, and for a second she thought her hand covered in dripping blood. When she blinked the hallucination quickly faded, and her palm was free of any stains. A chill ran through her, as she prayed to Hyne this wasn't an indication of foreboding, but she couldn't shake that awareness.

Before Alex had time to reflect any further on the incident, she felt a sting slowly start radiating from her upper-neck. Falling to her knees, the pain took over her entire head. Zell ran over, placing his hands on her back for support, the scene looked eerily familiar…but that would be an impossibility. Unlike their encounters in the past, Alexandra retained consciousness during what appeared to be all too familiar. Removing her hands from her temples, she spoke the single word _'Esthar.'_ The tone seemed to be almost inhuman, not of her voice. She looked around for a second before regaining equanimity, and then repeated the word in a more hurried tone.

"What?" Zell looked with concern, aiding her to her feet. "Alex what are you saying?"

Before she could clarify, a loud explosion shook the foundation of the Palace. They could hear the muffled cries coming from the hallway, and what appeared to be the low engine-roar of jets flying above. "Esthar's attacking; we have to get out of this room immediately!" She stumbled toward the veiled entrance, not to the one leading to what they supposed was Mitchell's office. "Inform Squall that it is Esthar, they are here to help."

Quistis grabbed the communication radio from Zell's belt, as he continued helping Alexandra toward the exit. "Squall…it is Esthar! Repeat that is Esthar outside!"

They made it through the door, closing it securely before anyone could detect their presence. Standing in the pitch black room on the other side, the yells inside the Palace were almost completely masked within the confines, and the stale air of many years filled their senses.

"Did he copy?" Seifer asked, placing his arms around Quistis' waist and pulling her tightly to his body.

"I don't know… Why did we come back in here?" She kept her eyes open, although it truly made no difference in the abyss, looking in the general direction she believed the other couple to be standing in.

"Because they will be in there soon." Alexandra's whisper cut through the darkness.

"Did you go to the past?" Zell questioned, still supporting most of her weight.

"…No, I went to the future."

"Um…Ellone can't do that."

"She can now." He felt Alex shiver through her statement, there was something she was holding back. He could sense it.

* * *

"What concern is it of yours Rinoa, what I do? I can betray whomever or whatever I please...you will be long since dead," spat the angry woman standing in front of her. "Which reminds me, it's just about time we go up to Mitchell's office. Think of it as your last chance to see…_well, anything_."

Rinoa snapped out of her trance as the older woman spoke, their brown eyes locked in an intense game of cat-and-mouse. "What do you mean? I thought that this was going to be televised? So the _fair citizens_ of Deling, and the world, could get the immense satisfaction of watching me suffer at the President's hands."

"Sadly, no… Oh don't worry we won't deprive them of the _satisfaction_; it just won't be a live telecast. But watching a tape can be just as gratifying, huh?"

"Yeah, sure… You guys aren't going to chance having the execution in the open, are you…is someone afraid?"

"Never!" Kimberley hit the desk with her hand, sending a hollow echo through the room. "_We _are not afraid of anything…_I _am not afraid of anything, especially something as pitiful as you."

"I never said it was _me_ you are scared of," Rinoa answered smugly, short yet to the point.

The older woman never had a chance to respond as an explosion rocked the lower level, sending a tremor throughout the entire foundation. Kimberley quickly secured handcuffs around Rinoa's wrist, trying not to show any outward fear. "Don't even think of it dear…it's just a precaution. The injections should hamper your magic casting, but we like to err on the side of caution. A little extra insurance never hurt anyone."

Two guards quickly entered the room, positioning themselves on either side of the doorframe. "We're under attack and are under orders to get the sorceress up to the chambers immediately, so the transference can take place."

"Damn it all!" Kimberley angrily pulled Rinoa by her tender shoulder, seeming to get some sort of demented pleasure out of watching the younger girl suffer. She walked in the lead, clearly aggregated by the guards, acting as if they had been responsible for the unplanned change. They quickly followed her out into the main hallway, but always staying a few steps behind.

"Don't tell me that fucking Leonhart and SeeD are behind this?" She demanded, never breaking stride and dragging her hostage along at a rapid pace.

"Initial reports indicate that Esthar is responsible for the attack."

"Esthar? What brilliant minds didn't consider the possibility of them striking first? What do you guys do all day, plan strategy and counterattacks probability, or stick your hands up your asses?"

"President Mitchell never figured Esthar would risk getting involved. It's political suicide."

"This country is run by imbeciles," snarled Kimberly as they headed up a circular staircase.

When they reached the second floor, they found themselves in a smaller corridor before it merged into a larger passage. Guards were running in every direction, and several uniformed officials stopped only to stare as the sorceress was being escorted by. Even during the attack, they had to look…it was like going by a car wreck, with Rinoa being the fatality. In the distance, the captive woman caught sight of a mirror positioned at the end of the walkway. Somehow, in all the confusion, the reflection of herself seemed to call to her. As they grew closer, she continued to ignore all the commotion around her, fixated only upon her image.

Kimberley pulled out a key, unlocking a nearby door. When it opened, she dragged her prisoner into the room. But before Rinoa was hauled inside, she swore the image in the mirror morphed into the appearance of another. At first, she thought it was a side effect of the drugs coursing through her body, but she couldn't shake the feeling…the feeling of seeing the dead walk. The image in the mirror was not her own in the last few seconds; it was Ellone…

* * *

He made it out of the restricted area for invited guests, as smoke continued billowing through many of the ventilation shafts. Squall knew it to be a form of teargas, and that the effects would be harmless to any innocents within the Palace. Although with the exception of his friends, he wasn't sure how innocent any person in that building could be.

Scattered clouds of smoke in the hall vaguely reminded him of the misty covered mornings of his youth. How many times he had looked out into the plains of Balamb, to be greeted with the familiar covering rolling off the ocean. Right now, he could hear people running and yelling all around, yet nobody seemed to notice as he passed by. He thought it strange, but under the circumstances, he didn't have the time to worry about what they weren't doing - only what they _were_. He was just thankful for the small miracle; maybe something was going to go right… Hell, that would be too much to ask.

He made his way to where he knew the stairwell to be, but as he rounded the corner, it wasn't there. In the confusion, he must have missed a turn, and he inwardly cursed himself…so much for good luck. As he was about to retrace his steps, he saw a shadowy figure standing in the distance. When he moved closer, a certain familiarity surrounded the person, one he couldn't put a finger on. Watching the being move smoothly along, he didn't even know when his legs started running toward it. Everything a blur in his mind, he didn't even know what part of his consciousness was controlling his actions. The figure almost seemed to fade in-and-out of the smoke, and at other times it seemed almost transparent.

"Wait!" he called aloud, although the attempt in the mask was a little more than futile. He turned another corner, and for a moment froze in place. The gas must have been seeping through his mask, and making him delusional.

That was his only _logical_ explanation.

"Ellone?" the commander gasped, unsure of his breath. "No, no…it can't be." Their eyes meet for the briefest of seconds, and in his heart he was certain. The apparition seemed to weaken as he neared, but he could make out the figure slowly enter a nearby room. He hurried following the path, no longer counting on his ability to reason. Opening the door, he wasn't shocked to see that she wasn't on the other side… Someone was there, just not who his mind was hoping. Instead, a lone Galbadian soldier leaned against the wall, looking startled as the door flew open.

"Shit," he mumbled realizing that he didn't have a weapon on his person. This was going from bad to worse… Before he had time to react, or come up with a spur-of-the-moment plan, he was more than shaken when the soldier identified him by name.

"Squall?"

Moving slightly forward, he tried to focus on the uniformed man. Gas from the attack had stung his eyes momentarily blurring his vision…_gas_ and the emotion that the commander felt when he had followed _'his imagination'_ into the room.

"Who is there?" His voice sounded hollow and apprehensive through the mask. The soldier took of his helmet, but his protective mask remained on, covering his nose and mouth. "Kiros?"

"Good to see you made it this far," spoke the man sincerely. "Laguna will be pleased."

"Yeah, but this will all be in vain if I don't save her." Squall walked over to his father's aid, a sudden fear striking him. "Tell me that Laguna isn't here…please."

The older man saw a tinge of compassion coming from the person questioning him. In all his years knowing Squall, he had never seen him show any concern about his father's well-being. It was a strange comfort for Kiros to witness this moment, many years all coming to a dramatic conclusion in one simple statement. Maybe, just maybe…Laguna finally had done something that his son would accept…

"No Squall, he didn't come. Don't get me wrong, he wanted to more than you could possibly imagine. But he knew that if you didn't make it…well he had made you a promise. By the Gods, he wasn't going to break it."

Squall understood.

That simple, he understood. He had been faced with the same situation, yet he couldn't keep his promise to Rinoa. He had to go after her, he had to try. The simple act of staying in Esthar did more for Laguna than twenty-two years of regret, more than five years of trying to make things right between them.

_"If something happens to me, to Rinoa. Please, make sure that Allison…make sure that Allison grows up safe and loved."_

_"I will Squall, I promise."_

Laguna Loire had promised something to his son, and he meant it. For the first time, Squall Leonhart was proud to have such a man as his father.

"Squall, listen he really wanted…"

"I know," the commander cut off his friend, knowing that he had misinterpreted the silence. "Kiros, I know."

Catching a movement out of the corner of his eye made Squall look away. He again swore he saw something…something that he wasn't really willing to admit to anyone, let alone himself. He pointed toward a door, the direction of which the motion had come that had attracted his attention.

"What's behind that door?"

"I don't know Squall, it doesn't appear on our maps, and it can't be of much importance. This area is used for daily briefing of Palace security. I only came in here to get away from the rest of the chaos out there. I needed a moment to collect my thoughts and contact the others. It may look like Esthar dispatched a large group of soldiers, but it's really just a carefully timed series of explosions. Most of our units are outside, basically these people are chasing ghosts."

"What?" The tone was harsher than Squall meant it to be, but after the last few minutes…nothing was as it appeared.

"We only had time to gather a few planes and supplies. Esthar wasn't prepared for a large-scale strike…nor did we want to risk your lives in the process."

"I'm sorry, I know…thank you."

Squall moved walking toward the door and Kiros followed his lead. Opening it, the commander looked into a dark corridor. There was stillness in the air, and he felt a familiar chill run though his body.

"You have a flashlight?"

Kiros handed him the helmet he was holding in his hand. "The Galbadians are nothing if efficient. There is a built in flashlight feature in the uniform."

Squall took the helmet, sliding a small switch on the left side. Kiros was right, this was a clever idea…chalk _one_ up for Mitchell. It made a small beam, not nearly as bright as the hardhat of a miner, but followed the same basic principle. In all his recent years of traveling to Deling, this small detail in their dress had eluded him.

"I'm going in." The commander's statement wasn't a request, wasn't a question, it was a certainty. Something was leading him down this path, and right now who was he to question all the things that happened in the last few days? Things he couldn't explain, things he left up to fate or destiny…or whoever was in control.

"Kiros, are you coming?"

"No, I have to go back. Take the helmet Squall…I'll take my chances."

"Thank you." A brief salute passed between the two, but no other formalities in the goodbye… Squall hated goodbyes, and wasn't going to face the very real possibility that this may be the end…for one or both of them. In the last two days, he had said enough goodbyes for a lifetime…or more.

* * *

"How long are we going to stay in here?" Seifer's inquired in an annoyed tone. "This is not my idea of 'rescuing Rinoa'…plus I swear there's a spider crawling on me somewhere. I can just feel it staring at me with its beady little eyes…all hundred or so of them."

"Soon," replied Alexandra. "He will be here soon."

"Who…Mitchell?" Zell asked, wondering exactly why they were waiting for so long.

A light suddenly cut through the darkness like a knife, everyone jumped in apprehension with the exception of Alex. "No, him."

"Who the Diablo's is _'him'_?" Seifer demanded as both he and Quistis raised their guns into the blackness toward the stream of light.

"Squall?" Alex called out into obscurity, her voice not quite that of a yell but well above anything she had used thus far in their hiding.

The shock that someone was at the other end scared the hell out of him. Let alone that _whoever_ it was called out his name, as if they were expecting his arrival. This day was just becoming more dreamlike, and he hated things that were beyond his comprehension. He liked facts, evidence, not going on faith alone…and whose faith he was going on was one of the questions that he feared the most.

"It's the four of us." Alexandra spoke gaining confidence. Nobody else in the dark corridor seemed to believe her statement, Quistis and Seifer never once lowered their weapons.

"Alex?" His voice came deep and unsure.

"Oh Hyne," Quistis gasped. "It_ is_ him."

"You gotta cut that shit out Alex," growled Seifer as he placed the gun down to his side. "Or at least warn us beforehand...so we don't accidentally shoot the wrong person."

"I wasn't sure myself until I saw the light…I don't know what is happening to me, but I just feel…strange. Trust me, except for the dreams, nothing like this has ever happened in the past."

* * *

The door to the office flew open as the President rushed in, slamming it behind. "Damn it! He's out there somewhere!"

"Who?" Kimberley questioned as she looked at Mitchell. "I was under the impression that Esthar is attacking."

"They are, but somebody's _boyfriend_ is also out there."

"Leonhart? How the hell did he get in here?"

"The front gates…don't ask. The guard who let him in is now disposed of…stupid bastard."

Kimberley stood, pulling out a handgun from the desk drawer. "So fine, we kill her…just a little ahead of schedule."

* * *

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Eight: Rivalry **

"Leonhart? How the hell did he get in here?"

"The front gates…don't ask. The guard who let him in is now disposed of…stupid bastard."

Kimberley stood, pulling out a handgun from the desk drawer. "So fine, we kill her…just a little ahead of schedule."

_"No…Squall…no."_ Rinoa sighed inwardly choking back the sorrow. Even with the barrel of a loaded gun pointing toward her, all she could do was worry about him. Somehow, she had hoped that he would stay behind with Allison…she _prayed_ he would. However, in all honesty, she knew better. They shared too much to think he would let her fade quickly into the night.

Even the final moments before surrendering at Garden to Mitchell, she whispered a plea into Seifer's ear. _"Please try and convince him to stay. If he doesn't…well, I know his nature. Watch his back for me."_ Amid the confusion of those moments, Rinoa had passed the Griever ring carefully in Seifer's palm; the exchange eluded all at the time. Their thoughts focused on the emotion written upon her face, never watching her sleight of hand.

In that fated second, she couldn't return the ring to Squall. She knew he would want her to keep on her person, to die clasping it if need be… To draw upon it for strength, one piece of him she could carry physically on her body, not just within her heart.

But Seifer…he could understand the nonverbal request. Keeping the return a secret to the one person who would be most wounded. To the commander it might have been construed as an act of surrender, admitting defeat for a war not yet waged. That evening Seifer placed Griever back onto the chain it had been bonded to for so long; both rings once again reunited, now left thousands of kilometers behind this chilling scene. Silently he placed the pair within the container of memories entrusted to Selphie, a box for only Allison to open if the worst came to pass.

Squall might not understand that being in her heart was enough. It was all she could want, all she ever needed. She knew that he would come, she knew just like she always had.

She sat silently waiting for the fatal shot to cry out, to finally end the evil game in which she had been a pawn. But to her surprise, Mitchell stopped the well-dressed woman from firing.

"Don't, as much as I would like to…we have to do this according '_to script_.' The only way for those Galbadian idiots to follow us blindly, is by thinking we are doing this for their benefit. You might gain the embodiment by shooting her, but without their dedication it could be a tougher road ahead…"

"So what? She really has to be dressed in a ridiculous white robe? That is probably the lamest tradition I have ever heard… Aim gun, pull trigger…simple. I watch you do it everyday, why is it so different now?"

"Because the citizens have to actually believe we are doing this for good…_their _good_, their _salvation. According to the accepted rites of their religious beliefs, she must be clothed in white robes to regain the purity of her soul. Or some other shit like that."

"Fine we shoot first, and then dress her in the robes. I'm sure the average Deling citizen is too idiotic to notice if they are watching a live person being executed. It's recorded damn it, we could have a freakin' chocobo dressed up in white robes and they couldn't tell the difference. We just say that we have sedated her….very heavily and that is why she looks so lethargic. Tell them the almightily Hyne came down and commanded us to kill her now!"

"Are you doubting me?" If there was one thing that could truly infuriate Jefferson Mitchell, was when another human doubted his word. For in his mind, he could never be wrong…the very notion that someone questioned him, would send him into a tyrannical rage that often had grave consequences to all around. Not one person under his command dared to contradict his decisions. He felt blood coursing through his veins, shaking in anger he violently hurled the computer monitor onto the floor. It landed with startling force, as glass shattered into pieces. "Nobody _and I mean nobody,_ ever doubts me, especially some overpaid bitch!"

"A _bitch_ that is going to inherit the power you desire. Your arrogance is going to be your downfall if you wait any longer, you will give Leonhart the opportunity he needs. I'm the only one in the room that is not going to be slain, and is female…at least last time I checked." She gave him an evil grin looking him up and down, adding to his anger. "I'm the only one who can receive the embodiment. So, I believe I'm now calling all the shots."

Rinoa could sense the separation between the conspirators, one she hadn't detected before. It was small but if given the proper coaxing, the tear could eventually rip the alliance to shreds. Kimberley was nervous about keeping Rinoa alive, not only because of Squall loose on the premises, but also the influence she would have on Mitchell. The mistake would mean _her_ life if he changed alliances… Rinoa already knew that the woman was planning to betray him once the powers were transferred.

In her mind, this would be dancing with Lucifer himself, and once she accepted the dance how far would she go? It was a thought that she feared, but one she forced to the back of her mind as she played the only card she had left…her.

* * *

"What the hell was that sound?" Seifer listened carefully as an ear-shattering crash broke the silence. "I wouldn't have thought we could hear a damn thing through these doors."

The air in the passageway seemed to have gone up by several degrees as they waited among the shadows. No one had spoken, only waited for some word or sign from Alex that had not yet come. Although five separate entities, their heavy breathing seemed to be in unison, as all knew that waiting was the hardest part.

Squall could feel the pain in his chest with every heartbeat. He wanted to run, to get her and leave this place and these people forever. His mind raced with horrid pictures of her grave, her decaying corpse judging him in utter failure. In the dark, the future always seemed to reflect death, it always had for him.

Alex placed her right hand to the door, ignoring the comments from Seifer. Although still in a pitch black room, she could sense the bright aura surrounding the entrance.

"One of us needs to go now."

"Go where?" Zell asked, saying the question the other four were only thinking.

"Someone needs to go in there; it might be the only way to save her…for now."

"I'll go." Squall's voice was barely audible, but the certainty never wavered.

"No _you _can't…not yet. Whoever goes will serve only as a distraction; we are not meant to go in yet."

"Okay great, now we got the Great-Alexandradini with us. What's up with you? You sound like a bad fortune teller from a telephone hotline," snarled Seifer, he was not one for riddles or games, at least when he wasn't the perpetrator.

"I…I don't know. I can see things, but I don't feel like me…it's like someone else is sharing my body… What I'm seeing…I swear it's not coming from my mind, it's like seeing the memories from my dreams…but this is the future, not the past."

"Ellone…I think Ellone is in the Palace with us. Don't ask me, just trust me on this one."

"Great now we have a psychic, a psycho, and a guy who sees dead people. Tell me again why I volunteered to hang out with you guys again?"

Quistis tapped Seifer lightly, or not so lightly, as it made a distinctive slapping sound against his torso. Even in the dark, the former knight could see the glaring instructor look in her eyes. She wasn't much one for his sarcastic moods when he got in them, which was often, that was one of the many things he learned to love about her.

"I'll go."

"No Zell," Seifer spoke in rare, serious tone. "Look when it comes down to it, you guys need to be the ones standing in the end. The three of you basically run Balamb Garden, and if we make it through, you're going to have more than your share of cleaning up. But if I make it through…I only have four walls and a concrete floor to look forward to. If this is some kind of suicide mission, just think of it as saving the tax-payers money."

At first Quistis almost wanted to break down in tears, _'I only have four walls and a concrete floor to look forward to'. _She thought maybe she meant more than that, but then she realized. He was too scared. Just like Squall would have been, too scared to admit what they feared losing most. He didn't mean his words; he was just convincing the others why he should be the one to risk his life first. Her heart seemed to skip to think of how much he had changed in just a week. Then she realized, he hadn't changed…they had. Maybe they were all a little more like him now, a little more cynical and worldly. Somewhere along the way, they found a medium, or maybe it was just the inevitability of time. Whatever it was, she hated it.

"Seifer…no." The words came out as a disparate plea, but even Quistis now admitted that Seifer was the logical choice. Understanding _that_ reality was something her heart was not willing to do. They had just found each other, now any future could be torn from them.

"Quistis, I have to go. Plus, hey, we don't know if anything will happen, right? It could be a simple little walk in the park compared to one of your junctioning lectures."

"I don't know whether to be insulted or frightened." Her mixture of a laugh and cry tried to make light of the emotions she was feeling.

He grabbed her around the waist pulling her close. To them, they were the only two people in the room, all others faded into the vastness of space. "You know I'm coming back for you."

"I know," she whispered trying not to let fear seep through. Hundreds of missions she had gone on, thousands of men died for lesser reasons. She had always put distance between death and her students. If Squall had been right about one thing today, it would be that their emotion was either going to save them or betray them…today there would be no middle ground.

She felt a press into her side, and reached into her pocket pulling out the small cassette recorder taken from the classroom. She fumbled around the buttons a bit, but never left Seifer's arms. "Here, take this." Quistis placed the plastic object into his hand, and then slid both their hands into his coat pockets. "I found it earlier in the classroom. When you get into the altar room, press the record button. I don't know if it will help or not. Most likely, it will be destroyed…but it's worth the gamble. Just see if you can get something useable on Mitchell, or at the very least something that exonerates Rinoa."

He smiled inwardly, thinking just how levelheaded she was, even in the face of a disaster. "So what do you say that later tonight we go out for dinner? I hear that the cafeteria is serving more Jell-O and pudding?"

"Sounds like a date."

Their lips met, and their hearts beat with unmatched fear. Two people who just found each other, being pulled apart by fate and the mistakes they would have to atone Neither would say the word _'goodbye'_, as it was to final; neither would say _'good luck'_, as it was too clichéd. Neither would forget the moments that they shared between them the last few days; neither would say another word beside the simple phrase that passed between them in unison. "I love you."

For that said it all.

* * *

"What in the hell are you doing?" Kimberley screamed as Mitchell defiantly entered a code on a secondary laptop computer.

"I felt that _my_ troops would be safer if I reinstated the magic field. You know me, _always _thinking about the welfare of my men."

"Bullshit!" The enraged woman yelled as she lowered the handgun to her side. "You know damn well that I can't shoot her when it's up."

"Why is that again dear?" The smugness in his voice could only be matched by the arrogant look on his face.

"Damn you Jefferson, she can't transfer the power properly! I'm not willing to take the chance and mess this up, for all we know she could give her power to the fucking maid."

"In theory." He countered taking a few steps closer to Rinoa. He ran his hand soothingly through her hair as if she was a dog about to be put down at the kennel. "But then again, all this is just theory isn't it? If you really want to shoot her, go for it…take the chance. I've always been a betting man, let's just see what happens if a sorceress can't transfer her power."

"You bastard, you know I won't take the chance…those powers are mine!"

"No, my powers do not belong to you Kimberley." Both of them stood in shock as Rinoa spoke up for the first time during the entire spectacle. She talked with a foreign confidence, as any suggestion of emotion was void from her face or actions. Her words thought out and precise, with only one purpose. "In my observation, the power is ultimately Jefferson's. He did all the hard work and careful planning, he was the mastermind, and you are not even willing to offer him the respect he rightfully deserves? If anyone warrants proper credit and power, it is him. Only a man of his caliber would be smart enough to fool an entire nation."

"You stupid bitch!" Kimberley screamed as she slammed the barrel of the gun into Rinoa's bloody shoulder. The surge of pain ran through the young girl, but she would not yield to it. The lies she was speaking cut deeper than the bite marks on her back.

"Don't touch her."

"What? What the hell does that mean Jefferson? You are going to listen to empty praise from a whore? I thought you a better man than that."

"I said _'don't touch her'_ and if you are going to call anyone a whore, I fully suggest that you take a look in a mirror…or your bank account, whichever speaks the truth louder. I believe you my dear fit the definition to a tee."

Rinoa glared at the other woman seizing the opportunity. So many times she had hidden in the grass, now it was time she would strike like the snakes slithering around her. Mitchell's weakness could be turned in her favor, and falsifying her loyalties might be the key.

"Kimberley, how could you? He gave you everything you needed, everything that any woman could ever need or want. This is how you repay your debt, by betraying his simple wishes? Think of the immense power that he was offering…him ruling and you sitting _faithfully_ by his side. But for all his hard work you treat him like this? He doesn't deserve you. He deserves someone better. Someone who can see his vision, someone to share his dreams, and someone who would never dare question his word."

The words seemed to flow off her tongue easier than Rinoa expected, maybe it was just the adrenaline, or the simple fact this could be her only way of survival. For this to work she had to truly believe the lies she was speaking, moreover he had to believe her conviction.

The emotion didn't go unnoticed by Mitchell, quite the opposite. He seemed to almost revel in the praise, albeit surprising from his captor.

"You could take a lesson from her Kimberley _darling_, you must admire her sensibility and reasoning even in the most grave of circumstance."

"You are being a fool Jefferson! Don't even listen to her, she is just trying to drive us apart, you are falling blindly into her trap. Just take the goddamned barrier down, and kill her!"

Mitchell lifted his hand from Rinoa's hair, he moved until he was facing her. She seemed to have a look of indifference upon her face, before it changed to a small smile that seemed to soothe some of his anger. Somehow even with the physical alterations to Kimberley, she couldn't compete with the inner beauty of the original. Something about Julia…_Rinoa_…was so stunning so elegant in her simplicity.

The young sorceress looked directly through his eyes, saying words that he could have only dreamed. "You know, I tried once. I tried to take over Leonhart, but he was too weak, he could never handle the immense power. Maybe I waited around to find a man as strong as I was. If Squall had truly been worthy as a knight, he would have never doubted me, you never did. Jefferson…you _knew_ I never killed Ellone, not that I couldn't do it on a whim, but when the others failed - _you succeeded_. I just want a person who believes in me, one I could share my life and power with. Strange how I knew him since the day I was born."

"Shut her up!" Kimberley shouted losing any composure she had maintained during the grotesque display unveiling before her eyes.

Rinoa stood slowly with a newfound confidence, as neither woman backed down from their stance. It was like looking in some distorted mirror, and Rinoa only seeing the inner demons of herself in the reflection. Even Kimberley's outward beauty was lost once her true nature shown through. But the young woman wasn't going to back down, she was too far into this now, too much was at stake for her, and for all intents and purposes, she could tell her lies were working.

The young sorceress' voice never raised passed a soft octave, always spoke melodiously but firmly, almost as if casting a spell. "See Jefferson, see how she talks to you. You don't deserve that, you deserve better. I could serve you better than she ever could. I _will_ serve you better than she ever could."

The last words were the only one that she winced at silently. The simple act of _serving_ someone as vile as the President made her skin crawl. But they were words without meaning, at least to her. She would never serve anyone, not any man, nor would anyone ever serve her as some supreme being of Hyne. She was a person, she was a soul mate, she was a mother, she was never anything more or less, and she was going to get through this one way or another…no matter the consequences.

There was a discomfited hush, as the only sounds were the resentful breaths Kimberley was trying to take. Holding the revolver in her shaking hand, it would be so elementary to pull the trigger…she didn't need either of them. Shooting Mitchell and then Rinoa would be a simple, yet believable lie… The Sorceress killed the President, and then turned on his fiancée; it was all an act of self-defense. Then she would share power with nobody, it truly would be absolute.

The door behind the desk slowly opened, and all three figures turned in shock. Rinoa's heart skipped a beat, feeling as she had been caught cheating in a deadly game. Knowing that Seifer wasn't aware of the role she was playing, she only hoped that he would catch on, and understand, before it was too late. It also occurred to her this might be her one chance of making sure that Allison was truly safe at Garden, and not within the clutches of Mitchell.

Seifer looked at the scene unfolding before him, as both women mirrored each other in looks. The thought of two Rinoa's almost made him laugh aloud, even in the dire circumstance. _"Bet Squall would love to handle two of them and their unpredictable mood swings." _His musings cut short when he noticed the business end of a semi-automatic weapon staring him down.

"Glad you could stop by Mr. Almasy, nice to see someone will be here to witness the execution. Suppose I should be surprised by your untimely arrival, but truthfully nothing shocks me anymore."

He called out and two of the President's personal bodyguards dashed into the office from the main doorway. They quickly ran over to the intruder, restraining him with more force than necessary. Seifer wasn't fighting, he didn't even attempt any form of struggle, only locked his eyes on Mitchell the entire time. One ripped off his trench coat, tossing it hastily to the side, as another searched his person for any weapons. They found nothing.

He wondered why Alexandra claimed it so important for only one in the group to enter the room. It seemed that they could have easily overtaken the President, Kimberley, and the two soldiers. As if fate answered his question, a small legion of soldiers appeared, painstakingly checking the room for other trespassers. Now at least he understood why only one was sent in…_for human bait_.

A few of the troops entered the room from where Seifer had emerged, he tried not to look nervous, but the idea of the others being captured weighed heavily on his mind. The men exited the shrine, signaling an all clear to their leader. It was evident that they had no prior knowledge of the passageway; it was also evident that the President wasn't volunteering that vital piece of information. The blond man wondered why Mitchell wouldn't have them search back there, for it would have been the most logical hiding place, but he was extremely grateful that nobody did.

Walking closer to him, the Galbadian leader lifted a single hand. The men understood the order, and started hitting Seifer repeatedly in the abdomen. He tried to mask the pain through years of training, but with each blow, his entire body became more tender and the agony harder to mask. When they finally stopped the beating, he lay kneeled as the two soldiers supported most of his weight by his shoulder blades. His eyes caught a glimpse of the broken monitor, the glass reflecting in the light. He realized that must have been the sound that echoed through to them, somehow alerting Alex to the events.

The President walked over to the fallen man, staring at him with pure revulsion. Although in reality, Mitchell had no true reason to hate the pitiful man…it was just his nature. Moreover, Seifer Almasy had been a black eye to the entire Galbadian population since that incident in the Second Sorceress War. He was a disgrace to the title of 'knight,' so wretched …so weak.

"Where the hell is Leonhart?"

"I don't know, maybe deep-sea fishing." Seifer's smug answer nowhere reflecting the situation he was in.

"This is not a time to be joking around, do you have any idea who you are dealing with?"

"Yes…I have a good idea, can I have fries with that?"

At that comment, Mitchell rammed him over the head with the barrel, rendering him unconscious. Rinoa was silently pleading to the gods that her former boyfriend was still alive, and would say nothing further to enrage the unstable man. She had already watched her father die by his hand, losing another would be too much to bear. Thankfully, Seifer passed out before being executed; it seemed to be commonplace with anyone who crossed the President's path.

"Either of you ladies have a good idea of what to do with our little friend the Deling Cockroach here?"

"Hyne Jefferson? What is your problem? Shoot him, shoot her…just get this bloody ordeal over with, so we can claim our place in history!"

"So, Kimberley…your vote is to shoot him right here, right now?"

"Have you completely gone insane?"

His stomach tightened in a knot at the notion of his mental condition, nobody…nobody dared to question it and live. He took a breath, before turning toward Rinoa posing the same to her.

Rinoa realized that with his wording of the question, and the statement of voting, there would be more than one viable answer. She had to think like him, think the reasoning of a madman… She had to give a credible response, one that would save both her and Seifer, or at least buy them valuable time. With an incorrect answer, they would be nothing more than a memory and a stain on his carpet.

She closed her eyes before speaking, glad that Seifer couldn't hear her words.

"Every death should serve a purpose, what use would it be to dispose of him here? If you kill him now, the proper moral may never be served. Take him down with the other sewer rats, to have him killed among his own kind. They will learn the consequence of betraying the most powerful man in the world; show the infidels a glimpse into their own future."

The President walked over to Rinoa with a haughty grin. He placed his arm around her, and she forced herself to lean her head upon his shoulder. The mental detachment from any form of intimacy was something she had been accustom to living with Richard Bennett. Now all of the memories of those years were flooding back overtaking her senses. She could go through the motions of caring, never once meaning them. It was habit, it had become almost easy, and that scared her to death.

"You should listen to your sorceress." Mitchell motioned to his men. By the looks on their face, they were as shocked as Rinoa. She could see the uneasiness pass over their faces, but their duty kept them bound to the President. Finally, one of them stood at attention giving the man a salute.

"Now, how is that Esthar situation coming along?"

"Sir, we seem to be regaining full capacity and there are no reported causalities yet, only two missing junior officers. We believe Esthar is playing a game with smoke and mirrors, there is no legitimate threat at this time."

"The 'legitimate threat' is that they already hindered us enough to leave us behind schedule. This event should have been foreseen. Tell the press there will be a news conference in an hour discussing the _'new' _status of the sorceress. Now take Mr. Almasy down to be executed among the prisoners. Make sure he is bound and gagged, make it a spectacle those lowlifes and ingrates will never forget."

He paused watching the two men begin to lift Seifer's limp body off the ground. He glanced around the room and noticed Kimberley standing quietly in the corner. The man smiled, nodding his head towards her.

"You already know, don't you? You're thinking of simply aiming your gun and pulling the trigger. Yet reason assures you will be dead before you can raise your weapon."

The woman knew that he was lost, lost within the dementia of his mind. There was no going back, there was no reasoning with him. She cursed herself for not killing Rinoa when the chance presented itself. So proud, so sure of her own importance, Kimberley knew that she would never be able to leave.

"Jefferson, I planned this from day one. It was suppose to be me assuming the throne of power. You could have never made it this far. Now you turn your back on me…for the fucking bitch we accused in the first place. You could have never done this without me…I am the one who deserves this…you are nothing. Your fate will be sealed in your ignorance."

Her voice spoke in a calm tone, as if reading the incoherent sentences from a bad script. She had already accepted her destiny. She could get in one shot if she moved quickly. Before she had the opportunity to raise her weapon, she was grabbed forcefully from behind, and tossed onto the ground like so many other criminals. As the two guards subdued her in handcuffs, the President could only laugh.

"Goodbye Kimberley, it has been _fun_."

"You are a fucking insane bastard." She spoke resentfully at him as they dragged her out the door. She looked back one last time, spitting towards him with all the force she could muster.

The President never wavered at the outburst, content with the one woman he longed for standing faithfully by his side. Waving a finger, he stopped the last guard before he exited the door. Casually he ordered, "Kill that one first. Don't forget to get any jewelry she's wearing, hell I paid for it all, and make sure you tape it for posterity. You never know when I'll need a good laugh."

* * *

"What do you mean the feeling is gone?"

"I don't know Zell, I just felt as if something lifted from me…now I can't sense anything. Could it be the Guardian doing this?"

"No, I don't believe so…" Zell scratched the back of his head trying to think clearly for a moment, and then suddenly closing his eyes. Concentrating he cast a simple cure spell toward Quistis. The spell quickly reflected from it destination before fizzling into nonexistence. "The magic barrier is up, whoever or whatever was helping you must be blocked."

Squall leaned against the wall, wondering how he was supposed to accept this sign. In his mind, there was a huge comfort knowing that with the barrier in place, Mitchell would most likely not kill Rinoa. Now that Alex had lost any psychic ability or connection to Ellone, they were once again on their own. He couldn't take the waiting anymore, the one thing that kept him in the shadows had now recessed back into Alexandra's mind.

"Stay here, I'm going in. Be ready as backup."

"Squall you can't!" Quistis reached her hand out, finding the thickness of his wrist. "I can't lose both you right now. We have to give Seifer a chance; I'm sure he will—"

"Will what? When this goes down, I don't want to spend my life regretting that I was doing nothing more than standing in a closet when the only person I ever loved was being brutally murdered. Quistis, I can't live life like that. I won't spend more of my life like I have the last few years. Allison deserves more from me than that…I've spent too much time _watching_…now I'm _doing_."

"Hyne be with you," her voice spoke in barely a whisper. She held on to his arm just a little longer, not wanting him to leave, as if holding him would solve everything… Return everything to how it should have been, to the future they never lived. She had already watched one person she cared about walk away, now she was watching another. She finally removed her hand, shaking slightly when the contact broke.

Zell offered warning to his companion. "Hey man, before you go in there, I just want to warn you…it's disturbing to say the very least. Don't let what you see get to you, although it will be harder than hell not to..."

Choosing not to respond, Squall dismissed the comments as nothing more than over-cautious advice from a friend. If ever he should have taken words to heart, it would have been then. Opening the passageway, nothing could prepare him for what lie ahead. No amount of warning or description could have brought the mental sting to light. The door closed softly behind him, as the faint sound of the latch clicking was the only noise in the room. He stood in horror of what his friends had already witnessed, but to him it was far more personal.

Every facet of her life documented and most of his life within his recollection stamped on the walls. How could he have allowed this to go unnoticed? Years of sitting beside the same man whose mental status now spell-bounded him. Was there ever the slightest indication? Could any of this ever have been foreseen or prevented? The pictures depicting her younger days showed the deep-rooted fixation. Squall confessed to himself that he could've never stopped the intoxication of Jefferson Mitchell's delusions then, but anything after her seventeenth year, a true-knight should have known…would have known.

He knocked many of the contents on the floor, and unlike his comrades, Squall Leonhart did not care what was destroyed in the process. There lay a leather-bound folder he hesitantly picked up, still not in control of all his faculties. Notes on every aspect of her life adorned the pages, including detailed reports on Squall's behavior during her absence.

The first pages documented pieces of information on Rinoa's childhood, and every action that Caraway would make. For a moment, he felt an emptiness concerning the man, a new understanding of why his death was so easy for Mitchell to dismiss. It wasn't just a random occurrence, it was something that had been fantasized about for years, and in what better fashion that at Garden? It was the death of a rival, although one never knew of the rivalry. Squall understood that _his own_ death would bring the same type of satisfaction to the President, and swore more now than ever to make it through this without giving him that satisfaction.

He flipped a few more pages back; it listed all of Rinoa's favorite things over the years. From a favorite stuffed teddy bear given to her by her cousin, to her favorite food during her school years, her favorite flowers, her favorite music, her favorite foods…every small detail that eluded him. The serpentine hiss of breath filled the room, as the anger battled with his pride. He slammed the binder against the wall, throwing it with tremendous force. Had he even taken the time to learn that her favorite flowers were lilies? Hell, up to right now he wasn't even sure of why she'd changed her last name, nor if it was even a legal change…he never bothered to ask. He never thought to care about such things. He had bothered only to keep one small picture of her, and this man had kept literally thousands. It sickened him that some lunatic would have been a better _theoretical_ boyfriend than he had even been.

The pictures, the pictures of her all seemed to be staring straight at him. Thousands of her eyes upon him each filled with disappointment. He realized now why he had been allowed to keep his command, moreover, his life. It was never to capture the sorceress, but to be used as collateral for her return. The sad irony was, he wouldn't have to marry Quistis…he would have been allowed to keep his post for Mitchell's selfish desires. He needed Squall. For years, he believed that bastard only sought power, and on some level, he did. Even power had its superior and that was the obsession over another human being. The power was secondary to finding Rinoa, not for the safety of the country, but for him to covet like a fucking prize.

The enraged knight reached with a shaking hand, skimming the same photographs the others had already seen. He picked up the one where Mitchell's head had been imposed over his body, and the man couldn't help but let out a cross between a growl and a scream. With force, he ripped it into two pieces, and when that didn't curb his anger, he ripped it into a hundred more.

Ellone, Quistis, Rinoa, Allison, Mitchell, Seifer, anger, hate, lies, and betrayal…all a mix of passions flooding like a dam, two years of emotion took its toll. A hazy cloud blurred reality for a moment, as he caught sight of his gunblade. When he grabbed it from its stand, he could tell by feel it wasn't truly Lionheart, but he didn't care. It was close enough, and that bastard would suffer by its hand.


	10. Antipathy, Hatred, Peace, and Epilogue: Salvation

**Chapter Thirty-Nine: Antipathy **

A cold breeze drifted through the hallway, and its three inhabitants felt it not only pass through enclosed space, but through their bodies. It was more chilling than any air conditioning vent could possibly produce. Like an omen for them to leave, each suddenly felt uncomfortable within the dark confines.

"It's been long enough, I think we should go in after him."

"No, I think Squall needs to do this alone, he has his own demons to face."

"Quistis, I understand that…what if we get in there too late? We might not even hear any signal given to us. He was right about one thing, just sitting here waiting like bystanders is not doing us any good."

"I know…" her voice softly trailed off for a second, secretly concerned about the other that entered before the commander. "Zell, he's in there with Seifer, and whatever they're doing, it's their redemption."

"So, _your_ redemption is to stand in the dark?" He bit his lip after the words came out more sharply than he meant. It wasn't as if during the past few days, either had time to work out the underlying issues standing between them. Zell had never handled Rinoa's disappearance well, and his haunting visions just compiled his emotions upon her return.

Quistis desperately wanted to say something to make the situation better; to apologize, to beg forgiveness, to do anything...but right now wasn't the time to get into sorting history. In this instance, she felt her silence was the best approach, although guilt was starting to take hold once again. Seifer, Squall, and Rinoa…she could feel each of their blood staining her hands. If something happened to any one of them, her friends would be lost to her forever; s_he_ would be lost to her forever.

Alex had been quiet during their exchange. She held her arms closely to her body, trying to warm herself. Something was telling her to get out of there, even if no official order had been given. Whether it was the fear of the unknown, or the uneasiness rooted from the discomfort in the room, everything seemed on a more urgent scale. She didn't ask permission before starting to locate the door handle. She just had to get the hell out. Zell tried to pull her back, but her resolve only grew stronger.

"Calm down Alex, are you sensing something again?"

"No, I just need to get out of here, it's so damn cold."

For the first time Quistis turned the helmet's flashlight back on, they had been conserving the batteries usage. The light first shined on Zell, and he instinctively covered his eyes in a natural reaction.

"Hey, watch where you are pointing that thing!"

"It's gone!" Alexandra's fears were getting the better of her, and try as she might, she was unable to locate the door latch.

"No Alex, it's here. You probably just got turned around in the dark, but I still don't think we should go in…"

Moving the light around, Quistis scanned the two by fours that lined the passageway. She moved to where Alex had her hand placed, and then scanned slightly past that. Feeling as if she was missing the most obvious place, the instructor started to get upset at her own ignorance. She noticed each board was numbered from original construction and all were closely placed together for added support. She followed the number pattern for a good five meters either direction, knowing that none of them had ventured more than that since Squall left the area. Reaching her hand out, she tapped each one, mentally counting them off. On the off chance they had been turned around, she then scanned the other side. She noticed that the supports were just as close together, and there was no sign of an entryway.

"It's gone…" The words came out of her mouth, and even she couldn't believe them.

"What the hell?" Zell held Alex tighter as her phobias continued to grow, and now there was the added reality they couldn't find the exit.

Quistis tried to remain logical and calm, knowing that Squall might need their help. She knew the only other way would be the route they had marked on the buildings blueprints, but that would mean some backtracking downstairs. Time was of the essence if they were called, so she knew that one of them would have to make a decision quickly.

"We're going back down. We stick to the original plan…head back toward the classroom." Grabbing Alexandra's wrist, she lead her down the dark corridor. The stillness of the air had returned, and any sign of movement faded back at their waiting place. She carefully went down the stairs, until the passage finally dead-ended back at the classroom door. Shining the light, she mentally checked that there was _actually_ an exit on this end.

Opening the door a tad, she checked for any Galbadian personnel in the room. When it was clear, the three walked back into the classroom closing the door behind them. The three just stood there…somewhat in disbelief. Quistis felt the same cold chill pass through her as earlier, freezing in momentary shock. She carefully guarded her weapon, as did Zell, both prepared for anything of combatant nature; it was the unexplained nature they feared. The two SeeDs exchanged a look, as if to dismiss the incident upstairs as human error. Somehow, each must have missed the obvious, fears and emotion most likely took over reasoning.

"We better get moving." Quistis pointed across the class to the other door, "That was the one we marked."

"This one wasn't on the map," added Zell, restating comments from their earlier conversation in that very room.

"Yeah…" Her soft words trailed off.

They exchanged one last look, reading each other's mind as they had done in so many other life-threatening situations. Like two curious children, they re-opened the door, making sure their doubts were put behind them. Somehow, in that moment they weren't twenty-three-year-olds but scared five-year-olds afraid of what they would find on the other side. What they found defied logic, defied any known reason…a janitorial supply closet.

* * *

Rinoa felt a strange eeriness when she was left alone with Mitchell. If she could have reached a gun, she would have shot him on sight, but now another factor weighed heavily on her mind…Seifer. He had come in there for her benefit; she knew his arrival was planned, sending him unarmed on its own would be a careless, illogical move. He was to serve as a distraction, but along the way, something went wrong…she wouldn't let him sacrifice his life for hers.

If they did execute Kimberley first, that would buy her a few precious minutes. She shivered at the momentary thought of hoping another human being would be slain before another one. Her life was not worth the price that her friends were each willing to pay, and she would be damned to lose someone else she cared about. If there was one thing she learned was that men had their weakness. If her calculations were correct, pretending to seduce Mitchell wouldn't prove to be a difficult task, at least on his end…

He hadn't said anything since the others left, which was good as the sound of his voice made her sick to her stomach. He led her by the hand over to the desk, and she sat on the edge. Reaching in his pocket, he grabbed a set of keys, fumbling around for a long silver one. Tenderly he undid her handcuffs, massaging the red imprints left on her skin. She looked into his eyes and smiled sympathetically, he was trembling like a schoolboy left alone with a teacher. She suppressed her desires to kill him, as each action he made seemed to heighten her inner turmoil.

She felt a relief when he let go of her wrists, walking around to the other side of the desk. Reaching in a drawer, he pulled out what appeared to be white fabric. As he carefully undid the cloth, she could tell it was a gown and an outer lace robe. He held them up, as if proud of the garments.

"These were made for your execution, but now they will be for your christening. Your soul will forever be bonded to mine, and together we will be as one. Julia I shall inform your subjects that you have been reborn, and their day of reckoning is here. They will serve you, they will honor you, and they shall say our names in unison."

Rinoa's hand grew tighter into a fist; she had not realized the true scope of his dementia. She wasn't sure how to handle the situation, even with Bennett she could retreat into solitude. Right now, she wished this man would have hit her, broken her ribs, done anything but bring her mother into the moment. It was easier to handle the physical abuse, but hearing the name of her mother from the lips of this man…was far too much.

He set the robes on the desk, and made a gesture with his hand. She tried to smile calmly, as she reached down feeling the fabric. She felt the texture of the lace, and the delicate satin that the robe was made from.

"I had these designed by the finest tailors in Deling; the fabric was imported from Esthar, while the lace was handmade by Shumi Elders. I spared no expense in making these, as you are worth every Gil my angel."

"They're beautiful," she gasped. It was the first words spoken that weren't a lie, even she could appreciate the craftsmanship and quality of the ceremonial dress. Continuing to run her fingers along the edge of the fabric, she felt his presence as he came up behind her. He moved his hands around her waist, pulling her back tightly against his body.

"You have to put them on for me now, I can't wait a moment longer to see you in them."

She tried to think of an excuse not to comply, but she needed him to believe her loyalty. Turning, she ran her fingernails seductively across his chest. "Jefferson, I will do whatever you wish, but what of your troops? What if they do not accept me? I'm afraid they will say that I have cast a spell upon you, and shall call for my death."

He moved his palm to her cheek, as if reassuring her that he could protect her no matter the cost. "My darling angel, no man alive shall ever bring you pain. If they believe you have cast a spell, then show them the true power you possess, and then they will know better than to question your will."

She looked her eyes downcast to the floor, acting as if ashamed. "Right now the injections have suppressed my powers. I would have no way to defend myself." He kissed her on the lips, and for the first time she didn't pull away, although it was certainly a natural reaction to have the urge to become ill. His touch burned her soul as if deadly poison, and the pain was increasing with each moment. She kept her mind focused on Squall, and Allison, and of anything pure or good. She purposely let him be the one to break the kiss, as he stared into her earthen brown eyes.

"Rinoa, those injections were only experimental, we couldn't test them on an actual subject. Your powers have not been bound for good. In fact, I believe some of your natural abilities should be returning shortly. But Julia, as I said, it is pure speculation on the scientists' behalf."

If not for the fact of the encouraging news, she would have been completely horrified that within the same paragraph he had called her by two separate names. What a paradox it was when she, only a few days ago, had wavered between two identities. At one point fighting between the personalities of Rinoa and Renee, her mind might not have registered his obvious error. Now she wondered how truly sick she, herself, had become or if reality had now permanently settled back into her psyche. Fearing that in this game, she might blur the lines of reality. She could only pray that wouldn't happen. Before during the battle for her mind, she felt betrayed, but now the trust of her knight could keep her within this reality…she hoped.

He noticed her apprehension, not about at him, but about something she was silently fighting within herself. Placing a finger on her chin, he made her look in his eyes. "I know what would help, you put the robes on, and I'll take down the anti-magic barrier. That way if one were to stray from the flock, you could set him in his place."

That hadn't been her intention, hell, she wasn't sure what her intentions were anymore, but that would be a great help to the others. The President had all but forgotten about Squall being in the building, or the attack by Esthar. She allowed him to kiss her again, before he headed around the desk toward his laptop. Looking at the clock sitting on the desk, the ticking hands reminded her of the race she was in for Seifer's life.

She grabbed the clothes turning her back toward him. Putting all modesty aside, she removed her shirt and let it fall gently on the floor. She could feel his eyes burning into her back, and was trying to hurry, without looking like she was rushing. Gathering the silken garb, she raised her arms allowing it to cascade gentle down her body. When covered by the length of the robe, she took off her pants, landing them in the pile with her top. Body mostly concealed, she turned back toward him allowing him to see her clad in the silken dress.

Moving toward her, he took the outer lace robe and placed it affectionately on her body. She was beautiful, as her dark hair was a sharp contrast to the ashen color of the robes. She didn't need to ask about the field, she could feel some of her abilities returning. Her powers were based on emotion, and when the shield came down, the emotion became almost too intense to control without Squall. She wasn't even sure if they would work yet due to the injections, nor would she even take the chance. If she allowed her darker side to take over, Seifer would surely pay the price, and she would never make it out of the building alive. Everything had to be carefully planned. Timing was of the utmost importance.

He pulled her back toward the desk, again placing her body on its surface. Noticing a small string hanging from a shoulder line hem, he reached in his top drawer grabbing a pair of scissors. The alterations for the robes were only finished last night. They had needed her actual measurements, and not the ones they had guessed from the photographs. The Palace tailor had been forced to work through the night to make sure that every detail was perfect. Once Rinoa actually put them on, the plan was to have Kimberley do any emergency fittings. She had some experience with needlework, and Mitchell had asked the tailor to leave all his supplies in his office.

The flaw in the robes, seemed to agitate the President to a surprising degree, and Rinoa could feel herself losing control of the man. She knew she had to be the sexual aggressor for a second, to put her plan in motion. She slid one of the straps off her robe, exposing her shoulder and upper breast. The simple act seemed to calm him down his anger, redirecting it into other avenues. Reaching behind her neck, he pulled her in tightly, kissing her with more fervor than before. She tried to return the kisses just as passionately, but found herself choking on her own bile. And like in her worst nightmare, Squall picked that moment to burst into the room. Both figures jumped at his sudden entrance, and Rinoa could all but hide her guilt.

In an act that she could only describe as cowardice, Mitchell quickly pulled her off the desk with force, placing her in front of his body as if a human shield. She trembled in fear for a moment, but from what she wasn't sure…guilt, embarrassment, death? The lion's eyes had a rage she had never seen, a passion that she had only witnessed recently. He had charged in there ready to attack, acting as if consequence didn't matter. She worried what could have done such a thing to him, what act could have made a man of steel crumble like sand.

He had entered the room with such deep intent, but the scene he witnessed must have even caught him off guard enough to regain his balance. He lowered the gunblade in shock as the passion changed to pain before Rinoa's eyes…at least she thought.

Mitchell tightened his hold of her waist, driving her even further into his body. "Will you kill him for me my angel?"

"Of course," she answered without hesitation. Knowing that Mitchell stood behind her she mouthed the word, _"Allison"_ to Squall unsure of whether he could hear her nonverbally right now. She wasn't sure if her powers were strong enough for any other form of communication with her knight.

He nodded once without as much as a syllable uttered. In that second, she made the distinction between what she perceived as pain from betrayal on his face, to the pain he felt for failing her…and making her dance with this devil. She smiled at him knowing he wouldn't understand exactly why, but she realized they were stronger than they were two years ago in Deling. This time they believed in each other… She had seen those eyes years before, but this time she understood them. _Squall knew_. Allison was safe, which just left freeing Seifer, and then getting the hell away from this place. There was no way she and Squall could make it to the jail on time, so she had to stick to the idea of Mitchell releasing him, with one minor adjustment.

She prayed to Hyne he would understand. Rinoa had no idea if her thought would reach him, but she couldn't speak aloud in front of Mitchell. _"I have to save Seifer, play along…Forgive me, I love you."_ The knight heard his sorceress speak the words in his mind, before the realization of their meaning could register.

She lifted her palm toward Squall, cruelly laughing as she tossed her head back onto the President's shoulder. With one flick of her wrist, a bolt of energy radiated out from her hand, and followed its path like a lightening towards a metallic rod. The feeling sent shockwaves through his body, and he grabbed his chest in pain. His eyes met hers and he could feel the pounding of his heart within his torso, whether it was from voltage coursing through his veins or her actions, he didn't know. He just could feel the pain.

And then darkness.

She was taken aback by the power that she had managed to use. For a moment, her world became slightly cloudy as if she was coming off some drug-induced high. Her body truly wasn't accustomed to using such energy, let alone to be in such a situation. She wanted to look back at Squall, to make sure he was okay, but she was sure that he had managed to handle the strike, and any Guardians would protect him from major blows. He would understand her actions in a second, and play along until they were ready to strike. She felt Mitchell release his tight grip from her body, spinning her around to his face. Now he looked like the rival lion that had just made its kill claiming his domain…such a proud, foolish, and spineless man.

Smiling toward him, she ran her delicate fingers seductively through her own hair joking, "He was always a pain in my ass anyhow."

The President almost seemed dumbfounded by the swiftness of her actions. He slowly parted from his _trophy_, letting his fingers brush with hers as he walked toward the fallen warrior. Looking down, the President couldn't have been more pleased with any other outcome. He finally had whom he obsessed these many years by his side, and the man who once stood in his way, was no longer a viable threat. Mitchell reached down next to Leonhart's body, picking up one of his shrines prize-possessions, the replicated gunblade that highlighted his collection. Why the weapon held such a deep fascination, even he couldn't understand…but his desire to claim Rinoa was strong, even if events had transpired for him to imitate another.

Running his hand over the handle, Mitchell followed the gunblade to where the blade began and the revolver ended. He took his index finger placing it on the silvery edge, allowing the razor-sharp edge to slice his skin. It was a deliberate act, as if commemorating the _'kill' _with some blood-oath to her. He moved back toward where she stood, after placing the gunblade on a nearby table.

Raising his hand to her, he ran his finger slowly across her lips, allowing the blood to enter her mouth. Rinoa could taste the almost metallic, bitterness in her mouth. As the repulsive liquid filled all her senses, understanding of this man's psychosis became overwhelming; she no longer thought she could contain her obvious disgust. She had to get this over with quickly, to take the initiative so Seifer could be spared. Turning taking another step toward the desk, she once again let the material fall from her shoulder. Spinning back around quickly almost playfully like a cat, she jumped up to a sitting position removing the lacey outer garment completely.

"We don't need Leonhart, but I might need that _other _one."

She looked at Mitchell mischievously, motioning with her finger for him to move closer. "That Almasy guy, he was Ultimecia's knight, he'll know how to handle me… just like you do." She lifted a finger to his chest tracing a line up to his neck. "Spare him, you can keep that one as a trophy. He's already dead." She motioned her head toward the man lying on the floor.

"What about you?" Mitchell asked under his breath before leaning over to her, their lips almost touching. "What do you want as a trophy?"

Again, she laughed aloud with a sultry look, "Spare Almasy…and you'll find out. I need him, just like I _need_ you."

He moved the centimeters in kissing her, as he had done earlier. This time she reciprocated the action, this time it was she that bit passionately at his lip. Knowing this was almost over was the only thing getting her through; she only hoped Squall would understand in the end. Rinoa leaned back further, moving her hand over to the intercom. "Before we get too carried away, make the call…spare_ him_." He fumbled around as he put all his weight upon her, reaching over to the button.

_"Yes, Mr. President, sir."_

In between forceful kisses, he tried to speak. "Yeah…changed my mind…we might need Almasy…have him escorted up here…"

_"Sir we were about to execute…"_

"Do you doubt my word? Do you want your death the next I order?"

_"Never sir,"_ the voice slightly faltered on the other end. _"We will bring him up to your office right away."_

"No, give me twenty minutes or so." He grinned at Rinoa wickedly, pulling their bodies tighter together. "…Then bring him…to me…we found a use for him."

Knowing she had just bought Seifer some valuable time, enough to rescue him, Squall would take her cue. Rinoa waited a second for a response, as she opened one eye watching for the impending attack. She had no doubt in Squall's ability as a knight or as a military leader to know when they had trapped their enemy.

_"Get this bastard off me!"_ Her mind finally called out to him, when she couldn't take the hideous torture. Every second of this nightmare was killing her, every second she was falling deeper into the world she had escaped. She was trying to surpass the horror, holding fast to everything she had taught herself.

_"Squall?"_ Still nothing…not within her mind, nor a noise from the floor. _"Hyne now…Squall…please! I can't do this any longer…please." _

She turned just enough to see him still lying unconscious on the ground. This wasn't supposed to be, it hadn't happened like this before…she used more energy with Richard Bennett that night she escaped in Trabia; it only knocked the wind out of him for a minute and he was never unconscious. She was physically weaker now, with some foreign substance running through her veins.

This was just circumstance, a combat maneuver… Then she remembered, something she had forsaken…with her knight around her powers multiplied, and she became stronger. She hadn't known her own abilities, nor that her magic would multiply tenfold when used upon him. When he continued to lay there not moving, she finally thought the unthinkable…she might have actually just killed him.

* * *

* * *

**Chapter Forty: Hatred**

There were no words to articulate how confused each felt, the three stared at the closet in complete shock. It wasn't as if they were insane, they had all been in _that_ hallway…even Seifer and Squall had been within its depths. Maybe there was some elaborate holographic projector protecting the existence of the passage, one that had been damaged when the Estharian attack occurred. Maybe the illusion had something to do with the anti-magic field, although none had heard of such a thing, it wasn't an impossibility, right? Quistis held the doorknob tighter, her grasp increasing as more possible solutions ran through her mind.

The sound of a key being inserted into the far door made them temporarily forget about the question they couldn't answer. In unison, all jumped back into the closet, although each felt uncomfortable at doing so. When Zell first entered, his feet caught on a mop that was lying on the floor, which completely blew Quistis' projector theory. Whatever was in there was definitely solid objects, and not holographic projected ones.

Four soldiers entered the classroom, shutting the door behind them. Quistis could see through the keyhole just a bit, enough to tell that they were not in there on official business. One pulled out a pack of cigarettes, and then passed it around to the others. Three sat on the tabletops, and the fourth seemed to be acting as lookout to the main hallway door. It was obvious by their demeanor, they weren't supposed to be on this smoking break. If years of training had taught the young SeeD anything, it was that this time-off was certainly unauthorized. It had been an almost everyday occurrence being a teacher; whether it was students at Garden, or members of the Galbadian Army didn't seem to make much difference, basic human behavior was universal.

The three stood silent as the soldiers conversation seemed to echo through the vacant class. It wasn't as if they were speaking in a loud tone, their voices carried a great distance within the hollowness.

_"This is just fucking unbelievable, first we spend two years looking for her, now we are taking orders from her?"_

_"You know, I heard rumors from some of Mitchell's personal guards that he's completely obsessed with her…in a downright freaky way."_

_"My brother works up in Alpha-Blue unit, and he said the creep even has some shrine to her or something…but it's supposed to be 'eyes only.' Even talking about it could get you shot."_

_"I heard about that once, figured it was another one of the baseless rumors around here."_

_"Oh, and what about that Almasy guy they're going to execute? Caleb, didn't you used to work for him?"_

At the sounding of Seifer's name, Quistis tensed up as her heart momentarily stopped in mid-beat. It was only a split-second later that the word 'execute' registered, and suddenly her world sank. _"No,"_ was the only word that ran repeatedly through her mind. The closet they were standing in, unlike the hall, wasn't completely within the dark. Streams of light entered from around the doorframe, allowing their silhouettes to be seen to one another.

Quistis paused as she felt someone coming up next to her, and even more surprise when the figure placed an arm around. She could tell by the touch it was feminine, and was surprised as Alex crouched next to her offering silent emotional support. She truly had been Rinoa's only friend during the entire ordeal, and had no earthly reason to comfort her figurative enemy, but that's exactly what she did.

And in that moment, the instructor first noticed the similarities that Alexandra shared with an older sister she had never known. She wasn't the outspoken, sometimes coarse person who all but ignored Quistis the last few days. The human heart could only handle so much before it wanted to reach out, Ellone would have been proud. It is hard to think about losing someone you love, that language was universal, even to someone whose acquaintance goes no further than sharing oxygen hiding in a closet. Alex never said a word, or offered more than the comfort of letting Quistis know she wasn't alone…but it was enough. Fighting back the tears, she listened as the soldiers continued to speak to one another.

Her attention turned back toward the outward scene with a slight bit more urgency. She watched as the guard seemed to linger on his last drag of the cigarette before answering.

_"Work for him? That's a far cry from reality; he was just some puppet on a string. That's when the last sorceress claimed power. I was first assigned security detail under Vinzer Deling, until Edea clipped his sorry ass. Don't you think these guys will ever learn…get in bed with a sorceress and you die? Ten bucks says this one does Mitchell in within twenty-four hours. Does history not teach these morons anything?"_

_"So Almasy was in bed with that other sorceress, huh? Kinda kinky."_

_"Don't know about that…hell, wouldn't even want to know about that! Just know that the guy came from nowhere acting as if he were Hyne himself…personally I was rooting for Leonhart at the parade. Shit, you know how long it took to put that one float together? It took us three goddamned weeks to build. One float…for an entire parade, you would think these guys would at least get a clue." _

The guard at the door had remained quiet, but bringing up the subject of their former leader and knight, he couldn't help but add his two-cents worth.

_"I worked with Almasy too, fought under him when Balamb attacked Galbadia, guy had me jumping a freakin motorcycle between two flying Gardens…idiot. I'm not upset to see him killed, he was a complete asshole. Hell, I'd actually pay to get a front row ticket…kinda going to miss that other chick though…she was a looker."_

_"Heard she was doing it with the President's entire staff…guess that's why she is being executed first huh?"_

_"Kind of funny that they are going to be killed at the Palace jail in front of everyone._ _ He probably pissed half of them off and she probably screwed the rest of them."_

The door flew open as the position of lookout had been momentarily abandoned. All four jumped to attention tossing away evidence of their habit. It didn't work. They all received a severe reprimand, followed by a formal reciting of Galbadian rules of conduct for military personal. After what seemed like a hundred articles and sections were read, the superior handed them paper, informing each they were going to copy the rules verbatim onto paper.

It seemed like they were going to have their fate sealed in a closet, and Seifer in the prison cell.

"Damn it!" Zell's voice rose a little more than he meant to. He was going to be the last to admit it to anyone, but somehow the idea of Seifer being killed wasn't as enticing as it was four days ago.

"Hey that _birdie-lighting guy_ in my head seems to be making a lot of noise all of a sudden." Alex grabbed her temples at the unfamiliar sensation, and the annoyance of the Guardian still speaking a foreign dialect.

"I don't feel anything different."

"Wait Zell, we've grown accustom to the feeling, maybe the anti-magic field is down again."

"So, why can't Ifrit just _say_ that then?"

"They're here to support us on our journeys, not tell us everything. Some things we must still learn or discover on our own."

Back in the classroom, the four guards sat the table as they were going through the agony of copying the doctrine word-for-word. Not one heard the slight creak of the door, or the word "Sleep" until it was far too late…

If Selphie had one thing going for her, it was that her ideas were timeless…such as stealing three Galbadian uniforms. Unlike earlier when they turned the guards granite, this time they worked together keeping the men indisposed…and in no condition to retaliate. Now three of the four troops were wearing nothing more than t-shirts and boxer shorts…the fourth still kept his uniform, and his dignity, intact…sort of. All four bound and gagged, and then carefully placed in the supply closet. A final sleep spell was cast for good measure, and then the fake soldiers were free to walk blindly out into the hallway.

The trip to the cell could have taken ten minutes, but in their state of urgency they made the long trek in under three. Although the immediate threat of danger had receded for the moment, Deling officials seemed to be more cautious about a second wave of attacks from either Esthar or Balamb. So seeing scattered troops running down the corridors was commonplace, so their haste fit among the masses.

* * *

He never figured his final moments of life to come down to this…maybe something grander or at least not ending in a rat-filled prison. Seifer sat on the hard brick surface that was both a bench and a bed for most of the life-long prisoners. He had his share of cells, but this was by far the worst. Because it was hidden within the walls of the Palace, no civil liberties applied or were completely ignored, and it by any other standards was a no more than a medieval dungeon. It was the place that time forgot and in a few moments, he would be a memory contained within its walls.

He ran his hand through his hair, and then rested his head on the emptiness of the brick wall. Was his end really supposed to be like this? He promised himself one thing, he would not fight…if this was what fate decided, he would forever abide by it. He had given all he could in the last few days, more than he even knew ever lay in is cold-hearted exterior.

He wondered if Rinoa was safe, he wondered if Squall had reached her. Would they have the storybook ending she had often dreamed while spending their summer days sitting on the beach? Even if Seifer wasn't her soul mate, he was glad he had met her, he became a better person in just knowing her. Somehow he figured, whatever those two would have…would never be storybook, but something much more passionate with highest-highs, and deepest-lows, that would try the test of any human soul… Yet, they would make it down the road in the end…if the fates would allow.

He wondered about Alexandra, he wondered if Zell would ever be able to handle her strong mindset. He laughed inwardly when he realized that he and Alex almost shared the same sardonic humor, bet that would truly kill the martial artist to hear that comparison. Hell, the guy took a bullet for her the first day; it took him almost eighteen years to come to that point with anyone. He might have teased him a lot, but in the end, Seifer only had the greatest admiration for the man, and somehow wished he could have been more free-spirited like him…

He wondered about of all those left behind, not by choice, but by circumstance. Would Garden grant the pardon for both Fujin and Raijin? Even in his darkest hours, the former knight believed in Cid. As much as he and the headmaster had fought through the years, when it came down to it, he believed the man in his word. Maybe those two thought too much alike on some accounts, where rules held Cid back, compared to where Seifer walked boldly. He believed Cid and Edea would make it through these events, just as they always had…maybe not completely intact, but they were survivors.

He thought of Selphie, the little messenger girl he had hardly known in their latter years, and of Irvine, the Galbadian man who filled his place at Garden when the tides had turned. Those two had something special between them also, but their passions never seemed to be worn on their sleeves like him or Leonhart. They were more stable, but by no means less zealous than the others. He could understand why Squall trusted in them, if destiny was cruel and Allison was left an orphan.

Then he thought of the countless, nameless masses that he had encountered over the years…some he killed, some were spared, and some no more than specs in his memory. This was the legacy he left, the failure, the deceit, and the myriad of heartache.

He did everything…but think of _her_.

His eyes opened out of their weary state when a loud 'bang' thunder through the room. Two men stood at his cell door, opening the lock. They grasped him, knocking him down to the floor. The first man kicked his ribcage several times, as the other stood by door laughing. Finally they grabbed him, dragging him to his feet. In handcuffs, he was escorted into a central room in the upper regions of the prison. These cells seemed to be for holding, more than long term, as several men were jammed into each one.

He glanced down to the floor, noticing a drain where a river of scarlet blood ran through. He followed the flow with his eyes, until they landed upon the source. A female body was being dragged away, and the blood spilled freely from her temple. The head no longer identifiable, but the dress he had known to be as the woman upstairs with Mitchell. Is this how is life was to end, dragged away like yesterday's trash?

They bound his hands behind his back, not with cuffs this time, but with rope…rope that they pulled tight until it had fused within his skin. They took him to his knees and then blindfolded him, for what reason he didn't know...but maybe in the darkness he would find solitude.

But in the darkness he couldn't help but think of _her_.

His mind raced like a projector running the movie of his life. It was true what they said about your life passing before your very eyes, maybe that is done so your final moments you can truly know what kind of person you were…even if the answer isn't the one you want. But for all the evil, she would always remain the good. Her hair flowing in the sea-breeze in Balamb a week ago, their time aboard the boat, their endless conversations, the things they wouldn't dare speak to another, their heartbeats dancing together in Dollet, and nothing more memorable than the feeling of her skin upon his.

"Do you have any final requests?" The executioner asked, not that he cared about the answer, it didn't matter to him either way.

He wanted to come up with a witty retort, a snappy comeback, so they would always remember him…but he didn't. He shook his head once to signify 'no' and that was it… He wanted to leave this world in peaceful silence, thinking of the one good thing he found in it…Quistis.

"It's your dying right buddy, just don't make a huge mess of my floor, okay?" He heard the man take a few paces back, and then he heard the cock of the gun…

"Hold on!" Another voice called from behind him. "You're not going to believe this shit, Mitchell wants this guy back."

"What the hell? What's going through his fucking mind now? Hope he doesn't want his chick back either, but knowing that sicko, he wouldn't care if she wasn't breathing."

"Look, we just have orders to bring him back up…don't ask me. If we don't we'll be the next on Mitchell's ever-changing hit list."

Seifer felt someone pull him to his feet, yanking off the blindfold. Until that point, never had a jail cell looked like heaven. His mind raced, trying to comprehend all the events that transpired, but they were beyond comprehension…even he knew that. What had changed Mitchell's mind? What had Rinoa done? He hoped that whatever it was, would be forgiven by the others.

They led him just out of the confines of the prison area, and the guard yelled to three other soldiers passing by. "Hey you, I need you to escort this prisoner up to the President's office. Take the long way…he has other _'official business'_ he is seeing to right this second."

The men saluted as the transfer of the prisoner was made. Seifer saw this as his chance to escape, now the only thing bound were his wrists. As if the guard could sense his thoughts, he turned to the prisoner stating, "Don't be a freakin' chicken-wuss and try to escape."

No other time in his life had Zell's voice sounded so comforting, and judging by the size of the other two guards, he had a fairly good idea of their identities. They walked the distance of the corridor, heading up a flight of stairs, never breaking the illusion that all around believed. The four ducked into a vacant room, closing the door tightly behind them.

Quistis was the first to take off her helmet, sweaty hair matted to her face. It was as if she couldn't control her own actions as she threw down her helmet grabbing him tightly, bringing his body next to hers. Their lips met and the sensation of being alive ran throughout Seifer's entire being. When they parted, they just stared deeply into one another's eyes.

"Just so you know it, I've never kissed anyone in a Galbadian uniform before," Seifer smirked raising an eyebrow to her.

"I guess I should be happy about that," she whispered running her hand along his jawbone. "God I thought that…" her words trailed as she leaned her head against his chest.

"I know…me too." He wanted to hold her, to put his arms around her, but still they were still bound by the ropes. "Um, think one of you guys could untie me?"

* * *

"Oh God Squall!" The words escaped her mouth, as she tried to push Mitchell off her.** "No!"**

She managed to snake out from underneath him, running toward the fallen knight. With immense force, she was quickly yanked back by the wrist. She felt a snap in her shoulder, but ignored the pain. Before the realization struck, Mitchell had placed one handcuff around her wrist. While she tried to physically fight him off, her magically abilities were once again dormant, and mental fatigue and exhaustion were taking their toll.

"Squall! I need you!"

"I thought you needed _me_? Damn you lying bitch…now what am I supposed to do?"

"Die," she gasped between tears, "just die."

He slapped her across the face, leaving a blemish that covered the entire side of her jaw. She didn't even wince in pain, nothing else registered at that moment but Squall. "Thanks to you the one person who could have handled your powers is now dead. What do you expect me to do? I have to find someone who will follow my command, someone these imbeciles will follow into power."

He looked at her as he forcefully locked the second cuff around her wrist. "You…it will be you. I can destroy you yet, I will kill everyone you love or have ever cared about one-by-one. Remember I know them all, from your Forest Owl friends to your daughter Rinoa…each will die until you serve me. You know me, you know what I am capable of…remember your joke of a husband I killed at Balamb Garden? I went about this the wrong way before…I will have you. You will be mine."

"I'm _Rinoa_, damn it!" Her words were more to reassure herself right now, afraid of losing her own reality. In between sobs she cried, "Julia was my mother, Allison is my daughter, and Squall is my…oh God…what have I done?"

At the words, he swung her around and tossed her onto his desk. Her head hit the hard surface with force, and she momentarily lost surroundings as her vision darkened from the blow. Mitchell grabbed her forearm tightly, leaving reddened bruises with every abrasive touch. This, this had happened before…too many times. She knew _this_, she knew what was about to happen. She lived it before, but not now. Her vision once again came into focus, and tried to turn her head from him, but he quickly grabbed her jaw making her look him in the eyes. With his other hand, he tore the thin strap, ripping the material completely off her shoulder. Finally he released the vigorous hold on her jaw, and used that hand to gather up the material from below, lifting it past her knees. She tried to kick, but it was no use, as he was more powerful and dominating in the situation. She turned her head away this time, without his objection, as he was worried about other things.

Then she saw _them_, the slight metallic reflection out of the corner of her eye. Her thoughts went back to Deling, to the corner drug store…to where she stole a pair of scissors. She had thought, at the time it was the closest thing to a weapon she could find, in a pinch they would work, and right now, they could be her only salvation. Her hands still remained handcuffed in front of her, but while he was busy ripping at her gown, she took that second to raise her arms over her head.

She tried to roll to her side, as they were just out of fingertips reach. Whether it was miracle or fate, would always elude her. Rinoa didn't know how, she managed to grab the circular handles. The tailor's scissors were far more dangerous than the ones she had taken, with a sharpness that could rival a knife. She closed her eyes, as she clasped the cool metal rings in her hand.

_"Forgive me,"_ she prayed to gods or anyone who would listen. Rinoa opened her eyes, jamming one knee into his groin. He gasped at the pain, liberating his restraint for just one moment. One moment is all she needed. She looked deep into his eyes, into his darkened soul. "I will never be yours!" With power unknown, she plunged the scissors into his chest. She felt the instruments dive deep into muscles and through his ribcage…and then she plunged them in deeper.

The crimson blood spilled out, leaving trails of her sin down her white robe.

She had killed, not as a sorceress, as any other mortal would. Their eyes never parted, and try as she might, she couldn't feel the slightest remorse. A shiver ran through her when she realized how indifferent she felt right now...how much hatred was clouding her very soul.

As Mitchell grabbed at the metal instrument protruding from his chest, the door was knocked with tremendous force. Rinoa turned from the dying man, as the blood was still covering her hands. Quistis was the first to walk in, followed by the other three. The two women momentary looked at one another spellbound, the evidence of guilt clearly shrouded on Rinoa's stained robes.

Turning her attention, Rinoa watched her victim as he struggled for his last standing breaths. Jefferson Mitchell collapsed to the ground, before his eyes slowly shut. She watched every second, every breath he took. It was a fascination from which she could not break, completely still, completely unmoved, and completely void of emotion.

"Hyne…" She heard Alex plea from amid the silence. "Squall… does anyone have some strong cure spells?"

The words brought Rinoa back into her surroundings. "Squall," she softly whispered, before calling it more frantically, "Squall?" She ran over to his side, falling onto her knees beside her knight. She gathered him into her arms, much in the same fashion she had done after time compression. The cuffs made it more difficult this time around, but she wouldn't let him go…not now, not ever.

"I killed him, I killed him." She rocked back and forth cradling his body chanting the manta aloud.

"No," Seifer said placing his forefinger to the commander's throat. "Looks like you knocked him out a little…_or a lot_…but he'll be okay. Just give him a moment. Do you know if the magic barrier is up again?"

"No…it's down," she said as tears fell onto his face, tracing a path on his skin. The excess blood that once covered her body was now soaking into the dark uniform jacket Squall had been wearing. Seifer reached down, casting a Curaga spell, slowly it radiated out of his hands with vibrant hues of lavender.

"Give him a minute." Seifer looked at Rinoa, tucking some stray hair behind her ears. "How, how did you get Mitchell to stop my execution…one more second and I would be…" The words trailed off as he had a hard time accepting them, or maybe the consequences that led to his release.

"I did what I had to do," she whispered. He remained silent accepting her words. He knew that whatever she had done almost cost Squall his life.

"We have the audio-tape of Kimberley and Mitchell hopefully there will be enough evidence on here," offered Quistis. She had gone to Seifer's coat, picked it up, and pulled out the recorder. Hitting the stop button, she walked back, handing the coat back to its rightful owner.

Alex kneeled down and placed her arm around Rinoa trying to offer whatever comfort she could. Silently, the younger girl laid her head upon her friends shoulder, accepting the gesture for all it was worth.

"Rinoa there is a press conference in about thirty minutes, and thanks to Seifer's contacts, they will have a new top story. By morning, the entire world will know of his plan concerning your power, and what he did to you…and to your father, maybe then there can be some closure, and Galbadia can start the process of moving on."

"Hey you." Rinoa looked down in shock to the now conscious person in her arms. "That wasn't very nice…" He managed an uncharacteristic grin, one only meant for her. He brought one hand to his face and rubbed his eyes. "Next time I use Quezacotl, I'll think twice."

"You're welcome to have the Guardian back…he's driving me insane," quipped Alexandra looking down at the SeeD Commander. "Glad to have you among the conscious, Squall."

"Don't you know it," added Zell, bending down contributing his opinion. Squall waved his hand, acknowledging the statement before looking back at the person holding him securely.

"Love you," he whispered. Then for the first time he tried to stare into Rinoa's eyes, but she turned and the realization hit. "You….you killed him." She bit her bottom lip, as she nodded her head, shamefully hiding her face from his. He reached up, trying to wipe some blood from her face, but only managing to spread it around her cheek. "It's okay…you did what you had to do."

She snickered at the irony of the same words she just told Seifer, thinking she thought the same phrase two years ago when she ran. She did what she _had to do,_ she _always_ did what she_ had_ _to do_… For a minute, she was glad that Squall never witnessed the bloody sin, or the hideous act that almost transpired leading up to it. He may never have forgiven himself if he knew the whole truth, but then again, maybe he did know…

"Rinoa, look at me," he pleaded with such sincerity she couldn't refuse him. "It doesn't matter to me. I would have done the same…anything done is forgiven. I love you." He moved his hand through her hair, pulling her down to his lips. She took comfort in the embrace and the emotion that passed between them, something unknown to most. He felt her cringe as he ran his fingers over her arm. "You're hurt." He pulled away slightly tracing the bruises on her jaw.

"I'll be alright, it will heal."

"May I?" The words…_everything_…just like their first encounter in the cabin days ago, when he had asked to cure her broken rib. Everything seemed to be repeating itself in some strange ironic circle. And again, just like that snow-filled night they shared, she gave him permission. He laid his hands upon her and softly uttered the words to heal her…but nothing happened.

She tilted her head slightly shocked that he was unable to use a simple cure spell. "Squall, are you sure you're feeling all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine." He couldn't figure out why the spell wasn't working or his sudden inability to cast magic.

_If for one second_, any of them had put the pieces together. _If for one second,_ they would have logically thought about magical backfire. _If for one second_, they had not let their emotions control their actions. _If for one second_, they had thought that someone had re-activated the anti-magic barrier, from within that very room. But in their haste, they forgot the most basic of battle objectives…

Make sure your enemy is _truly_ down.

In all their warnings, all their visions, everything leading up to this day…they already knew the outcome. Fate cannot be changed, only the clues leading up to it could be discovered. The answer always remained the same, no matter how many times they had dreamed it to be different.

_If for one second_, any of them had seen Mitchell holding up the replica of Lionheart, before he used his last breaths of life…

_If for one second_, they could have warned Rinoa…

_If for just one second…_

* * *

* * *

**Chapter Forty-One: Peace **

Our lives are mere specks upon the shadows of the earth; we are travelers amongst the stars, if only for a brief period of time. Very few legends are passed from generations but those that are, are truly extraordinary. Not only do they keep alive a culture that may no longer exist, but they also keep alive the ideals and morals of a nation. If history is bound to repeat itself, maybe our best defense is the knowledge of the past. We are helpless to stop it, but maybe with some chance, _and some fate_, we will be aware of its coming.

Every war from those civil among countries, to those raged within our minds, must have two opposing sides. What is right, what is wrong? Two different viewpoints; two sides never meeting eye to eye. Is this world, and too many others, so filled with politics that we forget the simplest necessities of life? From the basic of survival…food, water, shelter…to those more secondary? Need, want…love? Is it our right as human beings to have love? Such eternal feelings that we are overwhelmed with all reasonable senses?

We are but passengers upon this world, into the heavens we soar everyday. But when we take our final breaths, does our soul have to also fight a war between two sides? Between right and wrong, good and evil, salvation or damnation? In our final moments, do the politics that have become the norm fade into happenstance? If given an eternity of questions, may we never find the answers?

Legends, wars, politics, life…love…what are they to us in our final moments?

* * *

Some sounds will forever be etched into memory… waves crashing against rocky shoals, a twig cracking under toe on an autumn's day, the first cry of a newborn child. None so haunting to Squall Leonhart as one he had heard a thousand times before… the sound of metal meeting flesh. In one instant the dreams and hopes of two souls would forever change destiny. Neither could have known the outcome, but it was always written within their stars… their shooting, magnificent, and truly dynamic stars.

The sound penetrated the room as if magnified a million times over. It was sharp, piercing, and cut through her very bone. He still lay cradled in her arms, as it the tip of the gunblade emerged from her abdomen. When the metal and flesh collided, a radiating light emitted from her body, temporarily blinding all those around. Her blood now covered him far more than that of Mitchell's, yet she never seemed to show outward signs of pain. It was if her final resolve was to go with dignity, making the suffering her own, and not that of those around. Her angelic smile tried not to weaken, their eyes locked in an emotional bond that went beyond mere words.

"Squall, sure…you feel…all right?" she gasped between broken breaths. Her only concern remained his health, still riddled with guilt from the earlier attack. Her mind was in denial of the pain, trying to stay focused only on him. He reached to her face, as the weight of her body started to slowly descend upon him. And as she fell, so did his heart, this couldn't be happening…it had to be some gruesome nightmare.

The others watched in horror as Mitchell used his last moments of life to end hers, before he fell into a darkened pool of his own blood. Seifer was the first to move letting go of Quistis, who stood motionless from the shock. He left her side only long enough to make sure the beast was really gone. Hyne only knew where his soul resided, because this time Mitchell truly was down…

The words still escaped as Squall managed to get to his knees, now mirroring her position a moment ago as he cradled Rinoa's weakened body. He wanted to say something to make it better, to take away the pain…anything…but the words never came. He could feel her heartbeat resonate through his body, one forged of an unsteady rhythm.

How in the hell could he be _all right_? The torture inside was almost easier to endure when he thought she betrayed him, then he could lay blame on her. Now he felt nothing but hatred toward his own inabilities, his own failures - as a SeeD, a knight, and as a human being. He was nothing, nothing without her. If he could do _something_, say _something_, make the pain she felt inside just go away. Still he sat there holding her tightly, feeling her dying heartbeat…and could say nothing. He felt a slight convulsion and for the first time, she broke their eye contact. They didn't close, but instead they focused on something…something that the others could not see…a ghost.

"Ellone…" she muttered with a certain peace, as a freezing wind swept through the room.

* * *

It was hard to watch the unfolding scene; it was her greatest moment of failure. She had tried so hard, sent so many messages…but somehow they still ended up at the future she attempted to prevent. When Ellone left this world, she believed that the afterlife would be different…a final, an end. She never knew of the purgatory she alone would have to face. Two years of watching, waiting, caught in an existence between two planes…not dead, but far from alive.

Her abilities had grown stronger in the latter days and had been able to do so much more…but still they ended up _here_. Now Ellone's spirit stood silently in the same room as her adoptive family, seeing them all together for the first time. Their images became clear, not just the amber and cerulean hues their auras once projected. Never had she seen the face of her biological half-sister, born to her mother and the man that now lay slain by his own desires. It was both strange and unnerving, the resemblance between herself and Alexandra, not in their physical appearance but in their inner character.

She watched as Zell stood holding Alex, still in shock of what they had witnessed. She watched as Seifer tried to comfort Quistis, who had now fallen to her knees. They were two people she never envision finding comfort within each other. After watching them together, she couldn't imagine them apart. Brought together by betrayal and redemption, she now realized that their strength grew when their souls combined as one.

But in the center of the room lay the most horrific sight imaginable. Her heart reached out in sorrow to her brother, in watching _her_ _failure_ now become his. Ellone had done everything in her power, and things far beyond, to try to warn them of this moment. She watched as Squall embraced the woman that he would give his eternal salvation for, even as a ghost she could shed silent tears.

Rinoa's body was barely conscious after the trauma. Her dark-hair matted with sweat and blood as her pale face grew dimmer by the second. Ellone wondered how much time her friend would have left on the mortal plane. She let out a small gasp unconsciously, as she was trying to be the strong older sister even in death. A sudden chill ran through her, when she realized that Rinoa had heard the sound. No living person should have that ability, yet maybe with a sorceress it was different, or maybe she was closer to that side now, than the world of the living.

Their eyes met for a brief second before Rinoa whispered her name aloud. This was Ellone's judgment, her time in between realms would end, but the younger girl's torment would just begin…she wished this hell upon no one. Ellone turned as the guilt started to overwhelm, she had to turn her face from the humiliation. She alone took the guilt of all, taking it as her own.

There was a full-length mirror attached prominently on the wall behind her. When she turned, Ellone expected to see no reflection…but was shocked when a younger version of herself looked back upon her with innocent eyes. The image was from about the same time-period as leaving the orphanage. The very one she now blamed for scarring Squall so deeply the first time. She could have never known how hard the young boy would take her leaving…but now she hated the reflection in the mirror.

Edea had sacrificed so much to keep her hidden from the world, the white SeeDs who gave their lives…so many countless others had suffered because of _her_. In the loneliness of the solitude, Ellone found innumerable ways that she had altered others lives. Too many hours in the dark had passed contemplating the outcome if she had never been born. She had tried to change the past before, so Laguna could be there with Raine…but it wasn't possible, she learned that fact all too well.

Ellone shook herself out of the delusions as she felt a presence behind her and guilt was momentary put aside. She found the resolve to turn back around, and was shocked to see Rinoa's spirit holding out her hand. It was a transparent figure that did not speak. Even though her mortal body was still alive, with the power of a sorceress she was able to leave her body…if only for a moment. Moving closer the two apparitions touched fingers, and in an instant Ellone's spirit was transferred into that of Rinoa's human form.

Opening her eyes, Ellone was shocked to be seeing out of those of a living being. She realized that Rinoa had sacrificed her last minutes of life, to give Ellone the opportunity to say goodbye to the family she left behind. With this gift she also felt the suffering of the host, and the pain growing in her lungs with every breath. Yet she was grateful for this opportunity, to do what she couldn't so long ago.

* * *

He shivered as the cold breeze hit his skin. It was as if a thousand chilled raindrops had fallen on him all at once. He looked at his arm as the hair stood on its end with the sudden change in temperature. Zell remembered looking at his arm another time like this, but in the visions it wasn't from the cold it was from the raindrops of blood. Suddenly he felt an overwhelming sensation they were not alone. He let go of Alex, quickly scanning the room for what he didn't know. Then he saw it, _the mirror_. At first, he had looked past the reflection thinking nothing different of it, and then he grasped who Squall was holding…it was no longer Rinoa's image in the reflection.

Zell was the first to go toward her, so many feelings clouding his thoughts. His visions, his dreams, all leading to this one moment, somehow in a blink of his mind's eye everything made sense. Ellone had been among them, watching and acting as a guardian angel. In his dreams, she had always said goodbye…

Squall still clung to Rinoa tightly, not allowing those around too near them. Zell moved in, gently tapping him on the shoulder. Squall would break from the moment ignoring any silent request made. The martial artist finally pointed toward the mirror, and the others followed his lead. The gasps of those around made the commander break eye contact with Rinoa for one moment. Squall froze with shock at the different image; he had to reassure himself by looking back down into his arms…he could only see Rinoa's face. Reluctantly he loosened his grip, no longer holding her completely for himself, but for his family to say goodbye to the sister they lost over two years ago.

"Ellone…Sis?" Zell was the first to speak, although the words were hard to say as he gazed into Rinoa's eyes. "We did it, _you did it_. Ally is back at Garden safe with Selphie and Irvine." He paused shaking his head at thought of Irvine, and to the myth he had told back on a stormy Dollet evening. "Great, now I'm going to have to tell Irvine his stupid legend was true… That guy just loves hearing he is right. Hell, they are never going to forgive themselves for missing you."

Zell watched the reflection of his _Sis_ in the mirror, no longer controlling the tears running down his face. He continued smiling through the grief. For in reality, it was not tears of sadness but of joy, the opportunity to speak with her one last time. "Your visions led us here; we all owe you our lives and gratitude. I'll always love you Elle."

She wanted to speak, but her host too weak using all the energy just to breathe. The words made her feel ill. Zell was thankful the visions had led them _here_, they were meant to lead anywhere but _here_. One thing was right, they had managed to save Allison, for that she was eternally indebted to them.

"Hey Elle its me, Quisty…remember at the orphanage when every evening I would go outside to the flower fields and try chasing the sunset with a butterfly net? Every night you asked me if I had managed to capture it, yet you knew that would never happen… but you always were there giving me encouragement. I understand now, it was the dream that made the chase worthwhile… Sis I finally caught the sunset, it's more beautiful than either of us could have imagined. I'm…so…sor-"

She couldn't continue, the guilt of looking into Rinoa's eyes and speaking to the very one she had accused of killing was too much to bear. Seifer held her tight, as she buried her head into his chest. She did not want Ellone to see the tears; Quistis was always the strong one… That's how she wanted Ellone to remember her, and not as the person she had become the last few years.

Seifer looked down at Rinoa's form still bleeding within Squall's arms, and then looked at the mirror as if reassuring himself the vision he was witnessing. Two images… the same but different. He was the one to always question; he was the one always full of doubt. However, he too could feel Ellone's presence in the fragile body that lay in front of him. Just as he could also sense the host quickly fading. Rinoa had sacrificed a chance to say goodbye to her friends, so that Ellone may see her family… He had to accept the gift, the miracle, before him.

"Um…Ellone…Sis," he hesitated with tears in the corner of his eyes. The words felt strange after so long, much longer than the rest of them. It was only five years ago he led Galbadia's search for her, eventually leading her to the Lunatic Pandora. Back then, he would have sold her to the highest bidder. Hell if it wasn't for Fujin and Raijin, she would have been turned over to Ultimecia, just has he had Rinoa to Adel. "I know that I've done a lot in the past. I was wrong…God I was wrong. I promise you that I will always watch out for my family…_your family_. Thank you for this chance at redemption, thank you for the chance at my life."

He didn't know what else to say as he still felt the stranger among them. With every hour, those feelings were fading, but he still couldn't help feel this was _their time_ with Ellone. He hadn't even earned the right to say goodbye…to her or Rinoa for that matter. Seifer returned the embrace from Quistis, hiding his face in her long strands of hair. It was because of Ellone and her dreams that led him back to Garden, he felt whole and part of a family he had once forsaken. More important than that, he felt loved in return…a feeling so foreign.

Alexandra slowly appeared from behind Zell, more at a loss of what to say than the others. This was the sister she only learned about through her own nightmares… the sister she would only meet one time through another's body. One who died too young, one who's eternal future was now going to be decided by the acts that brought them all here.

"Ellone…it's me Alexandra. I'm glad to finally meet you." Tears trailed down her face as she looked at their reflection in the mirror. Ellone was beautiful; the pictures she saw never did her justice. Maybe the beauty lied more within, a soul of pure splendor…one who would sacrifice _all_ for her family.

"I'll never forget you. I'll never forget what you have brought each one of us. The best gift in life I ever received was knowing that someone as wonderful as you was…_is _my sister. The tides of fate brought us together, now they will carry you on to a better place, I love you. For now, forever, you will be my sister."

This left Squall. Again, just like so often in his life, he felt alone. Surrounded by all that loved him, by the ghost of the sister he mourned for the last two years. Yet he was alone…without _her_. Goodbyes were never easy for him, down right impossible. He owed it to her as a testament to the life they shared with her. After his minutes of silence, he finally found the courage to speak.

"Ellone…I miss… Hyne, if _she's_ in there with you, somewhere, tell her that I will…always..."

He closed his eyes unable to say anything else coherently. Returning Rinoa's body to him, he prayed that the sound of his heart could reach her no matter where her spirit was. He watched what signs of life remained from both the soul mate within his arms, and the reflection shinning in the mirror of the sister lost long ago. Emptiness was drowning him inside, fear, hate, every negative emotion known to man all embodied into one horrible ocean of trepidation; his soul was slowly drowning on dry land. Nothing could save him, but having her spirit return into its own vessel.

"I can't… I'm scared. I just found her… I can't lose her. Sis, I love her, I always have. _Allison alone_… Please Sis… if she's there don't let her leave me."

It was like he was pleading to Ellone, begging of her to make everything 'okay'. She looked up to see the sadness clouding his eyes. The same eyes that she had seen during his childhood, the same eyes she had seen in space, but now so much more hurt. It was something that her soul couldn't fathom, to see her reflection in his eyes again… She had helped him once back then, but now at what price?

She didn't care… those eyes….

* * *

_For two years and seven days, I existed within a plane of two realities… not of this earth, not of the afterlife. I watched fragments of my loved ones lives as their souls tormented in anguish. I was only a mere observer into their world, yet I found answers there that I did not seek. _

_A blood relation, neither of us knew of the others existence until I found this realm, my biological sister. The child was a result of a lascivious, deplorable act against my mother during times of war. Alexandra, raised by one of many I held responsible for the murder of our mother. Yet that doctor and his family sought repentance for Esthar's crimes by never hiding the truths they knew from her. They hid her from a father who ordered her execution as a mere infant, when she was found not to contain the same powers I had possessed. _

_Through the aura of my sister, I found means to communicate to my other family, warn them, and finally bring them to this place. I used her as a beacon into their world, until at least I was strong enough to use my own abilities._

_Through it all, I never lost sight of the simple fact: I had other siblings not of blood, but bound together by our childhood and our destines. My family came in many forms, many faces. I love each one the same, no matter the trials they were put through. Each found a way to gain redemption, to gain the peace they sought. The bond of Knight and Sorceress brought two together; circumstances united the others. The last years served as proving grounds to them, to the ultimate sacrifices they would have to face... _

_That day two years ago would forever change history, not of just my family, but of nations. With my last ounce of strength, I brought Rinoa into this realm for a few brief seconds. I showed her what destiny had planned. _

_One constant remains, they had to go through this torment. To each it was a growing experience; life would forever change. Had things remained the same, simple pleasures in life such as love would have gone astray. Over time all would have drifted apart, it was destines cruel adversary, fate, which decided that. _

_It was a test of their will and all passed…but me. Had I been stronger, had I been able to warn them more, if for one second I could let them know the beast was still alive, but even in death…I failed._

_It is too hard for me to speak within this body, yet they know I'm listening. I see each one as they appear today, yet each still holds a unique spark from our time together at the orphanage. It is like my reflection in the mirror, and I can see their images from all those years ago, time has been so cruel to them on more than one occasion. I have heard all their words today, and forever will hold on to their memories. _

_But most of all, I can see his pain; I hear his heartbeat. I feel her try and reach to him. My host body starts to heavily convulse. The stress is weighing too much on her. I have to leave… leave this plane and return to the one I have been in trapped… I finally gather enough energy to speak one solitary word to them, the one that both Alexandra and Zell already knew was going to be said, the one that I told them so many months ago. Just like their dreams I say "goodbye" and then, I smile. _

_A vile feeling envelops my body, and my worst fear comes to light. Rinoa can no longer hold on, her internal damage too much for any mortal person to survive. I can see the dread in Squall's childlike eyes. It is not fear, it is something far worse than that… it is the end of his existence, for he too is dying with every shallow breath. She gave her final moments in life for me to see my family once again… I close my eyes, which are now hers… together we are falling into strangled darkness. _

_But that was then…_

* * *

Rinoa opened her eyes, she was standing on vast barren land. A tempest raged around her, lighting bolts tracing streams of silvery fire into the ground. It took her a while to focus, as the wind vigorously blew her hair. She pulled strands clinging to her lips back, as the tips whipped with force stinging her face. There was something almost eerily familiar about this place, one found only in the most horrific nightmares.

"Rinoa…" Ellone's voice sounded over thundering gale in the background.

She turned to meet the face, still in shock of the environment she was standing within. "Ellone?" The voice questioned the speaker, although it never needed to…maybe it was to believe in the reality she was facing, maybe it was to end the fantasy she had dreamed.

As the older girl walked toward her, the winds died down leaving a calming on the horizon. So quickly the backdrop changed, as if trying to ease the young girl's fear. She had weathered this storm, just like so many others in her life. Ellone embraced her hugging Rinoa tightly. "I can never repay you for those final moments…you will never know how grateful I am."

The confused girl looked down embarrassed from the words. Forcing away the feeling of regret, she tried not to ponder on the loss of never saying goodbye herself. She focused her energy on the still almost translucent figure in front of her. "Ellone, where am I?"

"Between two planes, a place my spirit has been imprisoned for years. From here, you can see into the mortal realm, portholes really. Ones you can witness bits, pieces, and fragments of the lives of the living."

"A ghost…" Rinoa whispered looking to the soil, as the barren earth seemed to be cracking under her feet. She reached down at the sight of stray white feather. Picking it up, she ran the soft tips over the ends of her fingers. "I'm a ghost, a memory…I'm dead?"

"No… you're not dead."

Rinoa lifted her attention from the feather, looking at the woman in front of her. There had been too many strange coincidences… Too many things that no one could explain, but this place held many mysteries within, even the young sorceress could sense this.

"You're wondering how," Ellone looked at her smiling, she always had a way of calming a person…that hadn't faded even in her passing. "Rinoa, when I first arrived…my soul was as lost as yours, but I never had the power of a sorceress. I had a power almost greater in this realm…one that not even Hyne could control. Over the years I learned to use that ability, not just as I had on the earth, but I could foresee certain events of your future."

"But you saw it? You saw my future…and somehow you changed it?"

Ellone looked away not sure how to answer. There was no peaceable answer. "I can't say if it was destiny, fate, or… I only know that your future is to raise your daughter. You have faced the true test of any sorceress, or human being, you fought between the two sides within. It hasn't always been that way, nor will it be in the future…but you survived."

Rinoa looked into the far off distance, trying not to let the mourning show on her face. Somehow this is not how she pictured death, it wasn't of clouds and cities of gold, it was a barren wasteland. Not that she would depict eternity often, but somehow when she allowed her mind to venture into the mystery it never seemed this…lonely.

She stammered as Ellone's words sank in, "You just said…_'know that your future is to raise your daughter'_…not past tense."

Turning quickly the younger girl grabbed Ellone's arm trying to remain composed. "What, what is going on here? There is something you're not telling me, isn't there?"

She couldn't look the fearful girl in the eyes. Yes, there was something she was hiding, something that would devastate the younger one if she ever figured it out. But that was not to be for now, it was a future that she didn't need to know about… There was one thing that Ellone was sure, that Rinoa's story wouldn't end here…it would go on for decades.

"What…what are you not telling me? Is it about who I pass my powers onto…who?" This time the questions came out as begging, obviously afraid of the answer.

Ellone took a deep breath, inhaling the arid atmosphere before answering the question. "You don't, not yet." With that she reached out her hand tears in her eyes, knowing there was one thing she could do…one thing that would change her soul forever. A destiny Ellone would have never guessed, but now the pieces of her life seemed to fall into place…maybe she knew the final outcome since her childhood…maybe that is why she sought it out. She pushed Rinoa backwards with surprising force, knocking her to the ground…and into history.

* * *

When Rinoa sat up, she was no longer in the desolate wasteland but standing in Garden two years ago. She felt someone brush beside her and turned quickly surprised as long hair caught in her collar. In that instance she froze, when the moment she had lived so many times in her mind played itself out. This time she already knew her part, like an actress portraying a role. A blurry form of Quistis ran in front yelling toward a now collapsed figure in Balamb Garden.

"Ellone…" The dark-haired sorceress whispered under her breath. As if by magic, the instructor yelled the same exact word, only with much more urgency. Rinoa knew…Rinoa knew every line by heart.

_"Rinoa, please can you help her?" _The instructor's words rang just as grave now as they had two years ago, the same desperate look covering the blonde woman's face.

The younger girl spoke the same 'lines' as she did that day, not with the same emotion…but with a _certain_ monotone voice, trying to figure exactly what was happening. "I don't have a GF or any magic junctioned…Quistis…I can't help…I can't help her…I'm sorry."

Folding her arms to her chest, Rinoa tried not to let the vision take over. She had to get through this for some reason, like it was some kind of un-sacramental test from Hyne.

_"It's all right."_ The fallen girl echoed the script as Rinoa remembered the events. And just like back then, the Ellone held her hand out… The sorceress looked around, remembering everything just as back then…everything up to this moment when she lost consciousness. It had always been a blur, but she remembered she was told to run…to run away to save them. She hesitantly reenacted the scene, leaning toward Ellone and then a bright light radiated enveloping both bodies. A darkness overtook them, as she felt herself falling to the hardened concrete ground.

_"Rinoa?_ _ Can you hear me?" _

"Yes…" This she did not remember, this _did not_ happen…did it?

_"You have enough power to save me…"_

"No…I'm not strong enough."

_"You are now…you have to try for Squall, for Allison."_

"Allison? How do you know about Allison? Ellone where am I? _When_ am I?"

_"Rinoa you can do it…don't just lay there, get up! Use your strongest healing spell now you…I…don't have much time left!"_

"Oh Hyne no…I…can't…I'm not strong enough…" The guilt from the failure clouded her mind, just as it had done in her nightmares for the last two years…if only she had been strong enough. Ashen light passed in front of Rinoa and she used all her strength to stand, it felt as if she had a dagger in her chest. She tried to cover her mouth in pain, but blood surged through her lungs. She spat out what seemed to be rivers of the scarlet liquid trailing down her body.

"Ellone…I can barely see you…" Her vision clouded with mist within her memories and the fog of the reality she was facing.

_"You can do it…now!" _

The scream echoed in her head, it was the only words that she could hear. With her shaking hand, Rinoa lifted it skyward to the heavens calling on all her inner strength, emotions past, present and future. She had to do this…she had to save Ellone _this time_ and end the eternal nightmare. She called out the spell in between hurried gasps of air. Lighting traced around her fingers dancing on the tips like flames to a fire. With a surge of energy, they quickly radiated forth calling a force beyond all known comprehension.

Within the summoning, Rinoa had momentarily lost sight of her intended target. She had never seen Ellone cast a counter spell with quickness, nor had she ever seen her even use any magic. Especially with a speed unknown to any sorceress, as if she had the spell ready for centuries. She had cast reflect upon herself, acting as a power transmitter, making the spell rebound tenfold. The force came back to Rinoa with intensity unspeakable. In her weakened state, it again knocked her to the floor as she screamed with unfathomable pain.

Her mind a blanket of pure white and every moment of her life passed before her eyes. It was as if the good was trying to outweigh the writhing pain; it was as if muscle in her body was being torn apart and every bone was shattering at once. At last, she no longer had the strength to scream nor cry as the torment continued for what seemed an infinity. Yet it wasn't. She soon choked on a breath of fresh air, not met with the flavor of blood. The realization dawned upon her it wasn't breaking the layers of bone and muscles, but mending them past any known medical or magical abilities.

"Oh Hyne, Ellone what have you done?" Her mind cried out, but the words never left her mouth. The scene around her faded from the familiar silhouettes of Garden to the stormy realm she had found herself in earlier.

The older girl fell, lying on the broken ground, looking completely different from before. It wasn't in appearance, as much as the aura surrounding her…one of agony and unspeakable torture. It was only then that the streaks of crimson started to trickle from her abdomen. "I did what I had to do."

"No…Ellone…what _did_ you do? You can't go on…your soul…it will be trapped in this damnation forever. You will lose yourself in this place…you will…"

"I know." She smiled weakly. "I couldn't let him suffer anymore, he had suffered enough. He can't wait this time; I saw my reflection in his eyes…his childhood…mine…"

"Where am I?" Rinoa screamed afraid of the answer, she looked down at the feather in her hand now seeming more matured than the freshly detached one she had grabbed. "Oh my God…"

"You weren't strong enough back then to save me, but I am now strong enough to save you."

"Ellone…I…I wasn't trying to… How long has passed since I arrived here?"

"For you, just seconds…for me generations… I had to convince _her_ it would work, she never knew who I really was when I suggested..."

"But…Elle no…all for…how many lives were sacrificed? Ellone it's not worth it! You never could see the future, could you? It was always your past… If he knew what you have done, it would kill him…"

"No Rinoa, if he lost you that _would_ kill him. I did it, I finally did it…I changed what couldn't be changed…Rinoa you must run from here. _He loves you and always will_…" Rinoa saw the once young woman stand with her last ounce of strength. Reaching out, Ellone again pushed her off a ledge that seemed to magically appear. She lost the feather she had been clutching tightly in her left hand, and it floated gracefully up into a sudden gale.

And then darkness…

* * *

Squall still held on to Rinoa's delicate body, refusing to let go. The ex-commander, ex-SeeD, and now ex-knight, reached to his own neck, feeling for the chain that was a phantom of his memory. Their daughter was once Rinoa's only salvation; now she would be his. He would continue in this world not for him, but for the child they both created.

He flashed back to their night at the cabin, their first night together in two years. Never would he forget that, never had he felt such tranquility in the days that followed. Their relationship grew deeper than ever before, his soul would follow _that_ bond anywhere.

Looking down, he smoothed the hair behind her ears as gravity let the tears run their natural course. Everything that he had ever been or ever would be, turned to frost in the bitter torment of those moments, all reasoning forsaking rational thinking. He tried to thaw his heart as a frigid chill ran through his veins, never realizing all within the room felt the cooling temperature once again.

Against the wall Zell held Alexandra tight, as tried to fight back the flood of tears. He looked into the mirror afraid of what he might see. The reflection back was only what he saw in front of him…nothing more, nothing less. He closed his eyes as the pain was becoming too great. If only he had interpreted the clues sooner, if only he had stopped Squall from grabbing the gunblade...if only. The signs had always been in front of him, but even he couldn't see the writing on the wall.

He shut his eyes only to have the vision haunt him, but something didn't feel right. The cold breeze hit the martial artist, at that moment. Somehow, around _here_ it had become the norm to feel unexpected climate changes. He looked back into the mirror rubbing his eyes. Maybe through the sting of tears his vision blurred, but it looked as if beautiful iridescent streams of light were radiated from the blood-covered woman. He looked back to his friend, and the scene in his arms hadn't changed to the blind eye.

Squall remembered the poem Rinoa read to him that night before she gave her life to save their daughter. The way she read each word aloud, the way her hair fell gracefully highlighting her face, the very essence of life she breathed. It was the only true night they were a family. The one night that all the truths were known and they could look upon each other with unadulterated eyes. The words forever etched on his mind, on his soul.

Through his tears, he choked out the last verse. Squall grasped lowering his head upon hers. Only to his surprise, a sudden jolt of electricity surged through his heart into hers…

Squall released his hopeless grasp, just enough to search her soft face for signs of life. To his astonishment, her intense brown eyes were staring back through the crimson stains.

"Squall…I always loved you, better than you knew."

She reached up placing her hand on his face, each covered in blood but never looking more at peace. He smiled gently back at her leaning down to meet her lips. So much emotion passed between the two with one simple act. They knew they would never be apart.

"How?" The word escaped his lips, although somehow still kissing her.

She parted slightly as her eyes closed for a moment. Was it a dream, was it fantasy? Had she ever been stabbed? The blood covering her told one story, the freshly healed wound told quite another. If for one second her dreams had come to pass, had Ellone sacrificed her soul, her sanity and loyalty, to save Rinoa? Had Ellone scarified so much more than could ever be spoken? Could one moment in time have crossed generations, have spanned lifetimes? Was it truly possible to turn back time…and if so, at what cost? Were the visions of the future truly the past?

"I don't know," she cried looking back at him. "I…don't know." It wasn't a lie, but was it the truth?

He didn't care.

Quistis buried her head in Seifer's chest. Somehow, her life was like a phoenix rising from the ashes, watching a miracle that none of them should ever question. Somehow, somewhere they must have done something right. She felt as the man that supported her started to rise to his feet, helping her up with him. There were no words needed to be spoken…they had so much left to look for, a lifetime to make up for the mistakes they had made in youth. Maybe it wasn't a fairytale ending, but it was as close as she could hope. She had to find herself, something she had never done before. There was nothing left for her at Garden, only something left within its prison walls…someone who she would be waiting for…no matter how long it took.

Seifer released Quistis to aid Squall into getting back onto his feet. They were far from out of the clear, they still had to leave this place unnoticed…but together he would be sure as hell they found a way. He didn't make it this far only to fail…not again.

Alex watched as the sorceress was locked tightly in the arms of the man who completed her. For in that instance, she knew what Rinoa wasn't sure about…she could sense it and so much more. It was far greater a sacrifice than one should have to face, but some secrets had to remain even from her best friend…sometimes lies are best. However she knew one thing, Ellone would forever be a part of her.

Looking to the corpse covering the ground, Alex felt not the slightest ounce of remorse. "Goodbye _Dad_," the words ran cynically off her tongue. Maybe the voices of dead could finally find the justice they long desired. Maybe now, there would be peace to her mother's memory; Jefferson Mitchell's trial and judgment decided out in that very room…now his soul would face a sentence of perpetual damnation. To the countless lives he destroyed, to the countless masses he renounced his verdict a fitting reflection to his life. He was _only_ a man…only a monster.

Zell led the way, attempting to scan the hallway. He quickly opened the door, as Squall gently carried Rinoa in his arms.

The man still shaken from the events looked down in his arms for reassurance. She smiled in return, and then gently closed her eyes. "Rinoa let's go get our daughter."

Laying her head upon his chest, she listened to his heart…now knowing exactly how precious of gift each beat was. A gift neither would ever take for granted again, a gift that nobody in that room would ever forsake. Maybe to the world she would be dead, and that would finally bring her peace…maybe history could write what they wanted to about her…she didn't care. Betrayer, warlord, dictator, cold-blooded murdered….she was dead to them, all of them. She would find someone else to be…yet again. Forever her stories would be told in legend, the lies would live on… but the truths only to a privileged few.

She was tired, but had no will to sleep. For right now, she wanted every second of life…to enjoy each and every precious one. She knew they would have many more _seconds_, and many years of them, but something was special about these. Something magical, something spiritual…something that neither of them could ever describe to another living soul.

As they were about to leave, two Galbadian soldiers came around the corner looking at what they thought to be the final appalling act of Sorceress Heartilly. They looked on in horror as the dead Pesident lay on the ground covered in his own blood. Finally, one spoke up demanding an answer.

"Did the sorceress do this?"

Everyone stared in disbelief, as the soldiers seemed to echo a nightmare begun two years ago. Nobody dared move a muscle. Nobody dared to breathe. Nobody dared tell the _truth_.

Irony is a fickle creature…redemption for one's mistakes comes in many forms.

Quistis approached the soldier daring to look him directly in the eyes, saying one simple word. One that she should have answered two years ago…

"_No_."

Our lives are mere specks upon the shadows of the earth; we are travelers amongst the stars, if only for a brief period of time. If given the chance to have your dreams fulfilled with a simple _yes _or _no_ question, could one _always_ make the right choice? Are the dreams you dream, reality or fantasy?

* * *

* * *

**2-02-2004**** Foreword:** It was with mixed emotions that I'm posting this, but part of me wanted others to see a little about the results of the last forty-one chapters. If you were satisfied with the ending before, I implore you not to read this… If you wanted to understand some things that might not have been evident…this may help…a bit. I never wanted to write a sequel, but for those who wanted to understand some of the undertones, I finally put this on paper. It has been well over a year since I've completed Crimson, but the story, the ending, and the future of the characters in my mind never changed… I want to thank Robert, Vick, and of course, Nicole for helping me throughout this story. Also a special thanks to Maja and Weiila for giving me advice when I asked. This will not answer every question, and it is not meant to…but I hope it brings some type of closure. Every review, every letter has meant so much to me, I can only thank you from the bottom of my heart… I hope that Final Fantasy Eight can live on somewhere in our hearts, forever.

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**Epilogue: Salvation **

"Dad what happens if a sorceress ever comes back? What if she tries to kill me?"

Standing in the doorway, she closed her eyes, as the words stung like a thousand needles piercing her skin. Even in the darkness she could see swirling light, as her heartbeat resonated in her chest like violent thunder. Yet, he sat on the bed, never betraying his calm.

"You remember that I knew a few in my lifetime. They're not all bad." His words soft and reassuring; he pushed back the little girl's hair with his fingertips.

"But if one tried to kill us, you would protect us right?"

"You and Mom… with my life."

The young girl smiled proudly. She sat up quickly, hugging the man sitting on the edge of her bed. With equal tenderness, he returned the gesture, lightly patting the child's back. Gently he laid her back down, pulling the quilt up to her chest.

"Now, are the nightmares gone?" She nodded, trying to remain brave. "Good, now get some sleep, okay?"

Little eyes darted around the room nervously, before pointing to a shelf. "Dad, can I sleep with Cactuar, please? Just one more night…"

He sighed, "I thought we agreed to keep him up there, so he could watch over you."

She buried her face under the covers trying to reason, "I know. But Dad… he could watch me from down here too."

The bed creaked as he stood. She emerged from her hiding place, as footsteps softly echoed through the room. Trying not to tremble, she held out delicate fingers, reaching for her stuffed companion. "Thanks Dad. I'll make it tomorrow night without him. I promise."

"Elizabeth, don't ever make a promise you can't keep."

"…I'm sorry." Her tiny voice quivered knowing how seriously he took promises.

He smiled at her, hoping that his tone hadn't sounded too harsh, some habits still remained. Bending down, he gave her a kiss on the forehead. "It's okay, but we'll try without Cactuar tomorrow…and if that doesn't work - we keep trying until it does."

"I love you." Her words were barely audible, but he heard every syllable.

"Love you too." With that, he patted her head and turned off the light. He could hear her sitting up, starting to protest in the newfound darkness. Before she could object, he quickly flipped on her nightlight. "Don't worry, I could never forget."

* * *

Her back was against the wall, as the world seemed to be whirling violently in a mist covered haze. When he exited the bedroom, she opened her eyes, looking at him pleadingly. Reaching out to her, as he had done so many nights before, he pulled her close, wanting to offer the same comfort as he had his daughter.

"She doesn't know what she's saying. She can't."

The name came out as a mere sob against his chest, "…Squall."

He held her tight, smoothing down dark hair. "Now don't make me go get you a stuffed Cactuar to sleep with, alright?" She had to laugh between tears. She too nodded her head, just as their daughter had done.

Stepping back, he forced her to look directly in his eyes. Carefully, he placed a hand on her cheek, affectionately caressing her skin. "She is not scared of you, she is scared of a concept. You are her mother, and she loves you with all her heart." He wiped away her tears from, pulling her back into his arms. The minutes passed as they just stood in beautiful silence. Still her body trembled within his arms. Finally, he took a step back, leading her toward the balcony doors.

The July heat sweltered outside their townhouse, and upon contact with the air, their bodies began to sweat. She moved to the edge, wrapping slim fingers around the brass railing.

With her other hand, she pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail, she could feel his presence move beside her. Together, they stared off into the city's vast horizon. The radiance of the capital shimmered from the lights, as the whole metropolis illuminated like a beautiful glass crystal.

"I never could have imagined Esthar to be so beautiful…or so unbearable hot," her voice rasped under the humidity.

"It's certainly no Balamb. Then again, I can remember at least _one_ day back there that it was this hot." His intonation turned slightly mischievous as he moved his eyes to her.

"Oh hush up," she ordered, playfully tapping him on the wrist. "Do you really have to mention _that_ now?"

He moved forward, capturing the hand that she had just moved, wrapping his fingers around hers. "Now and every chance I get. We could go out in the car for old time's sake." Her body shivered, even in the pungent heat… He immediately assumed the reaction was from his comment, referring to a lifetime that no longer existed. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."

"No Squall," she lowered her head shaking it slightly. "It's not that… just _it_ came today."

He moved behind her, no longer concerned about the sweltering temperatures. Wrapping both arms around her waist, he pressed his body next to hers.

"Why, why do you do this to yourself?" His words sent tingles deep into her soul as they danced on her ears.

"I know. I know…but please…"

It killed him every year. The words were never going to change, forever etched into history. Maybe it was his curse too. So every year he protested the rite, knowing it was a hallowed ritual that he would inevitably honor.

"Where is it?"

"On the table." Her answer was short and direct.

Tender arms retreated from their security, as he loyally obliged her request. In a moment's time, he came back with a leather-bound manual. A cool breeze picked up like an ominous ghost seeking its redemption. It churned almost vehemently, covering their bodies with goose bumps. He turned on the veranda light, and a thousand insects seemed to emerge from their hiding place amongst the shadows.

Together they sat down at the table; he started searching through the book for the chapter which he had helped define. As he skimmed through the pages, she leaned back in her chair, ready to hear the words that never would fade with time. Reaching his destination, he looked over to her, silently wishing this could be the last year... She seemed so tranquil; he only wanted to save her from this annual torment… save her from the demons. But he couldn't, he knew it. So like the true knight, he began reading the words embedded for generations to believe.

* * *

** _Garden History: Post Ultimecia Conflict  
Chapter Four: The Unseen Threat_ **

After the defeat of Ultimecia, a new evil emerged, not from the future, but within Garden's own walls. One of the six chosen to fight for our future was infected with a disease so deadly, it killed many of those touched by its presence. Rinoa Heartilly, daughter of Galbadian General Caraway, was entrusted with the embodiment of a sorceress. As with many of her predecessors, she chose to utilize the power as a dominating force.

Although much controversy surrounds her latter years, many facts have been conceded to by both Garden and Galbadian sources. To gain supremacy among students at Garden, she knighted the first Commander of Balamb, Squall Leonhart.

With her force growing stronger in Balamb, she managed to also knight the then President of the Galbadian Republic, and leader of The World Council, Jefferson Mitchell. After a failed coup to overtake Balamb Garden, she fled, managing to stabilize several of her loyal troops. For two years they laid in wait, preparing for a final assault on all Gardens and their known allies.

During this period, Squall Leonhart went on to wed one of the other of the fated children, Quistis Trepe. It was then that the sorceress' hold over him was relinquished, as he denounced her publicly. In denial and self doubt, Leonhart could no longer live with the guilt he carried concerning his relationship with the accused murderess. It was his self-destructive behavior that led him to carry on countless extra marital affairs, including one with his administrative assistant, Lauren Rachels, which would later produce a child.

During her time of corruption, Sorceress Heartilly gained absolute control over then President Mitchell. Garden banded together with the supporters of the Republic, capturing the sorceress in a worldwide manhunt. On the day of her execution, she claimed one more victim, the President himself. It was in his final moments of life that he was able to take hers.

The group who once saved the world from Ultimecia eventually united together to save the world from another of Hyne's decedents. This time, the faction also included Seifer Almasy, an exiled Balamb Garden student. Almasy went on to serve a three year term in Galbadia for treason against his adopted homeland.

Quistis Trepe, former wife of the commander, went on to leave the Garden system, teaching in the private sector. Her efforts in the capture were rewarded with the Galbadian Cross, the highest medal possible for non-citizens of the Galbadian Republic. The three remaining 'original saviors,' Irvine Kinneas, Selphie Tilmitt, and Zell Dincht, were also awarded the medal of valor from the Galbadian government. The first Commander of Balamb Garden, and sitting member of the world council, Squall Leonhart, went on to continue his work in Esthar. Where he currently resides under the protection of Estharian laws.

Reports of any link to Trabian council member Richard Bennett and the sorceress have been disproved. Evidence surfaced showing that Renee Bennett, and her deceased daughter Allison Bennett, were murdered by Bennett himself. Any kidnapping allegations were dismissed when both bodies were discovered in a nearby cabin.

It was also in this time that the financial corruption surrounding the newly structured World Council was exposed. The political organization formally disbanded one year later, as both General Caraway and Richard Bennett were found to have been at the center of the investigation. Due to both of their deaths, the truth was taken to their respective graves. Bennett killed himself after being charged formally with the double homicide of his wife and eighteen-month-old-child. In an unrelated incident, Caraway was killed in a hunting accident while traveling abroad near the edge of the Shumi land.

On a final note, the supposed 'confession' of President Mitchell was later proved to be an elaborate hoax by Heartilly's loyalists. Both the Garden Education System and the Galbadian Republic have agreed to that fact. After her execution, Sorceress Heartilly's ashes were allowed to be spread on Galbadian soil, after much protest from its citizens. It was only with the recommendation of the other 'saviors' that the request was granted, as they lobbied in her favor. Her remains were eventually laid next to her mother.

* * *

He closed the book, watching a flash of heat lightening illuminate above the distant skies. Every year for the last half decade, he read the same printed text to her. Every year at Garden he attended a memorial service for Ellone, _and her._ And every year he worried about her sanity just a little more. The knight had always been able to pull her back, but he feared a time when she would be unreachable. He could hear the hurried gasps, as she tried to regain a steady rhythm in her breathing. Her pain killed him. It always had.

"Rinoa…"

"No!" she cut him off, still out of breath. "She's dead. Elizabeth might hear you. Somebody might hear you!"

He sighed angrily, shoving the goddamned book off the table. Maybe this year was it, the final time he would give into the pressure to read the fucking lies. But he said that every year…

"Okay… _Lauren_."

The name still killed him to whisper, even as it rolled off his tongue. He stood, pushing his chair away forcefully. Walking over, he kneeled in front of her. "Look at me."

She snapped her head toward him like she wanted to yell, but she couldn't. Instead, all she could see was the guilt of his own infidelity clouding his eyes. Even after all this time, she focused only on the life that she'd left behind, forgoing his anguish…forgoing his past.

"I'm so sorry, Squall." She pleaded, begging for forgiveness. Leaning forward, she wrapped her arms around his neck, glad for the life they had… no matter _who_ they were.

"I know. I know you are." He always forgave her, no matter what. It was his curse, it was his saving grace. He laid his head on her stomach, as she continued to hold him close. It was the same question she asked every year, and the same one he couldn't answer. Yet with each passing hour, the moment of their judgment was approaching.

"When do we tell her the truth?"

"I don't know. When we are ready."

The fact remained, would they ever be ready? The seven-year-old had heard the lies since she was born into their sin, even moving half way around the globe didn't change their reality. But she was strong, she was like her parents, she would prevail. She was still 'Allison' in their hearts, but now only known by one of her other given names.

He moved his hand underneath her camisole, lifting up the silk only slightly. Running his fingers over her smooth abdomen, he felt no imperfections…not even a scar. He softly kissed her belly, and she reacted, laughing at the feathery touch of his lips.

"What are you doing?" she questioned, tilting her head accusingly.

"You really have to ask?" He let the material fall back to her stomach, as he stood up reaching for her hand. He intertwined their fingers, helping to her to her feet.

"You're impossible, Squall."

"And you're beautiful."

* * *

_Commander Leonhart, Squall Leonhart, Knight, Lover, Dad… all just labels for the same person. She was right about one thing, the titles do not matter, it is only what each represents that counts. Almost eleven years have passed since Ultimecia's demise…and almost six since 'Rinoa's.' I learned once it was easier to live the lie, but now it is the lie I prefer to live…_

_History itself can be twisted, manipulated by the highest bidder. In fact, we are all gods, if given the proper catalyst. With enough capital, anything can be bought, even the lies that we are predestined to repeat each day. It is the lies we have chosen, and the lies we are damned to endure._

_But I do so willingly. _

_This is the life we wrote, we determined our own fate. The sorceress is dead to the world, but alive to the ones who keep her secret. For reasons apparent, she doesn't leave the safety that Esthar provides…that Laguna provides. In a strange twist of irony, she is once again a prisoner within four walls. Her current name just a title printed on a piece of paper, the true owner of the name lays somewhere in the ocean's depths. Gone. Decayed…a part of history that will not be printed in the text. Another orphan lost by time._

_Every year new textbooks are issued to students at Garden, every year 'our' history is written a little more. I, the adulterer husband of Quistis Trepe, and she, the forgotten savior of the world. All that remains of Rinoa Heartilly are the lies, but there was no other road for us to take. _

_This way, at least we travel together._

_It is fate that the true dementia of Jefferson Mitchell will never be known. Again, it was the history that we dictated. This way the world can have their good and bad, their black and white…it can have the answers it so desperately seeks. _

_My sorceress very much still holds her powers, and I still hold the responsibility as her knight. Her only knight…ever. There exists no way of separating, nor sealing, her powers as the world believes. But the world can sleep better at night believing in the lie…our daughter can sleep better at night believing in the lie._

_The friends we had once now reside all over the globe. _

_Quistis did move into the private sector and Seifer did serve his time in prison. Their road has not been easy, nor paved in the fairytale ending they thought they'd found. But their feelings do exist…as does their relationship. It is not a love of paper cards, or fresh flowers…but of understanding and desire. I hope that history will be kind to them, but only time will tell. Selphie and Irvine are still together. I wonder if their relationship was predestined in the stars, or only a chance meeting by the tides of fate. Zell married, he has two girls now, one more on the way… I think it was hardest to lose contact with him… That is what we decided, and we must live with the regret. Most of our past ties have been cut for obvious reasons, even with Garden. _

_They hid our secret, and we hide theirs._

_In one brief moment, all time became one… Crossing generations, breaking all known physics, she took one moment and twisted two passengers of this world together. Two life forces connected by their powers. In one minute, two bodies switched and what could have been…what should have been…became only a faded memory to a few. With the power of two sorceresses, the impossible came to pass._

_The blade of a madman, cutting not only through flesh and bone, but through space and time itself. Not piercing his intended victim of the present, but one of the past...exactly two years and one week in the past. Yet for awhile, Rinoa and Ellone's life forces became one._

_And so now destiny is set. It is written by fate, it is written by the events of the past, present, and future. It is written by 'we' the ones with the resources to buy it. The ones who once aimed to stop Time Compression…now must secretly guarantee its survival. Without it, Garden fell to Galbadia. I did not survive, Rinoa did not survive._

_Do you believe the history that you have come to accept as fact, while some great heroes are nothing more than a footnote in a textbook? Is yesterday's past being rewritten as you breathe by the highest bidder? Some are elevated to the stature of hero, while others pay the ultimate price. The blood that is shed today is in vain, as the only truth is found hidden among the crimson lies._


End file.
